


An Eye for an Eye Makes the Whole World Blind

by Casper_Smith



Category: An Eye for an Eye Makes the Whole World Blind
Genre: Anarchy, Apocalypse, Bisexual, Blow Jobs, Boyfriends, BoyxBoy, Disease, End of the World, Fiction, Future, Gay, Gay Fiction, Gay Romance, Gay Sex, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Love, M/M, Original Character(s), Post-Apocalypse, Revolution, Robots, Romance, Science Fiction, Steampunk, Suicide Pact, Virus, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:07:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 108,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25009702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casper_Smith/pseuds/Casper_Smith
Summary: Isaac has just been screwed over by people he though he trusted, and now he has no chance of escaping the city. He’s lucky a small group of survivors in this plague ridden city take him in, asking for his help with starting a revolution against the government that’s trying to eradicate them all. They all try their best to avoid killing innocents and the Afflicted, searching for a more peaceful way of going about things. Work on a cure and turning the government’s killer robots against them is all the group can think to do to regain control of their lives.
Relationships: Isaac Patel/Leo Smith
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Snakes and Ladders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was edited on Feb. 12, 2021! I’ll be working on the following chapters soon, and then I’ll work on a new chapter (which is already in the works). :D

_Isaac Patel, autumn 2157._

I locked my gaze with my companion, my heart thundering in my chest. The gleam of a nearby spotlight fixated on our escape route illuminated the edges of his golden hair and solemn face. I still couldn't believe we were actually doing this. It almost seemed too soon, if that was possible. My friend—well, no, I wouldn’t call him that—turned to peek around the corner as a surveyor passed us, its towering hydraulics hissing under its weight. If that thing saw us... well, the bullet ridden body across the street told us all we needed to know. Two of our buddies were already at the Wall, waiting with a ladder long enough to get us all over it. I tapped Carson on the shoulder, and he looked at me impatiently. 

“Should I throw a frag grenade? It’ll probably knock the surveyor over,” I offered, my voice no louder than a whisper in fears of being heard by one of the audio detectors. Well, I didn’t know if the robots had audio detectors, actually. 

The government really doesn’t want us to get over the Wall. So many robots and mechanisms to keep us stuck inside. ‘We don’t want the breakout to spread,’ they say. ‘We’re doing it for your own well being.’ There’s still at least a quarter of the population worth of healthy people left behind these walls, and all we want is to not get sick like those poor, poor people; to survive to see another day. Our government always did drop the ball, even when I was younger. 

“No,” Carson said after some thought. He peeked around the edge of the abandoned car again, paranoia breathing down both of our necks. I brought my hand up and hooked my teeth around one of my stubby fingernails. “Then the alarms would go off and we’d be screwed,” he noted gruffly. Oh, I hated when he talked like that. He thinks he’s so high and mighty, that he’s better than everyone. When he looked around the corner once again, he gasped quietly and I nearly rolled my eyes. “Here’s our chance. C’mon, move.”

He grabbed my arm, pulling my hand away from my mouth, and dragged me into the open. I felt a sharp chill of fear crawl down my spine and fester in my stomach. There were no lights on us thankfully, the shadows hiding us from anything that could hurt us—that is, unless there’s a hidden soldier or afflicted waiting for us to walk into their trap. 

When we reached the Wall, we pressed right up against the concrete and made ourselves as small as possible. There was writing on the Wall above us, words written years ago when the military first started to take over the city. Things such as ‘they won’t let us eat,’ or ‘they’re taking our children,’ were painted in a dark spray paint or carved into the concrete itself. 

We had come up with a theory that if we didn’t move and stayed relatively hidden, the surveyors wouldn’t detect us. Janky, poorly researched, government funded tech. Of course, if they had heat trackers, they’d spot us, so that must be out of the equation. I told my group-mates that I should go and get my hands on a broken surveyor to study it, to find out its weaknesses, but all I got was a ‘no, Isaac, that’s crazy.’ So much for believing in me. 

I followed Carson down the Wall, barely able to see his face. His green eyes still glittered in the moonlight, though. I didn’t know it, but we were right next to Adam and Karmin in only a few steps. I nearly yelped when I heard Adam talk considering he appeared to be swallowed by the blackness and had a voice like it belonged to the void.

“We need to lift this ladder up very carefully and make no noise,” Adam explained, near silent and anxiety dripping in his voice. “Also, someone needs to hold the ladder while the rest of us climb up.” 

“I’ll do it,” I offered without thinking. Carson argued a bit, but we didn’t have time to figure everything out. Honestly, it was our fault for not planning this out enough, but I was never really one for planning. We pulled the wooden ladder we had built out of an abandoned house’s paneling up and leaned it against the Wall, it being the perfect height. 

Months earlier, I had come out here all alone and found how high the Wall was in the only way I knew possible. Shot my gun at the ledge near the top and timed how long it took for the bullet to hit. I tried my best to remember the math to convert everything down and managed to get the length I needed. Karmin and Carson built the ladder, about 65 meters long. Now imagine four malnourished 20-something year olds lifting a rickety, wooden, 65 meter long ladder up against a wall while a robot on stilts walks around, threatening to shoot us with high powered machine guns. 

We managed it, though, as impossible it sounded. Or, well, we thought it was impossible. It’s been so long that we thought escape was unattainable. My pistol in one hand and the finger on the trigger, I held the ladder steady as my friends climbed up. That damn gun. I hated it. Never even shot it before, but Carson insisted I carried it as if I’d actually use it in any situation. I’d much rather lose my life than take another’s at this point in my life. Carson always asks where I learned that from, but I can’t exactly remember. Maybe it was just the sight of all of this death around me that made me hate me being part of the cause.

“Be careful,” Carson whispered before ascending the ladder quickly and quietly, almost as if he cared. My heart jumped into my throat as the rickety rungs of the ladder creaked, but the surveyor across the street didn’t seem to notice it. When everyone reached the top, I expected someone to hold the ladder from the top for me, but you know what happened?

Adam just… kicked it, simple as that. Those moments were in slow motion for me. The ladder slowly fell down as I instinctively jumped out of the way. The crash it made as it impacted on the hard pavement below, wood splintering everywhere; the alarm immediately sounding off. And worst of all, the quick beeping of the four legged surveyor, a laser pointed right at me. Quick thinking finally came in handy, because I managed to shoot a bullet into the large tank at the top of the machine, the robot immediately exploding and shrapnel flying everywhere. Damn you, Carson, I didn’t… I didn’t need the gun… even that innocent killing, government deployed robot… it was a beautifully clunky piece of machinery and I hated to destroy it.

A burning, searing pain cut through the right side of my skull as a million pieces of metal cut deep into my skin, but I had other things to worry about. I held my free hand up to my eye and ran. I ran back into the town I was just trying to escape from. As I fled, I noticed something. I didn’t know the surveyors could go down so easily. Nobody we had talked to before we came here did, either. That was something people needed to know, that’s for sure. 

The sound of another surveyor following me echoed as loud as my heartbeat, but I didn’t dare look back. Not even when I heard the tracker trying to line up with my rapid movements. When I reached the appropriately named ‘Hidden Bridge’ (a large concrete bridge nearer the Wall than the nearest suburb which earned its name from people jumping in it to hide from the surveyors,) I vaulted over the railing that had been chipped down for easy access and landed in the cold water with a painful splash. 

My entire body seized in the cold, and I could no longer feel the pain in the right side of my skull. I sank deeper and deeper in the water, wondering if drowning was better than being pulverized by a machine. I had no choice in the matter at this point, though. I just hope whatever comes after death is sweet. 

My last thoughts were questions: why? What had I done to deserve this? Adam, the perpetrator, sure, but Carson and Karmin—were they accomplices? Was this planned? Would I ever have the chance to see any of them again? Would I ever see _anyone_ again? 

* * *

When I first woke up, I thought I was dead. I felt warm, and dry, and full, and my thirst was quenched. It had been years since I had felt this way. I almost felt as if I could curl up with a cup of tea and listen to some soft music. The only thing that invaded my thoughts was that my head hurt a lot, so I figured I must’ve not drowned in the river. 

“Hey, Michael, the river kid is awake,” I heard a woman’s voice beckon. I felt a hand on my forehead before the same girl spoke. “It’s alright, man. You’ll be okay. Take your time.”

I slowly blinked my eyes open, but found I could only see out of my left one. My right one was completely dark. I recalled being hit by shrapnel when I had… oh, that’s… that’s right. That’s what happened. It took some time to remember, but I could see it all happen now. 

Adam. 

Why did he kick the ladder? I thought we had a deal? We’d all get over the Wall or none of us will? What if they had planned it out, to get rid of me? But Carson would never… would he? Carson wasn’t violent, per se, but he wasn’t a pacifist. I didn’t really want to think about it.

“You look upset,” the girl observed, “chill, man, we’re here to help you.” I met her gaze. Her hair was dark red and long, tied behind her head in a ponytail, and her cheeks were rosy compared to the rest of her pale skin. “We found you on the riverbanks a few days ago. Do you remember what happened?” I noticed a man walk up behind her, yet keep his distance, simply watching. I didn’t really like the eyes on me.

“Uhh… I was trying to get over the Wall. My other three buddies did, but… one of them kicked the ladder out and a surveyor almost got me,” I told her hesitantly, barely able to find my voice. My voice had always been pretty scratchy, but it was especially rough after my however long unconsciousness. 

“Damn. I know how you feel, to be used and then thrown away. How do you feel right now?” Well I wasn’t expecting a sudden bout of truth. 

“Head hurts,” I mumbled out, lying it back down on the pillow behind me. I gazed around the small room for a moment. It was lit by a few candles and a lantern, and the walls were wooden, as was the floor. It looked like an abandoned apartment building or hotel, which was common around here, though most of them were either infested or already had gangs in them. Gangs. Was this a gang? But they helped me, and that’s not typical. “Who are you?” I asked as soon as the thought struck me. 

“Me? I’m Roma. Kind of the mechanic of the group. This is Michael, here,” she explained, pointing at the man behind her. He continued to look me over silently, his dark gaze holding no emotion. “Back there is Todd and Jean, and then Anthony, Destiny, Sai, Leo, and Robbie are outside somewhere, I know Leo and Des went on a supply run earlier,” she continued kindly, gesturing to Todd and Jean, a man and woman, who were standing in the corner of the room whispering to each other. “What’s yours?”

“Isaac. Are you a gang of some sort?” 

“We like to call ourselves an organization, but I’m sure Michael will tell you more if he thinks you’re trustworthy. How old are you?”

“...Twenty something. Stopped counting after the government shut down the power. Twenty three maybe?” I was unable to even remember what month it was. Time was a myth around here. All we knew was day and night, hot and cold. It makes me feel almost… hopeless, when I think about it.

“Huh. Oh, right, I should mention your eye,” she bagan. She continued with such nonchalance that it almost irked me. “There was a piece of metal lodged in it, Todd cut it out.”

“ _What?_ ” 

“It was the only way to get it out. We didn’t want you to die.”

“So I have no eye now?” I asked bluntly, the shock still not subsiding. Guess I had the opportunity to wear a monocle if my vision ever degraded.

“That’s right. You’ll get used to it. Now, are you hungry? Thirsty?” She spoke with almost drunk kindness, a small smile on her face. “If you feel okay, I’m sure Michael would like to talk to you.”

“I feel… fine. Weird, I haven’t felt that way in a long time,” I told her, slowly pushing myself to sit up. I was sore and my head still hurt, but I was alive. Roma helped me stand, holding my arm gently as I gained my balance. 

“Oh, your things are in Sai’s workshop,” she mentioned quickly. “Well, we assume they’re yours. Some sort of wired gadgets or something? Those are all probably broken, but the pistol is fine,” she said, and I groaned. 

“Damn, those were my rewriting tools. I’ll have to make more.”

“What are they for?” The silent up until now Michael was the one who asked that. I met his gaze, his dark eyes cutting like knives into my soul. I immediately realized that he was not my favourite person here.

“Ever hear about how the electric barrier in town square killed a bunch of government officials even though it was programmed not to?”

“Yes? What about it?” He sounded impatient, but I’d take my time. 

“That was all me. Rewired the control panel and switched who was immune to it, then it killed the soldiers and let me walk right through it,” I explained, proud of my actions. It wasn’t like it was easy to get in there, pop open the control panel (which had been guarded, Karmin had to cause quite a distraction for me to have time to do everything,) then I had to rewire everything and hope to god it worked. Luckily, it did, and we managed to get into town square to scavenge. 

“That was you?!” Roma stepped back from me, leaving my own muscles to hold me up. For a moment I thought maybe my muscles would be completely rejuvenated and I’d have some meat on my torso from the apparent full stomach. 

“Impressive,” Michael agreed, and I felt like that was probably an accomplishment, to impress him. I noticed Todd and Jean walk over, curious about what was happening. Todd scratched his dark beard before holding his hand out to me. I shook it and he smiled slightly.

“As Roma said, I’m Todd. I take care of everyone here. Nice to meet you, Isaac.” He had the same coloured hair as mine, a lighter brown, but he managed to grow a full beard. I almost envied him for that, I always even the tiniest amount of facial hair. I always thought it was very attractive.

“Yeah, nice to meet you too. Thanks for not letting me die,” I chuckled slightly. I wasn’t the greatest at showing gratitude but I tried my best.

“It’s my job,” he mentioned. I looked over at the black haired girl next to him, and she waved slightly.

“I’m Jean,” she spoke quietly, and I nodded, unsure of what else to say. There was a bit of an air of awkwardness in the room. 

“Well, Isaac, why don’t you come with me? I’ll show you to where you’ll be staying and we’ll find your things. Hopefully by then Leo and Des will return from town,” Michael explained, brushing his very short, black hair back. He began walking away, and I quickly followed him, throwing a glance back at Roma, Todd, and Jean. My entire body ached as I walked down the stairs, trying to keep up with Michael. He stopped a few floors down, and I wondered how high up we were. There were only three rooms per floor, I noticed. It wasn’t a big establishment, whatever it was. 

“You’ll be staying in this room,” he began, “if you ever need anything, Roma’s room is across the hall, and Leo’s is right above you,” he explained, gesturing to the door that had a rusty number 7 on it. I peeked inside, finding it to not be that bad of a room. There was a bed and a dresser, which is more than you can usually find around here. I closed the door and looked back to Michael. 

“Is this a hotel?” I asked, and he nodded in response. “Where in town?” 

“We’re right on the coast. It’s a lot safer out here,” he told me. I looked over at him, completely baffled. Well, when I resent to look I noticed I had to turn my head a whole lot to catch him in my vision now. 

“How did I end up on the coast?” The nearest part of the Wall was a good 10 kilometres from here if not more. 

“Leo and Robbie found you when they were scavenging washed up on the riverbanks. They brought you back here, Leo’s orders.”

“Oh, I guess that makes a bit more sense,” I noted, and he led me down more flights of stairs. The lobby of the hotel was nothing special, and when we got outside, I found that the building was 6 storeys high. The sun was lower in the sky, causing the shadows of nearby buildings to elongate. The smell of saltwater attacked my nose, but I didn’t mind it. The sunlight bounced off the surface of the nearby ocean, beckoning us to try to escape that way. I could see the buoys out maybe 500 meters from shore, which would electrocute anyone who got close enough to them. I wondered for a moment if it was possible to siphon their energy but I don’t think it was worth trying. The horizon really was a pretty sight, compared to the rest of the grey, desolate, virus littered town. 

“There’s a tavern over there; that's where we eat,” Michael explained, gesturing to the building across the road. “And here’s Sai’s workshop.” He continued, leading me over to it. It was actually pretty big, holding an assortment of machines for building different things, but none were powered. On one of the desks I found my things, my hand immediately shooting towards a small, unrusted computer chip. I held it tight before throwing my dry jacket on and inspecting my rewriting tools after I put the chip in my pocket. Michael peered over my shoulder as I peeled the metal plate on top off. I poked my finger into the wiring, and it crumbled. 

“Yeah, they’re all ruined. I’ll have to make more,” I sighed, tossing it on the table far from gently. I picked my pistol up off the desk and inspected it for a moment. I popped the magazine out and found it fully loaded, which upset me. I pushed my thumb up against the back of the bullet at the top and it slipped out onto the desk. Michael watched with a frown as I unloaded the whole magazine minus one bullet. It didn’t really matter if the gun worked anymore, since I wouldn’t be using it, but I guess one bullet might save me from a robot. I’ll never shoot at something living, I promise myself that.

“So you’re quite the technician, huh?” Michael was near the large, open, garage door of the building. 

“I guess. I’ve just been trying to figure out the surveyors for a while. Could never get my hands on one, but if I did, us rebels would have way higher odds against the government,” I explained, scanning the room with my one eye. It was very strange to not be able to see with one of my eyes, but it wasn’t… awful. Not as bad as I thought, at least. 

“I suppose I should tell you what we are trying to do around here,” he started formally. “We want to overthrow the government and properly take care of the virus. From what we’ve heard you can do, you’d be a great asset,” he continued, pacing around the room. That, of course, was most people’s goal. If you weren’t a thief or a murderer, you’d like to get rid of the virus. “Say, were you the one to remove all citizen’s names from the databases?”

“That was me with a bit of help from some of my old university friends. Government can’t track any of us anymore,” I confirmed quietly. He knew the ending bit, but I felt sad at the thought of my old friends. We’d gone our separate ways after a while but I wondered if any of them made it out there.

“Incredible,” he awed, and I couldn’t help but feel good about myself. My heart jumped when I noticed someone standing in the doorway. His curly hair was a mess and his overcoat had sleeves that only came down to his elbows. He wore a pair of goggles on his forehead, the rims silver and the lenses translucent blue, probably keeping dust and sand out of his eyes, or possibly even for protection, lowering the chances of something carrying the virus scratching his eyes. 

“Uhh, Michael?” He asked awkwardly, never taking his gaze off me. Michael turned. 

“Ah, welcome back. How was your supply run?”

“Same as always. I had to kill a few of the Afflicted, though,” he explained quickly. He sounded upset that he had killed them, and I understood the conflict there. The Afflicted wanted to kill us, but we knew they were just normal people on the inside. 

“Damn,” Michael sighed, turning to me. “We’re trying not to harm the Afflicted. We hope to find a cure soon. Todd has been working on it for years.” 

“Is it going as planned?” I asked. 

“He’s a one man team so… no, not particularly. We’ll see sooner or later.”

“If you want to come see what we found, feel free to,” the boy in the doorway said before quickly leaving. I looked down and huffed a little breath out.

“Awesome. Didn’t even say ‘hi’.”

“Actually, He’s been really excited to meet you,” Michael claimed. “He was never good with words, and probably got scared. Why don’t you come meet the others, then ask him to show you around?” 

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

He led me out of the workshop and down to the bar, where there was quite the congregation. “Oh hey! Look who it is!” One girl piped up. Everyone got a bit quiet as she slid off and walked over to me, offering me her hand. I shook it, her fingerless gloves pressing against my palm. “The name’s Des. Nice to finally meet you.” She was quite beautiful for an apocalypse survivor. Long, brown hair; golden skin; a bright smile; a South American accent of some sorts. 

“Isaac,” I responded, a little nervous around the crowd. Others started jumping up to greet me. Next was a younger man with the reddest hair I’ve ever seen before. It looked like someone had attempted to shave the sides of his head short but it was clear their razors weren't very sharp. 

“Hello Isaac! I’m Robbie!” He seemed a little erratic with his movements which scared me at first. He was definitely not all the way there in his head, but he was being genuinely polite and I wouldn’t hold his mental state against him.

“Robbie and I scavenge and go on supply runs with Leo usually,” Des told me with a cheek to cheek smile. “Have you met him yet? Leo, I mean. He was stoked to meet you.”

“Was that-” I began, turning to look at Michael behind me. He nodded slightly. “Ah, well, Leo apparently didn’t really want to talk.”

“Oh boy, he was worried he’d do that. Don’t worry, he’ll talk soon enough.” Well, that was a nice thought, but I was a little put off now. I guess if he had good intentions it wouldn’t matter; he’d prove he was worth my time. 

“This is Anthony!” I jumped when Robbie shouted out, flailing his arms wildly towards a man standing around me. He was idky drying a whiskey glass with a small white cloth, but his gaze stayed on mine. He smiled and nodded, and I looked him over to remember to match the face and name. He was a bit heavyset, and his hair was black as coal. He had soft eyes, ones that said ‘caretaker’ better than most. Maybe that wasn’t true, but it’s what I felt. 

“My name is Sai,” another man greeted. I shook his outstretched hand and he had a rough handshake. Right, workshop man, I believe. I’d have to see what he was capable of, but my immediate thought was that the workshop didn’t have any impressive inventions in it. Not even a generator, but I guess those _were_ hard to find. 

“Nice to meet you all,” I said, noticing that was everyone. Roma was also here but I had already greeted her. So that’s… there’s Michael, Roma, Todd, Jen… no, Jean, Destiny, Robbie, Sai, and Anthony. Oh, and Leo. Him too. Nine was a decent number of people to have a group of. Not too many mouths to feed, everyone’s got a specialization hopefully, things like that. Better than four, better than a hundred.

“Anyways, Isaac, I suggest you head down to the coastline,” Michael told me. He gestured in the vague direction of where I should go. “You’ll probably find Leo down there.” I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of that, but oh well. I had to meet him eventually. I nodded slightly, pressing my lips together, and turned to leave the populated space. 

I liked the inside of these buildings here: clean, dry, and lit up as best they could be. Not to mention, the surrounding area was quite nice. It’s been maybe 10 years since I came down to the beach. The coast was more rocky than sandy, and I almost twisted my ankle a few times as I looked for the curly haired boy I’d been sent after. I eventually found him sitting in a sunny spot on a large rock that stretched out over the small waves that broke against the stones. His feet dangled dangerously close to the water like he didn’t fear wet sock; his untied shoelaces were already drenched. Mismatched, I noticed. One pair of grey converses had dull green laces that matched his overcoat and the other pair had black. 

“Hey,” he said when he heard my footsteps come up behind him.

“Hi,” I returned, and he turned to look up at me. 

“Oh, it’s you,” he noted as I sat next to him. The sun warmed me to the core. He scratched the back of his freckled neck awkwardly, his metal bracers wrapped around brown leather gloves shining in the sunlight. “What’re you doing out here?” 

“Looking for you,” I answered simply, sitting myself down next to him. I awkwardly tucked my long legs under myself but our knees were touching still. He didn’t seem to mind.

“Oh,” he uttered out. I watched as he pressed his lips together in thought. “Sorry, I’m not very good at introductions. My name’s Leo,” he finally said, making me relax a bit. He didn’t offer a hand, just the tiniest smile that made his eyes crinkle a bit. 

“No worries. I’m Isaac,” I smiled, hoping he’d relax too. 

“How’s your head?” He questioned after a moment. 

“Feeling better now. Still kind of weird, not being able to see with one eye,” I told him, trying to laugh a little bit. I had to turn my head all the way in order to see things that before only took a glance to see. I found it a bit obstructive, but it wasn’t killing me. He sat to my right so I didn’t have to strain to see him and the curls of his hair blowing in the sea breeze.

“I can imagine,” he sympathized, tapping the leather clad fingers of his right hand onto the metal guard along his left forearm. The guards went up to just below the elbow. It was important to cover a lot of your body nowadays, because the virus spreads by simple skin contact. Can’t even risk going in an abandoned building really.

“So you and Robbie found me in town?” The pauses between our words were a bit awkward but I felt like he was opening up a bit. I felt a shiver go up my spine at the memory of how cold the water in the river was. 

“Yeah, you were pretty beaten up. I mean, your eye and stuff.”

“Why’d you bring me back with you? I could’ve had the virus. I _could_ have the virus and I just don’t know it.” My heart stopped at the sudden thought, but Leo just shrugged.

“You don’t, Todd did tests. And it was me who convinced Robbie to bring you back. You were still breathing, and if we didn’t help you, the Afflicted would’ve eaten you alive. If they didn’t get to you, the government would have and last thing you want is to be put in a quarantine zone. No one should go through that,” he explained, reaching up to push his metal goggles up further on his forehead. There were two extra lenses hanging off of them, for magnification of some sort. He probably didn’t use it much. “Plus, from what I overheard, you’ve got quite the accomplishment under your belt, crashing the databases and all,” he noted afterwards. He was clearly letting his guard down a little bit, allowing his words to flow more smoothly; a little less like the waves breaking against the rock below us and a little more like a river.

“Oh. Well, I don’t really think I can say anything other than thank you,” I responded quietly, turning my gaze to the setting sun. It was starting to get a bit cooler outside. 

“So what other talents do you have, other than hacking government computers? Do anything else notable?” He asked. Based on those simple words of ‘hacking government computers’ I figured he didn’t know much about hacking. Or computers for that matter. That’s okay, maybe I could teach him someday. 

I proceeded to tell him about how I rewired the electric barrier in town square, which he thought was amazing, and how I’ve been trying to get my hands on a surveyor to do research. “Wow, that’s… amazing! Incredible, even! You’re really something, huh?” His voice was filled with awe. I swear there was a sparkle in his green eyes as he looked at me. It was a green I hadn’t seen before, I don’t think. Forest green, maybe, but I think I’ve only been walking through a forest once or twice. Mum and dad weren’t very concerned about taking me to see nature as a kid and school and work took up my life afterwards.

After a few minutes of talking followed by a short silence, I noticed a quiet _tick tick tick_.

“Do you hear that?” He tilted his head, raising an eyebrow. 

“Hear what?”

“The ticking,” I specified, and he listened for a moment.

“Oh,” he began, reaching into the pocket of his dull, dark green overcoat. Upon returning his hand, he held it palm down towards me, so I held my hand out and he placed something cold and metal in it. It was a pocket watch. I honestly didn’t even think they existed anymore. I watched as the second hand ticked by, then realized that it was 10:43. That’s the first time I’ve seen a working clock in the three years since the power plants, both nuclear and incinerators, shut down. I flipped the silver watch over and looked at the back. The words _For Stanley Smith_ were engraved in the metal, followed by the numbers _1963._

“Holy shit, this watch is almost 200 years old!” That was astonishing to me. There were rocks on this beach older than 2000 years but this? This is technology. Old technology, but good technology. It was beautifully crafted. “Or, I think so. It might be 200 by now,” I continued, unsure of what year it was. 

“It’s ‘57,” he mentioned, taking the watch back. 

“It’s already been that long? God, I’m getting old,” I chuckled, though there was a sinking feeling in my chest at the loss of time. If it was 2157, I’m either 25 or 26. Since it’s autumn, it should be 26. I met Leo’s gaze. “Why are you keeping track of time?”

“Why not? The rest of the world is still using clocks, why shouldn’t we? Besides, even though I don’t know the exact date, I still like to know how long it’s been since this all happened.”

“Can’t believe it’s been 4 years already.”

“And 3 without power,” he added. I knew that obviously, but really. It took saying it to think it could possibly be true.

“Say, how do you count the years?” I asked curiously. I shifted, trying to get deeper in my jacket since, now that the sun was below the horizon, it was getting pretty chilly. 

“How? The soldiers throw New Year’s parties,” he explained simply. 

“But… doesn’t keeping track of time make you wonder how much longer we have to deal with all of this? How much time we’ve wasted?” All of this was bothering me. I lost _everything_ because of this stupid virus. 

Don’t be selfish, Isaac. So has everyone else. Be better.

Leo shifted so he could face me fully. “You don’t know it yet, but we’re _this_ close to having normal lives again. Todd is working on a cure, Sai is working on making incinerators for the already deceased, and now we have you! If you can do what you want to with the surveyors, we can overthrow the government!” He was almost somewhat irritated in a way, but also ecstatic. “You’re the last piece of the puzzle, and you just don’t know it.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. The look on his face told me that he truly believed what he just said. Yes, I wanted to live the life I had before, but I don’t want to be so involved. If I fail, it’ll all come crumbling away. I mean, I _am_ proud of what I’ve done technology-wise, but what if I can’t do enough to make these guys happy? What if they don’t want me because I’m not up to their expectations? They think I can do more than I can and they haven’t even seen me work yet. I didn’t look at Leo as I stood up. 

“I’m going to go see if I’m needed elsewhere,” I said as I walked away. I felt kind of bad for leaving Leo, but I couldn’t stand the pressure. I know he meant well by it all, and he really is a good guy as far as I’m aware, but I continued to walk away anyways. I went over to Sai’s workshop and entered through the open garage door, knocking on the wall as I entered. Sai turned around once he heard the noise. 

“Hey, Isaac. How’re you feeling?” He looked up from a rough blueprint which was illuminated by a lantern. Similar lanterns scattered the dark room. 

“Eh, could be better,” I told him as I walked over to the desk that had my broken rewriting tools on it. My headache hadn’t resided yet, and I was still all mixed up because of what Leo had said. Without turning my gaze away from the metal device in my hands, I began speaking. “Do you happen to have copper wiring, wire casing, sheet metal, and an unused or broken computer?” I pulled off the top panel of the rewriting tool. 

“Yeah, I should, let me go look.” The dark haired man stood up from the desk across from the room and walked up the metal fight of stairs in the corner, towards the top level. I pulled the motherboard off the rewriter and inspected it closely after pulling the rusted wires off of it. Parts of it were also rusting—it was garbage. I slid the whole hunk of metal across the table and searched around the room for screws, a screwdriver, and a small, battery powered sautering tool I prayed worked. After Sai returned with everything I had requested, he helped me find a sauterer and I finally sat down to begin working. I knew how to make one of these things like the back of my hand. 

“Mind if I watch?” He spoke so kindly and softly, even less than Leo, but words aren’t always needed. Sometimes they’re as pointless as an echo.

“Yeah, sure, pull up a chair,” I smiled, and he sat quietly next to me while I worked away, trying my hardest to focus through my headache. It was also a lot harder to see when missing an eye. I mean I should’ve expected that, but the lack of depth perception was odd. I don’t think the shock of losing my eye had passed yet. 

Sai rarely asked questions, but most of them involved what I was doing at that exact moment. After I finished the framework and all the wires were sautered together and the motherboard was attached securely, I reached into my pocket and found the precious little chip in my pocket. 

“What’s that?” Sai asked curiously as I slot the computer chip into the motherboard.

“It has my program on it. I designed it before we lost electricity. Basically it transfers onto the motherboard, and then the motherboard, when connected to something else, transfers the program to the device, overriding the original program and, even if my program doesn’t work, it’s deleted the original so it’s basically useless,” I explained in layman’s terms as I removed the chip from the motherboard and set it back on the table. 

“Wow. How did you come up with this?” 

“Went to college for it. Well, for three years. Then all hell broke loose and I couldn’t keep going. Not that I really needed it, but if the city ever gets fixed, I won’t have a diploma. Guess I’m just kind of screwed,” I chuckled. _Like the city will get fixed in my lifetime_.

“I’m sure anyone would hire you anyways. Besides, if it doesn’t work out, you can always try something else,” he tried, and I raised an eyebrow. 

“What kind of job can I get that pays higher than a programmer? They don’t just hand those jobs out, y’know.”

“I mean, you could always be Leo’s bitch,” he laughed. 

“What?”

“He always says he’s going to be a billionaire and treat his partner to fancy dinners every night, spoil ‘em rotten, give ‘em all the money in the world, move to Paris, all of that. Also detailed quite the sex life one time when he’d had too much whiskey,” the man chuckled. 

“Damn. Yeah, being Leo’s bitch might be nice on the strange happening of him becoming a millionaire.”

“Oh, trust me, he’s going to have money when the economy rises again.” He assured me. 

“What from?”

“Not my place to tell you. He’ll let you know eventually,” Sai chuckled.

“Okay…?” I looked back down at my rewriting tool. “Well, this is done. Have anywhere you can keep it? Oh, and also, could you bring me a plastic container or something for the microchip?” I handed him the small device. It fit in his palm. 

“Yes and yes. You can put anything you make in this metal cabinet here,” he said, gesturing to the cabinet at the end of the room. “And I’ll go get you a container,” he continued, setting the rewriter in the cabinet before going back up the metal stairs. I sat in silence, fiddling with the microchip between my fingers, unsure of whether or not I should go to bed or make another rewriting tool. My thoughts got cut off quickly, though. 

“You wanna be my bitch, huh?” As soon as I whipped around in surprise, I found that it was Leo standing in the garage door opening.

“God, don’t do that!” My heart was in my throat because of how much he had scared me. “You really like eavesdropping, don’t you?” That came out as quite the growl, and I kept sharp eye contact with him.

“Sorry,” he said quietly, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s a bit of a habit. I didn’t mean to scare you, either.”

“How long have you been standing there?” 

“You said something about not getting all the way through college because of the virus,” he told me, stepping into the workshop. 

“You could’ve, y’know, made yourself known? I wouldn’t have minded talking directly to you.” 

He sighed, and it almost sounded sad. “Look, I just came to return this. You left it on the shoreline,” he explained, handing me the pistol with a single bullet in it. My free hand shot to my belt and I realized that my gun wasn’t there, and I _had_ lost it. And here Leo was, handing me the means to end a life. Made me like him a little less even though I knew he meant well. “I’m sure Roma can make you a holster for it,” he mentioned quietly. 

“I’ll look into it,” I responded simply, making a slight clicking noise with my tongue. “Need anything else? Or can I just go to bed?” 

He sighed again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for… ruining everything about today between you and I. I was never good with people, and… I don’t know. I think you’re really amazing, so I hope you’ll just forget today happened and I can try again,” he spoke quickly, but I could tell he was being sincere. Our eyes met, and his breath hitched a bit for some reason, but then he looked down and walked away, back to the hotel. 

I waited a few more minutes in silence until Sai came back downstairs and handed me a small container with a snap-on lid. We spoke a bit before I put the container holding my computer chip in my pocket, returned my gun to my belt, and went off to bed. Despite not being tired, I felt like maybe sleeping would get rid of my headache. I found that everyone else was either in their rooms or asleep, so I quietly went to my new room and felt warm inside, a stark contrast to the rest of my whole life.

These people don’t even know me and yet they’re giving me so much. Sure, Leo and I hadn’t gotten off on the right foot, and Michael didn’t seem to like me much, but otherwise? This was nice.

I climbed into bed and fell asleep in the softness, not at all worried about the three people who left me behind only days ago. I’m way better off here than outside.


	2. A Tale of Two Morons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was edited on February 14th, 2021. Chapter 3 will be edited soon!

_ Leo Smith, autumn 2157. _

I woke up to the same thing I always wake up to: Anthony yelling “breakfast’s ready!” up the stairs. I lazily dragged myself out of bed, glanced out the window to see that it was cloudy today, got dressed, pulled a razor across my jaw and chin quickly, and headed down the stairs. Today was the day I was supposed to go request things from my contact. He’ll get me anything I need, so long as it’s reasonable.

When I got down only one flight of stairs, I found a very obviously in pain Isaac leaning against the doorframe to his room and holding his head. “Hey, are you okay?” Panic rose in me. The last thing I wanted was him to  _ still  _ be hurting. He’d been so beat there’d when Robbie and I had first found him, and that was enough. Now the world was just being unfair to him. I rested my hand against his back.

“Fuck, my head hurts so much,” he groaned. He grabbed onto my forearm, his fingers cold to the touch. I led him back into his room and sat him on the edge of his bed. He sniffled and it broke my heart a little bit. That was a new feeling. Was I really  _ that _ worried about this guy? He didn’t even like me. 

“You wait here, I’ll go get Todd,” I promised him, zipping out of the room and down the stairs. I found Todd standing in the lobby, speaking to his wife. 

“Todd,” I said, out of breath, “there’s something wrong with Isaac, go check on him.” With a nod and no words, he passed me and jogged up the stairs. I knew better than to bother Todd any more than that, so I walked out to the bar across the abandoned street where we always eat. Jean followed me. In the distance, between a few buildings, I could see a stack of black smoke rising through the air—a fire most likely set by the Anarchists, a group that’s headquarters are nearby. I was buddies with their leader; we’d had a bit of a past.

“Todd was worried Isaac wasn’t going to be completely okay yet. Still going through the shock of losing his eye,” Jean mentioned as we walked across the abandoned street. 

“He’ll be okay though, right?” I kinda hated the worry lacing my words. I wasn’t exactly sure  _ why _ I was so worried, but I was. 

“Of course. Todd knows what he’s doing,” she assured. “I noticed that you seem to like having him around. Isaac, I mean. You wouldn’t stop talking about him last night at dinner.”

“How could I not?” I chuckled a bit, my concern residing slightly. “He’s so smart! And, I mean, he seemed so interested in not only robots, but my old watch and stuff. I don’t know, I liked talking to him, at least when he was happy,” I continued, and she looked at me with an eyebrow raised. I tried to forget about how awful yesterday went, and hoped that Isaac would try to forget too. I really wanted to have a chance with him. And I can’t lie, when I was accidentally eavesdropping on him and Sai last night and Isaac said that being with me might be nice (which I know was a joke,) my heart skipped a few beats. I was almost worried Todd would have to resurrect me… no, that’s not the word; resuscitate. It’s just been so long since I felt attached to someone like this. People in my business shouldn’t feel compassion. That’s just how it is. 

I ate breakfast, simple oatmeal like always. We weren’t picky, and we had tons of it. My contact hooks us up with supplies they get from the outside. I know, sounds crazy—that someone could escape to the outside—but he knows a soldier who’s quite the rebel. 

Anthony asked where Isaac was, so I simply replied with ‘not feeling well’. When I was done eating, I got a tap on the shoulder from Michael. “Hey,” I greeted, sliding my empty bowl across the bar and Anthony grabbed it. 

“You’re going out today, correct?” I nodded, so he continued. “Go ask Isaac and Todd if they need anything. They’re in the infirmary.” 

“Oh no, is Isaac feeling that bad?”

“A mix between earlier problems and eye strain,” he said, handing me a written note. “Or so Todd says. He seemed fine yesterday.” Of course he was going to say something like that, he was always so cautious around new people. The note he had given me had a list of things I was supposed to get, things like matches, salt, sugar, and laundry detergent. On the other side of the page was a print out of a propaganda poster encouraging citizens to report any infected persons. Of course, this was years old at this point. Nobody followed what the government wanted anyways. We all knew what would happen to the people who got sick if the soldiers found them. “It’s showing them mercy,” apparently. 

“Okay, let me go check on them,” I dismissed, standing up and putting the paper in my pocket. It slid in next to my watch. “Robbie, Des, we’re leaving in 5 minutes; meet me at the east gate,” I continued, and both of them nodded.

I left the building and returned to the hotel, going all the way up the stairs to the ‘infirmary’. It was the best we had; a hotel room retrofitted to be a little medical bay. I knocked quietly on the door and opened it slowly to see Isaac sitting on the side of one of the beds and Todd in front of him.

“Yes?” Todd asked, not turning around as he did whatever with Isaac. 

“I’m meeting up with my contact. Need anything?” Todd put a pair of metal tweezers down on a metal tray and turned to me. I swallowed a bit at the sight of the bloody torture device. He turned and moved away from Isaac a few steps, revealing to me the gaping hole in Isaac’s head. 

“Oh, shit,” I mumbled, and Isaac, who didn’t look as in pain as earlier, chuckled. 

“I know, right? Horrific.”

“I wouldn’t say that…” I trailed off. No, he could never look horrific. It wasn’t possible. If anything, the missing eye made him look more… serious? Dangerous? Hotter, I was sure of that.

“If you could bring back some painkillers, that would be great,” Todd finally said. “Isaac, do you need anything?”

“Yeah, I can get you just about anything,” I added, dropping my hands into my pockets and rolling my shoulders back, trying to seem confident. 

“Anything?”

“Anything from inside the Wall or out.”

“Hmm… well, a will to live would be cool,” he chuckled, “but is it possible to get me any kind of computer? Or even just some motherboards, I don't need the full computer.”

“Motherboards? I’m sure I can figure something out. Is that all?” I continued. 

“Yeah, that’s all for me,” Isaac concluded, and Todd nodded too. 

“Do you have a pen I could borrow?” I requested. Todd looked around before grabbing one off a desk and handing it to me. I quickly wrote down ‘painkillers’, but when I went to write down ‘motherboards’, my brain malfunctioned and I wrote ‘Isaac’ instead. I quickly scratched it out and wrote the word I meant, my face hot, before handing Todd his pen back. I turned around and began walking out of the room. 

“Hope you start feeling better,” I told Isaac quickly, trying to leave; to get the hell away from him before something went wrong.

“Stay safe, Leo,” he mentioned in that soft, slightly gravelly voice of his, and my heart jumped into my throat at the sound of my name. I nodded quickly before closing the door behind me. 

When the door shut, I leaned against it for a moment, looking at my list. My eyes scanned across the page until I paused at the scribbled out name. I reached up with my free hand and scratched at the blob of dry ink, wishing I could scratch it off and repair the name I had destroyed. I wanted to see the way it was written out again - the I attached to the S, the twin A’s, the loop of the C… 

I folded the paper quickly, shoved it in my pocket, and walked down the stairs.  _ Don’t be weird, Leo. That’s creepy.  _

After a quick pit stop in my room to grab my gloves and goggles, I made my way outside and to the east gate, reaching into my coat and checking an interior pocket for the keys to the gate. Like always, the keys were there, sliding between my fingers like the chain attached to my pocket watch. There are three sets of keys in this… ‘sanctuary’. I have one, Michael has one, and Todd has one. From what I heard, there’s a fourth set of keys somewhere in the hotel under Michael’s supervision, but I don’t know why he hasn’t given it to someone yet. Hey, his decisions are not mine to judge. Right now, I have to focus on the two people standing in front of me. 

“You said five minutes, Leo. It’s been at least ten,” Destiny complained from where she was sitting on the ground, back against the thick, iron gate. 

“Oh, please. Don’t complain or he’ll leave you behind,” Robbie defended, tapping the girl on the head with the end of his (hopefully not cocked,) revolver. 

“Watch it, man!” She held her knife up to the red haired, manic boy. Robbie, being as unhinged as he is, laughed that evil laugh. Sure, he’s crazy, but he’s loyal and can be reasonable at times. Strong, too. 

Des, putting her knife back on her belt, handed me the big gun beside her. I had been using this sweet old T91 assault rifle since the beginning of all of this mess, and had gotten pretty skilled with it. I put the strap over my shoulder and nodded to my two friends. 

“Well, let’s go then. No sense in waiting, I don’t know how long it’ll take Mark’s men to find everything we need. I mean, when was the last time you saw a computer?” I unlocked the gate that Des had been leaning against. I had already promised myself that I would get those computer parts for Isaac, and didn’t plan on letting him down. I just… can’t. I have this new problem. I shouldn’t feel this way about someone I just met, so why the hell do I want to hold him in my arms, play with his hair, and make him smile despite his condition? Fuck, I want to kiss him. I’ll never admit it, but I really do. My first instinct was to fuck him, but that was always my frist instinct. The smaller things were what were new to me. 

“Leo?” Destiny knocked me out of my thoughts. I noticed both her and Robbie standing quite a ways down the alleyway. “You okay man?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I assured her, closing the metal gate behind me and locking it. I unconsciously pulled my goggles down over my eyes, tinting the world blue. When I caught up to them, I noticed both of their gazes trained on me. “What?”

“Your face is red. Are you feeling alright?” Robbie’s golden heart was shining through his muddled brain. He was a good guy. I was glad I brought him back here when I found him out past the Anarchists’ base.

“I said I’m _ fine, _ ” I insisted, a bit irritated and embarrassed at the same time. I was  _ not  _ about to admit I’m possibly head over heels for some guy.

“It’s the new boy, isn’t it? I’ve noticed you’re kind of weird when people mention him. Haven’t seen you talk to him much yet.”

“I’ve been trying to,” I mentioned, sliding my hands into my pockets. I toyed with the chain of my pocket watch, a nervous habit of mine. 

“Ah, so it  _ is _ the new boy,” Des cut in, and I immediately noticed my mistake. “What was his name again? Zack?”

“It’s ‘Isaac’. His name is ‘Isaac’,” I corrected, being sure to  _ not  _ pronounce it like ‘zack’, but ‘zic’. That’s how he said it. I adored the way he said it, to be honest. I liked the way he said all his words. Maybe that’s just his voice. Phrases like “it’s almost 200 years old!” and “I’m feeling better now” were stuck in my head. 

Not to mention the simple melody of him saying my name,  _ “Stay safe, Leo.”  _ He punctuated it perfectly. He said it differently than everyone else, yet it was normal. It’s like he adds a hidden ‘h’ to the end, but I couldn’t detect any distinct accent. I could barely notice the blip itself. 

“Jesus, Leo, you seem to like thinking about him,” Robbie teased. I shook my head, squeezed my hands into fists in my pockets, and walked down the alleyway, not checking to make sure Des and Robbie were following. My coping mechanisms may not be the healthiest, but they worked for me. 

The whole way through town I stayed silent, actually listening for danger, but my two companions whispered behind me. I heard my name tossed around a few times, not getting that same edge as I did when Isaac had said it. Eventually I got sick of it and I spun on the heels of my falling apart shoes.

“I can hear you, y’know? Look, you know I’m bad with people,” I continued, trying to calm myself down. “When Isaac and I first talked, I kind of screwed it up. It’s just weighing on me. I don’t want him to hate me because I’m such an asshole all the fucking time.”

“Aw, come on pal,” Robbie said, patting my back. “Just be yourself around him. I mean, I don’t know what you see in him, but you might as well give it a shot.”

“I don’t feel like that towards him,” I lied. Maybe they could tell it was a lie, but it didn’t matter. They shut up anyways. 

The topic at hand fluttered away in the wind as we heard a scream from a nearby alleyway. I raised my gun, taking quick steps back. “Afflicted,” Destiny mentioned quickly, pointing her revolver at the dark alley. Out the poor soul stumbled, open sores covering their body and the rags of their remaining clothes falling off their back. 

“Oh, they’re a young one,” Robbie sighed sadly and I lowered my gun, continuing to retreat. 

“That’s a stage three right there,” I noted, the cuts on their body oozing a dark sludge and the skin being a sickly yellow indicating that it had been an awfully long time. The person who was once just like all of us screeched again, liquid bubbling up in their throat. Their jaw hung, dislocated, and it made bile rise up in my throat. I hoped that they couldn’t feel it.

“Alright, let’s run,” Des decided, lowering her gun and taking off down the street. I slung my gun over my shoulder and followed her, Robbie close behind. Just down the road was a blockade of long abandoned cars stacked between the tall townhouses lining the roads, so we had to climb over a few and hope to whatever god might be out there that we didn’t get cut on a rusty spike of something. I pulled Des up onto a van and the Afflicted ran towards us, still shrieking. 

“Robbie, hurry up,” I urged as Des climbed up next to me. He jumped up onto a car and tossed a glance behind him at the Afflicted. “Robbie!”

“Right, coming,” he said, snapping back into his head and reaching up to grab my hand. I wrapped my gloved fingers around his forearm and hauled him up, hoping his stomach wasn’t touching the metal door of the van. Des grabbed him by his blue hood and pulled him the rest of the way up, and he pushed himself to stand. “I’m so sorry,” he told the person below. He turned and jumped off to the other side of the blockade and Des and I joined him. We didn’t talk about the poor, suffering soul back there as we continued down the road. 

As we walked, the city's announcement system went off, like it did everyday. “Attention citizens of Norton. Report any sicknesses to government officials or face termination. Everyone must sign in at their quarantine zone every night; those who do not comply with city guard’s orders will be terminated.” That alert had been going off for years at this point, never been changed. We knew that we’d be killed anyways, especially since we’d been hiding since the beginning. Hell, we harboured a sick person once… she’s long since gone now, told me to end it before she turned. I didn’t like thinking about it. 

Another silly thing about that announcement: people who were in quarantine zones  _ never  _ came out. I doubt it was by choice. I don’t know what the military is up to in the zones, but I don’t trust them. I heard there was a group out past the Anarchists’ that had escaped from Union QZ, but they were all insane in every meaning of the definition.

When we reached a once abandoned factory on King Street, I turned to the two following me. “You know the drill, wait out here,” I told them as I entered the building. It was nice to be out of their view for once. When I reached the next metal door just down the hallway made of floorboards, I knocked three hard times. 

“Name?” A voice reached through the door. 

“Leo James Smith,” I answered immediately. He continued on with his security questions.

“What’s your favourite colour?” I know, it sounds weird, but it works. 

“Blue… wait, no, green,” I responded. That was the exact answer we were to give. Well, no, we’re supposed to say one colour, then say we meant to say a different colour, one specific to each of us. It’s so nobody who overhears can figure out the direct password. 

“Welcome back, boss,” the man greeted as he opened the door. I didn’t recognize him, but I didn’t care to know who he was. I didn’t know 90% of the people here, yet they all know me. I walked across the metal platform just outside the door and looked out over the large, open room. 

“Mark’s in his office. Actually wants you to see something,” a girl said from where she was sitting on a railing along the edge of the stairs. I nodded slightly and went directly to my buddy Mark Rainn, who I’d known for quite a few years. Met him when I first joined the Syndicate when I was… oh, maybe 16 or 17; he showed me the ropes and soon enough I was one of the best thieves in the place.

When I got into the ‘office’ in the run down factory gutted of all its machinery, I found Mark with his head on the desk. “I heard you wanted me to see something?” He lifted his head up and studied me for a moment before nodding. He’d trimmed his beard since I last saw him a few weeks ago, but it suited him shorter. I had debated growing out a beard but I kind of enjoyed shaving in the mornings. I liked the routine of it. 

“Yes, come look,” he said simply, beckoning me over and reaching into a drawer behind him. He sat a coin on the desk. Looked really old, beginning to rust in some places. “Someone said this was some kind of currency from a hundred years ago. Called it a ‘toonie’, whatever that is. What’s it made of? Is it worth anything?” I picked the coin up, reaching up with my free hand to flip down the low power magnifying lens on my goggles. I look at the metal closely, trying to read some inscriptions through the dirt and rust. I’d had a fair few run-ins with coins before as stolen antiques to pawn off, but I didn’t recognize the name toonie. Can only imagine it’s worth 2 dollars. 

“Says 2019 on it. So it’s… 130-something years old?” I ran my finger around the bumpy edge of the coin. “It looks like it’s made of nickel. Maybe some bronze. There’s a bear on one side and… says this is Queen Elizabeth the second on the other side. Hmm. I really don’t know its worth now. I mean, it was once 2 dollars. It’s gotta be worth more than that now,” I continued, handing the coin back and flipping the magnifying lens away from my eye. “I suggest keeping it for now.”

“Thank you. Now, did you bring your list?” I dug in my pocket to hand him the slip of paper. He looked it over slowly, frowning as he tried to decipher my writing. He was used to it now, and he’d finally stopped teasing me about it . “Computer chips?” 

“Those are important, we need a few,” I insisted, and he nodded slightly. 

“I’ll figure it out. Who’s Isaac?” He pointed at the scratched out name. “It’s crossed out on the paper.”

“Oh. Isaac. Right, uhh, he’s a new member of our group. Actually, I want you to put some tabs on him. Hair a bit lighter than mine, missing eye, taller than me,” I described, and he nodded. I really could’ve kept describing him, going on about how nice of a colour his eye is, how handsome he is despite his scars, how nice his ass looks in those tight jeans of his, and his gravelly yet melodic voice that cut deep into my soul and lit a fire inside me. I bet his skin was soft and his hair the perfect length to wrap around my fingers. His nails were bitten short, I had noticed, but it I’m sure they’d feel nice scratching my scalp and shoulders.

I glanced back up at Mark and my nice thoughts fell away. I pulled my shirt down and put my hands in my overcoat’s pockets, pushing my hands in front of my lap. I’m sure I was a little red but I’d blame it on the chilly air.

“I’ll get the info around,” he agreed, handing the list to me, “and all of this looks attainable to me. Go get Carl to set out for his contact.”

I took the paper and walked out of the room without another word, shifting my gun on my shoulder. The weight of it made me feel a lot safer. I looked over the metal railing of the balcony that overlooked the place where all the other gang members stayed. 

“Alright, I need Carl Weekes over here!” When the man, who wasn’t all that important in my eyes, joined me, I handed him my list. “I’ll be back in three days. Don’t let me down,” I concluded, walking away silently. I just wanted to get back to the camp and talk to Isaac. When I got out of the factory, I found Robbie and Des exactly where I left them. 

“Everything went well?” Des looked up from where she’d sat down against the wall of the factory. 

“Yep. We’ll come back in three days. Now let’s go back home, I just need a break,” I sighed, helping the girl stand up. I turned my gaze to Robbie, who was staring into the sky. “Robbie?” He didn’t move, so I looked over at Des. “Is he okay?”

“He uhm… went on a little rant…?”  _ What? You never act like this. What did I do this time? _

__ “A rant about what?” 

“Just about… well, he doesn’t want you to be let down if Isaac doesn’t want to be around you,” she explained. My heart sank in my chest. 

“Oh. Well, uh, Robbie, I won’t be let down,” I lied. Hopefully that wasn’t obvious but I’m sure it was. “I understand if he doesn’t like me,” I continued. That part was true. He looked down from the sky and met my gaze. 

“Don’t fall in love. You’ll be used,” he warned, turning his deep, green eyes towards me to stare straight through me. 

“I’m not going to fall in love with him! God, get it through your thick skulls,” I groaned, shifting my gun on my shoulder again and walking down the street, keeping close to the walls of the buildings. I honest to god believed that. I’d never actually  _ loved  _ anyone before I don’t think. “I just want to fuck him, that’s all.”

“Leo! Come on man, listen to me!” Robbie’s pleads were ignored as he ran after me. I heard Des follow behind him. 

“ _ What _ ?” I sighed out, not stopping my quick pace. 

“Who’s more important? You, or some guy you just met?”

“Everyone’s more important than me,” I answered honestly. I really do think that’s true. Everything I do is for everyone else, so why would I ever call myself important? Nothing overly bad would happen if I were to drop dead. I mean, the group would still have access to my contacts, and that’s the one good thing about me. 

“Alright, how about this: Des or new boy?” 

“Des, obviously. And his name is Isaac, not ‘new boy’ or ‘some guy’,” I defended. Yes, Des is more important to me than Isaac. Everyone in the camp is. But that doesn’t mean I can’t care about him. 

“You’re definitely into him,” Des mentioned from behind us. I spun on my heels to walk backwards. 

“Maybe I am, and so what? I’m not allowed to be attracted to someone? Is it just because the world is ending? It’s better than meeting someone on a dating app; I actually know him,” I admitted. They were both silent for a moment as we walked through the empty streets. I turned to walk forwards again, scanning the streets quickly to make sure we were alone. I was just tired of this. Made me wish I wasn’t into Isaac. 

“You’re right. We’re getting too involved. Go for him, man,” Des encouraged, surprising me. I looked over my shoulder at her. 

“Really?” I uttered out, and she nodded, smiling. 

“Yeah, be as distracted as you want. Well, maybe protect us, but you can plan your night out,” she joked, winking at me. Robbie was silent; it was hard to change his mind over anything. I rolled my eyes and looked forwards again, really thankful that she at least understood and was giving me my own choice. This was no different than my last girlfriend, Billie. Well, I’d probably like Isaac better anyways. 

As we walked through the city, my thoughts  _ did _ wander a bit. I planned that tonight I wouldn’t eavesdrop on Isaac at all, and would maybe try to flirt a bit if he wasn’t completely put off by me. Ask him for a night together if I could pull up some confidence. It would probably all backfire but oh well.

On our way back to camp, we ran into another one of the Afflicted, which we promptly ran away from because we refused to pop a cap in the poor soul. This one was newly infected, but they were already beginning to lose themselves. Other than that, we didn’t find anyone on the streets thankfully. 

Once we got back to our camp, I told Michael that our supplies were being collected and that I would go get everything in three days, then went up to my room for a few minutes. I put my gun next to my dresser and looked in the mirror for a moment. When looking at my reflection, I realized that the world was still tinted blue and I lifted my goggles up onto my forehead. I fixed my curly mass of hair as best I could and gazed at my freckled cheeks. I rubbed my cheek with one of my knuckles, silently wishing my freckles would disappear. Of course, they didn’t. I’m stuck with them forever. Wish they weren’t so… rare, I guess, nowadays. Apparently they were pretty common no more than a few hundred years ago. 

I took a step back from the mirror and looked myself over, noticing the prominent bulge in my jeans. I sighed.  _ Don’t need anyone seeing that, especially Isaac.  _ I locked my door and dropped myself onto my bed, getting comfortably situated between pillows. I pulled my gauntlets off and rubbed the skin just above my elbows, where a rash had formed. Nickel tended to do that to me, but I was used to it.

I brought a hand down and pressed my palm against my dick that was fighting against the taught fabric of my jeans, and just that simple contact made me hum out a little mumble. I took a deep breath and unhooked the button, slipping my hand under my clothes and pulling my rock hard dick out. I squeezed it once before bringing my hand up and spitting on it, using it as temporary lube since I didn’t happen to have any anymore. I gave myself a few strokes and leaned my head back into my headboard, knocking my skull against the wood. 

I let my mind wander, and it took no time at all for my thoughts to centre on Isaac. To have him on his knees between my legs, his warm mouth around my cock. I’d have my hands in his hair, curling my fingers into it and scratching his scalp, getting small little hums from him - hums that go straight to my dick and up my spine. He’d look up at me with that pretty eye of his and pull his head up off my dick, taking a few breaths. I paused my hand and took a breath myself before continuing to get myself off at a fast pace. My imagination wished they weren’t my own hands, that they were Isaac’s, of course, and he had leaned up to share a hot kiss with me, one full of tongue and drool. He’s whispering to me, telling me he wants something for himself, and fuck, I can’t say no, I want him to feel satisfied as much as me. 

I rolled myself over in bed so I could sit on my knees, trying to picture myself pinning Isaac down with my free hand, getting him on his back below me. A half lidded eye the colour of the deepest depths of the earth stared up at me and he’s got a cocky smile on his face, one that says ‘oh, I’ve won this time,’ better than words. I forgot about the fundamentals of sex, that it hurts like a bitch and can be uncomfortable at times, that emotions are so important in a situation like this, and skipped right to the thoughts of me fucking that sexy bastard down into the mattress. My hand definitely wasn’t even comparable to having actual sex but it would have to do. It’s been a while since I had actual sex anyways, I’d gotten used to this. 

I rolled back onto my back and rolled my shirt up, taking the hem of the fabric between my teeth. I spaced out, my thoughts drifting into nothingness, just completely focused on my feelings at the moment. My thighs twitched as I reached my climax, shooting my load onto my stomach and chest. I sighed a long sigh and took a moment to gather myself, letting go of my dick. I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed a tissue out of my Kleenex box and wiped my chest off. I tossed the tissues into the trash can next to my bed and stuffed my dick into my jeans again, pushing myself up out of bed and trying to flatten out my clothes. I pulled my gauntlets back on out of habit and tried to fix my hair, even though it looked the same as it always did—a fucking disaster of curls. Lots of people I’ve known have said they were cute though, so I didn’t mind much. Maybe Isaac would like them too.

I sighed to myself one last time to calm down and left the room, going up two flights of stairs to the infirmary. I surprisingly found it empty, which made me feel a lot better. Isaac was feeling well enough to not be supervised. When going back down stairs, I checked his room just to make sure he wasn’t there, which he wasn’t, so I headed outside. I went straight to Sai’s workshop and peeked into the open garage door. That’s where I found Isaac, sitting at a desk with a small metal gadget in his hand. Golden sunlight spilled through the window in front of him, allowing him to see since none of our lights work. 

After promising not to eavesdrop, I realized this was probably the same thing, so I stepped into the room and made my presence known with a “hey.”

He glanced over his shoulder and a small smile appeared on his face. “Welcome back. Everything go well?” His scratchy voice travelled right to my heart as he turned his gaze back to the device in his hands. I walked over and looked over his shoulder as he twisted a screw into place with a screwdriver. 

“Yeah, nothing particularly bad happened. I’m going back to my contacts in three days to pick everything up. I hope they get the computer chips you asked for,” I explained, and he met my gaze quickly. 

“It’s okay if they don’t. Thanks for trying anyways,” he assured, looking down at the thing in his hands again. He seemed calm, and that made me feel the same. 

“What’re you making?” He put the screwdriver down, lifting the device up. He slid the ring attached to it over his head and placed the square chunk of metal with a hole in the middle of it over the patch on his missing eye.

“Just something to cover up the hole in my head. Thought it would be better than the patch,” he told me, pulling it back off his head and setting it down. “What colour should I make the lens?” He pulled a group of rectangular pieces of what looked like opaque plastic across the desk towards us. Each was a different colour. “Red, green, or blue?”

I thought for a minute, looking him over. “Well… I mean, I think red suits you for some reason,” I said, although the shirt under his black and white sweatshirt was blue. He slid the red lens into the eyepiece, then pulled the patch off his eye and put his new device over the hole in his head, not letting me see the wound. He pulled his hair over the metal band around his head and turned to look at me. 

“What do you think?” I let my gaze follow from the crown of his hair to his rather fancy yet scuffed up dress shoes. Again, he was wearing a blue button up shirt but the red lens didn’t clash badly at all. I liked it, actually; I really liked it. It suited him more than I think two working eyes might. 

“Looks perfect. You can change the colour if you don’t like it anyways,” I noted, and he smiled, a light blush touching his cheeks. I honestly didn’t even realize I had said he looked perfect. I think I meant the eyepiece looks perfect, but he does too. Especially in this light, the golden sun threading through his hair and reflecting off of his remaining eye. I moved to sit on the desk, still studying his features. “It really suits you. I like it.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, his cheeks getting as red as his freshly stitched scars. I winked at him and gave a half-smile, causing him to chuckle a bit and look down. His little smile was just adorable; there wasn’t a single person but him I’d ever thought that about before. I wanted to kiss his cheeks and make him giggle over it. 

“So… what was wrong earlier? Why’d you get the headache?” I had to change the topic before I actually acted in my ideas. Not only that but I was glad his headache had clearly subsided.

“Oh, Todd said there was a tiny piece of metal in my head or something, so he flushed it out.”

“‘Flushed it out?’ What do you mean?”

“...Y’know how shower heads have different settings? Well imagine the really powerful one that just comes out of the middle.”

“Holy shit, that sounds painful,” I cut in, a cold shiver going up my spine at the thought. He laughed a little bit, making my heart rate rise. His laugh was so much clearer than his voice but so,  _ so  _ perfect. 

“You didn’t let me finish. So now think about the water pressure being really low and it just kind of droops down like a floppy dick. That’s what it was like,” he explained, and I my next few words just sorta slipped out.

“God, you’re perfect,” I mumbled out. Dick jokes already? I’d be bored of him already if he had a stance against dick jokes, I’m sure. He seemed like he had some clever jokes in mind and that excited me. 

“Pardon?” 

“What? I didn’t say anything,” I played off, and he raised an eyebrow but dismissed it anyways. 

“Huh. Well, anyways, it felt really weird, but it got rid of the headache. Hopefully it doesn’t come back,” he wished, and I watched closely as his eyelashes fluttered in the sunlight. I hope I didn’t have a stupid look on my face because  _ fuck  _ he’s gorgeous. 

“No kidding. At least you seem to be coping well with, y’know, losing your eye,” I tried to sympathize. 

“Yeah, it’s a lot harder to see, but I’m getting used to it. The only inconvenience is that I have to turn my head all the way to see things.”

“I’m sure you won’t even notice it in a week’s time,” I assured him. “Hey, you know you look okay like that, right? I mean—I’m sure you’re probably kind of upset by the way you’re looking right now but I assure you, you look good.” I reached up and nervously dragged my fingers along the chain around my neck. He let out a breathy laugh and looked up with me with a rather surprised expression. 

“You think so? I admit, I am a little… yeah, I’m upset about it; anyone would be,” he explained, but that blush didn’t leave his face. 

“It’s true. Try not to be so hard on yourself.” After that, it was just quiet. I hoped I hadn’t said something wrong, but his little smile made me think he was just thinking it all over. I could’ve asked him so many things in that moment, but I was just silent.  _ How’s life been since the breakout? How far did you fall after everything was shut down? Do you think it was a good idea to put a wall around the biggest city in the province?  _ Every question had to do with disaster. There was nothing I could say without accidentally bringing up a bad memory or something. 

Finally, after moments of aching silence, he spoke up. “Want to go walk around the streets? I don’t know, I’ve just been inside all day and miss the sky,” he offered, and I nodded as nonchalantly as I could. 

“I’m down,” I agreed, and he pushed himself out of his chair, beckoning me to follow him out of the workshop. 

“You lead, I don’t know where I’m going,” he chuckled as he let the warm sunlight spill over him. He closed his eye gently as he looked up, making me wonder how someone could look so happy in a time like this. In the short moments before I spoke, I attempted to count the numerous fresh scratches on his face. The most prominent one went across the bridge of his nose. Despite the injuries, however, he still looked amazing.

I was almost a tad intimidated by the height difference between us. He must’ve been at least 6’3” so that put a good 6 inches between us. It wasn’t often I found myself trying to court someone taller than me but I guess it didn’t really matter what his height was. Hopefully he was into shorter guys, I suppose.

“Alright, I guess I can show you the safe parts of our little section of town,” I said, walking down the deserted street. Just across the road was the hotel and on the other side of the workshop was the bar, but I headed away from that, towards the east side of camp. I glanced behind me to make sure he was following, which he was, his gaze scanning the abandoned buildings lining the street. 

“How far do the ‘safe’ parts go?” He moved faster so he could walk beside me. 

“It’s about 3 blocks in each direction, minus the ocean, which is also pretty safe,” I answered, but he didn’t respond. After a few seconds of silence I worried I’d done something wrong. “You okay?” He frowned and looked over at me.

“Yeah? As okay as anyone can be. Why ask?” 

“You just didn’t say anything. I don’t really know what that’s supposed to mean,” I explained, a bit embarrassed of not knowing simple social cues. 

“I didn’t really have to respond. Sometimes words aren’t really needed. At least, I don’t think they are,” he told me, and I nodded slowly. I mean, I could understand that I suppose. 

“Oh, that makes sense,” I agreed, but in my mind all I could think was  _ wow, that’s actually pretty genius.  _ Maybe I was just stupid, which made me think that I definitely wasn’t smart enough for him. That thought made my heart drop. It was pretty well known that I’m a huge dumbass; not to mention that I dropped out of high school to join a money laundering scheme. I mean, it worked out for me in the end, and I’ll be financially stable for the rest of my life now, but I could just tell that Isaac would much rather be with someone smart than rich. For all I know, he’s straight anyways.

“Do you remember when all these buildings were perfect?” His words breaching the silent streets knocked me out of my thoughts. 

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I used to live around here actually. Maybe 1 or 2 miles down the road,” I explained quickly, glancing down to notice that his hands were resting in his jeans pockets. Next to his hand sat his pistol; he must’ve talked to Roma, since he now had a holster for the gun and he hopefully wouldn’t lose it again. 

I didn’t like to think about home. It wasn’t there anymore, was the thing. I went to visit a few seasons ago, to see the rubble of my old townhouse, but I couldn’t push myself into the rubble; not because I couldn’t climb it, but because my fear had me frozen in place. 

“Damn. At least you got to stay close to home.”

“I’m guessing you lived by Norton University?”

“Bingo. I lived in a tiny little apartment a few minutes walk away. God, the rent was so expensive for such a small room. That was the one good thing about all of this - I don't have to pay to be alive,” he explained, a bit of bitterness in his tone. 

“I wish we would’ve met under different circumstances,” I chuckled weakly, feeling a little stupid in the moment. I hadn’t ever thought that about anyone here, not even Destiny or Anthony. “I could’ve helped you with the rent. I could’ve gotten you a much better place to live, too.”

“I wouldn’t have let you do that. Besides, out of the 1.3 million people living here, what were the chances that you and I would ever meet?” He sighed. He almost sounded... disappointed? Like he desperately wished we actually had met. 

“Who knows. We could have a friend in common. We could’ve worked at the same place,” I listed off, but he shook his head. Of course, my idea of working together was me stealing from someone he knew or something like that.

“We lived on opposite sides of the city; it never would have happened. Besides, what’s it matter? We know each other now, and I will never have that big of an effect on your life,” he reasoned, but I got caught up on the last part.  _ If only you knew.  _

“What makes you think that?” He never looked back at me, instead cautiously looking around at the crumbling buildings. A balcony bridged over the street between two apartment complexes.

“I’m just some nobody you found on the riverbanks. If anything, I’m just another mouth to feed. You’ve all had an impact on my life, but I’ve done nothing for you.”

“You haven’t had an impact on the others  _ yet.  _ Don’t forget how smart you are, and how useful you can be,” I tried, and he pressed his lips together, seeming somewhat distant. 

“What do you mean, ‘the others’? What about you?” He was curious now, his golden gaze finally meeting mine. 

_ What do I say?  _ “Uhm, well, I think you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. I guess that makes you important to me,” I told him, trying my best to make my words make sense but not incriminating. 

“I’m not that smart,” he argued simply, continuing to look around at our surroundings. 

“Come on man, you got into N.U. for computer programming! I heard something like only 1 in 1000 people who apply get into that business!” 

“...1 in 1500, actually,” he spoke quietly, his shoulders falling and his gaze turning to the ground. I hesitated before patting his back lightly. Something about being accepted into university was getting to him.

“That’s something to be proud of,” I assured, but he shrugged my hand off his shoulder and stepped away from me. “Oh, sorry,” I immediately apologized once he got away from me, proceeding to bury my hands in my pockets and fiddle with the chain of my pocket watch. I understood not wanting to be touched, I wasn’t too fond of it either. He suddenly stopped walking and turned a glare to me. 

“Are you pissed off or is your voice just that… antagonizing?” There was quite the bite behind his voice, which made me realized I’d definitely messed everything up again. 

“Huh? I—no? I’m not mad.”

“Weird, because you’ve acted like the biggest asshole all day,” he mentioned, but his voice softened up on the next comment. “Maybe it’s just me; I’m not very good at talking to people.”  _ Just like me, huh? _

“I’m… I’m sorry, I don’t know where this… attitude came from,” I tried. I really don’t know where it came from. I didn’t even notice it, but look at me now, messing up all my chances with Isaac  _ again.  _

His long sigh brought me back to Earth again. “Don’t be, it's probably me. I’m just… I’m going to go back to camp… do some more work or something,” he said, his already gravelly voice lowering as he turned around and walked away silently. I watched as he left, my heart in my throat. 

“God, I’m a mistake,” I choked out, feeling so disappointed in myself. I wanted Isaac to like me, not hate me. My eyes fell to the ground, but worry rose in my stomach when I heard the heavy falls of Isaac’s boots stop. Oh fan-fucking-tastic, he heard that. 

“Welcome to the party, man,” he mentioned, and the way his voice shifted in tone made me know he understood. I looked up and met his gaze, realizing he wasn’t very far away - maybe fifteen steps. His remaining eye was heavy with emotion, his irritation leaving no trace.  _ No, please don’t say you think that about yourself.  _ His head tilted up as he looked into the darkening sky. “Well, are you just going to stand out here alone, with no weapon, in the ruins of a city? C’mon, let’s go,” he invited, turning to walk again. I waited a moment, unsure if I should follow just in case I were to upset him again. “Leo,” he beckoned, glancing over his shoulder at me. My heart fluttered in my chest at the sound of my name being said in his groggy voice. I realized then and there that his voice was probably my favourite thing about him, aside from how smart he is. He sounded like he just woke up, and I’m sure his chest vibrates like crazy when he speaks. I ached to lay my head on his chest and listen to him sing quietly. “Damn, you have a really short attention span,” he chuckled, knocking me out of my thoughts.  _ Oh, a laugh! I made him laugh without doing anything! _

“Sorry! I don’t know what’s going on lately, I’ve been really out of it,” I apologized, jogging up to him.

“You’ve said ‘sorry’ 3 times in the past 5 minutes. Stop it,” he mentioned, turning his gaze down to me. He let out a little laugh which warmed me to the core. 

“Well, sorry I keep saying sorry,” I joked, earning a slight smile and a shake of the head. I noticed he had to turn his head a lot to see me since I was standing on the same side as his missing eye, so I slowed my walk and stepped around to the other side of him.

“What are you doing?” 

“You were complaining about it being a hassle to turn your head so much to see, figured I’d help you out,” I smiled. He huffed a little laugh out of his nose and rolled his eyes. However, he did say “thank you,” afterwards. 

Suddenly, he tore his gaze away from mine and spun to look behind us, freezing where he stood. His hand, which had never left his pistol, now pulled the weapon out of its holster and held it low. “Did you hear that?” 

“No…? It’s probably just a bird,” I tried to reason, “or a rat.”

“Or it could be a person with a gun,” he defended. 

“You’re a person with a gun. Let’s go,” I beckoned, but he didn’t move. For a moment I though he might not even know how to use his handgun. He didn’t look the part, but surely he did. 

“Figured someone like you would know better than to turn your back on something that could kill you,” he noted as he walked forward slowly, lifting his gun higher. I sighed, knowing he was right, then jogged forward and ripped the gun out of his hands. “Hey! What the hell?!” That bite returned to his tone and he clicked his tongue in anger. I pointed the gun to the sky and pulled the trigger, a loud  _ bang  _ going off. Almost instantly, a small raccoon shot out of a nearby alley and into a trash can across the road. When the bullet hit the ground a few feet away, it made a little ringing noise. I handed Isaac back his pistol. 

“Raccoon. Not someone with a gun. It’s pretty safe around here, so don’t worry,” I assured him, noticing his face heat up and his gaze falling to the ground. 

“I - uhm, sorry,” he said quietly as we began walking back to the hotel again. He returned his gun to his belt and let his hand wander away from it, instead bringing his fingers to his mouth and chewing on his nails. 

“Don’t be,” I responded kindly, “it’s good to be paranoid in a place like this. And… you’re right, I should’ve been more worried myself. It really could’ve been someone. But, just so you know, in the three years I’ve been here, nobody has ever come here and had bad intentions. People don’t really come to this side of the town, with the Anarchists and the Syndicate around,” I explained. I made sure my respect for him and his worry was as obvious as it could be. 

“I have two questions,” he said past his fingers.

“Ask away,” I smiled, noticing how stubby his fingernails really were. He lowered his hands to the hem of his blue button-up shirt and fiddled with it while he spoke. Half of it had come untucked from his jeans. 

“Why do the Anarchists and the Syndicate, of all gangs, not bother you guys?”  _ Just say ‘us’, not ‘you guys’.  _ “I heard they’re both pretty dangerous.”

“Well, the Anarchists support our cause and… well, I have the Syndicate under my finger. Plus, I’ve helped the Anarchists out a few times before and now they give us matches and lighters, they’ve got a huge stockpile,” I admitted, not entirely sure how he would take the news of me being… well, not the greatest person. I’ve never directly hurt anyone, mind you. “Neither of the groups hurt any of the Afflicted either. They’re both here to help us, if we need it,” I added quickly. 

“Hmm. So that’s why Sai said you’d be rich when the economy is restored. The Syndicate’s been around for… what, 30 years?” I couldn’t find any anger or disgust in the knowledge of my associates, so that made me feel a little better. 

“That’s right. There’s a bunch of divisions around town, mine has 40-something people in it. My spot in our plan to fix the city is to restore the economy. We’ve got a vault full of antiques and valuables, and when everyone is healthy again, we’ll split it up evenly between everyone. That is, when people get back on their feet and can support themselves,” I explained, a smile touching my face. I was excited to be needed for something important, even if that plan fell through in the end. None of us in our group knew a lick about the economy, to be honest. “What was your other question?” I asked this after he never responded, assuming this was one of the situations in which words weren’t needed. I couldn’t think of a good enough response to what I had said myself. Most of it was ‘cool,’ or ‘that's nice’.

“How’d you end up here? You said it’s been three years,” he questioned, seeming a lot more relaxed, which made me feel better. When I looked down the road, I noticed we were getting pretty close to home. Yes, I call the camp ‘home’. What other place would be my home? Not the demolished townhouse down the road, that’s for sure.

“Well, it was kind of like how you got here. Some asshole in the Syndicate knocked me out in the streets and Michael found me, brought me here. Todd fixed me up and I just stuck around. I got all the supplies Todd needed for his research and I guess they didn’t mind keeping me around,” I remembered, thankful these people saved me from a messy life. I owed a lot to Michael and Todd. 

“Well, how did the rest of you get here?” I was happy to explain. As we reached the camp, I followed him into the workshop and he listened to my story as he grabbed some things. I sat on his desk, noticing it was getting darker in here. 

“Well, Michael knew Todd and Jean from before the Affliction, and Sai is Jean’s brother-in-law. Those four were here before me, then, like I said, Michael found me,” I retold as he walked back over to me and set a bunch of metal pieces on the table. He lit a lantern on the desk with a match, lighting up the space. I watched as the flame glittered in his eye, getting entranced with the deep colours. He sat down and silently listened as he made some sort of… Damn, I think it was a bomb. He was using gunpowder. “Roma came next; she showed up with a tradesman then decided to stay and the man left. He wasn’t very happy, but we haven’t seen him since,” I continued. “After Roma, Anthony showed up as a cook for hire, and we gladly took him on, and eventually he told us to stop paying with bits and bobs I’d found out in abandoned stores down the highway, that letting him stay was enough.”

He clicked his tongue, quietly saying “that’s sweet.” I was there when it happened, and it was pretty sweet. Anthony’s a huge softie. I watched as Isaac shook some gunpowder into the round metal hemisphere.

“I found Robbie out in the streets not long after, and everyone thought I was crazy for bringing him here, but he was healthy and Jean’s managed to calm his messy head in the past few months.” 

“Don’t shake the desk,” he commented as he very carefully set some metal shards on the gunpowder. He proceeded to put a group of loosely twisted together wire on top of the metal shards, then another layer of metal. “You can keep talking,” he mentioned.

“Oh. Well, Destiny showed up not too long after Robbie, just asking for a place to stay. And of course, you’re here now. Your story is probably the coolest, to be honest,” I chuckled, watching him put a little bit of gunpowder into the second hemisphere and setting it on top of the filled half very carefully.

“I think yours was more eventful,” he said, a small smile on his face. 

“How? You nearly got killed by a surveyor! You’re missing an eye! You’re a fighter, let me tell you,” I pointed out. 

“You got beaten up. I got thrown out. Two very different things.” His voice was… sad and angry at the same time, but it wasn’t directed towards me. 

“You weren’t thrown out, you were betrayed.” 

“No, they used me. You didn’t know how they acted towards me. It was all ‘Isaac do this,’ ‘Isaac, hurry up and finish this project,’ ‘Isaac, you’re worthless,’” he quoted, but his voice cracked on the word ‘worthless’. “Then they just got rid of me.”

“Well, it’s their loss, not yours. And nobody is going to get rid of you here, I promise. Then, silence. Not an uncomfortable silence, mind you. The look he shared with me told me everything he wanted to say—‘thank you so much’ and ‘I hope you’re not lying.’ I wasn’t. If anyone tried to get rid of him, I’d stop them. Despite how much of a dumbass I am, I have authority here and I can convince Michael not to let that happen. 

After a few long moments in silence, I finally spoke again. “What are you making?”

“Its a frag grenade. When you shake it, the wire cord and metal shards ignite the gunpowder and it explodes, sending shrapnel everywhere,” he mentioned simply. 

“You could’ve told me that! All you said was ‘don’t shake the desk’ and here you are, making a bomb!”

“Relax, I know what I’m doing.”

“What do you use them for? I mean, they’re dangerous, obviously.”

“Surveyors. Hide behind a wall and throw it. If it doesn’t blow the thing up, it’ll at least knock it over,” he explained calmly, standing up and grabbing the lantern next to me, walking over to the huge shelf in the back of the shop and setting the grenade in a box. I was left sitting in pitch darkness, but that wasn’t what I was focused on. No, my mind went numb when Isaac turned and looked over at me, half his face cast in shadow. He laughed the most adorable laugh, a contrast from his groggy voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you in the dark,” he smiled wide, and I slid off the desk and walked over into the circle of light around him. 

“It’s fine, I don’t mind the dark—” I began, but I was cut off by a new voice.

“Hey lovebirds, dinner’s ready,” they said, and their own lantern revealed that it was Des. And just like that, she was gone, the light of her lantern following behind. 

“Lovebirds my ass,” I mumbled in an attempt to cover up my actual feelings. Isaac chuckled quietly as he walked out of the workshop, making sure I was following. He handed me the lantern, then reached up and grabbed the rope attached to the garage door of the workshop, pulling the door closed. He was tall enough to reach the rope, but most of the others, including myself, would have to jump. That’s one thing that sucks about Isaac. How am I ever supposed to make a move if he’s so tall? 

When he turned to look at me again, I led him to the next building over—the bar Anthony had spent lots of time fixing up. Lanterns littered the room, making it easy to see. Only moments after we got into the bar, Isaac was stolen away from me by Todd, who wanted to ask him about his head. I walked over to the table Des and Robbie were sitting at. 

“How was your date with river boy?” Des teased me quietly when I sat down. 

“He made a bomb,” I told them bluntly, and they both looked surprised. 

“Damn, that’s cool and terrifying at the same time,” Robbie said, and I definitely agreed. Isaac making a bomb was somehow super sexy to me.

We spoke for a while, our conversation thankfully drifting away from Isaac. Anthony eventually brought us dinner—some kind of stew that we’d eat for the next week or so. It was actually really good. Reminded me of my mom’s cooking, no that she deserves the recognition. 

When I finished eating, I laid my head down on my arms and looked to the next table over at Isaac. He was sitting with Todd, Jean, and Michael, and he was laughing about something. I was just happy to see him laugh. Soon enough, all the noise around me drowned out and all my focus was on the boy in the white sweater with a single thick, black stripe in the waist region. The collar of his blue button up shirt stuck up past the hood of his sweatshirt, contrasting with the nearby white fabric and fair skin. While I kept my eyes on Isaac, I listened as Roma, who was sitting at the bar with Sai and Anthony, asked a question. 

“Robbie, what’s the weirdest thing you find attractive in people?”

“The smell of their blood,” Robbie joked. Or maybe it wasn’t a joke. “Or when they have tiny little hands. That’s cute.” Okay, that one was more reasonable.

“What about you, Leo?” 

“Huh?” I ripped my gaze away from Isaac, who, at some point, had started staring back at me with a small smile. “Oh, umm… I don’t know, I think scars and shit are hot. Shows that they’re tough enough to get through something dangerous and that they’ve got the willpower to heal,” I explained, recalling that many partners I’d had before had been pretty beaten up. It was rare to find anyone nowadays without some sort of visible injury. Of course, I didn’t date them for that reason only. My attention shot back to Isaac when I heard him chuckling. “What’s so funny, smartass?” 

He clicked his tongue and tilted his head slightly, saying “aww, you think I’m hot,” in his sleepy voice. I hadn’t even remembered that behind that opaque, red lens was a missing eye and his whole face was littered with gashes from sharp pieces of flying metal. The three older people sitting at the table laughed, along with Des, Roma, and Robbie. 

“Oh, shut up,” I complained, not denying that I thought he was hot because goddamn he was. The rest of the night, I got teased like normal. The jokes never got to me. Sure, they were sometimes embarrassing, like when Des kept loudly pointing out that I was staring at Isaac, which always caught Isaac’s attention, but every time he looked over, he’d smile or stick his tongue out at me or wink or sometimes he’d even lay his head on his arms and mimic me, staring right back. 

Eventually, I got tired and headed to bed. I stole a lantern and slipped out of the bar after everyone chimed their goodnights. When I was only a few steps out the door, I noticed footsteps following behind me. 

“Hey, wait up,” he called, and it was none other than Isaac himself. 

“Uh, hi. What’s up?” I wasn’t entirely sure why he was here, but I wasn’t complaining.

“I’m tired too, figured I’d just come with you,” he mentioned, looking up into the starry night sky. “This is one of the other good things about the electricity being cut off; you can see a trillion stars in the middle of the city.” Out of nowhere, he tripped on his own feet, stumbling forward. “Fuck!” I managed to grab his hand, saving him from making acquaintance with the sidewalk. When he stood properly and giggled a bit at his clumsiness, which warmed my heart, it occurred to me that I was holding his hand. I ripped my hand off of his and buried it in my pocket, my eyes falling to the ground and my face burning. 

“It should be you asking if I’m okay, but are  _ you  _ alright?” 

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m fine,” I said quickly. “Are you?”

“Yeah, thanks for catching me, even though you’re an embarrassed mess from just touching my hand. I’ve never met someone who would stare at someone all night, then get really flustered over nothing,” he chuckled. We walked up the stairs, but my gaze stayed glued to the floorboards. 

“I’m not embarrassed,” I lied, although it was so obvious that it was. 

“And I’m not that dumb. You don’t have to be nervous around me. I’m not  _ that  _ scary,” he assured calmly. “Anyways,” he continued as we reached his room, “see you tomorrow. Sleep well.” 

“Do you need the light?” I offered him the lantern, but he shook his head and opened the door. 

“I’ll be fine, thanks. Now get some sleep,” he insisted, closing the door. Just before the door closed, I said a quiet ‘goodnight,’ and he responded with ‘night.’ Then the door clicked shut and I was left in the hallway alone. I went to bed. 

The next days played out similarly, and I noticed that everyday nearing sundown, Isaac would come find me, no matter where I was. He’d say “I got some good work done today, figured I’d hang out with you,” and god that made me feel special. He didn’t go to Roma or Robbie or Des or even Todd. It was me. 

Who knew the smartass like him would want to be friends with a moron like me?


	3. The Syndicate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was edited February 17th, 2021.

_Isaac Patel, autumn 2157._

I worked like a machine, doing the same things over and over again to make lots of rewriting tool casings. Yes I was bored, but it had to be done. It was around noon when my saviour walked into the workshop, simply saying “hey, want to come pick up all our stuff from the Syndicate with me?” He raked a hand through his dark, curly hair and it immediately caught my eye. 

“Hell yeah, I’m down,” I agreed immediately, excitement lacing my voice as I stood up. I wasn’t concerned about finishing the last rewriting tool, instead following Leo out of the workshop. He was sure to walk on my left side so I could see him easier. I had noticed over the past few days that he was always very observant of whether I could see him or not. Nobody else seemed to care if I was having an awkward time seeing them. “Who’s coming with us?”

“Just you and me. We don’t need any more help.”

“But you went with both Des _and_ Robbie last time,” I pointed out, though he just looked up at me from the corner of his eye. I glanced between his face and the large gun strapped to his back. I hoped he wouldn’t use it. 

“That doesn’t matter. Don’t worry about it, two people is enough. Less likely to be seen anyways,” he dismissed simply. The only response I could think of was ‘hm, okay,’ so I just stayed silent. I think he was starting to get used to me not replying to simple things. He didn’t look for an answer, at least. As he led me out of the camp, he asked if I had my pistol, which I did. Of course, only one bullet sat in the magazine but he didn’t need to know that. 

When we reached the edge of camp, he unlocked a metal gate with keys he had in his pocket. The gate was the same as the one on the other side of camp; the one we had gotten to the other day before I insisted we go back. He locked the gate behind us and led me through the abandoned streets.

“Why’d you want me to come with you?” I asked curiously and he met my gaze. My entire face heated up when I watched his eyes, framed by silver and covered by transparent blue, zip up and down quickly. _Did he just check me out? Of course he did, he’s been doing it all week._

“I’d rather spend an hour out in the city with you than with Robbie or Des,” he explained, and that truly surprised me. He just met me and he’s picking me over his friends. Maybe I was just eye candy to him, but he _did_ seem to like what I had to say. 

“Really?” I subconsciously brought my fingers to my mouth. It calmed me when it bit down on my stubby fingernails, a habit I had developed as a child. He watched my actions as he spoke. 

“Yeah. I find you interesting, and you don’t seem to be spending time with anyone else, so I guess you’re stuck with me,” he smiled, his eyes dancing between my own and the rest of my face. 

“Oh,” I uttered out, quite flattered that he thought I was interesting. We fell silent again, gazing around the empty streets. I started wondering if I was acting properly around Leo. By that, I mean do I accidentally let my wall crumble? That thought had me chewing on the skin of my fingertips, worrying that he wasn’t going to like the _real_ me. The messy me. The shell I have tries to convince everyone that I’m cold, that I’m fine with being alone—which I actually have quite the fear of—and that I don’t care about other people’s opinions about me. On the inside, though, I’m soft, shy, and think _way_ too much; always thinking I’m being watched, being judged.

I think about whether or not I’m worth the worry of everyone else. I think about whether or not I’ll be thrown out again. I think about why Leo is staring at me like he is. I think about why he’s looking at me like I’m a piece of treasure. I think about how I’m definitely not anything close to treasure. I think about how flattering it is for him to be looking at me like that. I think about how he stares at my bottom lip as I pull my fingers away, dragging my lip down with them. I think about how just… _enticing_ he looks at the moment, his lips slightly parted as he gazed at my own. And then I think about how much of a thirsty bitch I’m being over a handsome face, and I snapped my eyes away, gnawing on my fingers again. 

But _damn_ he‘s good looking. I mean, the bright eyes and the freckled cheeks and the charming smile… maybe I’m just looking for a fun time. I found myself playing with the piercing in the middle of my tongue that I had gotten years and years ago and forgotten about since. Maybe he was into piercings. I mean, I hope so, because both my ears and tongue are pierced, as well as an eyebrow ring and snakebites that I don’t wear anymore but put in every so often to keep the piercings from closing. Also, my upper arms and back have quite a few tattoos; one across my ribs too.

“Hey Leo,” I began, hoping I wasn’t too obvious with my next few words. “What’s your opinion on tattoos and stuff?”

“Tattoos? I think they’re pretty hot. 90% of the people I’ve dated have had tattoos. Always wanted one myself, actually. Why ask?” I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could. 

“Just trying to make conversation,” I explained, scratching my upper arm through my hoodie. “So how long until we get to wherever we’re going?”

“Like 5 minutes.”

“Oh. I thought it would be farther than that,” I mentioned. This time, it was Leo who didn’t respond. Isn’t that called mimicking? I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere—that people who enjoy your company begin to act like you in small ways. But this was just one time; it probably means nothing. 

When we reached our destination, I found it to just be a factory. Nothing big mind you, smaller than the one down the road from camp, actually, but a factory nonetheless. I guess it would be a smart place to stay as long as you got rid of all the machines, seeing as it could fit a lot of people. Leo turned to me, looking more serious than he had in the past few days. 

“Stay _right_ here. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be back in a minute, I just have to open the door,” he explained quickly. 

“Wait, I’m actually going in? I—I’d rather stay out here…” I responded, somewhat scared of whatever this group of people entails. I mean, the Syndicate is pretty infamous for holding people hostage, from what I’ve heard at least. “Yeah, I don’t want to go in,” I repeated, hopefully getting the point across. 

“I’m not leaving you out here. You’ll be fine, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you,” he assured softly, reaching out to touch my upper arm. I didn’t pull away from his touch for the first time since we’d met. 

“Trust me.”

I shut down at that. The last person to tell me to trust them used me and then pushed me away. How am I supposed to know if Leo isn’t going to bring me in there and kill me? 

“Sorry,” he uttered out afterwards, looking down at the ground. “I just don’t want something to happen and I’m not there to keep you safe.”

“Why do you think you need to be there for me to be safe?” I asked curiously, though I was a bit upset by the comment. Or maybe I was embarrassed. He’d put a bullet in a threat, I knew that. I didn’t like that part of him.

“I know I don’t _actually_ need to be there for you to be safe, but I want to be there in case something _does_ happen and I can help you. Or maybe just watch you kick some ass,” he chuckled. That made me feel better, knowing that he wasn’t underestimating me, but…

I sighed in defeat. “I have to admit, I’m not great with a gun—hell, I’ve shot it once or twice—and I’d… much rather you were here too, in case something _did_ happen.” If I was going to die I wanted him to be there with me, I suppose.

“So you’ll come in with me?” He asked, his eyes lighting up. I nodded shallowly. 

“Yeah. I... trust you,” I told him. It wasn’t a lie. Despite me saying that I _didn’t_ trust him, on the inside I do. He’s got a heart of gold, and I can see it. The smile that cracked across his face after I told him I trusted him was priceless. He seemed accomplished in that moment. He seemed proud. 

“Okay. I’ll be back in a minute. Just don’t worry about anything, I’ll talk you through it all,” he assured before turning and walking into the factory, leaving me alone in the street. The lack of his warm, gloved hand against my arm made me feel almost… lost. Like a kid lost in a grocery store, their parent just an aisle over. 

Now that Leo was gone, I noticed the absence of the _tick, tick, tick,_ from his pocket watch. I liked the sound to be honest, and I felt even more lonely when it was gone. When we were back at camp, the missing sound wasn’t so bad. I knew Leo was around somewhere, and that I’d hear the sound again, but out here I was alone and paranoid, waiting patiently for said boy to come and get me. I loosened my pistol in its holster so I could grab it easier if the need arised and my other hand went to my mouth so I could bite my nails. 

Across the street was a metal sign plastered to the wall, the corners rusting. It was government issued, showing the stages of the virus. There were 6 stages, the first being the initial contraction of the sickness—flu-like symptoms, jaundice, sneezing a black fluid up. 

Stage two was the beginnings of insanity setting in, when the virus would begin attacking the brain. The eyes would begin to leak black sludge, as would the nose. 

Stage three is when lesions begin appearing on the body, mostly caused by the insane subject scratching themselves up as they lose control of their body, and instead of bleeding red, their blood turns into that black ooze that is very toxic to a healthy person. 

Stage four is debatably the worst of the stages, where the Afflicted person completely loses themself and attacks anything and anyone they find. There aren't very many things that can stop them other than a machine gun or grenade, since their killer instincts make them able to easily cope with a broken limb. 

The fifth stage was when the body began to die, no matter how healthy the person was before they’d reached that stage. They’d find a dark, damp area to lie down in and they’d die. 

Stage six, the last stage, was when the black viscous liquid began to expand in the dead corpse and eventually it would _explode,_ sending the infectious liquid everywhere, waiting to infect its next host. This all took place over the span of about a year, minus the final stage which had been seen to happen within a year to… who knows how long. There could be Afflicted out there as old as five years for all I know.

At the bottom of the sign, after all of the stages were explained, was a warning—any contact with the black substance would cause infection, and anyone who was infected was subject to termination. I felt sick to my stomach. Those people were just like me and Leo, just so, so sick. 

I felt a relaxation envelop me like a tight hug when Leo stepped back out of the factory and gestured for me to follow him inside. “Don't be surprised if you get catcalled. It tends to happen when you’re hot,” he warned lightheartedly. I managed a little chuckle and cleared my throat. 

“I’m not hot,” I argued as I followed him down a small hallway. 

“Oh please, yes you are,” he assured me, and I knew my face was beet red. The compliment made me feel a whole lot better, but only because it came from Leo. I wouldn’t believe anyone else who said it. I was silent until we reached another door and Leo knocked. “It’s me.” 

The door opened and a gnarly man stared up at me. He was most definitely very scary, and the glare he was giving me made me think I was about to be shanked. Leo cleared his throat and the man opened the door all the way, stepping back. I followed close behind Leo as we walked into the main part of the factory. It was _full_ of people. I honestly didn’t know there were this many healthy people left in the city. Then again, there’s a million people around here somewhere. 

“Just stay low, then they shouldn’t notice you,” Leo mentioned in a low voice as we walked down some metal stairs and he led me towards the back of the large, open room. 

“Hey, Leo, who’s the hottie?!” An unknown girl called. 

“Oh god,” I uttered out, and then everyone’s eyes were on Leo and I. A jolt of panic seeped into my brain and I could tell Leo noticed. There were a few whistles from some other people and I just felt like disappearing. I wanted to melt away and have nobody notice I was there. Through the chatter, I heard someone say ‘ooh, he brought a hooker for us to throw around,’ and I think that got Leo pissed. He grabbed my pistol off my hip and shot the single round into the roof before wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close to him. The room fell silent. 

“He’s not a toy,” he growled, “fucking animals.” He continued leading me through the crowd again, never letting go of me, but I wasn’t complaining. I didn’t want anyone else catcalling me, and they all seemed to be scared of Leo. “You okay?” He asked quietly, gazing up through his goggles with concerned eyes. 

“Yeah. Has that happened before with other people?”

“Des got it too, but not as bad as you. I’m really sorry about that,” he said, sliding my pistol into the holster at my belt. “These bastards are sick of seeing the same people every day.” The hand around my waist slid down slightly and wrapped around my hip, his grip not strong, but there. I tore my gaze away from him and glanced around the room, noticing an older, bearded man looking me up and down. I didn’t understand why I looked so interesting to these people. I’ve never been found attractive by people before, and yet here I am, getting hit on more than Des, who I think is gorgeous. I reached up with my right hand and touched Leo’s chest gently, curling my fingers in the fabric of his shirt. 

“That guy is creeping me out,” I whispered, and he squeezed my hip slightly, turning a sharp glare to the man across the room.

“Hey cocksucker! Don’t think I won’t pop a cap in your skull,” Leo threatened and the man looked away, but I knew that his gaze was on my back as we got to the end of the room. These last few minutes felt like hours to me, and my embarrassment levels were at an all time high, both from the cat calling and Leo. Don’t think I didn’t notice his hand sliding down further and further. I was tempted to grab his wrist and pull his hand back up to my hip, but he wasn’t… I don’t know, treating me like an object? He was just doing it to keep the other people away. If anything, he was just exploring someone who he found… attractive. Maybe he was even flirting a little and it was just going over my head. And it’s not like I minded the contact. Ugh, here comes thirsty bitch again. Plus, I’m sitting here believing that he _actually_ finds me attractive. _That’s rich_. I’m all scratched up and broken. I mean, I’m missing an eye! But… Leo said it himself. “I think scars and injuries are hot,” and damn I have a lot of those. 

I snapped myself out of my thoughts as Leo let go of me and we reached another door, stepping into a small, office-like room where a man sat at a desk. He glanced up as I shut the door behind me. I moved to try to hide behind Leo as best I could. He seemed confident and I very much was not. 

“Ah, it’s you. I was wondering why it got so loud out there. We all remember what happened last time you brought someone in here,” he said, scratching his short beard. 

“Yeah… I couldn’t just leave him out on the streets alone though,” Leo said, walking over to a pile of boxes in the corner of the room. I stayed close to the door, pressing my back up against the wall. 

“You must be Isaac, no?” The man asked, looking up at me. I nodded slightly, biting my fingernails again. “Hm. You’re a quiet one. That tends to be welcome around here, nobody ever shuts up.”

“He talks more once you get to know him,” Leo mentioned as he walked over with a box, handing it to me. It wasn’t heavy, but it had a weight to it. Leo returned to the corner and looked through a few more boxes. For a moment I danced around the thought that he felt like he knew me so well based on his previous statement. Y’know, maybe he did. Maybe I had been talking too much. 

“So where do you come from?” The unnamed man asked me. 

“Uhh, downtown Norton. By the university,” I answered nervously, and Leo returned with another box, setting it in my arms. It made it hard to see over the cardboard, but I kinda liked not having to stare back at the stranger. He mouthed a silent “calm down, you’re fine,” to me. Great, so I _looked_ nervous. 

“Did you go to the university?”

“Mhmm,” I mumbled out. He seemed surprised by that. 

“He’s a smart one too. You guys got lucky with this one,” he mentioned to Leo. 

“Yeah, he’s a genius,” the younger man smiled, and I rolled my eyes despite my heated face. Well, maybe Leo wasn’t younger. Hell, Leo could be older than me. “Anyways, this is the last box. I’ll be back in a few weeks. You know where to find me if you need me,” Leo continued, taking one of the boxes in my arms and carrying it himself, so that he had two and I only carried one. 

“Stay safe out there, you two,” the other man concluded, and Leo nodded a slight nod before opening the door and beckoning me out. I followed him closely, thankful that nobody was paying us any attention this time. Or maybe they were, but they knew better than to make it obvious. 

“Who was that?” I asked curiously, shifting the box in my arms. 

“Hm? Oh, that’s Mark, he’s basically in charge around here. Why ask?” 

“Just wondering,” was all I said until we got outside the building and headed back to the camp. I mean, I wanted to know; that’s why I asked. He seemed a bit distracted, so maybe his words were more automatic than planned. Eventually, he asked me a question. 

“So… how are you getting along with everyone in camp? Is there anyone you don’t really like?” he asked, a little tinge of worry in his voice. That’s one thing I hadn’t quite figured out yet. The ever-confident Leo was always so concerned that I didn’t like him. 

“Well… don’t tell anyone, but… I’m not a huge fan of Michael. Like, don’t get me wrong, he’s alright and all, and he _is_ letting me stay with you guys, but I just don’t like him,” I admitted. I knew Leo would say a word about it. In fact, I was catching the feeling that he didn’t like Michael much, either. Strict leader, I guess. 

“Oh. I guess everyone has their own tastes. What about the others?”

“Hm… well, there’s Sai; he’s nice. And Jean has been so welcoming. And I really like Anthony. And there's you, of course,” I chuckled. He flushed a bit and it was just so adorable. 

“What do you mean, ‘of course?’ Is that good or bad? I hope it’s not bad, I—”

“It’s good, Leo. It’s good,” I assured, offering him a small smile. “You’re the one person I’ve been able to call a friend in a long, _long_ time.” I jabbed my elbow into his side gently; an attempt to try and hide the seriousness of my confession. 

“Hehehe,” he laughed nervously, looking down. “Awesome.”

When we got back to the camp, we brought the boxes to Michael, (Leo did all the talking, thankfully,) and I found a pile of computer parts in a little bag at the bottom of one of the boxes. I went off to the workshop and got together all the casings of my rewriting tools, slotting the parts into the machines before taking the small chip out of my pocket. The chip was there but something was missing… but what? Maybe I was just remembering things wrong, but I feel like I had my wallet with me just out of habit. I must’ve left it on my bedside table this morning. 

I shook my head and focused on completing rewriting tools with all of my new supplies. I got around three done before Leo walked into the workshop. He didn’t say anything, simply sitting down on the floor, his back against the leg of the desk. We just… gazed at each other for a long minute. It wasn’t staring, but… we were just looking at each other. A few curls of his hair were plastered to his forehead and his freckled forearms weren’t covered by the gauntlets he usually wore, giving me a sense of him being tired and wanting to listen to me work away. His overcoat was falling off his shoulders slightly, and I wanted to ask why he looked so tired, but I decided against it. Instead I turned my gaze back to my rewriting tools and began reprogramming the rest of them, humming a quiet song under my breath. 

Eventually, Leo started snoring quietly, leaning his head against my leg. I found myself pushing all my tools across the table and blowing out the candle that was illuminating the desk before lying my head down and closing my eye. I heard Leo mumble a little bit, then he quietly breathed out “Isaac,” causing me to lift my head slightly. I barely peeked past my eyelashes, but there was no point; I didn’t turn my head enough to see him. 

“Yeah?” I whispered, reaching down to twirl his hair around my fingers. His soft, soft hair. His slightly greasy hair. His knotted hair. His perfect hair. 

“Mmmh,” he mumbled, though I don’t think it was in response to what I said. 

“Leo?” I questioned, but, again, there was no response. _Holy shit, he’s dreaming about me._

Not long after that, I must’ve fallen asleep, my stomach empty but my heart warm. Nobody woke us up for dinner. Or maybe they did, but neither of us got up. No, I awoke to sunlight streaming through the window. I slowly blinked my eyes open and looked down at Leo, who’s hair was still tangled around my fingers. He had drooled down the side of the leg of my jeans, but I couldn’t help but think it was adorable. 

“Leo, wake up,” I beckoned, pulling my hand out of his hair, “we’ve gotta… do stuff or something.”

There was a familiar weight of water damaged cards and torn leather in my pocket. 

_Leo Smith, 1 hour earlier._

I sat on the edge of my bed and tapped the soft, worn leather in my hand. It didn’t belong to me, like 90% of the things I had for myself already. I didn’t plan on keeping it, of course, it was just one of the fun games I liked to play around camp when I was bored. I hadn’t been caught by Isaac, Des, Jean, or Anthony yet in my game of taking things out of their pockets and discreetly returning them. Sometimes I wouldn’t even take things. 

Yesterday I just filled Isaac’s pockets with screws one by one as I noticed he was using them to put together his funny little tool things. I figured it was the least I could do to keep him happily working away. 

Isaac seemed to be a real workaholic; the embodiment of one. I never saw him just relaxing other than at dinner. I mean, even at dinner, Todd or Michael tend to interrupt our conversations. Which, yes, that was a good thing that had happened. Isaac had claimed his spot at dinner next to me at the old booth I shared with Des and Robbie. His gangly-ass legs (which, for the record, I had already grown to love the height difference we had,) always ended up in my territory under the table and I could do anything _but_ complain. 

I was almost tempted to peel open the wallet in my hand, but I wasn’t going to invade Isaac’s property. I mean, he’d told me the other day that everything in it was garbage ‘cause it was all ruined from the water, but that didn’t mean I was going to look anyways. 

Where the absolute _hell_ did this moral compass come from? I’ve stolen personal things from everyone in camp and snooped around in them—boxes, coat pockets, under pillows—yet I just couldn’t get myself to look at Isaac’s things. If I wanted to know, I’d ask him. 

I reached down with one hand and squeezed my knee slightly. My legs weren’t feeling that great today, and I was tired from carrying boxes back home. Of course, there was no way in hell I’d be letting Isaac carry more than me, so it was worth it. I pulled my gauntlets and goggles off and laid them on my bedside table. 

I climbed to stand, Isaac’s wallet still in my hand, and headed out to the workshop. I hid the wallet in my overcoat’s pocket as I found him sitting all pretty in the candle light at his desk. The glow of the flame made the edges of his already gorgeous hair look like something I’d steal and pawn off for millions. But I’d never steal from Isaac and give it away. I’d never even _try_ to steal his heart. 

I sluggishly walked over and he glanced up at me. He didn’t say anything, simply allowing me to sit down against his desk’s leg and listen to the quiet taps of his fingers on whatever he was working on. We made eye contact for a long moment and I just felt warm inside. There was something about the way he was looking at me in that moment. It was different from all the looks he gave me yesterday, and it’s far far different from the ones he gave me on the first day. It was just… him. He wasn’t worried. He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t stressed. He wasn’t angry. He was just being himself, even if silent. 

There was an energy about the way he sat next to me; how he slowly turned his head back to look at his work, how his shoulders slouched as he leaned forward, how he reached his arms up occasionally to stretch his poor back out, how his legs shifted slightly under the desk, the one furthest from me bouncing to the rhythm of the song he was humming. 

I fell into a trance with it all. I leaned my head against his calf and took a deep breath of the cool evening air. Just before I dozed off, I recalled the item in my pocket. I ever so carefully, in the guise of shadows, pulled the wallet out and slipped it back into the pocket of Isaac’s sweater I’d stolen it from. The weight had the originally white, now more grey fabric sagging slightly, but Isaac didn’t pay any attention to it. 

I fell asleep to a weight resting on the top on my head. Was that… dear god, I’m in for the long run now. 


	4. The Uranium Processor

_Leo Smith, winter 2157._

“God, it’s _so_ cold. I can’t even feel my fingers,” Isaac complained as we ate breakfast (which consisted of some sort of soup; it wasn’t too bad). He fumbled with his spoon and it clashed into the side of his bowl, causing me to chuckle. “Stop laughing at me, Moron,” he teased. The nickname was just a joke and it didn’t bother me at all. If anything, I thought it was funny. 

“Sorry, smartass. Just can’t help myself,” I told him, and Des groaned across the table from us. 

“Just marry each other already,” she said, and I rolled my eyes. 

“Nah, Ize’s too good for me.” I smiled shyly, looking away from Isaac. It was true, I wasn’t that spectacular. Definitely not up to a genius like him’s standards. 

“ _Sure._ ” I expected it to be Des who said it, but it was actually Isaac. Robbie stared into his soup silently, probably having a vision or something. A few moments later, before I could ask Isaac what he had meant, Todd walked into the building, running a hand through his hair as he approached us. He looked… uneasy. 

“Can I have your help with something?” He asked Isaac in a low tone, although we could all hear. 

“Of course, what do you need?” Isaac responded, and Todd nodded towards the door. Isaac understood what he wanted and pushed the last of his soup to me. “You can have the rest,” he offered as he stood up, rubbing his hands together. He followed Todd outside obediently, leaving Robbie, Des, and myself at the table. 

“That’s weird,” Des mentioned, dipping her spoon into her bowl slowly. I felt… lonely now that Isaac wasn’t next to me. I don’t feel this way often. I looked down at the two bowls in front of me and sighed before standing up and pulling my hood over my head. 

“Is that such a good idea?” Robbie finally spoke, snapping out of his trance. 

“Is what a good idea?”

“Following Isaac,” he continued, “I mean, it’s kind of like stalking, in a way-” 

“I’m not stalking him,” I snapped immediately. I took a breath and let it out slowly. “I’m just checking on him. If he doesn’t want me around, he’ll say so.” And with that, I left the building and stepped into the cold.

Out in the snow covered streets, a few buildings down, stood Isaac, Todd, Michael, and Roma. I walked closer, but kept my distance, leaning against the brick wall of a nearby building. 

“I don’t know about that… I mean, I’m not exactly familiar with the area…” Isaac said apprehensively, biting the nails of his left hand. 

“I would go with you,” Roma began, “but I’m a bit overwhelmed as it is. Bullets aren’t exactly easy to make…”

“Well, what about-” Todd started, but Michael swiftly cut him off. 

“Isaac can do it alone, he’s got his fancy robot things anyways,” he said dismissively. 

“They’re only for electrical systems, not-” Isaac tried to explain, but Micheal cut in again. 

“You’ll be _fine._ You’ve made it this far without help. Besides, it’ll be easy,” said man explained, a bit of a growl to his voice. Isaac removed his fingers from his mouth and clenched his fists next to him, huffing out a foggy breath into the cold air. I know how much he doesn’t like Michael, and I can kind of see why now. 

“The Ashworth residence isn’t _easy_ to break into!” Roma argued, and my heart sank. _They want_ Isaac _to break into that place? It’s full of guards! Or it was last I heard._ “Besides, like Isaac said, he doesn’t know the area. He’s dead meat out there, and I don’t think any of us want him to be hurt.”

I stepped forward, speaking up. “I’ll go with him. I’ve been there before anyways,” I volunteered. Not to mention, I’d feel a lot better if it was me with him rather than someone else. “ _You’re_ the one who sent me there. Two years ago or whatever,” I continued, speaking directly to Michael as I stood beside Isaac. Isaac’s whole demeanor seemed to relax a bit at my presence. 

“Uhm… no, you can’t go,” Michael spoke slowly, causing me to cross my arms. 

“Why not?” I responded bluntly, knowing full well that I wasn’t going to give in. 

“You and Isaac share a single brain cell when you’re together. I don’t… trust you two to stay focused,” he admitted.

“Oh please,” Isaac sighed, annoyance obvious in his voice. 

“Just because _I’m_ a dumbass doesn’t mean Isaac is,” I defended, “plus, he can do all the smart stuff and I’ll just protect him. Simple, no?”

“You know what? Fine. If you don’t come back, we won’t be surprised,” Michael growled back.

“What’s your problem today? You’re being more ridiculous than usual,” Isaac responded, sighing another breath out. I watched his hot, foggy breath spill over his lips gently, loving the way that looked. Really kissable. Not to mention his angry expression provided quite the sight. Yeah, I’d definitely dream about that tonight. 

“I wish you’d just…” Michael began, dragging a hand down his face, “shut your stupid mouth and stop talking for once.”

“Hold on-” Roma began defensively. 

“Now that’s not necessary.” That was Todd. 

“I will dig you a pit and push you in myself if you keep talking to me like that,” Isaac snapped darkly. I took a long step towards Michael, keeping my arms crossed. 

“What are we doing at that residence?” I asked lowly. It was taking everything I had not to do something dumb. 

“You’re stealing their surplus of medicines for Todd. We’ve gotten word that they’ve got a huge stock in the basement of their manor. You figure the rest out,” he dismissed. I thought for a long moment. 

“I think the Anarchists still have that map I drew up of the place,” I said to myself before turning to Isaac, “we should drop in for a visit before we go to the residence,” I mentioned as I returned to his side, “oh, and Michael, if we don’t come back, it’s not because we’re dead. It’s because we’re not in the mood to see you again today,” I concluded, putting my hand on Isaac’s back and leading him away, towards the hotel. Nobody said anything behind us; not Michael or Todd or Roma. 

“I wish you’d drop the idea that you need to protect me,” Isaac mumbled under his breath as we entered the hotel. He obviously didn’t want to talk about what just happened between him and Michael. 

“You like it,” I teased lightheartedly, letting my hand fall to the small of his back. I couldn’t feel his spine through the layers of clothes he was wearing, trying to stay warm. I knew I could keep him warm in my arms, and he’d probably let me do that, but I didn’t dare do anything more than what I was doing now, with my hand on his back. I don’t want him to be uncomfortable with me. Despite how close we are, I can’t risk it. Not after all of this. 

“I don’t,” he argued, obviously lying. 

“You do~” I insisted jokingly, earning a jab in the side with an elbow. His slight smile told me that he wasn’t truly upset and that I had probably cheered him up a bit with the teasing. 

I separated from Isaac as he stepped into his room, and I headed up to mine, walking directly to the mirror atop my dresser. I stared myself down in the dark room as I pulled my heavy gun over my shoulder. _I’m overthinking everything, aren’t I? Classic Leo._

I fixed my hair that was going everywhere and sticking out at weird angles because of my goggles that, over the past month, I had broken twice for the sole reason of watching Isaac fix them. _‘Seriously Leo? How hard is it just to keep them on your head?’_ he had asked the second time. The first time was an accident, but the second time, I had broken them by… well, let me retell the whole story. 

I had walked into the workshop when Isaac wasn’t there (I knew he was with Todd at the time,) and I asked Sai for a hammer, which he got for me. When he came back, I silently put my goggles on the desk he had been sitting at and smashed the right lens before simply leaving. 

_“Why did you do that?”_ He had asked, laughing slightly. 

_“Just want to keep Isaac busy,”_ I responded, smiling to myself. 

_“Alright,”_ he chuckled, _“I didn't see anything.”_

I shook myself out of my fond memory and left my room with my gun, going down one flight of stairs to find Isaac. I knocked quietly on his door and he responded with a quiet ‘come in,’ so I stepped in and shut the door behind me, leaning against the cold wood. He was currently looking at the mirror as I had been not long before, dragging his fingers along healed over scars. His brows furrowed slightly in his reflection, and his nose scrunched up a little bit as his golden gaze darted around his own face. He had never said it directly, but I had very quickly learned that he didn’t think he was as good looking as he is. He’s very obviously missing something. Or maybe it’s just me… but in that case he’s still wrong because at least _someone_ thinks he’s fucking gorgeous. 

He leaned away from the mirror ever so slightly and his shoulders relaxed, my gaze slipping down from his face to his hands that had now fallen to his sides. He rubbed them together in an attempt to keep them warm, and I would be lying if the thought of holding them in my own hands hadn’t crossed my mind. I mean, surely you already knew that’s what I was thinking about. I dropped my eyes from his hands down further, noticing that, of all the days, he chose to wear jeans today. I mean, it’s really cold out and we’ll be outside all day. Whatever, he must know that, and it’s his fault if he gets cold. I gave him one last look over, making sure he had his gun at his waist, before I was making accidental eye contact with him through the mirror, and, of course, like always, I found it hard to breathe all of a sudden. I blamed the cold air pickling at my lungs. I knew it was my heart. 

What made everything worse was that Isaac’s expression was completely unreadable. I had been getting better at understanding what everything he did meant, like the different types of chuckles (all of which I can’t stand; not because they’re bad, but the exact opposite,) the different kinds of silence (it tended to be pretty comfortable when it was just us,) and the different signals that he was annoyed or angry. 

Isaac is the kind of person that doesn’t show his emotions around other people. I say ‘other people’ because he’s usually really vocal about his feelings with me. _‘Michael said this,’_ or _‘Robbie made it very clear that he doesn’t like me today.’_ When Isaac’s mad, he doesn’t chew his fingernails, but digs his fingertips into his palms (which never worries me because his nails are so short,) and he’ll press his lips together in a way that he usually doesn’t. Trust me, I know a lot about what his mouth usually does, I’m constantly staring at it. He also tends to chew on the inside of his cheek if he’s talking to Michael, which must connect to the anger. 

I was suddenly _very_ aware that the eye contact never broke and we were still staring at each other. I tore my gaze away and stared hard at the floor, analyzing the old wood like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Like the most interesting thing in the world wasn’t standing five feet away from me. He shifted his posture slightly before walking over and gesturing for me to open the door, to which I obeyed immediately. 

“You look good today,” he commented simply as he walked past. 

“Yeah so do you,” I replied quickly as we walked back down the stairs, “you always look great. Beautiful, even. Uhh, well, I don’t mean,” I stuttered out afterwards, my brain working on autopilot. _Shut your stupid mouth Leo!_ “You know what I mean.”

“Do I? Maybe you should just try saying that all again,” he chuckled, and I knew he was just teasing me at this point. _Thank god he’s not mad._

I sighed, my breath fogging up the cold air. “You look good, too,” I repeated simply, and he smiled a tiny little smile as we walked outside. I took this as a chance to change the topic as quickly as I could. “So, like I said before, we should drop in for a visit with the Anarchists, then we’ll walk down to the Ashworth residence.”

“Forgive me for asking, but… the Anarchists… they’re not going to kill me, right?”

“What? No! Not at all. They’re a lot more civilized than the Syndicate, you’ll be fine. You might not even get catcalled,” I chuckled, recalling the first time I had taken him to the Syndicate. My little laugh made my lungs burn, but Isaac seemed to smile at the sound. I led us around to the west side of camp and we had to use a lighter to heat up the lock on the gate because it was frozen shut. Isaac had started carrying a lighter around with him after we stupidly started smoking a few weeks ago, simply because I wanted to see what it would look like for smoke to drift freely out past his lips. I don’t regret it. Also, it turns out it’s not as hard as I thought it would be to find cigarettes out here. Isaac lit one for himself as we walked into the streets of the city, snow covering the undriven roads. 

He handed one over to me and I placed it between my lips before leaning up to light it on the end of his already lit cigarette. This was the closest I could ever get to him, I knew that, so I just savoured the moment. It made my heart hurt, knowing I would never get closer than two cigarette lengths from him. I didn’t linger when he pulled away, instead turning my gaze down as I took a long drag. I allowed myself the privilege of watching Isaac working the cigarette down, speaking about pointless things as he did. 

“Did I ever tell you about the time my friend crashed my car?” He asked, and I shook my head slightly, watching a hot breath of smoke spill last his chapped lips. He smiled as he continued speaking. “Well I had an old 1967 Chevy Nova, and it had been in the family since it was pulled off the assembly line.”

“Wow, that’s really cool. I always wanted an old car, got stuck with a Toyota.”

“Yeah it was a beautiful car, I loved it with everything I had. Anyways, I lent it to a guy I went to uni with, and the next morning I find out that he slammed it into a fire hydrant. I had to spend like 12 grand to fix it,” he sighed, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. I was subconsciously doing the same, burning my lungs in such a good way. 

“Damn, that sucks,” I commented as he rubbed his hands together, his cigarette hanging between his lips. I don’t know what overcame me, but I reached over and grabbed his hands between mine and squeezed them gently. I didn’t want him to be cold, and I just felt this strange pull to keep him warm. I got this feeling sometimes, but it was only ever for Isaac. I hadn’t ever felt it towards anyone on the last 24 years of my life, just him. It was the overwhelming want to just… help him. Do things for him. Make him smile a real, genuine smile. If he needed something for something he was building, I wouldn’t think twice before getting it for him. If he just wanted someone to _listen,_ I’d listen. If he wanted someone to love him, I’d love him. I already do, I’m not afraid to admit that. 

I let go of his hands and looked around the streets. “See that building there? The black skyrise?” I pointed with my left hand as I wrapped my right one around his waist. 

“Yeah, isn’t that the old Samsung building?”

“Mhmm,” I hummed, “that's where the Anarchists live.” And with that, we kept on walking, talking about nothing in particular. As we neared the front of the building, I let go of Isaac and held onto the strap of my gun as we walked up to the front doors of the large building. Both of our cigarettes had been discarded on the ground somewhere behind us. 

“Oh, hello, Leo,” the man standing at the front of the building greeted. I couldn’t recognize him behind the dark gas mask he was wearing. All the Anarchists wore the same gas mask, not because the air wasn’t pure, but because aesthetic purposes. I mean, they looked cool, not going to lie. There was also always the doubt that the virus was airborne, that the government was lying, so some people were just cautious. Also, there were a lot of burned down buildings around, and new ones were constantly igniting, so it was just better not to breathe the smoke and ash in. 

“Hey, just stopping by to see if you guys still have the map I drew up of the Ashworth residence,” I explained as he led us inside, not even sparing a glance at Isaac. It was warmer inside the building than outside, thank god, and all three of us sighed in relief as we warmed up. 

“The Ashworth residence? We do, in fact, still have the map you drew. Actually, Billie was going to head up there today, fancy that,” the man explained as we followed him up a couple flights of stairs. 

“Billie? Billie Suskind?” I asked, red flags immediately raising. 

“Yessir. Weren’t you two together at one point?” He responded curiously. I tossed a quick glance to Isaac, who was looking at me with just as curious of an expression. 

“More of a pastime, there was no connecting,” I dismissed quickly. That part was true. I kept my gaze down, walking quickly beside the unnamed Anarchist. 

“Girlfriend, huh?” Isaac asked quietly, and I shot a glare at him. 

“Just don’t ask, she’s crazy.”

He rolled his remaining eye and looked around the clean office building, which is in a lot better state than our camp. 

“Oh, hey, there she is,” the Anarchist mentioned, and I was about to warn him, but he was already calling the girl named Billie over. She looked the same as she always did, even with her creepy gas mask on. Long, black hair, a bit shorter than me, same black attire. 

“Leo!” She gasped, jogging over. She pulled her gas mask off to show a wide smile and bright eyes. Definitely not as pretty as Isaac. “It’s been such a long time! I missed you! What’re you doing here?!” She exclaimed much too loudly. 

“Uhm, Isaac and I are just here to get the map I drew of the Ashworth residence, but we heard you were headed there as well…” I trailed off, taking a step back and bumping into Isaac. 

“Isaac? That’s a weird name,” she commented, looking Isaac over, “what’s up with your face?”

I didn’t know what to say in that instance. Isaac just blinked a couple times, his eyebrows drawn together as he reached up and ran a finger against one of his scars. 

“It’s not a weird name and there’s nothing wrong with his face,” I said softly, not even sure where my anger was at the moment. I think I was just too shocked.

“Wow, your standards dropped,” she continued. Isaac scoffed a bit before throwing an arm over my shoulders. _What the fuck is even happening?_

“Actually, I think his standards raised by quite a bit,” he defended sarcastically, and I found myself drifting into him, getting as close as I could.

“Ah, so you _are_ his boyfriend, huh?” 

“Oh, actually -” Isaac started immediately, but I just let my brain shut down and talked myself out of it without thinking.

“Yep, now can we leave? Get that map and go?” I asked Isaac quickly, watching him press his lips together in annoyance. He nodded ever so slightly and I led him over to another Anarchist. 

“Is Jack still in charge around here?” I questioned, tossing a glance back at Billie. She was giving a crazy death stare in our direction, so I buried my hand in Isaac’s back pocket. I’d never done that before, and I didn’t dare make eye contact with Isaac at that moment. 

“Yes, he is. Would you like to see him?” The Anarchist responded. 

“Yeah, as soon as possible, if that’s okay.”

“Of course, come with me,” she said happily, walking away swiftly. As soon as we were around the corner and away from Billie’s eyesight, we took a good two steps away from each other, Isaac’s arm falling from my shoulders and my hand ripping itself out of his pocket. He laughed a weak laugh. 

“You weren’t lying about her being crazy,” he mentioned.

“Thanks for having my back.”

“Of course. I always will.”

We were taken up a couple more floors before the Anarchist we were following raised a hand up and waved, calling out “Hey Jack, look who’s here!”

Jack didn’t have his gas mask on, and he looked just as he did the last time I saw him, which was maybe four or five months ago. Before Isaac and before Des, at least. 

“Ah, Leo, long time no see, welcome back,” he greeted, scratching his short black beard as he walked over. He held a hand out to Isaac, who shook it shyly. He went from normal Isaac to ‘I’m not going to react any differently to Leo saying I’m his boyfriend,’ to shy Isaac. I was just so confused. You don’t understand what’s going on in my head right now. _Did he mean it? Does he want that to happen? Please lord say yes, say yes, say yes._

“So Isaac and I need the map of the Ashworth residence I gave you guys a few years ago. I heard Billie was headed there, but it’s… urgent,” I explained as best I could despite my cluttered thoughts. 

“Oh, you’re going there too? Why don’t you just go together?”

“Uh, no?” I requested, and at the same time, Isaac said “oh no, we can’t.”

“Whyever not? Didn’t you… oh. I understand. Uhm, it would be great if you’d let her come along anyways. What are you two even looking for?” Jack asked curiously, trying to figure it all out in his head.

“We’re going to go steal all their medicine. Apparently they have a stockpile,” I told him, shifting uncomfortably.

“Todd still trying to make a cure to the virus?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled quietly. It had been so long and we didn’t seem to be making any progress… god I’m a wreck of emotions right now. I just needed absurd amounts of alcohol and a sweet kiss from Isaac, which I wouldn’t get either of. 

“Here, how about this? You meet Billie there, she’ll get you two in through the back, and then you can split up. She’s looking for some weird battery thing. She called it a ‘uranium processor’ or something?”

“A uranium processor?! Those are…” Isaac blurted out before trailing off cautiously, “they’re actually pretty useless. I wouldn’t send someone into a high security building just to get one of those.”

“She seemed to think it was important,” Jack said, confusion crossing his face. 

“I know a lot about that kind of stuff, I almost have a masters degree for it. They’re not good for much unless you have… extraordinary amounts of power. More than the whole city combined, I’m afraid,” Isaac explained, and I was trying to figure out whether or not I had heard of a uranium processor before. 

“Hm. Maybe I should send her just in case, though. Surely it can’t be completely useless?” Jack tried to reason. I was beginning to realize that Isaac was getting annoyed, judging by his breathing pattern and how he had his lips pressed tightly together. His fists were also tightly clenched beside him, but I couldn’t figure out why he was getting upset. Maybe it’s because Jack isn’t listening to him. 

“I’m telling you, you need actual uranium to power one of those. I’m sure there’s no uranium left in the city at this point.” Isaac paced around in a circle, probably trying to calm himself down from whatever was annoying him. 

“I’ll send her anyways. It won’t cause any harm. Besides, she knows how to keep herself safe,” Jack concluded, and Isaac huffed a long breath out of his nose. 

“I need a smoke, I’ll be outside if you need me,” he said, turning to walk back down the several flights of stairs. I let him go.

“So we’ll meet Billie there?” I asked quietly. 

“Do you have a working watch?” He requested, and I pulled my pocket watch out of my jacket, the chain wrapping around my fingers. “Great. Meet her there at noon. I’ll tell her to go to… Down street, go there,” he said, going into a large desk near the corner of the room and digging through it. After a few minutes, he returned with a folded piece of paper, that, once unfolded, showed a chicken scratch map that I had thrown together years ago. I could read it, at least. It looked familiar to me. 

“Thank you. The Syndicate owes you one. See you another time,” I dismissed, turning and walking out of the room as fast as I could. I pulled on the chain of my pocket watch and glanced at the time - 10:23 am. So we have an hour and a half before we have to meet Billie at the back of the estate. Luckily, on the way out of the building, I didn’t run into the girl, and stepped out into the bitter cold alone. There was another Anarchist sitting in front of the door, keeping watch. 

“You came here with the tall lad with the missing eye, right?” He asked as I glanced around. 

“Yeah, where’d he go?”

“Sitting over there in the snow. Kinda hard to see him,” he said, pointing across the road. I noticed Isaac and walked over to him without another word, and when he noticed me, he stood up, brushing his legs off. 

“Alright, the medicine is going to come second. We need that uranium processor,” he spoke quickly, rubbing his hands together. 

“What even is it?” I asked as he followed me down the road. 

“A battery that won’t stop running for another 100 years,” he said brusquely. “We’re gonna need it if we want to mess with the surveyors.”

“Oh. So you were lying about it being worthless?” I continued, trying to piece everything together. 

“Obviously. Also, that guy was pissing me off. He wasn’t listening. Seemed kind of stupid, I won’t lie,” he mentioned. 

“Well I’m stupid too.”

“You’re not stupid, you’re a moron, and a clever one at that,” he said, and the way he said it made it sound like he believed himself. 

“When’s the last time you lied to someone?” I asked curiously.

“Probably a few hours ago. I lie all the time,” he spoke like it was obvious. I turned my gaze to his and my jaw dropped a bit. “Not to you! I’ve never lied to you! And if I have it was something stupid that you shouldn’t worry about, I promise,” he spoke quickly. Truthfully. _Please stop, my emotions are all over the place as is._

“...okay. I believe you. Uhm… So we’re supposed to meet Billie near the residence in an hour and a half,”

“ _Ugh_ we can’t - I can’t work with her, it won’t go well.”

“Got any better suggestions?” I asked. 

“We break in before she even shows up, find the Uranium Processor, then get out and meet her where we’re supposed to. That way she can’t go back to the Anarchists and say that you lied, right?” He offered, staring off into the distance. 

My heart fluttered in my chest. “God, you’re so smart,” I said quietly, and he smiled a small little smile. I’d be lying if I didn’t expect a little bit more than that, whether that was some blushing or him looking away shyly… something seemed off. Or maybe it’s just me. 

“I’m guessing you’re agreeing with me?”

“I always will,” I told him, and then there was silence. No more words were exchanged for a while, but something _did_ happen. When I stepped closer and tried to wrap my arm around his waist, he _stepped away._ He’s never done that before. Something was definitely wrong, but I couldn’t just _ask._ What would I say? _‘Why’d you step away from me, I want to hold you because I’m too much of a coward to tell you how I feel, but you must know that already, and you’re not mentioning it, so maybe it’s because you’re not into it.’_

_Not into me._

_Fuck._

That’s what I’ve been missing. That’s what’s changed. _Now_ he knows. He didn’t before. He must’ve just realized it. What am I supposed to do now? Act like nothing changed? Apologize? Confess everything to him? I feel like I’m drowning. 

“So where are we going exactly? Like I said before, I don’t really know the area,” he said nonchalantly. 

“Oh - uh, it’s like a ten minute walk from here,” I told him as I buried my hands in my pockets. He acted all casual for the rest of the walk to the Ashworth residence, which my brain couldn’t compute. He was being normal again. Maybe it’s him? Maybe he’s feeling confused and it’s just confusing me too? _First it was Michael, then it was Billie, then it was Jack - he’s just having a bad day._

“Surely people don’t like to live so close to the Anarchist headquarters, right?” He continued curiously, chewing on the nails of his left hand. He didn’t seem nervous, so I’m not sure what was making him do that. 

“No, not very many people do. These people - the Ashworth’s, I mean - are too cocky for their own good and don’t think the Anarchists could do anything to them,” I explained casually, loving the way he nodded slightly and softly said ‘ah, okay, makes sense.’

After a few minutes, I smiled a stupid smile. “Y’know what my favourite kind of tea is?” I asked randomly, and he looked at me like I was crazy. 

“Since when did you even like tea?” He questioned in his raspy voice. I snorted before telling the punchline. 

“Tea-quila,” I told him through giggles, and he rolled his eyes.

“Oh good lord, Leo, that was horrible,” he said before laughing that beautiful laugh. That fucking awe inducing, soul-striking, heartstring pulling laugh. The rasp of his voice went away when he laughed, giving off a clear sound that sent shivers down my spine more than when he’s just woken up and his scratchy voice is ten times groggier. In simple terms, his laugh made me happy. 

When we got to the Ashworth residence, we hopped a fence a few houses down and came through the backyard of the large building. I unfolded the map in my pocket and studied it quickly. 

“That’s fucking illegible,” Isaac commented as he held his pistol low. We were crouched behind a cobblestone wall in the back garden of the residence. Isaac leaned over my shoulder and I shuddered as I felt his hot breath drift down my neck. 

“You know what my writing looks like, fuck off,” I chuckled, looking at the back exit of the map. I recognized everything around here. Can’t remember what I did here a few years ago, but I remember the layout. I peeked over the wall and pointed at a small door. “That goes to the boiler room, there’s a path from there up to the top floor we can follow. I’ll assume that uranium whatchamacallit is up there, then we can backtrack and meet Billie down on Down street,” I explained quickly. Isaac chuckled when I said ‘whatchamacallit’, which made my heart flutter. He seemed excited to do this with me. 

We made our way quickly into the boiler room without being seen, then wound our way silently through the hallways, following my map. Isaac pointed at the map, mouthing something to me. I gave him a look that told him I didn’t understand, so he leaned in close and whispered in my ear. 

“Utility room, take me there,” he said, and I almost forgot to listen as his breath ghosted across my cheek and - I melted. His lips grazed the shell of my ear as he pulled away. It meant nothing, I know that, but all my senses were on high alert and I just wanted to turn and smash my lips into his. Sometimes I wish I could just rewind time so that he could forget, y’know?

I gathered my thoughts together, looked at the poorly drawn map in my hands, and cautiously left the boiler room with Isaac following close behind. I noticed his hands were shaky on his pistol so I gave the map one last once over before swapping it for Isaac’s gun. Now, you know I’m going to say it - hands. Our hands danced across each other and of course it made my heart swell, but I couldn’t focus on that at the moment. 

The halls of the manor were relatively empty, minus the odd employee which was probably being paid in table scraps and a stone mattress. Isaac reached forward and tapped on my shoulder once we reached a short little corridor bordered with large wooden doors and had extravagant chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. His eyes caught on the crystals hanging from the ceiling before he looked back down and nodded towards a smaller door near the corner of the hall. That must’ve been the utility room, based on him looking back down at the map and squinting his one good eye, trying to decipher what looked like hieroglyphics. He nodded to himself, then looked back up at me and smiled slightly, gesturing towards the door again. 

I turned and led the way, peering into a nearby room that we had to pass - it was dark, but a giant floor to ceiling stained glass window painted pastel colours across the floor from the afternoon sun. 

“It’ll be a shame when this place gets burned to the ground,” Isaac whispered, “it’s beautiful, don’t you think?” His eyes never left the window as he crouched next to me. 

“Very much so,” I agreed, watching his eye sparkle in the light. He looked away quickly, back down the hall.

“Now’s not the time,” he declared, pulling me away from that room and towards our original goal. The door was locked, but that didn’t stop Isaac, because he took out a small device that looked like a key with no grooves attached to a longer rod. He stuck it in the lock, pressed a button on the device, and it began making a quiet buzzing noise. After it stopped buzzing, he turned it like a normal key and the door opened for us, both of us disappearing inside immediately. A small light turned on as we entered, and I prayed that it was motion activated. Isaac looked at the key in his hands, and I noticed that there were now grooves along the edge of the key. I’d have to ask about it later. 

The room wasn’t big, but it also wasn’t as full as you’d expect a utility room to be. 

“Bingo,” Isaac whispered, approaching what appeared to be a large generator. There it was - the uranium processor - just plugged into the top of it, nothing to protect it. He reached to unplug it, but hesitated. “It’ll shut down the whole building. We’ll have to get out without any light and with people trying to figure out what’s wrong.”

“Uh, okay, here, look at the map,” I suggested, and we spent a good minute and a half planning our escape route - down to a second floor room where we could jump out of a window and onto the body-transferring train’s tracks. Isaac took a deep breath before ripping the processor out and turning to me quickly. Just like that, the lights dimmed and the generator stopped growling. I couldn’t see anything anymore, as there weren’t any windows in this room, but I felt Isaac’s hand on my shoulder as I opened the door and peeked out into the hall. It was slightly illuminated by the stained glass window in the other room, and I led Isaac back the way we had come from. His hand slid down from my shoulder and I didn’t even process his fingers tangling with mine, but that was definitely for the better. 

My other hand tightened its grip on Isaac’s pistol as we descended a staircase down to the second floor. I stopped abruptly at the bottom when a woman no older than either of us stepped into the light pouring through a window down the hall. Isaac dragged me back into the shadows as the girl looked over at us. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She whispered, and my heart dropped into my stomach. 

“Ugh, it’s you,” Isaac groaned, and then I realized - it was Billie. I never thought I’d be so happy to see her. Not that I was happy, more so relieved. 

“Why are you here? I told you to meet me outside,” she hissed as she sneaked over. 

“We saw an opening, figured we’d picked up the medicine when we had the chance,” I lied, squeezing Isaac’s warm hand unconsciously. 

“Yeah, we passed what looked like a utility room on the first floor,” Isaac continued, “I’m going to bet that processor is down there.”

“Oh, alright, thank you. Now get the fuck out,” she insisted, turning and leaving down the stairs. Isaac and I flashed smiles of victory to each other before heading down the hallway, towards the room that was above the train tracks. Two people passed us hiding in the shadows, but luckily they were both distracted in fixing the power problem. The room above the tracks wasn’t anything special, just some sort of… make-shift art gallery or something. Everything looked pretentious and over the top, but neither me nor Isaac were interested. Our hands drifted apart as I closed the door behind us and Isaac went and popped a medium sized window open. 

“Haha, just our luck,” he said quietly as I stepped beside him. In the distance, the body-transferring train was rolling slowly down the tracks. “We can get a ride closer to home instead of walking.”

“Hopefully it’s empty,” I chuckled as he climbed up onto the windowsill, helping me up beside him. Our hands connected again as he zipped up his jacket’s pockets that had both his key tool, the unneeded rewriting tool, and the fabled uranium processor. 

“It’s too bad we couldn’t get that medicine though. Maybe we can come back later,” he suggested as the train rolled closer. It luckily wasn’t going too fast, but we’d only have a few seconds to jump into the train car. 

“So we’re going home, then? I’m not too interested in talking to Michael,” I told him, but he shrugged. 

“We can stay out a little later if you’d like, but Anthony’s cooking, and I don’t want to miss that,” he explained, “also, we shouldn’t carry the processor around, we’ve got to lock it up behind three doors.”

“Right, that’s a good point,” I agreed, and the train approached closer. 

When it was just below us, Isaac pulled me off the windowsill and we dropped into the open-roofed train car. 

“Oh good lord,” he groaned as he looked at the three bodies that had been thrown into the car as well. 

“Poor souls.” I turned my gaze away from the bodies that luckily hadn’t been riddled with the virus, but killed by someone else. Majority of the bodies the government shipped off to pits weren’t plague victims, as they didn’t want to touch those bodies. Isaac looked up into the sky before climbing up onto the ledge of the car, watching where we were going. 

“Where’s the nearest body pit?” He asked as I joined him up on the rusty edge. 

“Uhm… like a half mile walk from our camp,” I recalled. He slid back down into the car. 

“Might as well wait, then.” He wiped his hands on his jeans roughly, grimacing at the idea of touching the sides of the car. “So… that lie we pulled off might stab you in the back,” he pointed out. 

“I have a feeling that Billie won’t have time to find the processor,” I said as I paced a circle around him, checking him out subtly. I held my hands together as the reality of holding Isaac’s dawned on me. “They’ll probably have a witch-hunt when they find out that it’s gone and she’ll be on the wrong floor.”

After a good ten minute ride on the automated body disposing train, it began to slow down before the whole car tilted over rapidly. 

“Fuck!” Isaac blurted out as he rolled out of the car, and I wasn’t too far behind. I landed with a hard thud in a pit full of rotting bodies as the train chugged away. 

“Isaac? You okay?” I asked as I sat up and pulled something gross and unidentifiable out of my hair. The smell couldn’t even be described as bad _,_ it was _revolting_.

“Physically? Yes,” he responded as he sat up, “mentally? Absolutely not.” He gagged as he looked at the pool of decomposing bodies and vile liquids - nothing black and sticky, though, I made sure to check us both for that. Our eyes met and I couldn’t help but smile as wide as humanly possible at that bastard. He flipped me the middle finger before trying to push himself out of the goop of bodies. I climbed up to stand and helped him out, grabbing both of his hands. Once he was standing, I picked him up bridal style and he flailed helplessly.

“Put me the fuck down!” He laughed, bunching his hands in my jacket. Once I got us a good 20 meters away, I reluctantly put him down and we made a long, lingering eye contact. I noticed his eyes drift down a little bit, and my heart jumped. _Holy fuck please kiss me right now please it’s all I need to forget about everything-_

He gasped and patted his pockets quickly. “The processor,” he said, unzipping his pocket and pulling the weird, alien looking capsule out. He stepped back from me and began walking down the street, examining it closely. I sighed and jogged after him, following beside him. _Damn, maybe someday._

“Is it alright?”

“Looks like it, thank god,” he smiled, relieved. He pulled his jacket off and looked at the patches of body juice that had soaked into it, scrunching his nose up. I reached over and took it from him, folding it over my shoulder. “Thanks,” he smiled, rubbing his bare arms, trying to warm himself up. His tattoos showed under his short sleeves, and I’d studied them extensively before. On his left arm was a digital esque design, looking like parts of a computer - super realistic, I thought it was beautiful. On his right arm was an abstract design of flowing lines, thick, black shapes. He had mentioned before that he had stars tattooed on his back and a snake with a dagger on his ribs. I hoped I’d see them eventually.

“No worries, you look a lot better without whatever the fuck that might be on you,” I joked, and then _it_ happened. 

He leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I think I owe you that,” he said quietly, looking away. I walked on autopilot, reaching up to touch my cheek, where Isaac’s soft lips had been moments before. “Anyways, I was thinking - Michael, right? How can we just… avoid him entirely?” He changed the subject like nothing had happened. 

“Uh… sorry let me gather my thoughts,” I chuckled, dropping my hand from my cheek, “just ignore him, I guess,” I answered, and he sighed

“I knew you’d say that. It’s been kind of a bad day, with Billie and the bodies and stuff.”

“I’ve had a _fantastic_ day,” I smiled, scratching my arm gently. Isaac rolled his eyes and a red tint dusted his cheeks.

“Of course you have,” he said sarcastically, licking his lips slightly, “doesn’t take much to brighten your day, clearly.”

“Not when it comes to you, it doesn't,” I told him, my confidence sky high. Nothing could bring me down now, not even the faint smell of rotting flesh or the idea that that might be the only kiss I’d ever get from him. 

“Alright, so you said we’re not far from home?” He asked, looking back up the street. 

“No, only a 10 minute walk or so,” I explained, but I got caught on something, “I noticed you keep calling it ‘home’. You were pretty against that idea before.”

“Hmm? Oh, well, I guess - I don’t know, what else would I call it?”

“I mean, you could call it -” I began. 

“Don’t answer that,” he cut me off, a tiny smile touching the corners of his mouth. “I’ve got nothing else to call home.”

I watched as his eye landed on the buildings rising above us. Most of them were made of stone bricks and wood, maybe a little bit of metal, indicating that this had been a poorer area of the city before the virus broke out. 

“Didn’t an air strike happen around here?” He asked, his voice quieting as he started chewing on his nails. 

“Couple blocks over,” I answered, “I was there, actually.”

His gaze shot down to me and his hand dropped. “Oh, Leo, I - that’s awful,” he said sympathetically. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

I chuckled a little, lightening the mood. “Now that’s a stupid thing to say, of course I got hurt. Obviously I didn’t get the worst of it though,” I explained. 

“What happened? Like, I know what happened but - I’m just curious, y’know?” He spoke like he was guilty of asking that question. I offered him a smile, trying to imply that I didn’t mind talking about it.

“One of those… ugh, I can’t think of what they’re called, the big, round things that still use beetle oil and - and they have the huge tanks on the back, y’know? I assume that’s what the oil is kept in but wouldn’t that make the thing catch on fire?” I started going off on a tangent, but Isaac interrupted.

“An airship?”

“That’s the one! It was a big fucker and it shot a couple rockets down, decimated the block. Think it killed a few hundred people or something.” I explained. 

“To think we saw those airships every day circling above us and then - boom - we’re all dying,” he pointed out sadly, “as a kid, every morning I’d wait to watch the one that always passed over my apartment.”

“Why do they still use beetle oil? I thought the government was trying to stop people from using it and convert it all to nuclear,” I asked curiously. 

“Lots of things still use it. Or, well, they _did_. It’s cheap and there’s a huge amount of the beetles left. I mean, you get attacked by them during the summer in the innermost parts of town still,” he chuckled, scratching his arm like he could feel one. I never had any memorable experiences with the little red beetles that the entire world had been burning in order to power their cities, since they didn’t like the ocean winds and the power plants were on the opposite side of town, but I heard they were nasty little things that bit pretty hard. 

“Could you give me an example of something that does use it?”

“Most factories that need a heat supply, light sources in cheaper areas, cars still have them in them,” he listed off the top of his head. 

“I thought cars were totally green?”

“Mostly, they just don’t mention the parts that aren’t so people still buy them,” he explained. 

“Also, the light bulbs,” I began, “that’s why the pipes go through all the buildings, I know, but that’s probably why so many buildings burnt down - the bugs in the pipes caught on fire.”

He clicked his tongue in that way that always immediately caught my attention. “Bingo,” he agreed, “it’s always the bugs that cause buildings to burn down. Someone leaves a stove on or something, the pipes get hot, then the bugs ignite. ‘S why people pay so much for nuclear, it’s so much safer.”

“It’s a good thing Sai and Roma closed off all the pipes in the buildings around us then,” I pointed out, “it was years ago they did that.”

“Thank god, the bugs drive me up the wall. The place I stayed at when I was in uni had beetle lighting systems and I could never sleep because the bastards were always knocking around in the pipes.”

“No soundproof pipes there?” I asked, but it was more of a statement. 

“It was the cheapest place in the area, the tenants couldn’t afford that,” he sighed.

“Must’ve been agony, I never had to deal with that,” I sympathized. 

“Well yeah, you worked in a money laundering scheme, you could afford nuclear,” he said, laughing slightly. 

“Hey, money’s money. I got jailed for it once, y’know?” I told him, having fond memories of the time. “Two months, it was kind of fun to be honest.”

“Our prison system sucks ass, it gives everyone in it luxuries,” he pointed out, “like they gave me a scholarship after I got out,” he continued, chuckling. 

“You fucking what? _You_ were in prison?” I uttered out, completely surprised. Then again, a lot of the stuff Isaac did or has done in the past surprised me. All the computer stuff was one thing, then there was the fact that he had tattoos all down his arms and used to drive a vintage car and knows how to make explosives and got in lots of trouble as a teenager. I just couldn’t picture him doing anything like that but it made me fall 1000 times more in love with him every time I found out something new. 

“I hacked into the archives, the government hunted me down like I had murdered a bunch of people,” he explained, proud of his achievements.

“Of course someone like you could get into the archives,” I smiled in wonder. 

“It wasn’t even that hard, to be honest. Anyways, I got 4 months, then they said they wanted me to work _in_ the government so they gave me a scholarship and told me to come back when I had finished.”

“Wow, you got lucky, you probably could’ve gotten life had you not been so good with computers,” I mentioned, “so what was all in the archives? I know they’re super tightly kept and nobody can look at them.”

“It’s got lots of stuff in it, but there’s three main sections: the information of all the people, the camera systems around the city, and the money,” he explained, sticking out a finger for each of his points. 

“Damn I wish I had known you back then, you could’ve given me a bunch of credit card numbers,” I chuckled, “we also could’ve just… lived a normal life together,” I wished, my mind immediately going to places I had thought of extensively before. 

“‘Together’? What are you insinuating there?” He asked, but he obviously knew what was going through my head. _It would’ve been normal for me to just ask you out and we would’ve dated for a bit before you’d move in with me and maybe we could’ve had a dog or something but no, we’re stuck here in this wasteland and I can’t gather the courage to tell you how I feel because everything is somehow so different and I can’t lose you now._

“Eh, I don’t know, we could’ve been friends earlier I guess. You’d’ve been great for the syndicate back then,” I said instead, and he rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not so sure money laundering would’ve been a business I’d be good in,” he chuckled, “I’m not the kind of person who wants to steal from people.”

“Yeah, you’re a good guy, I wouldn’t expect you to,” I told him, smiling slightly. 

“You’re not so bad yourself, y’know? I don’t hold your past against you, considering it got you this far,” he mentioned, knocking the back of his hand against my arm. “You might’ve met your end quite a while ago.”

“Honestly, you’re right,” I agreed, laughing a little bit, “I was quite the coward a couple years ago.”

He looked at me, disbelieving. “No way, you can’t tell me that.”

“It’s true,” I said, scratching my neck, “I never would’ve gotten in any fights or voiced my opinion. Just wasn’t something I did back then.”

“I could never even begin to imagine that,” he said, shaking his head slightly. 

“What, am I just that brave now? That impressive?” I joked, not expecting the answer I got. 

“Of course you are, don’t be stupid,” he scoffed, looking away from me. 

“Oh - I - thank you,” I smiled wide, feeling the same warm feeling inside as I did whenever Isaac laughed, or made a joke, or insulted Michael, or… the list goes on and on. 

We turned onto the street that our base was on, passing the large factory that had been completely gutted of anything important. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever asked: what did that factory use to make?” He asked, nodding towards the building. 

“Uh, good question. I think it might’ve been pens and stuff, like stationary,” I explained, “it’s where Robbie got that stupid pen from.”

“Oh my god he loves that pen, it’s pretty cute. That little pipe cleaner worm on a string too, he never puts it down,” he chuckled, and the heat in my chest turned into a pang of jealousy, “what? Oh don’t give me that look, you’re cuter.”

“I’m not jealous, why would you think I’m jealous?” I said quickly, my mind bouncing around my head. 

“I never said you were, but you clearly are,” he laughed, “you don’t have to get jealous over Robbie of all people, you know you’re my type.” He looked down and started chewing on his nails. 

I exhaled, realizing I had been holding my breath. “Thank whoever’s out there,” I chuckled a smile crossing my face again. Isaac gestured pointlessly. 

“Your skull must be so thick,” he sighed, shaking his head slightly. 

“You’re only just now realizing that?” I asked jokingly, and he punched me lightly. 

“Leo, the amount of hints I’ve dropped today is ridiculous and you haven’t picked up on any of them,” he said, completely deadpanned, “at this point I can’t tell if I’m going too fast or you’re going too slow.”

“I - I’m going slow?” I said to myself, “I thought - well, I was worried - I was under the impression that I might be going too _fast.”_

“Please just shoot your shot eventually,” he mentioned, sending a small smile to me as we got into camp, “take all the time you need, though. I can wait if I need to.”

“Oh, you’re back!” Roma cheered as she jogged up to us, “Todd was worried you wouldn’t bring the medicine back with you and-”

“We didn’t,” Isaac interrupted. 

“You didn’t what?” Michael’s voice cut through my skull as he walked up behind us. Isaac sighed loudly. 

“Don’t,” Isaac warned immediately, not even looking at Michael. 

“You fucked it all up, didn’t you?” Michael sighed, rubbing his temples, “I knew I shouldn’t have sent you two together.”

“Hey, we didn’t do anything wrong-” I started, but Michael cut me off.

“Just stop talking, Leo,” he said, “you used to never argue with me and suddenly everything changed when this bastard showed up.”

“Fuck you,” Isaac said simply. He shared one last apologetic look with me before turning and walking away, presumably looking for Todd. Roma looked at the ground, uncomfortable with what she just witnessed. We all knew Isaac and Michael hated each other, and things like this happened a lot, but I wasn’t mentioned very often. 

“So did you get what Todd asked for?” Michael asked bitterly.

“No, we got something better,” I mumbled, starting to walk away as well. 

“You were asked to get _one_ thing and you messed it up?” He sighed. I ignored the rest of what he said and went into the workshop across the street. 

“Hey kid,” Sai greeted as I walked in, “that sounded rough out there.”

“Michael’s being a dick again,” I told him, sitting down on top of Isaac’s desk in the corner of the room. I folded up his body-juicy jacket and put it on the corner of the desk. 

“I wish he’d give Isaac a break, he’s such a good guy,” he said, walking over to where I was. 

“You don’t have to tell me that,” I scoffed, “someone other than me needs to tell him that, because I don’t think he believes me.”

“You’re right,” he agreed, “so how did it go?”

“Isaac seemed to think well,” I told him, glad of the topic change, “we didn’t get any of the medicine Todd asked for but we found this thing, Ize called it a ‘uranium processor’.”

“You what?! Oh my god Leo that’s awesome!” He blurted out, nearly dropping the book he was holding. 

“Hey, it was all Isaac, give him the credit,” I chuckled. 

“How’d you find it?” He asked curiously.

“Do you remember Billie? The girl from the Anarchists?”

“What, the girl with the black hair? Didn’t you date her?” He continued.

“Ugh, don’t mention that, watching as your ex and your best friend who you’re absolutely in love with argue is so awkward,” I chuckled, “but yeah, that’s her. She was going to go look for it, I don’t know where she found out about it from.”

“Well she was good for something,” he laughed.

My world lit up as Isaac walked into the room with the smallest trace of a smile on his face. Todd was walking next to him, trying to understand whatever Isaac was talking about. 

“It’s basically a never ending 150 volt battery,” Isaac explained, gesturing to the processor in his hand, “well, we don’t know how much juice is left in it but it must be over 50 years worth, so we’re good for a long time.”

Sai turned away from me and walked over to Isaac and Todd, joining their conversation eagerly. I didn’t understand most of what they were talking about, but that could’ve been because I was incredibly distracted and lost in my own world. Today was a good day, despite this little hiccup with Michael. I mean, Isaac _kissed_ me and then said I was _his type_ and that he _wanted_ me to make a move but he’d wait as long as he needed to for it to happen. I almost felt guilty for being so worried about him not being interested.

“Oh! I caught wind that the soldiers are all gathering in town square in two days,” Todd mentioned, which grabbed my attention. “Michael, Roma, and I were thinking that that would be the perfect opportunity to go check the underground storage unit and look for a surveyor, since there won’t be as many guards.”

“That’s a great idea, considering now we have this,” Isaac agreed, gesturing to the processor that Sai was now holding, “I can use it to power a computer and reprogram the surveyor a lot easier than just taking a laser to a hundred computer chips and trying to melt them together in a way that would change the programming.”

“Who all would be going?” Sai asked, and Todd looked over at me. 

“Well, Michael wants to go, which probably means that Leo can’t,” he answered apologetically. 

“Damn, I’m not up for arguing,” I sighed, sliding off the desk and joining the three of them. 

“Hey, I mean, someone has to stay back here and make sure nobody dies,” Isaac reasoned, giving me a look that I knew said ‘I want you there, you know I do’ better than words could. 

“I guess you’re right about that,” I smiled as best I could.

“Anyways, Destiny was saying she wanted to come along too, that she wants to go do something adventurous for once,” Todd chuckled. “Roma wants to go as well, she mentioned that someone had to be there to stop Isaac and Destiny from killing Michael.”

“Me and Des would tear him apart if we had the chance,” Isaac mumbled. 

After a few more minutes of them chatting about this plan and me just listening in, Jean peeked into the workshop through the garage door. “Dinners ready.”

Sai put the processor in a lockbox as we all left the building and followed Jean down to the bar. Jean slowed down to talk quietly to Isaac and I.

“Are you two doing okay?” She asked, sounding like a worried mother like she always did. 

“Yes,” both of us replied in unison, not too interested in getting a pep talk from her. 

“Are you sure? I know you aren’t on the greatest terms with Michael but I need you both to know that you’re doing great,” she rambled on, and Isaac sighed. 

“Jean, we’re fine. Please stop worrying,” Isaac asked as politely as he could. We both knew she was trying to be nice but she always tended to come off a bit clingy. She left us alone as we got into the bar and Isaac and I went to sit where we normally do, across from Des and Robbie.

“Hey guys! We heard you had some good luck today,” Des smiled, “well, other than something to do with Michael.”

“Let’s not,” I told her, drawing the line in the sand as soon as I could. She nodded in acknowledgment, looking over at Robbie, who was pulling his red hair down in front of his eyes. 

“What are you doing?” She asked him curiously. 

“I like the colour,” he answered simply, almost sounding like a normal person. 

“I think I still have a credit card that’s the same colour, if you’d like it,” Isaac offered, shifting so he could grab his old wallet out of his back pocket. 

“Oh, yes please,” Robbie requested, looking at Isaac’s hands as he searched through his wallet. 

“Here it is.” He slid the card across the table. “It’s a little dull, everything got soaked when I jumped into that river near the Wall.”

“Thank you,” he smiled, moving the card so that the light from the lantern sitting at the edge of the table bounced off of it. The lantern was meant to be hooked up to a pipe and bugs pumped through it, but we’ve been using candles for what must’ve been at least two years now. 

After a few minutes of chatting, Anthony came over with four bowls of soup, which was different than what we had had yesterday. 

“Smells good,” I told him, and he smiled. 

“It tastes good too, considering I didn’t have very much salt left,” he mentioned as he walked over to Todd and Jean. While we were eating, I mentioned Billie to Robbie and he scrunched his nose up and groaned. 

“She was the worst! All she ever did was complain,” he exclaimed, and Isaac chuckled. Destiny had never met the girl, so she didn’t really have an opinion on her yet. At a random point during our conversation, I glanced down and my gaze got caught on Isaac’s hand that was simply resting on his thigh. My confidence had been sky high for the majority of the day, and it was probably at its peak now, so I reached over and laid my hand on top of his. He paused whatever he was talking about for a faction of a second, glancing over at me, then continued talking, a smile stretching across his lips. He flipped his hand over under mine and curled his fingers between my own, still speaking to Robbie and Des like nothing had happened. At this point it was normal for me to zone out and just stare at Isaac, so nobody mentioned anything, and thankfully he never minded the attention.

In my numerous past relationships, I had never been too interested in casual physical contact, but when it came to Isaac, it was the exact opposite. I _wanted_ to be near him, to hold his hand and hug him and run my hands across the back of his neck and… I could go on forever, honestly. 

After maybe an hour, Isaac decided that he was pretty tired and that he was going to head to bed, and I had to agree with him. It had been a long day for both of us and sleep sounded really nice at the moment. His warm hand slipped from mine as he stood up, but he beckoned me to follow him outside. 

Once we got outside, the cold air hit my skin and made me shiver slightly. It took me only a few seconds to realize that Isaac was just in a sweater. I went to take my jacket off, aiming to give it to him, but he stopped me before I had a chance. 

“You’re wearing short sleeves under that, don’t worry about it,” he chuckled, “besides, we're only like 30 meters away, I can survive.”

“Fine,” I sighed jokingly, “don’t complain to me when you get sick though.” 

His fingers threaded through mine again. “I’ll get you sick too,” he threatened light-heartedly, “y’know, I never took you as the hand holding type.”

“I’m not,” I pointed out, “or I wasn’t before I met you.”

“I must be special, huh?” He mused, but I could tell he meant it as a joke. 

“You are,” I smiled to him, squeezing his hand. 

“Oh please,” he began. We got into the hotel that had been retrofitted into little apartments and he sighed in relief at the warmth. It wasn’t _warm_ in the building, but the wind couldn’t bite at us anymore. Up on the second floor was where Isaac’s room was, I followed him to the door down the hall. 

“Well, I hope you sleep well,” I told him in a quieter voice. 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” he responded in just as quiet of a voice. His voice was also just that tiny bit more scratchy because he was tired, and I absolutely loved it. I looked down after a moment and coughed slightly before starting to walk away. “Hey,” he began, causing me to stop in my tracks and turn to look back at him. He took a few steps over to me before pushing my hair off of my forehead and pressing a kiss between my eyebrows. He smiled as he leaned back, and a similar smile stretched across my own face as he pulled my goggles off my forehead and dropped them over my eyes, tinting the world blue. It was something he did on a regular basis, and it always seemed to brighten his life a little more, which caused me to be just as happy. 

“Alright, seriously though,” he chuckled, “goodnight.” He turned to walk back to his room. 

“Goodnight,” I returned, scratching the back of my neck as I watched him close his door. This whole day made me just want to scream ‘hell fucking yeah!’ at the top of my lungs. I kept quiet, though, and headed off to bed myself, dreaming a dream about an idiot with a glowing battery. 


	5. Robots and Guards

_ Isaac Patel, winter 2157. _

I carefully packed a box of fragmenters into a bag along with two rewriting tools and an electric screwdriver with a charged double A battery in it. This processor had been so useful in the span of 24 hours. I had also been able to charge up a laptop and manually install a programming system onto it, so I had everything I needed in order to reprogram a surveyor. Well, other than the robot itself, but we were about to head out and get that in no longer than a half hour. By ‘we’ I meant Destiny, Roma, myself, and  _ Michael.  _

I hated that Michael had to come with us. I mean, he didn’t even have to! But he insisted anyways and despite how much Roma and Destiny tried to convince him, Leo couldn’t come. He was still bitter about how we didn’t bring back the medicine that Todd had asked for, even though Todd was much happier to have the processor because now he could charge up his tools and get a closer look at the virus with his microscopes or whatever he had in that lab of his. I’m a computer major, I don’t know anything about medical stuff. 

“Hey,” a familiar voice greeted as he stepped up beside me, “you should bring this.” He set his rifle down on the desk next to my bag full of explosives. 

“You know I don’t know how to use a rifle,” I chuckled, “besides, I have my pistol anyways and Roma has a gun as well.”

“You just pull the trigger, you won’t use up all the ammo so you don’t need to know how to reload it anyways,” he explained briefly, and I could tell he was worried. 

“We’ll be fine, I promise,” I assured him quietly, putting a hand on his back. 

“I know you will be, but I just wish I could be there to make sure.” 

“I wish you could be too, you’re actually entertaining to be around,” I joked, earning a smile. 

“Yeah, I have no clue what I’m going to do all day,” he laughed slightly, “or, well, I could always -”

“Hey, Isaac, we’re ready to leave,” Roma interrupted as she peeked into the workshop. 

“Alright, I’ll be out in a minute,” I told her. I picked up Leo’s gun and slung it over my shoulder despite having no intention of using it. I knew it’d make him feel better. I hung my bag of explosives over my other shoulder and smiled at Leo. “Well, I guess-”

He grabbed two fistfuls of my jacket and pulled me down into a kiss. It didn’t last very long, and when he parted from me after the fact, a red tint dusted his freckled cheeks. “That’s for good luck,” he said with a slight smile as he stepped away and walked out the front door of the workshop. I sighed out the breath I realized I had been holding and smiled a stupid smile to myself, leaning against the desk and looking up at the ceiling, trying to collect myself. 

“It’s about time,” I chuckled quietly to myself as I walked out of the workshop through the open garage door. Roma and Sai were standing in the middle of the street between the workshop and the hotel, trying to tie a rope around the rolled up sheet of metal that Roma had welded four wheels onto. Michael watched patiently and Destiny was holding the extra length of rope. 

“Tie it in a loose knot,” I mentioned as I approached the group, “just in case.”

“Do you have everything you need?” Roma asked as she hugged the rolled up sheet of metal, trying to keep it together.

“Yep. I made sure to pack a few explosives too,” I assured, patting my bag lightly. 

“I brought a crowbar in case the doors aren’t automated,” Des pointed out, “is that Leo’s?” She continued, nodding towards the gun hanging off my shoulder. 

“He was worried,” I answered simply, running my opposite hand against the rifle. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Leo worried before,” Roma chuckled as Sai finished tying the rope around the metal sheet. 

“I think the only thing Leo has ever worried about in his entire life is Isaac,” Des teased, and I had to admit I liked that idea. 

“Well we know who he’ll save in a life or death situation,” I mentioned, giving Des a half smile. 

“He did give you a gun after all,” she replied, handing Sai the extra bit of rope. 

“Alright guys, hope it all goes well,” he said, beginning to walk back into the workshop “good luck.”

“I’ve gotten a lot of luck wished to me today,” I laughed, “maybe all of our luck combined will get us something nice.” I felt warm inside as I thought about Leo, and that I’d see him later when we got home. 

“Hopefully,” Roma agreed, picking up the metal roll and tucking it awkwardly under her arm. 

“Alright, Todd said the easiest way to get in should be through the basement of the police station,” Michael said, beginning to lead the way down the street, towards the old factory Leo and I had passed the other day. 

“How far of a walk is that?” Roma asked curiously, speeding up to walk next to Michael. Des and I trailed behind them a little bit.

“Half hours walk or so,” he answered, “hey Isaac, how did you and Leo get home so early the other day, when you were coming back from the Ashworth residence?”

“We hopped onto the body train,” I replied in a monotone voice. 

“Oh good lord,” Roma said apologetically, “I hope it was empty.”

“Only three in the train,” I told her, “but the pit… I hate even thinking about that, it was so gross,” I continued, scratching my arm through the jacket that I had stolen from Leo. I’d need a longer mental break in order for me to put my other jacket back on, considering I knew where it had been. Also, I mean, come on, you think I was going to say no to Leo offering me his jacket? It’s a good thing he had found another jacket in the back of his closet otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed to it. 

“Damn it must’ve been pretty bad, you’re zoning out,” Destiny chuckled beside me. 

“Hm? Oh no I wasn’t even thinking about that,” I laughed with her, leaning down so I could be closer to eye level with her. 

“You’re so much like Leo,” she told me, but I misheard her. 

“Yes, I do like Leo, you’re a genius,” I smiled, and she reached up and pressed her fingers into her forehead.

“That’s not what I said you idiot,” she said, “I know you’re head over heels for him.”

“Really?” I asked sarcastically, but she took it in a different way than I meant it. I meant it more as a ‘really? No way, I had no idea,’ and not ‘really? You actually think that?’

“Well I’m actually not entirely sure,” she laughed slightly.

“Oh,” I breathed out, “I mean, of course I like him, he’s my best friend.”

“Right,” she spoke more to herself than to me. Her and Leo were buddies, and had been since before I was around, so I had figured out at this point that Des was completely aware of Leo’s feelings and had become his wingman in a way. She had been trying to figure out what was going through my head for months, but I was never too interested in talking about feelings. I think she’s under the impression that I’m not into Leo but obviously she’s very wrong. 

“Alright this is a really blatant question but what’s your type?” She asked, a smile touching her face again. I gave her a look that said ‘seriously’ better than an entire essay could. 

“Leo,” I joked, “Leo’s my type. I’m surprised you even had to ask.” 

“Oh! I hope you know I have to tell him that now,” she mentioned cheerfully.

“He already knows, calm down.”

“What? Really? He never mentioned anything to me and knowing him he’d never shut up about something like that,” she pointed out, gesturing with her hands as she spoke. 

“Maybe he just doesn’t like broadcasting everything that happens in his head to you,” I suggested, getting a little bit annoyed from the combination of cheerfulness and personal questions. I was also already in somewhat of a bad mood considering Michael was here and Leo wasn’t, so all of my emotions were starting to stack up. 

“That’s true,” she said, quieting down, “I wouldn’t expect him to tell me  _ everything _ .” I knew that on the inside, she had been under the impression that he would, but I’m not entirely sure how she felt about that not being true. Maybe that’s just because I’ve never thought that about anyone myself. Caution tended to be the direction I took, as compared to Des and Leo, who’s first emotion was always complete devotion or something very similar. 

“Y’know, just because he didn’t tell you  _ one _ thing doesn’t mean he doesn’t… I don’t know,” I began, “trust you?”

She took a breath and met my gaze again. “I’m not stupid, I know that,” she said, trying to brush her feelings away. Thank whoever’s out there, I was tired of talking about feelings. 

“So… did you used to live around here? Before, I mean,” I asked, switching the subject. 

“No, I lived closer to the airport,” she responded, relaxing quite a bit. “But I’ve been around here before. I remember you saying you’ve never been to this area of town before.”

“Yeah I’m not familiar with the area at all,” I confirmed, “I never really strayed far from the university. Couldn’t really afford to drive around every night.”

“Electricity was getting really expensive just before the virus broke out,” she agreed, “I had stopped paying rent because of it, so it’s kind of a good thing the economy crashed.”

“Don’t tell Leo that,” I laughed, “he blames the economy crash for why all of the medical professionals couldn’t make a cure - there was no money for them to spend anymore.”

“Well he also had made huge investments in stocks and had a lot to do with where the casino’s money went, the crash completely screwed him over,” she mentioned. 

“Actually, he told me he wasn’t too worried about the value of the dollar going down, that he knew that if the economy crashed, he’d still be perfectly fine.”

“Oh. Honestly I didn’t think he’d think it through that much.”

“He’s a smart guy, especially when it comes to money,” I pointed out, “I think he’s just convinced everyone that he’s stupid because he believes it so much himself.”

“I think he’s just impulsive,” she said. I gave her a surprised look. 

“Not at all,” I told her, “or, at least, not around me.”

“Well, no, he’s careful with what he says to  _ you _ , but he doesn’t think about what he’s doing when it comes to something dangerous or anything that just… doesn’t involve you.”

“I think he’ll stop doing that now,” I chuckled. 

“Oh? Why’s that?” She asked curiously. 

“He knows he doesn’t have to impress me anymore. Or he will by the end of the night.”

“What happened?” She continued, trying to figure everything out. 

“Eh, y’know. We just told each other a couple things the other day, understand each other better,” I chuckled, just thinking about him making me feel better. 

“Good things?”

“Very,” I smiled to myself, feeling warm inside and probably going red in the cheeks as I thought about that nice little kiss I got only twenty minutes ago. 

“Sorry, I’m eavesdropping,” Roma said as she turned to walk backwards, “but I noticed that Leo was in a great mood yesterday, so clearly whatever happened made his day a lot better.”

“That’s good,” I mentioned, “we all need a little joy.” I obviously knew why he was so happy. I had woken up early that morning and made him a coffee with our newly powered coffee maker, bringing it to his room and knocking quietly on the door. When he had opened the door, a smile immediately cracked across his face as he wiped the sleep out of his eyes. Of course the first thing I noticed was that he was shirtless despite the chilly air, and that combined with his messy, curly hair made my knees nearly give out. Needless to say, Leo has a nice body, nobody could deny that. I just adored his freckles and it had never occurred to me that they travel down his shoulders and back as well. We ended up sitting in his bed together, drinking the first coffee either of us had had in years, bundled up in a few blankets because I got cold rather easily. When we were both done with our drinks, we somehow (and by that I mean I complained about the cold,) got all snuggled up to each other for maybe a half hour. When he wrapped his arms around me my mind had completely numbed, and I found myself silently tracing his collarbones and nuzzling my nose into his neck. It had been an awfully long time since I was held and it gave me such an energy boost to go on throughout the rest of the day. 

Jean had mentioned it once when she was trying to give me a therapy session: that apparently because, as a child, my parents worked most of the time and didn’t give me a lot of attention, I tended to get attached to people who gave me physical affection. She was 100% correct about this - I love physical affection, it makes me feel safe and warm and cared about. I also really like giving affection of any kind, I just want whoever’s receiving said affection to know that they’re loved. 

Leo had said that he wasn’t usually a huge fan of touching or… how did he word it? Casual contact. All his past relationships were just fuck buddies, but not me. Not me! He likes to hold my hand! And fucking cuddle with me! And  _ kiss  _ me! I just haven’t been touched romantically (other than the odd time Leo would wrap an arm around my waist or skate his hand along my back,) in what feels like forever, let alone been kissed. It’s nice, to say the least. Plus Leo himself has a heart of gold, and he’s charming, and clever, and funny, and handsome, and… I think I’ve gotten my point across. I really like Leo. More than anyone I’ve ever met, to be honest. 

“Alright we’re just about there,” Michael mentioned, and my nice thoughts about Leo shattered. I ran my hand through my hair quickly to try and draw my attention back, but it happened to strike up the memory of Leo playing with my hair yesterday morning and god did that make me melt. 

“It’s on the next street over, right? So we’ll go through a backyard or parking lot and try a window in the back or something?” Destiny asked curiously.

“Right,” Michael agreed, “Isaac, you brought that compass I asked you to, right?”

“Mhmm,” I answered, reaching into my pocket. I flashed the old compass to him and he nodded. 

“With that, we can make sure we head in the right direction underground and don’t get lost,” he said.  _ Obviously. What are we, stupid? _

I tried to forget that Michael existed for a moment but it’s more difficult than I’d like it to be. It took me a moment to realize I was chewing on my nails again, the warmth from my mouth defrosting my cold fingertips. 

“Didn’t Todd tell you to stop doing that?” Roma asked as she slowed to walk beside me. 

“Yeah, he did,” I confirmed, “but I’m not going to.”

“Why not? Doesn’t it hurt?”

“No, why would it hurt?” I responded curiously, hooking a bottom tooth under the edge of the nail on my middle finger. 

“I mean I’ve gotten hangnails before and they hurt like hell,” she pointed out, looking at her own nails, “I figured it would be like constantly having one for you.” 

“Nope,” I repeated, “I think after doing it for 20 years I’m used to it.”

“That’s what Leo says,” she mentioned. 

“About what? He doesn’t bite his nails.”

“No, he’s allergic to nickel, yet he wears a ton of it,” she specified, “it’s mainly in the metal plates on his bracers, whenever he touches them directly he gets a rash, says he’s used to it at this point.”

“Is that why Todd freaked out so much when he cut his hand with his pocket knife?” I asked, and she nodded.

“Yeah, but he was alright in the long run, clearly. I’m surprised he never told you about it.”

“No wonder his upper arms are always red and splotchy,” I pointed out, taking my hand away from my mouth and pointing just above my inner elbow, “whenever he bends his arm the metal rubs against his skin.”

“Todd’s taken them from him a couple times but he just steals them back,” she chuckled fondly at the memory. 

“Well he  _ is _ a thief and a good one at that,” I laughed with her, “sometimes I’ll put my hands in my pockets and realize they’re empty and he’ll say something stupid like ‘I was wondering when you’d notice,’ and put handfuls of screws and my wallet and whatever else I was carrying straight back into my pockets.”

“Aww, that’s cute,” she smiled.

“It really is,” I agreed, subconsciously checking my pockets even though I knew he wouldn’t have taken anything. I noticed something I had most definitely not put in there myself - it was cold and metallic, had a flat circular shape, and a chain was attached to it. My heart melted immediately and I pulled it out of my pocket just enough so I could see it. Roma started going on about a story but I tuned it out as I ran my thumb across the silver plating of the antique pocket watch that had been reverse-pickpocketed to me. I popped open the front panel and a little slip of paper was tucked inside against the glass.

“Right,” I answered blandly to Roma after she asked something that I hadn’t actually heard. I unfolded the piece of paper and a little message was scrawled in the signature illegible writing that I had learned to understand. 

_ Someone in the Syndicate said the meeting being held in town square is ending earlier than Todd thought, leave by 5:00. Please.  _

I folded the paper back up and put it in my pocket, checking the time quickly. 4:12. I swallowed down my fears as we reached a chain link fence, the police station on the other side. 

“Alright, watch the top of the fence, I won’t carry you home if you get hurt,” Michael mentioned as he climbed up the fence. 

“Oh, really? The fence might cut us, huh?” I asked sarcastically. While Roma pushed the rolled up metal over the top of the fence. I put my hand on Roma’s back to steady her as she climbed the fence as well. 

“You better knock it off,” he growled, crossing his arms and not even helping Roma as she jumped off to the other side. 

“Bite me,” I responded, “stop pointing out the obvious and maybe things will go smoother.”

“Guys, stop,” Roma interrupted while Destiny scaled the fence and landed on the other side, “we’re all going to get caught if you keep arguing.”

“I wasn’t arguing, I was making a point,” I mumbled, curling my fingers around a few freezing cold, metal loops and pulling myself up. When I dropped down on the other side, Des made sure I didn’t land too hard, and I checked my pockets to make sure I hadn’t lost anything. 

“Are you sure you want to go in there?” Roma asked quietly while we followed the back wall of the building. 

“What? Of course I want to, why wouldn’t I?” I responded, completely confused. 

“Oh, well, Todd mentioned something about-”

“I don’t have PTSD,” I interrupted blatantly, “I just don’t. I’m not scared of surveyors.”

“I didn’t think you were, it’s just what Todd was worried about,” she said apologetically. 

“I wish he’d lay off, I’m  _ fine _ ,” I sighed, “like if Leo isn’t worrying about me then nobody should.”

“You’re right about that, Leo knows you best,” she chuckled, “and he does like to worry about you.”

“Alright be quiet you two,” Michael insisted up ahead of us. I rolled my eyes but did as I was told, and Des picked the lock of a trapdoor in the pavement that probably led to a basement. 

We climbed into the dark and cold basement one by one, staying silent as I pulled a flashlight out of my bag. It was just a basement, looked like a group of guards were living down here recently. Destiny pointed without saying a word towards the corner of the room and I pointed the light in that direction. There was another little hatch in the floor, and when we all got down it, we were definitely in the right place. Long, eerie tunnels made of steel plates gave us all chills as I quickly flashed the flashlight along the walls. 

“Damn, it’s cold in here,” Des complained quietly, her voice echoing off the walls. I checked the time quickly to make sure we were on schedule. 4:27. 

“Okay let’s get looking quick, we don’t want to be here long,” I told them, picking a direction and walking. Roma dragged the metal wagon apparatus we had behind her as we searched the halls for any sign of deadly robots. 

“We better stay close, don’t want to lose anyone,” Michael whispered, and I chuckled a little bit. “Yes, you too, Isaac. I don’t want a bullet through my skull.”

“I’d never  _ kill  _ you,” I told him, “I’ve never killed anything before.”

“I know you wouldn’t, but if I turned up back at the base without you, lord knows Leo’d kill me,” he joked.

“No he wouldn’t,” Destiny cut in. She tripped on a metal pipe that crossed the floor. 

“Eh… I’m pretty sure he would. He hates my guts at this point.”

“You were friends at one point,” I mentioned, a tiny, nearly unnoticeable pang of guilt pulling on my heart strings.  _ It’s my fault, I know that. _

__ “That was a long time ago,” Michael said. I turned my gaze to the ceiling and pointed the light a little bit upwards. “Even before you showed up, y’know? He started distancing himself from me long before you even existed in our minds.”

“Oh,” I breathed out, “glad he started thinking for himself,” I continued, just to get back at him. I wasn’t going to feel bad for a dick like him. 

“Hey guys,” Roma called quietly, “there’s a light down this hall.”

I turned around and pointed the flashlight at her, a few meters down the dark tunnel. The group of us started down the smaller hallway and I could see a tiny little flashing light. I picked up the pace a little bit, excitement gripping at my heart. 

“Oh that’s got to be it, please,” I said to myself. 

“Turn out the light,” Michael pressed, and I reluctantly did as I was told, sliding over to the wall and following a thick pipe along towards the light. It looked like a little room, or maybe it was bigger than I thought, since there was a door blocking the rest of the light. 

When we reached the door, I crouched behind the metal and peeked in through a small window. 

“Yes!” I whispered cheerfully. Surveyors lined the walls, and they all appeared to be turned off. “Oh, fuck,” I continued after I noticed movement inside. I ducked down quickly and held my breath. “There’s a guard.”

“Here, I’ll take care of them,” Destiny offered, pulling her pistol out of her holster. 

“No, absolutely not!” I whisper-shouted, “we aren’t killing anyone!”

“You’re the one with the assault rifle,” Roma pointed out.

“I only took it to make Leo feel better,” I defended, “I’m not going to use it.”

“Shh, shut up you guys,” Michael insisted, “did you bring any flash bombs or something?” He continued to me. 

“I did but it has shrapnel, might hit one of the surveyors.”

“Smoke bomb then?”

“We’d all suffocate,” I answered quickly. 

“Just let me go in there and knock him out,” Des begged, “or lure him over here so I can.”

“Fine, try the door,” I agreed reluctantly. I’d much rather have the guard leave unharmed but it would have to do. 

“Electric,” Roma said blatantly as she very carefully pulled on the handle. I smiled to myself, looking in my bag and pulling out a rewriting tool. 

“Finally get to use one of these,” I spoke to myself as I grabbed my screwdriver too. I opened up the panel near the handle, keeping as quiet as I could, and cut a few wires in the door. My heart stopped when the deadbolt snapped shut, but the guard inside didn’t seem to notice anything. I sautered some of the loose wires in the rewriting tool onto the cut wires in the door, and immediately the deadbolt snapped open and the handle clicked. 

“Alright, allow me,” Destiny offered, “stand back.” The three of us shuffled back into the dark while Des stepped to the side of the door. She looked back to make sure we were a safe distance away before simply knocking on the door. I could physically feel the tension in the room as we all just waited, waited for something, for anything to happen. 

The door creaked open. “The fuck was that?” The guard asked himself as the door opened a little further and Destiny immediately reached up and ripped his pistol from his hands. He yelled in both surprise and protest as she pushed him off balance and knocked his head against the open door. I felt horrible as he stopped screaming and fell to the floor limply. Destiny laughed a triumphant laugh as she peeked into the room and stepped over the body of the unconscious man. She beckoned the rest of us over and I followed Michael and Roma, but I stopped at the body. 

I knew I shouldn’t feel guilty, that he worked for the government and therefore was technically a bad person in most people’s opinion, but I knew that he was just doing his job. Plus, I know from experience waking up after having hit your head hard is like a hangover but 10 times worse, and I don’t think very many people deserve that. 

“Isaac,” Roma called, knocking me out of my thoughts. I looked up from the guard and ripped my rewriting tool out of the wall, putting the remnants back in my bag. I adjusted the gun hanging over my shoulder and entered the room, my guilt washing away as I looked at the machines lining the walls. 

“Wow, they’re even more menacing up close,” Michael mentioned as he looked up at one of the towering, white surveyors. The label S21Y was painted on the front of the robot he was in front of, but the one next to him was numbered L71M, so I knew this wasn’t a storage site. 

“They’re broken,” I told him, “look, the numbers don’t match up. Also, this ones missing a panel over here - oh, and this one’s lens is broken.” 

“You’re sure they won’t turn on, right?” Roma asked from across the dimly lit room. I could tell she was worried, that all three of my companions were, but I knew we’d be fine. For now, at least. It was ten to 5. 

“Of course not, they’re programmed to constantly be scanning when they have even the tiniest bit of power, if they were going to turn on at all, we'd already be dead,” I explained, running my hand against one of the metal legs of the surveyor labeled C41N. It was the one with the broken lens. 

“Well let’s just grab one now,” Michael decided, “even if it’s broken, you can fix it.”

“What if it’s totally destroyed though?” Des asked, “if it’s missing important things I doubt even Isaac could fix it.” I circled around surveyor C41N, inspecting it for any more damage, but I couldn’t find anything more than a few dents near the front. The three behind me kept arguing quietly on whether or not we should take one from here or keep looking, but I cut in as I stepped back from C41N. 

“This one,” I simply said, “this one will do.”

We all worked together to fold the legs of the surveyor up and sit it on the metal, makeshift wagon we had brought, and Roma made sure to tie it down with three ropes to keep it in place. It took fifteen minutes. 

As we followed the compass arrow north towards where we knew was an exit, I started to get worried. There was probably only 15 or 20 minutes until guards started flooding into the underground tunnels. I took a breath and told myself it would be okay. It had to be, right? 

I kept checking the watch that never left my hand, watching the minutes tick by. “Can we pick up the pace a little bit? This place gives me the creeps,” I requested. None of us wanted to stick around, obviously, and we followed dark halls that snaked around like a maze, like the architect knew we’d be here and we’d get lost. The surveyor was heavy and took us all to pull it along, Roma and I tugging on the ropes up at the front and Des and Michael pushing from behind. 

I hated how empty the halls were. We were dodging every illuminated room we came across, but there was nobody in the halls, not a single soul. 

Then there was the door. The trap door up in the roof and a ladder leading up to it. I knew it was too good to be true, but Destiny was far too eager to get the hell out of the dark and she popped the door open, her revolver leading the way. 

She gasped and fired a shot, a scream responding in the wake of the gunfire. My heart sank in my chest once again while she pushed the trap door open all the way. The metal panel crashed to the ground behind her as she climbed up. 

I silently climbed out of the tunnel behind her to be greeted by a guard on the ground. The sun shone down on the grim scene. 

“She’s still alive, let me put her out of her misery,” Destiny said quietly, pointing her gun at the girl. 

“Shoot her and I’ll shoot you,” I threatened, but it was closer to being the truth than just a simple threat. I pulled her government-issue helmet off her head and her golden hair spilled down onto the ground. She didn’t look scary, like a bad person we all thought the government would employ. She looked normal. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’ll be alright,” I assured her quietly as Des, Michael, and Roma hoisted the surveyor out of the tunnel. 

“Oh my god please, it hurts,” she cried, tears welling in her green eyes. They weren’t as bright of a green as Leo’s eyes, but were closer to a greyish tint. I looked at her bullet wound down in her stomach and pressed the nearby fabric of her uniform into the puncture. 

“Don’t worry, I know someone who can help you,” I told her, and Michael growled as he pulled the surveyor onto the pavement. It’s metal body shone in the light.

“Absolutely not, we aren’t bringing a guard to the base,” he insisted. 

“Des  _ shot _ her! I’m not leaving her for dead,” I argued. Nothing would change my mind. Leo and Robbie didn’t leave me for dead, so I figured this was the most I could do to return the favour. “Here, stand up,” I beckoned kindly to the guard, carefully helping her up. 

“Oh I know where we are,” Roma said as she started dragging the surveyor along and Des and Michael went back to pushing. Des didn’t say a word. 

“Are there any more guards around?” I asked the girl quietly. She shook her head and gritted her teeth tightly. I noticed how young she looked. “What’s your name?”

“Lilith,” she choked out, “yours?”

“Isaac,” I responded, “and that’s Roma, Destiny, and Michael.”

“Destiny,” she whispered, “bitch.” I couldn’t help but smile.

“She’s not that bad, just has a trigger finger,” I assured her, hoping it would cheer her up or something. 

“Why… why the surveyor?” She questioned. Michael whipped around to stare me down. 

“Can’t tell you that, you  _ are  _ a guard,” I pointed out, adjusting Leo’s gun so it hung over my shoulder in a more comfortable manner. 

“Didn’t want to be one,” she confessed, “got found in the streets a few years ago, they threatened to kill me if I didn’t go with them.”

“Found by guards?” I continued, and she nodded, “I mean technically I nearly got killed by guards too, I know how bad it is.”

“What happened to you?”

“I tried to jump the wall, nearly got gunned down by one of these bad boys,” I chuckled, nodding towards the deactivated surveyor. 

“Ouch, that must’ve been bad,” she sympathized through gritted teeth, “but hey, you’re still alive. A bit beat up by the looks of it, but breathing.”

“Oh yeah Todd fixed me up real good, he’ll stitch you up too,” I smiled. 

“How many people are there?” She asked quietly, “like are you a group of revolutionists or something?”

“I mean technically, yes, we’re revolutionists,” I confirmed, “and there’s…” I started counting on my fingers, “there’s me, and those three up there, and Leo, you’ll like him, he’s the best, and Sai and Todd and Jean and Robbie and Anthony… so ten. There’s ten of us.”

“Wow that’s a pretty big group,” she mused, wincing slightly as she walked. “Are they all nice?”

“Oh, yeah, they’re all great,” I assured, “well, maybe not Michael,” I continued, nodding towards the man up ahead, “but everyone else is super nice, especially Leo, he’s a great guy,” I smiled to myself. I couldn’t  _ not _ talk about him. 

“Alright Isaac, stop gushing about your boyfriend,” Roma chuckled ahead of us. I was about to respond out of habit with ‘he’s not my boyfriend,’ but that would be a lie. Well, now that I think about it, neither of us had verbally declared us dating but we could both read between the lines. It didn’t matter to either of us anyways, to be honest. 

“Sorry, I’m just telling the truth,” I told Roma, a smile stretching across my face. 

“Boyfriend? You must be biased,” Lilith spoke again, her voice quiet to mask her pain. 

“Oh, we aren’t - he isn’t my boyfriend,” I lied. Leo and I had made a bet on how long it would take people to notice that we were finally together, and I planned to win it. He had guessed two weeks, but I guessed three months. His reasoning was that he most definitely couldn’t help but put his hands on me no matter where we were, and he had proved he was telling the truth in the span of two days. I tried to hide the smile that broke across my face as I remembered talking to Sai yesterday and Leo coming up behind me and grabbing my ass. I did my best not to notice but as soon as Sai left I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re a dick,” I had told him, and he smiled that charming half-smile. “I’ve wanted to do that for ages,” he had admitted. I hated that his charm always worked on me. 

“Right, okay,” Lilith said, and I caught a tiny hint of sarcasm, “so, what was her name? Destiny?”

“Yeah, that’s her,” I confirmed quietly so she couldn’t hear us, “I promise she’s a good person.”

“Sure, just a nice person who shoots someone and is willing to put a bullet between my eyes as well,” she growled, “but I must say she looks nice from behind.”

I snorted in response, taking a glance at Destiny. She wasn’t my type obviously, but she wasn’t bad looking by any means… but her hair wasn’t dark or curly enough and she didn’t have freckles and she was a tad too tall and didn't get dimples when she smiled or make sarcastic or flirty remarks whenever she could - she wasn’t Leo, is what I’m getting at. I looked up to see where we were, but I didn’t recognize the area.

Whenever we were bored, me and Leo would walk around the outskirts of the base or even a few blocks beyond that, but I still hadn’t learned what the area looked like. Sometimes I’d try to memorize a landmark, like a tall building or a pile of rubble that had once been an apartment building, but my memory wasn’t very good when it came to things like that. I could remember numbers and formulas and instructions, not pictures and places. 

“Fuck, how much further?” Lilith hissed, and Roma looked back. 

“Not far, maybe a few blocks or so.” Alright, so we weren’t that far. Couldn’t recognize anything still, but I did notice the quiet sounds of the ocean in the distance. 

“I could carry you if you’d like,” I offered Lilith, but she shook her head roughly. 

“Absolutely not, I don’t need to be carried,” she huffed, “this is nothing, I’ve been shot before.” 

“I like your attitude,” I smiled, but I was still a bit worried. She gave a hearty little laugh but winced as she did so. 

Roma was right, after another few blocks we popped through an alleyway and ended up right in the base. No wonder I didn’t recognize the way we had been going, Leo and I always stuck to the roads and stayed away from alleyways in fears that there might be something - or someone - inside. I had the immediate urge to go look for Leo and tell him how well everything went, but I had to help Lilith up to the makeshift medical bay at the top floor of the hotel. Lilith was lucky the building wasn’t very tall, and Todd scolded me for making her walk up the stairs. 

“Nah, don’t give him flack, he was the only helpful bastard there,” she dismissed as Todd scrambled to tend to her wound. 

“Wait, are you a guard?” Todd finally noticed as he pulled the straps that connected to her pants and stretched up over her shoulders off. 

“Yep,” she answered calmly as he looked over at me. 

“Isaac, what the fuck?” He asked, and I was amused to hear him swear, since he didn’t do it very often. 

“Hey, no, leave him alone, I’m not going to do anything stupid,” she defended before I could answer, “Isaac, why don’t you go and, uh… Leo, right? Your boyfriend? Go find him or something.” 

I didn’t argue with her and left her to probably reason with Todd about how she wasn’t the stereotypical guard. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I found Destiny just outside. 

“Dude, what the fuck do I do?” She asked bluntly. 

“Uh, apologize for a start,” I answered sarcastically. I was still kind of pissed off about this whole dilemma but my advice ran true. 

“I knew you’d say that,” she sighed, “I’m not sorry though, she’s a guard, she’s probably done some pretty horrible things.”

“Nobody deserves to be shot, let alone killed, no matter what they’ve done,” I reasoned. It was what I really believed. I left Destiny at that and headed outside again, but not before checking Leo’s room to see if he was there. He wasn’t, and I didn’t think he would be, since he liked being outside and took every chance he had to be out in the sun. It was cold outside, but the sun could provide some warmth. I walked into the workshop, where the new surveyor was being kept, and dropped my bag and Leo’s gun off at my desk. I asked Sai if he’d seen Leo, and he shook his head. 

“Haven’t seen him in hours.” With that, I knew exactly where I would find him. I headed down to the snow covered beach and walked along the shoreline until I reached a big outcropping of jagged rock. 

Goddamn was he a handsome motherfucker. Leo sat on the very edge of the rock, his legs dangling off the end and getting dangerously close to freezing cold water. He had his head tossed back and was leaned back against both hands, letting the sun’s warmth wash over him. I didn’t want to bother him but I also wanted to tell him everything that had happened throughout the day. I climbed up onto the rocks and stepped up beside him, smiling down at him. 

“Isaac!” He smiled as he jumped up, locking me in a tight hug, “I was really worried about you, y’know? Thank god you’re alright.” 

“I knew you’d say that,” I chuckled as he pulled his face out of my chest and smiled a wide, genuine smile at me, his freckled cheeks scrunching up. My heart did some things I thought might cause Todd to have another person to take care of, and the butterflies in my stomach were probably on LSD. I took his face between my hands and pulled him up into a kiss. 

He mumbled out a “holy fuck,” against my lips and tangled his fingers into my hair, pulling me down so he could keep some of his dignity. He claimed he absolutely hated the height difference between us and he had made it abundantly clear that apparently going on his toes to reach me was the most unmanly thing he had ever done. But to completely contradict his statement, I know personally that he doesn’t mind having to look up at me or stand on something to subtly imply that he wasn’t as short as he was. 

He huffed out a hot breath against my lips, and it warmed me right to the core. I ran the tip of my tongue against his parted lips and it must’ve flipped a switch in his head. He hauled me back into a kiss that I had been longing for all day, slipping his tongue between my lips and exploring like the expert he was. I offered him a little hum and trailed one hand down to the side of his neck, the other landing on his hip and pulling him flush against me. I pressed the little round piercing in the middle of my tongue against the underneath of his own, and he faltered for a moment, pulling back a little bit. 

“Oh please tell me that’s a piercing,” he wished, and I felt the shiver that travelled through his body, goosebumps rising on the exposed skin of his neck. 

“Mhm,” I hummed out, sticking my tongue out so he could see. He rested his forehead against my own, looking up at me with those sexy eyes of his. 

“As if my fantasies weren’t wild enough,” he breathed out.

“They don’t have to be fantasies for much longer,” I smiled a suggestive smirk, and he took my bottom lip between his teeth gently. He dragged me into one last kiss that could most definitely get me drunk, testing out my piercing by pressing his tongue against it and sucking it into his own mouth. 

I noticed the cold again when he pulled back from me, but I was too content to complain. “So how did your day go?” He asked like nothing had happened. I rested both hands on his hips and his leather and metal-clad hands landed on my shoulders. 

“Oh it went great,” I smiled, “we got a surveyor no problem. Oh, and also, Des shot a guard and I -”

“You brought them back,” he finished bluntly, but he had a look on his face that almost seemed  _ proud _ .

“I mean I couldn’t leave her,” I explained, “and she says she doesn’t want to be a guard, that she’s down to join a revolution.”

“You’ll have to introduce me to her,” he mentioned before laughing, “but not right now, I’d like to keep you for myself for a little while longer.”

“I can’t argue with that.” I squeezed his hips slightly, looking down at his hands resting on my shoulders. “Oh, since when were you allergic to nickel?”

“Good lord,” he sighed jokingly, “it’s fine, it’s not that bad, please don’t argue with me right now.”

“Fine, fine, but after dinner I’m telling you to not destroy your skin,” I insisted, and he rolled his eyes before his expression lit up even more.

“Oh, did you see my note?”

“I saw it, couldn’t read it,” I teased before quieting down a little bit as I pulled his watch out of my pocket. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Thank you,” I whispered to him, taking his hands and wrapping his fingers around his watch. 

“Of course,” he responded, just as quiet. He dropped his watch into the inside pocket of his jacket and took my hands in his. “Cold?” I nodded slightly, and he led me off the rocky outcrop and back towards camp. “Show me this surveyor, then.”

“Right! I almost forgot about it,” I chuckled, “we cut it pretty close though, might’ve been caught down there.”

“What time’d you get out?” He asked, his thumb running circles against my wrist. 

“Uhm, maybe… just after 5, I’d say. We weren’t out of the area until a bit after that,” I told him.

“Oh, you would’ve been fine,” he assured calmly. He reached up and scratched his neck, causing the metal of his gauntlet to rub against his exposed skin. 

“What do you mean? You said to be out by 5.”

“Well the meeting wasn’t going to be done until 5:30, I just didn’t want to risk it,” he pointed out, “I’m not  _ that _ stupid, I knew you’d stick around as long as you could.”

“Oh, I - hey, I never thought you were stupid,” I defended after I realized what he had said. 

“Right, you don’t  _ think  _ I am,” he spoke with a tinge of sarcasm, “but I’m sure anyone’s pretty dumb to someone like you.”

“Hey, I’m not an asshole, plus, I think you’re very clever,” I claimed, “I know you’re smart, I mean, you’re nearly a leader of a money laundering, mafia-esque group and have been for years, probably had enough money to buy a private jet at one point-”

“I never had that kind of money to my name, and I’m nowhere near being the leader of the syndicate-”

“Don’t cut me off, and yes you are, they take orders from you, you’re in charge,” I interrupted. 

“They tried to have me killed, Ize, they don’t like me,” he said, using that nickname that I thought was extremely ironic. Robbie had pointed it out once, that Ize sounded the same as eyes, and I’m clearly lacking in that field.

“Well then you’re threatening enough to scare them because usually people who hate you don’t do as you say,” I pointed out. He sighed.

“Fine, maybe you’re right,” he accepted, “but I’m not really that threatening, am I?”

“Not to me you’re not,” I smiled, squeezing his hand as we reached the workshop. We reluctantly drifted away as we realized we had company - Sai was inspecting the robot that was sitting on the floor in the middle of the workshop. Excitement welled in my chest as I looked at it. I always wanted to mess with a surveyor, figure out how it works, ever since I was a young child. 

“Huh, they’re not as scary close up,” Leo mentioned as he walked over to the robot, “I always thought they were bigger, too.”

“It must be because it’s stilts are folded up. It’s still a good 10 meters tall,” I explained, stepping up beside him and leaning down to pull one of the retracted legs out. 

“That won’t mess with the hydraulics, I hope,” Sai mentioned as I hauled the leg across the floor, the hydraulics slowly letting go and stretching out. 

“It shouldn’t,” I assured as I set the leg down, returning to the hydraulic up near its body, “this one must’ve been out of commission for a while, joints are a tad rusty. I can fix that pretty easily.”

“What’s it even powered by?” Leo asked, tapping the large tank on the top of the robot.

“Hm, good question,” I responded, trying to pull the lid to the tank off, but it was drilled on tightly, “grab me the screwdriver off my desk,” I requested, glancing up at Sai, but Leo was quick to do it for me. 

“You’d think it would be electric,” Sai pointed out, sliding his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, “it’s not like the government has a lack of nuclear power. I mean, isn’t the one plant that’s left operating only supplying government controlled areas?”

“I do believe so,” I agreed as Leo returned with my electric screwdriver. I plugged it into one of the screws on the tank and pressed a button on the side, causing it to rapidly unscrew. After I got all four of the screws undone, I dropped my screwdriver into my pocket and slowly peeled off the lid. A thick, black liquid came pouring out and all three of us jumped back. 

“Oh, motherfucker,” Leo groaned behind me, looking at his hands quickly. It smelt like sulfur, and that had all of us checking for exposed skin that had come in contact. I watched as the liquid oozed out of the tank and slowly realized what it was. 

“It’s oil,” I uttered out, “it’s oil, guys, we’re okay.” 

“Goddamn I thought it was stage six expulsion,” Sai mentioned, taking a deep breath. I think we all thought that. I grabbed a towel off of a tool rack and returned to the robot, trying to push the oil back into the tank. I had no idea where we’d even find oil, which concerned me. Leo walked over to the front of the surveyor and tried his best to lift it up so the oil would flow back down into the tank.

“Fuck this is heavy,” he mumbled, “Sai, grab something I can prop this up with.” Sai was quick to go looking for something of use.

“I think I have a car jack around here somewhere,” he said.

“That’d be perfect. If you have more than one, that’d be great too,” I mentioned, “that way I can at least push it off the ground without help.” Sai jogged up the stairs to the top level of the workshop and Leo held the surveyor up still as I screwed the top of the tank back on, but I got a tad distracted. Leo closed his eyes and huffed out a breath, trying to keep the robot angled up. It was quite a sight to behold, his brows furrowed in concentration and his teeth clearly digging into his cheek. Not to mention, he was doing this all for me, and I hadn’t even asked him to. He had always been like that, since the day we met - he’d do things for me whether I asked him to or not, and they were always things to make my life easier, like that was his only purpose around here. He never complained about it, not even once. He’d always give himself a small, triumphant smile after he’d done something for me, but he’d never ask for my recognition. I always thanked him, showed him how much I appreciated him, but he’d always brush it off, saying something along the lines of ‘oh don’t worry about it.”

His arms started to shake so I dropped my screwdriver on the stone floor and moved to hold the robot up too, easing the weight he was supporting. 

“My arms are going numb,” he mentioned, chuckling slightly. His eyes were still closed, so I glanced around the room to make sure we were alone and leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his parted lips. 

“You’re too nice,” I responded, and he slowly opened his eyes, “you don’t need to do all of this for me.”

“Yes I do,” he argued kindly, shifting his hands along the bottom edge of the robot, “besides, I’m just holding this up, it’s really nothing.”

“I mean everything, not just this. Everything you’ve ever done for me, you don’t need to do it.”

“Oh, well, I like to do it,” he chuckled, and I slowly began to feel the weight pushing against my arms, “I like to make you happy, make your life a bit easier.”

“You make me happier than you can imagine,” I assured him. 

“Then it’s all worth it,” he smiled, and his expression was just full of love, “you’re worth everything.”

“You are too, don’t forget that,” I responded. We both fell silent, our eye contact never drifting away. Sai eventually came back downstairs with a jack, sliding it under the front end of the robot quickly. Both Leo and I dropped the surveyor down gently, shaking our arms out. We’d both probably be stiff tomorrow. I grabbed the towel I had used to push some of the oil back into the tank and wiped the rest off of the robot off. Todd popped his head into the workshop, his gasp making me notice his presence.

“Oh good lord,” he uttered out, standing stock still and looking at the oil soaked rag in my hands. 

“It’s oil, it’s okay,” I told him quickly, “it came out of the surveyor’s tank.”

“Oh thank goodness, that could’ve been terrible,” he sighed out in relief, entering the room, “oil, though? I thought they’d be electric.”

“That’s what we were thinking,” Sai mentioned. Leo reached for my hands and took the towel out of them, nodding towards the door. 

“I’m gonna toss this, nothing we have is going to get the oil out,” he mentioned, leaving out the garage door for a moment. 

“Where are we going to find oil?” Todd asked.

“I mean, if every surveyor needs oil, the government must have some supply of it coming in from somewhere,” I mentioned. 

“I know a guy who’s friends with a rogue guard,” Leo mentioned as he walked back into the workshop, “I could ask him.”

“That’d be good,” I agreed, standing up and taking a step away from the surveyor. The sky slowly began to get darker, but the room stayed lit up by the large box lights hanging from the roof. 

“How about Lilith, the girl you brought back?” Todd offered, “I’d assume someone of her… occupation would know.” Sai looked over curiously, wondering who I had brought back with me. 

“I’ll ask her too,” I nodded, “is she doing okay?”

“Mhm,” the doctor confirmed, “Jean went with her to introduce herself to everyone. Just a heads up, Michael’s looking for you,” he continued, clearly suggesting that Michael was very angry and I wasn’t too surprised. 

“Oh, great,” I sighed, but the gentle press of Leo’s hand on the small of my back made me relax a bit. 

“Why don’t you tell Michael that if he wants to tell Isaac off, he’ll be looking down the barrel of my gun,” Leo threatened, though his voice sounded quite confident. His hand slid down from my back and landed on my ass, causing a smile to appear on my face. I wanted to grab him by the back of the neck and pull him up into a kiss but there happened to be people around at the moment. After a little bit more chatter, Jean and Lilith walked into the workshop. Lilith had a bit of a limp, but she seemed happy. Leo gave my ass a little squeeze before his hand fell away reluctantly, and I had to hold in a little giggle. 

“Hello,” Sai greeted with a smile, but it slowly fell away as he realized the uniform she was wearing. 

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Lilith said, holding out a hand to him. Sai shook it apprehensively, and Todd bid a quiet greeting to his wife, “I’m Lilith.”

“Sai,” said man responded, giving me a look that said ‘what the fuck are you thinking?’ Lilith turned and pointed at Leo. 

“Which means you must be Leo, Isaac wouldn’t shut up about you,” the guard chuckled, reaching to shake Leo’s hand as well. He didn’t seem concerned at all, giving Lilith a genuine smile as he shook her hand. “Wow, you’re the only person other than Isaac who’s been genuinely nice,” she noted. 

“I trust his judgement,” he mentioned, glancing up at me, “he wouldn’t be so relaxed if he thought you were gonna snitch on us.”

“Well, I assure you, he’s right. I’m not interested in working with the government, didn’t want to be a guard in the first place,” she assured, turning her gaze to Sai, “I knew maybe three people who were glad the legion picked them up. The rest of us wanted out, couldn’t stand killing innocent people.” Sai stayed silent, but I’m sure he understood. Neither Todd nor Jean seemed suspicious of her words. 

“Well, Anthony said he was just about done with dinner,” Jean mentioned after a long silence, and I suddenly felt my hunger bite at my stomach. We all headed out of the workshop together, but Leo hung back with me as I jumped up to close the garage door of the building, making sure the surveyor was locked up safe inside. 

“She doesn’t seem too bad,” he mentioned, taking my hand as he walked down the street. 

“No, she’s been nice to everyone, by the looks of it,” I responded, squeezing his hand gently, “I hope everyone warms up to her.”

“I’m sure they will. I mean, everyone got mad at me when I brought Robbie back, but now everyone just sees him as one of us. They’ll get used to her being around.” Heavy footfalls behind us startled me, and I turned quickly to see none other than Michael standing there, his arms crossed. I tried to pull my hand from Leo’s but he kept a tight grip and squeezed reassuringly.

“Just the motherfucker I was looking for,” Michael growled, frowning as he looked at our intertwined fingers, “or once-best-friend-fucker, I suppose.”

“We were never ‘best friends,’” Leo defended, but he kept his voice calm. 

“This isn’t about you,” Michael pointed out, turning his gaze back to me, “why the fuck did you bring a guard into  _ my _ territory?”

“Because I’m not a heartless bastard! Besides, she seems like she’s telling the truth,” I explained, trying to keep the bite out of my own tone, “give her a chance. If she tries anything, send her away. Hell, send me away too.”

“Y’know, I think I just might,” Michael threatened.

“You toss him out and I’m leaving too,” Leo mentioned, his grip tight on my hand. I found it relaxing, knowing he wasn’t going to turn on me if Michael wanted me gone. 

“Be my guest, you’re not useful for much.”

“I’ll go right to the Syndicate, tell them to drop all their protective measures out here,” Leo explained, almost like he’d thought about doing it before, “who's gonna find your supplies then?” Michael fell silent. He still looked furious, but he knew he couldn’t have that happen. Leo smiled a nearly undetectable smile before turning and pulling me along, down to the bar. 

“Once-best-friend-fucker is the best insult I’ve ever been called,” I chuckled to Leo, trying to lighten the mood. 

“He’s probably jealous, he’s far past his prime,” he laughed, offering a wink and a cocky smile, “he doesn’t like the fact that I got the man of my dreams and he’s gonna be forever alone.”

“I still don’t understand why you talk about me like I’m not even human,” I mentioned, quieting down. 

“I have a hard time believing you are,” he admitted, chuckling a little bit, “someone as perfect as you shouldn’t exist, especially in a place like this. And yet here you are, right by my side.” He huffed out a shaky breath, that familiar, completely love struck look on his face. 

“Alright, alright, you’re gonna give me cavities if you keep acting so sweet,” I joked as we entered the bar, our hands finally drifting away from each other. Leo and I took a set by ourselves, as I wasn’t too interested in talking to Destiny at the moment. We ate quietly, chatting about nonsense and joking with each other, ignoring Michael as he walked in. Our legs tangled under the table and we both tripped a little bit when we tried to get up to leave the bar. Nobody seemed to notice as we slipped out of the building and headed to bed, since I was feeling pretty worn out from the day. 

It was colder outside now, and snow fell in large flakes, landing gently in Leo’s curly hair. I reached up and twirled my fingers around a few of his curls, watching the snow melt from the heat of my hand, and he hummed out a happy little sigh. 

“I love when snow falls like this,” I mentioned, pulling my hand out of his hair as we walked towards our little apartment building. I looked up and stuck my tongue out, trying to catch one of the fluffy flakes on my tongue. Leo’s little giggle warmed me to the core as a single snowflake landed on my tongue and melted immediately. I smiled to myself and looked down as we entered the old hotel, my nose and fingers regaining feeling from the lack of the cold wind.

We headed upstairs and Leo walked me over to my room. He reached up and rested a gloved hand on the side of my face and pulled me down into a deep kiss, one that ached with ‘I don't want you to leave me, not even for a second’. I pulled back from him, a smile wide on my face. 

“Wait here,” I told him as I opened my bedroom door and flicked the light on - something I hadn’t grown used to yet. I wandered over to my bed and pulled my blankets and pillows off of it, stacking them all awkwardly in my arms. I turned to see Leo leaning in the doorway, a confused yet amused expression on his face. I walked back out into the hallway and asked him to turn off the light and shut the door, to which he said ‘of course,’ like always. He followed me as I headed up one flight of stairs, still not entirely sure what I was up to, and I nudged the door to his room open once I reached it. I used my shoulder to flick the light on and I threw my blankets onto the already unmade bed that belonged to the man behind me. 

“Oh,” he uttered out, and I turned to watch a wide smile stretch across his face.

“Mind if I stay a while?” I proposed, sitting myself down on the bed. The mattress was far softer than my own, and I didn’t really want to stand back up. Just wanted to lie down and snuggle up to Leo until I fell asleep. 

“Are you kidding?” He laughed, walking over and tackling me down into the bed, “months, I’ve wanted to do this.” He nuzzled into my neck and I giggled at the feeling, his hair tickling me. He pushed himself up and smiled down at me before pulling me out of the bed. “I should probably make this, it’s a disaster.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” I assured him, but he was already pushing everything off the bed and onto the floor, taking one of his own blankets and trying to arrange it onto the bed neatly. 

“Eh, it needs to be done anyways,” he chuckled, “I haven’t made it since I showed up here.”

“Fine, fine,” I relented, “I know I can’t stop you.” I watched him for a moment as he tried to straighten out the bed that was about to have two extremely not straight people in it.

I pulled my jacket off and the frigid air hit my bare arms, but I knew I’d get hot under a bunch of blankets and next to a human furnace. I draped my jacket over the dresser at the end of the room before leaning back against the dresser in a lazy way that I knew would catch Leo’s attention. I brought my hands up to the collar of my button up shirt and started undoing the buttons, and Leo’s eyes shot up to me, his hands idly smoothing down a blanket. He watched my fingers as I slipped a few more buttons free, the cool air brushing against my chest and bringing goosebumps to my skin. 

“God, you are just eye candy,” he sighed out, leaving the bed half-made and waltzing over to me. His gaze scanned over me once he got right up close, and he placed his hands on the next button down, looking up at me curiously. “May I?”

“Please,” I smiled, leaning back further into the dresser as he pushed a white button through blue fabric. Once the last button was unhooked, he slid his hands along my chest and up to my shoulders, where he could push the shirt off completely. It fell onto the top of the dresser and he coasted his hands down my sides, his eyes falling on the tattoo on the right side of my rib cage. He traced a finger along the outline of the snake winding along my ribs - a tattoo I had gotten when I was 17 and never really thought of a meaning behind it. I just liked how it looked, and wanted another piece of art on me. 

I twitched slightly and let out a little laugh as his finger grazed a sensitive bit of skin along the edge of the dagger that the snake was wrapped around, and he smiled a sly little smile. He leaned down, bending his knees so that he could press a kiss to the little spot of sensitive skin. A little gasp escaped my chest and I could feel a blush rise to my cheeks. I tried to play the gasp off as another laugh, but Leo knew he’d hit a chord. He slid down to sit on his knees in front of me and he pressed a line of kisses along my rib cage. I reached down and dug my hands into his hair, pushing his goggles off, and they thunked against the wooden floorboards, being forgotten about as Leo dragged his teeth between two of my ribs, sending a shiver up my spine. He sucked on a few patches of skin, leaving hickeys that left me melting, my body temperature rising and pushing all the cold out. 

Leo pulled back from my abdomen and went to stand up, but I pushed him back down gently with my hands still tangled in his hair. 

“Not a chance, you’re not getting up yet,” I chuckled, that dominant tone taking over for the first time in a long while. His eyebrows lifted a few centimetres and a light blush touched his cheeks as he smiled up to me. 

“Oh? And who’s going to stop me?” He challenged, sitting up to nip at the skin just above my belly button. I responded by tightening my grip in his hair, and he laughed breathily against my stomach. He reached up and pressed his thumbs into the middle of my wrist, forcing me to let go of his hair. He took the chance to jump up and pin my wrists to the dresser behind me, leaning right up against me as he did. “What was that?” He asked innocently as I tried to pull my hands from his grasp. 

“Bastard,” I commented, leaning forward to bite his bottom lip gently. He hummed in response, loosening his grip on my wrists but not enough for me to break free. 

“Hmm, I think you meant ‘sorry Leo, my sad excuse of dominance sucked ass,’” he mentioned, dipping his head down so he could press hot kisses to my neck, “do me a favour and keep your hands to yourself.” He let go of my wrists and placed his hands on my sides, pulling me forward. The edge of the dresser stopped digging into my back and he led me over to the bed that was still only half made. I completely disregarded his wishes and brought my hands up, wrapping them around the back of his neck. I dragged him up into an open mouthed kiss, shooting my tongue into his own. He hummed in response, sucking on my piercing gently. 

He dragged me down when he sat on the edge of the bed, pulling his lips back from mine. “You were never good at following rules,” he chuckled, grabbing my hands, keeping a gentle yet strong pressure on them. I bent over awkwardly as he pinned them to the bed on either side of his thighs, refusing to fall to my knees for the moment. I wanted him to fight for it, to lose that ‘I’m in charge here’ attitude.

“I’m sure as hell not doing what you say,” I responded, leaning down to kiss his freckled shoulder. I couldn’t stop myself from pressing my teeth into the soft skin, but he didn’t seem to mind one bit. In fact, goosebumps rose on his nearby skin. He let go of one of my hands and placed a hand on the side of my face, leaning forward so he could whisper in my ear. 

“Is this okay? What we’re doing?” He asked, loosening his grip on my other hand. His hand on my face fell slowly, his fingers dragging against my skin, making me twitch a little bit.

“Of course. I’m just fucking with you, having a little fun,” I assured him, tilting my head so I could kiss his cheek. 

“Good, just thought I’d check,” he said, a smile crossing his face. 

“You’re a real sweetheart, y’know?” I told him, lowering myself down onto my knees. 

“Whatever you say,” he responded, his face becoming a tad more red than before, “oh, here,” he continued, reaching back behind him and grabbing one of the non-folded blankets. He dropped it on the floor and bent over so he could push it under where my knees would be. I dropped down onto the blanket, my knees being cushioned from the hardwood floor. 

“So are you gonna stop being a, and no pun intended, cocky bastard?” I asked, unbuttoning his jeans slowly. 

“I might have a hard time stopping myself with you between my thighs like that,” he chuckled, reaching down and pulling my eyepiece off gently. I still couldn’t understand how he didn’t mind what my empty eye socket looked like, that it didn’t creep him out. 

“Well then you’ll have a hard time finishing yourself off too,” I returned, pulling his jeans down a bit and pressing my palm against his erection that was fighting against the fabric of his underwear. He huffed out a little sigh and bit down on his lip, and fuck did it make him look sexier than anyone I’d ever seen. 

“You’re a doll,” he commented, his voice full of love and arousal, and I smiled up at him as I pulled his dick out, trying to remember the last time I’d given anyone head. It had been a very long time, that’s for sure. “Really, how’d an angel like you end up here?”

“Well, I mean, it started with a bastard and a surveyor,” I joked, pressing a kiss to the head of his dick. He let out a little breathy laugh, lacing a hand through my hair. I rested my hands on the tops of his thighs and stuck my tongue out to run it along the bottom of his cock, from base to tip. I made sure my piercing pressed against his skin, and it made his whole body twitch, another laugh escaping his chest. 

“Good god, everyone needs to have one of those piercings,” he mentioned, squeezing his hand in my hair, tugging back a little bit. I hummed at the feeling. “Oh, you’re into that, huh? I kinda figured you were, even back when we first met.” I took a breath and wrapped my lips around his dick, hoping it’d shut him up for a little bit. He gasped quietly in response, and I knew it had been a long time since he’d done this as well. I squeezed his thighs in my hands and pushed my mouth down, hoping my gag reflex didn’t act up. I used to be the king of sucking dicks in college, so hopefully I hadn’t lost my talent in the past few years. He pulled back on my hair again, making me hum again, and that had Leo mumbling slurs under his breath. I made sure to press my piercing into the bottom of his dick as hard as I could, which would always earn me some sort of praise and a tug on my hair, which always had me melting. I really wished he wasn’t wearing those gloves of his, but I’m sure he’d just forgotten about them and I didn’t want to stop what I was doing in order to speak. 

I could begin to feel my knees aching under me, despite the blanket protecting them from bruising. I didn’t mind too much, but I’d have to remember that for next time. I hollowed my cheeks out around his cock and he sighed loudly, tossing his head back. He pushed my head down a tad too far and I forced myself not to gag, but I felt moisture gather in my eyes. I wasn’t going to cry, it didn’t hurt that much, but I hoped he didn’t notice. Knowing Leo, he’d get worried about it and it would totally ruin the mood. 

“Mmm, fuck, I’m really damn close, darling,” he said, his voice low and shaky. I definitely wasn’t used to nicknames like darling, or angel, or doll, but the way he said it had my skin heating up to a billion degrees. Leo pulled back on my hair roughly, and I wondered how much hair I’ll have lost by the end of the night. Not that it mattered, it was so worth it. Leo’s thighs shook under my hands and I could feel his muscles flexing, which warned me about the cumshot that was about to hit the back of my throat. I pushed my head down as far as I could and he climaxed, his cum sliding down my throat and coating my mouth. I popped my mouth off his dick and licked my lips, smiling up at Leo, who was flushed a bright red and clearly a tad surprised. He took a deep breath and pulled his hands out of my hair gently, placing a few fingers under my chin to lift it slightly. 

“I hope I didn’t lose my charm,” I mentioned, swallowing hard. 

“I - absolutely not,” he laughed breathily, pulling me up off my knees, “that was - that was something, let me tell you. I didn’t expect you to swallow.” He undid my belt and went to pulling my jeans down.

“Oh, I’m not really interested, it’s okay,” I told him quietly, kicking my jeans off the rest of the way, “feeling pretty tired now.” He ditched his own jeans on the floor as well.

“Hm. Suit yourself,” he agreed, climbing off the bed slowly, “if you change your mind, I’d love to help you out.” He slid his gauntlets off and tossed them nonchalantly, but I gently grabbed his arms and inspected the red, blotchy skin above his elbows. 

“You’re sure it doesn’t hurt?” I asked sluggishly as he shrugged his overcoat off.

“Positive. Just a bit itchy, is all.”

“I could probably just take the metal part off, replace it with something without nickel in it,” I offered, letting go of his arms so he could pull his overcoat all the way off. I wrapped my fingers around the bottom of his grey t-shirt, and he happily lifted his arms so I could pull it over his head. 

“I don’t want to make more work for you,” he mentioned, scratching his chest lightly. 

“I'd like to,” I assured him, and something enticed me to drag my fingers along his collarbone, “whatever, we’ll talk about it tomorrow. I’m too in love with your freckles to talk about anything else.” Tiny, minuscule freckles dragged along his collarbone and down his arms and back, and I wanted to try and count them like they were the stars in the sky. He just shook his head and smiled coyly, urging me into bed as he wandered over to the door, flipping the light switch off. He climbed into bed with me in the pitch dark and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I sighed out into his chest, and he hummed happily, digging a hand into my hair gently. I tossed a leg over one of Leo’s and snuggled deeper into his chest and the several blankets draped around me, forcing the cold out of me. Leo’s fingers scratched gently at my scalp, lulling me to sleep better than anything ever had before. 

I fell asleep to the quiet  _ tick, tick, tick,  _ of the pocket watch sitting on the bedside table. 


	6. Wait, You Know Each Other?

_Leo Smith, spring 2158._

I leaned against the doorway of the workshop and gazed across the room to look at Isaac, who was sitting at his desk like always. He was bent over a laptop and the surveyor sat beside him on the ground, still deactivated. His fingers danced across the keyboard, hitting keys far harder than he needed to. He was stressed out, I knew that. We all were, but he was getting the worst of it. 

It started back in the winter, around New Years. Todd had come up with what he thought was a cure, and we caught an Afflicted to test it out on, nearly losing both Robbie and Lilith. The Afflicted had gone crazy when Todd administered his ‘cure,’ and it basically exploded like a stage six. Lilith had gotten a nasty cut on her hand and some of the infected ooze had touched her, so she was quick to tell me to take my knife to her elbow, severing it completely. That was months ago now, and Lilith was still alive and healthy, but half the camp was still pretty cautious around her - both because she used to be a guard and because of the risk of infection. Isaac and Todd had spent months trying to design a prosthetic for Lilith, and the geniuses that they are managed, but it set them both back a million miles. Todd no longer had any idea on how to even start on a new cure, and Isaac had barely made any progress on the surveyor in that time frame. 

Something was definitely wrong with Isaac’s progress. He always just said ‘I’m still working on it,’ or ‘give it time,’ but nothing ever seemed to change. He seemed so confident that he could fix it up when we’d first gotten it, but now he refused to even talk about it, not even with me. I knew that’s why he was distancing himself from me - we wouldn’t really explore outside anymore or have long talks about our future together or do anything fun, really. We’d just be near each other, I could tell he felt better when I was just there, and when we’d head up to bed he’d just get a death grip on me, not daring to let go. So I’d just hold him and run my hand along his back until he fell asleep in my arms, and even then I wouldn’t let go of him. Sometimes I’d ask him if there was anything I could do to make him feel better, but he’d always just tell me he was fine, that nothing was wrong. 

I snapped back to reality as I heard a quiet sob from across the room. _No, no, no, you don’t cry. You never have._ My instincts kicked in and I jogged over to him and put my hand in his back as I crouched down to his level. Tears streamed from his good eye and he looked at me like he’d just watched the world burn. I put a hand on the back of his head and pulled him down into my chest, holding him tight and rocking back and forth slightly.

“It’s okay,” I whispered to him, “it’ll be okay.” I didn’t know what else to tell him. I just wanted to pick him up, put him into a car, and drive away with him, through the wall and out to literally anywhere else. 

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed into my shoulder, his hands keeping a death grip on the back of my overcoat. 

“Please, don’t say that,” I pleaded with him, squeezing him tight in my arms. He slid off his chair and crawled into my lap, and I leaned back into the cool floor. “You never need to say that to me, you know that.”

“I can’t -” he took a deep, ragged breath, and I pressed a kiss to his forehead, “I can’t do it, Leo. I can’t - I can’t fix it. I tried, I tried _so hard,_ but I just _can’t_.”

“I know you did,” I cooed, my heart burning in my chest, “and you’re not done yet. You’re not going to give up. I won’t let you.”

“I don’t even know what to do,” he mumbled, sitting back slightly so he could look up at me. I reached up and wiped his tears away, tears that never should’ve existed on his face. 

“You’ll figure it out,” I assured quietly, bumping my forehead against his, “you’re a genius, you can figure anything out.”

“I - I don’t know how to do this,” he huffed, shaking in my arms, “I really don’t - it’s not - I’ve never learned the things I need to know to fix the programming. I’m not as smart as you think I am.” His voice was so broken, so scared, and I couldn’t stand it. I hated to let myself realize that he wasn’t the genius I saw him as, that he didn’t get a chance to finish school. 

“Why… why don’t you just - and this is just a wild guess - but why don’t you just start over? Erase everything and do it your way? It might be harder but you know how to do it,” I tried to offer, and he sniffled a bit, thinking for a moment. 

“But - it’s so much work just wasted,” he mentioned, looking at the surveyor beside us. I lifted him onto his feet and placed my hands on his shoulders to stabilize him. 

“Think of it as… falling forward into the finish line, I guess,” I told him, throwing worlds together. He snorted a little bit and my whole spirit lifted. 

“Please explain what’s the bloody hell you're talking about.”

“Like… you’re going to get a few scrapes and bumps, but you’re still moving forward in the long run,” I tried to explain, but I slowly felt dumber and dumber as I spoke. 

“Since when were you a poet?” Isaac joked, “that was a pretty good metaphor.”

“I have no idea, you know I’m not good with words,” I laughed, reaching up to smooth out his hair, “so… what do you say? Give it a try?” He sighed a long sigh. 

“I… I guess I’ll try,” he agreed apprehensively, “but what am I supposed to tell everyone? I’ve been telling everyone that things are going fine, that it’s working but - I mean - fuck, I was lying and I don’t know what they’ll all say.”

“Just tell them the truth, you know they’ll forgive you,” I assured him, my heart sinking as he fell back into that dark place in his mind. 

“But - Michael, I’m already on thin ice with him.”

“And? None of us will let that happen, you know that.” I always felt the need to point out that he knew everything would be okay, that he just forgot about it. He liked to ignore that fact, for some reason. Always fear the worst. He let out another breath and his shoulders relaxed under my hands. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he admitted, leaning down and sharing a kiss with me. I could taste the salt of his tears, but I liked to think I’d made him stop crying. He hummed against my lips before pulling back, taking a breath to try and relax as best he could. 

“I love you,” I told him. Neither of us were much for words explaining how we felt, but sometimes we just needed to hear it. We both knew we loved each other to the end of the world (literally speaking, nowadays,) every touch or kiss or smile or nod or glance just echoed with how we felt towards the other. 

“I love you too,” he responded, reaching a hand up and resting it against my face, “I guess I should get back to work. Have to plan out what I’m gonna tell Michael.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I tried to tell him, but I knew he wouldn’t listen. He sat back down in his chair roughly and I leaned over to kiss the top of his head again. 

“Go make yourself busy, come back in an hour and check on me,” he said, tilting his head back to offer me a smile. 

“Okay,” I spoke softly, “if you start feeling anything but happy, come find me and… I don’t know, we can go make out in an alleyway or something,” I continued jokingly, and he chuckled. 

“Will do.” I turned and walked out of the room, leaving him to his own devices. I didn’t really want to leave, but I’d do what he said no matter what it was. When I got outside, I noticed Destiny sitting on the beach, sorting through the things in her backpack.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked as I approached, shielding my eyes from the sun. 

“Not much,” she responded idly, pulling a bungee cord out of her bag, “just trying to organize things, get rid of stuff I don’t need. Robbie and I are going scavenging soon.”

“Cool, cool,” I commented, looking out at the ocean. There were a few big, fluffy clouds in the bright blue sky, and the ocean’s waves were calm. 

“How’s Isaac?”

“He’s fine,” I told her, which was partly true. 

“You’ve both been broken records for months, I’m starting to think he’s not okay,” she mentioned, looking up at me and tossing her dark hair out of her face. 

“You think I’d let him not be okay?” I asked, a bit offended. Never, no matter what, would I not be there to cheer him up, to hug him, to tell him I love him, to try until I died to make him even the littlest bit happier. 

“I didn’t say that, I’m just worried about you guys,” she said, “we’ve all been down lately.”

“Right, okay,” I mumbled blandly, “I’m going to go find Lilith, see how she’s doing out there.”

“Let her know I fucking hate her but she’s got nice tits,” she mentioned, laughing slightly. I chuckled a bit and shook my head, turning to walk down the road toward the edge of our base. Lilith tended to spend most of her time over that way, set up in an old apartment building with a sniper pointing out the window. The sniper only had sleeping darts in it, an order from Isaac, but she accepted that. She wanted to keep watch out that way since that was the one side of the base not protected by anything - the ocean to one side, the Syndicate on another, and the Anarchists on the third. Apparently quite a few people were trying to jump the fence and get into camp, but the majority couldn’t jump that high or they’d get caught on the barbed wire above. Lilith always made quick work of them, and she’d go and drag them away to a safer area until they woke up. 

When I reached the building she was hiding in, I entered silently and snuck upstairs, wincing as an old step creaked under my weight. Once I got upstairs, I peeked into an open doorway to see Lilith concentrated on the view outside, looking for any tiny movement. Habit wanted me to sit by the door and observe for a moment, but my mind simply said ‘eh, she’s not as interesting as Isaac.’ I knocked on the door frame, making myself known as I entered. She snapped around quickly but relaxed when she noticed it was me. 

“Oh, hey,” she greeted, turning to look back out the window. She had her jacket tied around her waist, her bare arms showing under her short sleeves. 

“Des told me to tell you that she hates you but you have nice tits,” I mentioned, moving to sit beside her in an old, wooden chair. 

“The feeling’s mutual,” she chuckled, leaning back in her own chair. 

“You guys ever going to fuck or is that off the table?”

“Eh… I mean, she’s got a sexy body and a pretty face but I don’t know… she _did_ shoot me,” she explained, crossing her ankles in front of her. 

“That was months ago,” I pointed out, bringing my hands behind my head and lacing my fingers together, “who knows, maybe you could have a nice relationship, something a bit more than fuck buddies?”

“You know I don’t really swing that way, I’m not interested in long term stuff at the moment. Plus, I doubt we’d get along anyways.”

“You never know,” I chuckled, fond memories of myself and Isaac resurfacing, “Ize pretty much hated me when we first met, y’know? And look at us now, stuck together like glue.”

“Nah, you’re fucking with me,” she insisted, seeming a bit surprised.

“It’s true, ask him!” I laughed, “I was pretty bad with introducing myself and such, kinda came off as a dick. I didn’t mean to, obviously, I was just a nervous, horny wreck around him. We started to get along within a week, though.”

“Wow, sexual tension, huh?”

“Nope, he just really didn’t like me. Took him a bit to realize he had the hots for me,” I chuckled, that weird, warm, bubbly feeling rising in my stomach. Fuck, I was lucky. Luckier than I ever should be. 

“You can keep telling me that but I’ll never believe you,” she mentioned, looking at her left hand. Well, it wasn’t her hand - it was completely robotic, all the way up to her elbow. She admired it silently, and she always acknowledged how talented Isaac and Todd were for throwing it together with what we had. It didn’t move perfectly like a human hand did, and there were certain parts she had to grease regularly, but she could function with it and never complained about it once. 

“It really seems unbelievable, even to me,” I assured, “there’s not even the tiniest bit of malice between us anymore, hasn’t been for a very long time.”

“You two are really something,” she pointed out, and I nodded proudly. Lilith was the only person I talked to about Isaac with. As far as I was aware, everyone else in camp either thought we were still dancing around each other or were just best friends who fucked occasionally, not completely in love with each other, willing to do anything for the other. 

“I like to think so too,” I said, smiling to myself, “say, I don’t think I’ve ever asked, but what was your… I don’t know how to word it… guard ‘training’?”

“Nothing too impressive, really,” she began, leaning forward to peek through the scope of the sniper rifle in front of her, “basically just long workout routines daily, barely any free time. They taught us how to use military weapons, now to make weapons out of nothing, sort of thing. First aid, too. Other than that, it was just really mundane stuff, like reciting protocols and such.”

“Sounds rough,” I commented, but she shrugged. 

“For some it was. Me, not so much. I just kept my head down and did as I was told, didn’t get noticed very much. I’m just glad I happened to be on duty that day when you guys found me.” She poked at a wire on her hand idly, but I could hear the gratitude in her voice. 

“We’re all glad you’re here, too, trust me,” I assured, reaching over to pat her shoulder roughly, “those other bastards out there might not say it but we appreciate you being here.”

“I don’t need your appreciation, man, I’ll be fine,” she argued, keeping her eyes trained out the window, “I’m happy as long as I’m not kicked out.”

“Right, of course. You’re still a stone cold bastard,” I chuckled, putting my hands in my lap and leaning forward a bit. We sat in silence for a while, and my thoughts naturally drifted to Isaac for the majority of that time, until the sun started to near the horizon behind us. “I think I’m going to head back, go check on Isaac. Make sure he’s not working himself to death,” I decided, standing up and heading for the door. 

“I’ll be back for dinner,” she mentioned as I left, heading down the rickety stairs of the dark building. The way back to the centre of our camp was quiet, like usual. There wasn’t really anything within the gates anymore, not only people, but also what’s left of the wildlife. Birds even tended to stay away, but I hadn’t seen a bird in years.

When I got back to the beginning of the little beach and the workshop and the hotel, I found a little gathering on the street. I wandered over and slotted myself next to Isaac, who was biting at his nails nervously. His whole demeanour screamed ‘I’m nervous,’ in fact. I placed my hand on his back and he snapped his eye down to me. 

“Alright, Todd, how's progress been?” Michael asked Todd. Todd looked completely wrecked, and not in the good way. So tired and disappointed. 

“Nothing yet,” he mumbled, bringing his hands up to press his fingers to his temples, “I’m trying, trust me. Just no luck.”

“Right… of course, of course,” Michael sighed, crossing his arms. 

“Hey, don’t be a dick about it. He’s trying,” Roma mentioned, reaching over to pat Todd on the back gently. Michael just rolled his eyes. 

“Isaac, then,” he began, and Isaac looked up with a terrified expression, “oh good lord, what happened?”

“I - I uh,” he tried to say past his fingers, “there’s nothing. I started over,” he forced out, shutting his eye tightly. 

“What? Why!?” 

“I… I couldn’t - I didn’t know how to fix it!” Isaac spoke exasperatedly, “so - so Leo said ‘why don’t you just start over’ and I did!” He hiccuped loudly and buried his face in his hands. I couldn’t stop myself from wrapping my arms around his shoulders and dragging him into a tight hug, whispering little assurances to him. 

“You fucking moron,” Michael groaned, “so you’ve been lying to me the whole time? It’s been _months_!” That little statement there, it made me snap from worried and upset to fucking furious. I grabbed the gun out of Isaac’s holster on his hip and aimed it directly at Michael’s stupid fucking skull. 

“Say it one more time,” I encouraged darkly, cocking the gun back roughly. 

“No, no, no, Leo no,” Isaac warned immediately, reaching forward slowly. I did something I never would’ve done in the right frame of mind, taking a step away from him so he couldn’t take the pistol from me. I groaned out angrily and pointed the gun at the ground, firing off a few rounds into the pavement. 

“Woah, woah, woah, calm down!” Roma said quickly, and I cranked my arm back before throwing the gun off into the distance. It landed in the sand off the road. 

“You motherfucking bitch,” I growled, referring to Michael. I pulled my hands through my hair roughly, trying to stop myself from even punching the bastard. “Treat him with some goddamn respect, he deserves it so much.”

“Leo…” Isaac trailed off, and I could tell he was a bit conflicted. Upset and scared and pissed off yet grateful and so full of love. 

“Shhh, you can yell at me later,” I told him as I stared Michael down. 

“I won’t,” he assured, taking a deep, shaky breath. He turned his gaze to Michael. “He’s right. I could use a little more appreciation from you considering I’m trying to fucking help. It’s all I’ve ever done down here. What have you even been doing?”

“What have _I_ been doing?” Michael asked like he was offended, but I honestly had the same question. He just tended to disappear during the day and come out in the evening to yell at people. “I’ve been organizing you all! You’d all be in shambles without me!”

“Bullshit! You just make our morale go way down, give us way less motivation,” Isaac pointed out, burying his hands in his jeans’ front pockets. He hunched his shoulders over begrudgingly. Fuck, he looked sexy like that, but I couldn’t think about the right now. 

“Listen, I -” Michael began, but he was cut off from a distant call. 

“Hey guys! We found someone!” Destiny called as she led a group along with her. It was Robbie and Lilith, that I could recognize, but there was another blond in the group. A younger guy, taller than Lilith but shorter than Destiny. 

“No,” Isaac uttered out, “no, no, no, it’s not you.” 

“Fuckin’ Isaac?! Haha! I found you!” The unknown man cheered, and I was immediately lost. Isaac never said anything about knowing literally anyone else in this city. 

“You bastard! You fucking left me there!” Isaac accused. _Oh, it’s one of them. From before Isaac came here._

“What? I came back for you! Adam screwed you over, not me!” The man that I already very much didn’t like claimed. 

“Wait, you know each other?” Robbie asked curiously. 

“This fucker left me at the wall. I nearly died.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I pushed Adam back over too,” the man pointed out, “he snapped one of his legs, the surveyor pulverized him.” Isaac turned his head to look down. 

“Well he didn’t deserve to die, especially not like that,” he said quietly, “and Karmin?”

“She took off into the wasteland, I have no idea if she’s alive anymore.”

“Wasteland?” Roma asked slowly. 

“As far as I could see.”

“So that’s why you came back, coward,” I pointed out. I wanted to say more, but I was so overwhelmed. I couldn’t imagine what Isaac was going through. 

“Who even are you?” The blond man asked, gesturing vaguely at me.

“Who am I? Who are _you_?” I shot back, rolling my shoulders back, “remember whose territory you’re in, boy.”

“Carson. Carson Petty.”

“You’re sure as hell living up to that last name,” Isaac joked maliciously, spitting on the pavement threateningly, “now kindly walk your ass back to the shambles of your home, you’re not welcome here.”

“Oh, come on! You can’t kick me out, I came back to _help_ you! Please let me stay,” Carson begged like a bitch-ass coward. 

“I - Y’know what? I’m not dealing with this shit,” Isaac sighed angrily, putting his hands up in defeat, “Michael, your call. Make yourself useful for once.” I knew something was up there - Isaac must fucking _hate_ Carson if he’s giving Michael the go ahead. Isaac turned and walked away, towards the hotel, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. I took one last glance at the group around me before jogging after him. When I caught up, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, the only gesture I could think to do at the moment. My actions didn’t really matter at the moment, Isaac huffing out a long sigh and pulling his hand away from me. _Oh no, please no. Don’t be mad at me._

I really didn’t have to worry about that. Isaac turned, grabbed my face between both his hands, and dragged me into an anger fueled kiss. I gasped out of surprise and the bastard slid his tongue right between my lips, full on Frenching me in front of a crowd I knew was watching, but I couldn’t give any fucks about. I hummed into his mouth and curved my body into his, completely melting into the kiss. I was left feeling hot and bothered when he pulled back, raking his hands through his hair again. 

“Do me a favour?” I nodded slightly. _Of course, I’ll do anything for you._ “Go get two plates of food and a bottle of liquor from Anthony, bring them to our room.” With that, he turned and headed off into the retrofitted hotel. I laughed a breathy laugh to myself, glancing at the group who happened to watch that whole exchange. 

“What? Jealous?” I joked, my confidence sky high and my anger diffusing. I began walking towards the bar down the road, pulling my light grey t-shirt down. “I would be too, if I were you.” I turned a cocky smile to myself as I walked away, entering the bar before anyone else did. 

“Hello, hello,” Anthony greeted from behind the bar, washing some dishes. 

“Hey, some dick just showed up, old acquaintance of Isaac’s, so heads up,” I mentioned, leaning against the bar, “Ize is in an awful mood, could I just grab dinner from you and we can go eat alone?”

“Oh, yes, of course,” he spoke with a smile, heading into the back room without asking any further questions. While he was gone, I leaned over the counter and fished out a full bottle of vodka, tucking it into an inner pocket in my overcoat. It hung awkwardly, but Anthony didn’t notice as he returned with two plates of fish Michael had gotten out of the ocean. That was one thing he was good for, I guess. 

“Thanks man,” I told him, and he nodded with a wide smile. 

“I think you’ll both like it, the fish is fresh from this morning.” I didn’t care to talk about food, really, but Anthony had a heart of gold and I liked listening to him talk about something with such passion. I gave him one last farewell and headed across the street, into the hotel, and up the stairs. When I got into our room, I found Isaac already shirtless and lounging on our bed. 

“Well hello, hot stuff,” I complimented as I handed him one of the plates. I looked him over, admiring the black lines that laced his skin near his ribs and on his upper arms. 

“Not so bad yourself,” he chuckled, “but damn was that a mindfuck out there. Lock the door?” 

“Yeah, that was fucking chaotic,” I laughed with him, feeling a whole lot better now that he was clearly feeling alright. I wandered over and locked our door before returning to the bed, sitting down next to him, digging into dinner. “Quite the stunt you pulled out there.”

“I couldn’t help myself, you standing up for me like that is so sexy in my mind,” he mentioned, blinking slowly with his remaining eye. I reached over and pulled his old eyepiece off, setting it on the bedside table. He ran a finger down the side of his nose from where the metal had pressed against it as he took another bite. 

“I’m not complaining,” I assured, “say, are you gaining weight? I know I see you every day so I can’t really tell but I can’t see your ribs anymore.” In a time like this, gaining weight tended to always be a good thing. Isaac was skinny when I first met him, but all the stress from the recent months had gotten him even thinner and it concerned me so much that I forced him to eat. It clearly worked a little bit, at least. 

“I have no idea. I feel a lot better recently health-wise, though,” he told me, “oh, did you bring the alcohol?”

“Yep,” I chuckled, pulling the bottle out of my overcoat and setting it between us. 

“I’m going to down half of that and ruin you,” he mentioned in a low voice, a cocky smile touching his lips. 

“You’d better, I don’t think I’d survive if you didn’t,” I responded, leaning back into the numerous pillows we had. 

“But seriously, Leo. I really mean it when I say thank you for sticking up for me like that. Maybe don’t pop a cap in Michael’s head though, but good lord I love you so much.” He looked down, his hair falling into his eyes. He said he needed a haircut, but I thought it looked cute a little bit longer than before. A lot easier to dig my hands into, anyways. 

“I love you too, darling,” I responded, getting that bubbly feeling inside that I usually got when I was around Isaac. His cheeks flushed a bit like they always did when I called him anything other than Isaac, and I was just so in love with the way he looked at the moment. 

He popped the top off of the bottle of vodka I had stolen for him and took a mouthful right out of the bottle. He winced and swallowed hard, his whole body shivering at the strong taste. He held the bottle out to me and I took it reluctantly. I should’ve grabbed some whiskey while I was downstairs, vodka was too strong for me. But hey, if it would get me drunk, I’d drink it. I took a relatively small sip out of the bottle and couldn’t stop my face from screwing up at the taste. I took a few bites of my food to try and wash the taste away, and Isaac continued to slowly nurse at the bottle for the next ten minutes or so. 

“Don’t get too drunk on me,” I chuckled, feeling nice and warm and fuzzy inside. I took his empty plate along with my own and set them on the bedside table. Isaac leaned over the side of the bed and pulled his discarded black and white hoodie up, searching in his pockets for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He handed one to me and took another for himself, tossing the package on the small table next to him. He lit the end of his cigarette before tossing me the lighter and leaning back into the pillows behind him. I watched him relax into the mattress, taking a few long drags from his cigarette as I lit my own. 

He looked so pretty like that, flushed red and drunk, smoke drifting past his wet lips. I shifted in bed and rolled into his arms, catching his lips in mine. His mouth was bitter with alcohol, but his lips and tongue moved in such a gentle manner that it warmed me right to the core. I sucked on his tongue piercing for a moment, loving the way it rolled between my lips and tongue and roof of my mouth. It was a bit cold, too, it was perfect. We parted for a moment to finish off our cigarettes and snuffed them out on the wall behind the headboard. We left the ends on my bedside table next to the discarded plates and I’d throw them out the window later. 

Isaac pushed himself out of bed, leaving me a bit cold and lonely. He turned and looked back at me. “Up,” he ordered as he wandered over to the other side of the room. His legs were a bit wobbly under him and I could tell the alcohol was starting to take effect on him. I threw myself out of bed and followed him eagerly, watching him undo his belt buckle and slip if from his belt loops. He set it on the dresser and turned to me again, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me close. I sighed out a shaky breath, excitement welling in my chest, and he smiled down at me. “You’re wearing far too much,” he mentioned, slipping his hands over my shoulders. He pushed my overcoat off and it dropped to the floor behind me.

“Thought you said you were gonna ruin me? You’re going awfully slow,” I chuckled, lifting my arms as he pulled my shirt over my shoulders. He didn’t touch the silver chain hanging around my neck, leaving the cool metal to hang against my hot skin. 

“It’s not bothering me. Is it bothering you?” He asked, a sly smile playing at his lips. He leaned down and pressed a line of kisses down my neck, starting at my ear and travelling down to my collarbone. I arched into him as his hands kept a tight grip on my hips, holding me hostage in his arms. I hummed as he gently ran his teeth down the column of my throat. “I asked you something,” he reminded, speaking against my throat. 

“‘S not bothering me,” I lied, but I knew he could tell. He turned me carefully and leaned me against the dresser, the edge biting into my back in such a nice way. Isaac dragged his teeth along my collarbone and up to my shoulder, where he bit down a little harder. “Why do you always do that?” I asked, running my hands up and down his back. 

“You don’t like it?” He asked into my skin, letting his jaw go slack and his teeth rested idly against my shoulder. 

“I most definitely didn’t say that,” I chuckled, shifting my fingers so I could scratch long lines up his back. A shiver went down his spine and he rutted his hips against mine, our two semi-hard dicks grinding against each other. I let out a little gasp and could feel him smile against my shoulder, where he bit down again and hummed in response. 

“Can’t get enough of your freckles, really,” he explained, his voice muffled against my skin. One of his hands slipped up from my hip and landed on my other shoulder, tracing small circles with his thumb, where a small group of freckles lay. 

“I still can’t understand that,” I mentioned, tangling one of my hands in his hair and squeezing gently. 

“You don’t need to. Just know I love ‘em.” He huffed out a long breath against my shoulder and continued mouthing at the flesh on my slightly sunburnt shoulder for a few moments. I started to feel a little bothered, sick of sitting around and waiting for Isaac to make a move, but I didn’t really want to fight back right now. Well, I did, I very much wanted to, but he had had a bad day and I’m sure he’d enjoy having his way with me without the added work. 

“Ize, angel, pick up the pace,” I requested, grinding my hips up into his as best I could, trying to get even the littlest bit of friction. He pulled his head up from my shoulder and gazed at me with a relatively flat expression. 

“I think you’d find it in your best interest to not tell me what to do,” he growled, leaning in to kiss me, our noses pressing against each other awkwardly because neither of us decided to turn our head. I couldn’t tell if his threat was legitimate or if he wanted me not to listen, so I settled with playing it safe, just sitting back and enjoying the ride. 

Isaac popped the button of my jeans open and pushed them down so they pooled at my ankles. I leaned back against the dresser and tossed my head back far enough that I could see myself in the mirror. I noticed my goggles still stuck to my forehead so I reached up and pushed them off; they thunked against the wooden dresser and my hair fell from my forehead messily. Isaac’s hot mouth trailed kisses down my chest and to one of my nipples, where he worked that magic tongue of his for a little bit. I still couldn’t get over that piercing and the things he could do with it. 

“Mhm, that’s nice right there,” I told him, tugging on his hair far from gently. He hummed in response, the vibrations going straight to my already hard dick. I pushed my hips along his thigh, but it didn’t give me anything close to what I was looking for. Isaac pulled his mouth away from my chest and looked up at me, frowning slightly. _C’mon, tear into me already._

“This isn’t very fun, y’know? Not for me, at least. Why aren’t you fighting back?” He asked, concern tugging at his eyebrows. 

“Oh? I’m so glad you think that because I’m itching for a fight,” I chuckled, immediately pulling him into a deep kiss. I nipped at his bottom lip and our tongues pressed against each other for a moment. He pinned my hips to the dresser roughly and bit my tongue, growling at me slightly. I just melted into the arousal of it all, aching for relief. “Ffffff-fuck-figured I’d let you have your way with me.”

“I will, trust me,” he chuckled, slipping his thumbs under the waistband of my underwear. I wrapped my arms around his neck and watched his face as he looked down between us, pushing my underwear down my thighs. A small smile touched his lips as he took my dick in his warm hand, giving it a few slow strokes. I sighed out in relief, finally having some friction against my aching dick, but I knew it wouldn't last long. Sure enough, after Isaac had sucked a few dark marks into my neck, he let go of my cock and stepped back, leading me over to the bed. 

He picked me up and dropped me onto the bed, and I couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped my lips as my head hit the pillows. Isaac sighed out in exasperation and dropped himself on top of me, pressing a few kisses to my cheeks. 

“Oh, you’re just so fucking cute,” he mumbled into my skin, his hands sliding up and down my abdomen possessively, “I’m kinda jealous other people get to even look at you.” 

“‘S that what it is? Made you feel better, frenching me in front of everyone? Proved I was yours?” I asked, and he rolled off of me for a moment, standing up. He pulled his jeans off and ditched them on the hardwood floor, along with his briefs. He quickly climbed back on top of me and I couldn’t get enough of his skin against mine. 

“See? You’re clever, I knew you’d figure it out,” he said into my chest, laying a few hickeys down on the flushed, freckled skin. He ran his tongue up the expanse of my chest, starting at the top of my slightly pronounced abs and dragging it up to my collarbone. He made eye contact as he did it, and I twitched under his touch. 

“Do that with my dick, eh?” I suggested, tangling a hand in his hair. He hummed like he was debating doing it.

“Nope,” he decided, leaning back and looking me over. My hand slid out of his hair so I rested both of them in my lap. I took a hold of my dick once again and stroked it and a steady pace, keeping direct eye contact with my company. He bit down on his bottom lip and watched for a moment. 

“Sit on my lap then?” I proposed, and his gaze shot up to my own. 

“Not a chance,” he dismissed, leaning over me again. I took his own dick in my other hand and stroked both him and myself at the same pace. He pressed his lips together and hummed. “Sit on mine and I’ll make it worth your while.”

“What could you give me that I don’t already have?” I responded in a challenging tone. Isaac dropped from his hands to his elbows so he could drag his fingers along my face - the bridge of my nose, the high points of my cheek bones, my lips. 

“You’re telling me you’ve already forgotten that time you edged me all night? I think I deserve a bit of payback,” he threatened lowly, but his fingers were so gentle against my skin. A shiver went up my spine at the sound of his voice. His normal voice already got me off, the little growl to it, and then there was his sleepy voice, which was a little more raspy, and then there was _this._ His dominant voice, I suppose. So ragged and low and sexy as hell. 

“Do your worst,” I shot back, but I was a bit nervous. Well, maybe not nervous, but I wasn’t so sure I’d want that. But hey, Isaac was okay when I did it to him. If anything, he said the end result was pure ecstasy, but it really did seem like torture. I knew he’d stop if I asked, so might as well let him try. 

His fingers on his left hand dragged my lip down and slipped past my teeth, leaving me to suck on them. I slowed my hands on both of our dicks down, diverting my focus to my tongue and the three fingers in my mouth. He knew I liked the way his fingers tasted, just as I knew he liked my hands in his hair. I brought both my hands up and tangled all ten of my fingers into his hair, scratching at his scalp as he sucked a few more marks into the skin on my chest. He mumbled a moan out against my skin and I just loved the sound. 

After a few minutes of me sucking on Isaac’s fingers, he pulled them out of my mouth and replaced them with his mouth. His piercing pressed into the bottom of my tongue, and he caught me a bit off guard when he pressed a finger into me slowly. I gasped and let out a ragged moan, one that embarrassed the hell out of me but had Isaac humming out happily. I pulled a hand out of his hair so I could hold it over my mouth in an attempt to quiet my sounds. 

“Don’t,” he growled into my ear, biting at the soft flesh of my earlobe. He brought his free hand up and pinned my wrist down next to my head. “Make those sexy sounds, nobody’s going to hear.” He pushed his middle finger into me and I mumbled out a little moan that I couldn’t hold back completely. Isaac sighed, sounding a tad frustrated. He pressed his fingers up a bit and my whole body jolted as he nudged up against my prostate. 

“ _Fuck,_ ” I moaned out rather loudly, my back arcing up in response. 

“There we go, keep doing that,” he encouraged, biting into my shoulder. I dragged my nails down his back and he hummed out happily. I fell apart as he continued to finger me open, pressing his fingertips against all the right places. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered into my ear, his hot breath sending a shiver up my spine. 

“I think - I think it’s about time you fucked me,” I pointed out, getting a bit hot and bothered. He sat up from me and frowned a bit. 

“You know how to ask more politely than that.” I sighed out in frustration and crossed my arms over my chest. He stopped moving his fingers in response, a whiny groan escaping my lungs. I stared him down in dead silence, trying to intimidate him into changing his mind. It wouldn’t work, obviously, he was dead set on his goal. He pulled his fingers out of me and sat up, clicking his tongue. “Alright well if that’s how you want to play, I can take care of myself then.” He leaned back and took a hold of his dick, jerking himself off to the sight of me below him. I let out a little protesting whine. 

“Fuck you,” I mumbled, reaching down to handle my own dick. He slapped my hand away with his free one and gave me a growl. 

“We can do this for hours, Leo,” he told me, “I can keep you sitting here, aching for sweet release, for _hours.”_ I didn’t know what to do. I was already pretty damn embarrassed at the moment, but I was also getting desperate. “Well, if you change your mind, you know your words.” I watched him get off for a long moment, the knot in my stomach getting tighter and tighter by the second. I let out a long sigh.

“Please, Isaac, I -” I attempted, trying to gather up some courage, “fuck me until I can’t even breathe anymore I beg of you please.” 

“Oh come on, you can do better than that,” he chuckled, patting my head gently, “I’ve heard you say some filthy things before.” My whole body heated up as he watched me with half lidded eyes, waiting for my next words. “Ooooor you could keep silent and watch me finish cause I’m getting pretty close,” he continued, shrugging slightly. 

“I could still overpower you,” I mentioned, turning my face to hide it in a pillow. 

“Aww, you really think so? You look pretty damn pathetic at the moment,” he said, leaning back over me so he could whisper in my ear, “pathetic in the adorably harmless sense.” 

“Dick me down so fucking roughly I can’t walk tomorrow,” I spoke quickly, feeling pretty damn pathetic. He leaned back to look at me, concern edging his features. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, running a hand against my thigh. I nodded a bit, offering him a smile. 

“Yeah, ‘course I am. Just, y’know, a bit embarrassed. I was never very good at the whole submissive thing.” He smiled down at me and brushed some of my hair out of my eyes. 

“Neither of us are,” he pointed out, laughing a bit. He pressed the tip of his cock into me, making me gasp a bit and let out a low moan. 

“You’ve at least got a pretty voice,” I told him, biting down on my lip as he slid all the way in. I reached up and dug my nails into his back as he slowly moved in and out. He gripped my thighs, leaning his head back slightly as he picked up a bit of speed. 

“I don’t,” he claimed between deep breaths, the tip of his dick brushing against my prostate. I moaned out lowly and he leaned over, burying his face in my neck. “You very much do when you make sounds like that.”

“Shut up,” I chuckled, digging a hand in his hair and scratching behind his ears. He breathed hard against my neck and the movement of his hips was getting erratic, letting me know that he was just as close to finishing as I was. The head of his cock nudged up against my prostate and I choked out a moan, forgetting how to breathe for a moment. I squeezed his hair tight as he bumped into my prostate a few more times, and the pressure in my gut finally released. Isaac thrust his hips against mine a few more times before he let out a low groan into my ear and I felt him spill his load inside me. 

It was quiet for a minute, hard breathing and near silent praises drifting between us. “There you go, there you are,” he mumbled against my cheek, brushing my hair back from my sweaty forehead. He pulled out after a moment and I sighed, still trying to catch my breath. 

“You weren’t nearly as angry and rough as I thought you would be,” I mentioned as he leaned over the side of the bed. He retrieved the towel we kept around for situations like this and ran it across my stomach gently. 

“Eh, I feel better now,” he said, and I smiled a bit. “‘S not like Carson is gonna try to kill me.”

“Exactly,” I agreed, scratching his head gently as he tossed the towel on the floor with our clothes. He climbed out of bed and stumbled over to the light switch, flipping it off. He came back and climbed into bed with me, resting his head on my chest. “Y’know, for us both being drunk and confused, the sex was still good.”

“I think what makes it good is just the fact that we love each other,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to my chest. 

“Aww,” I chuckled, pulling a blanket over top of us. “Cheesy bastard.”

“Shut up.” He nuzzled his face into my chest and huffed out a long breath, throwing a leg over my hips. I stroked his hair rhythmically for a while until both of us finally drifted off to sleep.


	7. The Danger So Near

_ Carson Petty, spring 2158. _

I wiped the sweat off my cheek with my shoulder as I carried a large box of metal scraps down the street. The sun beat across my back and made the pavement hot as tar, exhausting me beyond compare. It had been a long day, going out with Robbie and Lilith to scavenge for some metal parts that Isaac needed, and of course they made me carry everything, and do all the work, and bake in the heat of the sun. I couldn’t even argue with them, I had to keep my head up and do the work or I’d be cast out for the third time this month. 

The first month I was here, nobody really said anything to me. Isaac argued with me and I couldn’t blame him, but Michael never kicked me out for fighting back. Hell, I even targeted Leo a little bit, almost  _ trying  _ to piss him off. I really don’t fucking like him. Now, this month, Michael has… backed down? He’s definitely not in charge anymore but nobody’s said a word about it. It just sort of happened. Michael stopped giving out orders, instead looking to none other than Leo for guidance.  _ Leo.  _ I hated when I was around him, even when I could just see him from 100 meters away. He made my blood boil and I wasn’t completely sure why. 

“Hey bitchboy, Jean wants to see you,” Destiny called from the doorway of the hotel, and the hair raised on the back of my neck. She scared me. She almost scared me more than Lilith; both of them were fucking vicious. I’d been beaten up pretty badly by both of them, but I knew I deserved it. I’d started the fights, and they refused to back down. They were some hard ass motherfuckers, I must say. 

“Right, I’ll go see her in a minute,” I agreed quietly, watching cautiously as Lilith passed me and walked over to Des. Well, I wasn’t really allowed to call her Des, it usually resulted in a very bad threat or a punch being thrown. “I’ll go bring these to Isaac.” I turned to go walk towards the workshop, but not before I noticed Lilith slap Destiny’s ass pretty damn hard, earning a yelp and a rough jab with an elbow. I sighed out a breath and shook my head slightly, heading off to the workshop. I shifted the heavy box in my hands awkwardly and nearly dropped it, but I managed to lug it into the cooler building. I paused at the door as I noticed Leo and Isaac sitting together, the shorter and much meaner one sitting on the desk as Isaac worked away at a computer. 

“Wait, hold on, so you’re telling me that you actually dealt meth to people in highschool?” Isaac asked, sounding a bit disbelieving. He took a drag from the cigarette resting between his fingers, huffing it out shortly after. I noticed that that always caught Leo’s attention.

“Deadass, I swear,” Leo claimed, “I made so much money off it, and I didn’t really know any of them so I would never watch them burn their lives away.”

“I sure hope  _ you _ didn’t do any drugs,” Isaac mentioned idly.

“Nah, never,” Leo assured, leaning against the back wall and putting his hands behind his head, “like you said, I’m cleverer-er… more clever than that.” The jumble of his words caused Isaac to giggle slightly, and it made a deep anger rise up in my chest for a reason I couldn’t explain. Maybe it was that adoring look Leo always gave him. Leo stretched his arms up and his shirt rode up, revealing a few dark hickeys on his stomach, nearing far closer to his belt than I’d like to imagine. They definitely went further down. “Oh, hey bitchboy,” Leo continued, noticing me standing near the door. I pressed my lips together and took a deep breath, trying to relax. Neither he nor Isaac had ever gotten physical with me, but I knew they wanted to. It was probably because Isaac was so against hurting people. Who the fuck taught him that? I have no clue how he’s still alive, even after so many years of having to fend for himself. 

“Here’s the parts you asked for,” I said quickly, walking over and dropping the box roughly on the floor. Both of them frowned as I did so, and Leo fixed his shirt, hiding the disaster that was his skin at the moment. 

“Right, thanks, get the fuck out,” Isaac spoke in succession, turning his gaze back to his computer. I turned and did as I was told, chewing on the inside of my cheek as I did so. Why -  _ why  _ \- did he pick Leo, of all people, to be not only his best friend, but his lover? He’s fucking dumb as a brick and Isaac is a genius. Leo dropped out of highschool, Isaac went to university. Leo was a fighter, Isaac was a peacekeeper. I sighed loudly to myself as I headed for the hotel. Leo’s so fucking nice to Isaac, I knew that. I’d never seen him say no to anything Isaac wanted, and he could make Isaac smile and laugh. I was jealous, but I don’t know why. I guess it’s because Isaac was my friend before all of this happened, and now he hates me. I tried to explain to him that I was sorry, that I tried to keep him safe and find him again, but he refused to listen. I knew I was in the right, but I wouldn’t argue with him anymore. If he wanted to be upset, I’d let him be. These people cared about him more than I ever did, and I’m only now beginning to realize that he deserved all of it from the very beginning.

I headed upstairs when I got into the cooler hotel, my shirt sticking to my back from the heat. I found Jean in her and Todd’s room, but Todd was probably upstairs working away like usual. I still couldn’t get over the fact that these crazy bastards thought they could not only create a cure, but overthrow the government too. One surveyor wasn’t going to take down an army, but nobody would listen to me when I told them that. 

“Hello Carson,” Jean greeted. She was one of the few people who didn’t call me ‘bitchboy,’ a name which originated from Leo a few months ago. “How’s your day been so far?” She continued, gesturing for me to sit on the edge of her bed next to her. 

“Eh, just as shitty as usual,” I told her, but she didn’t seem surprised. She checked in with me most days, trying to figure out what was going on in my head. 

“And what made it so bad?” She asked, like always. I took a moment to think. 

“Well, it was hot,” I tried, but she shook her head slightly. I knew that wasn’t a valid answer for her. I sighed in defeat and hung my head down, biting into my cheek as I thought about my day; what made me angry. “I - I can’t stand the way he looks at him,” I admitted, looking at my hands, trying to stop myself from focusing on anything else. 

“The way who looks at who?”

“Leo looks at Isaac,” I mumbled, “I don't know why but I just… I've never been so damn  _ jealous _ in my life before.”

“Jealous? Describe what exactly about the way they look at each other makes you jealous,” she prodded, and I thought for a moment. 

“Just… it’s like he falls in love with Isaac every time he looks at him. I guess I just… I’d like that someday,” I reasoned, picking at the dirt under my fingernails. 

“Are you… upset that it’s Isaac and Leo? Is it because you don’t like Leo?”

“I mean… I might not like Leo but he treats Isaac so well, I can’t hold that against him,” I explained, “but… I could probably do a better job than him.” 

“Oh… oh I understand…” she said slowly, tucking a lock of dark hair behind her ear. She pressed her lips together and I knew what she was about to say. “Carson, I - it breaks my heart to tell you this but you can’t - it’ll never -”

“I have no chance in hell,” I pointed out bluntly, “that’s probably for the better.” She pressed her lips together tightly. 

“Are you sure you really have feelings for him or is it just out of the spite you have for Leo?” She asked, trying to make eye contact with me, but I avoided it entirely and looked at the wooden floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

“I… I really don’t know,” I admitted, continuing to analyze the floorboards, though I couldn’t remember a single detail about them afterwards, “I don’t hate Isaac, is the thing. Hell, I might even miss him. Miss being his closest friend, y’know? I mean we weren’t really all that close but between me, Adam, and Karmin, he liked me the most.”

“Well, from what I’ve heard from him personally, you three didn’t treat him very well at all,” Jean pointed out, shifting slightly. The bed rocked a bit under us, creaking against the floor. 

“He never mentioned anything about that to us,” I mentioned, looking up at her, “was always really quiet, just did as he was told.”

“He’s realized he’s worth a little bit more now,” she explained, “he still doesn’t believe it in its entirety, but he knows he’s not useless. He knows we actually like him for who he is, not his talents.”

“Oh.” I didn’t really know how to respond. Somehow, we managed to make a little meeting about how  _ I _ felt all about the golden child, and that made me grit my teeth a bit. I huffed out a long sigh and looked down again before standing up. “I’m going to go… rest, I guess. Long day.”

“Right, of course,” she accepted as I left. I didn’t say anything else to her as I disappeared into the hallway, heading downstairs to my own room. My room was the same as everyone else's, with one window, a small bed, and a dresser, but mine somehow felt… lonelier. That was probably just me. I closed my door behind me and dropped onto my bed, burying my face in a pillow. I squeezed my fists into the pillow and growled, the fabric muffling the sound. I didn’t always feel like trash, but now was one of those times that I did. It was just a combination of dealing with the people who hated me most in camp all day and then Jean asking overbearing questions that made me upset. 

Maybe later I’d end up talking to Anthony and Sai and Roma, who all didn’t seem to hate me that much. Michael too, even. And there was Robbie, but he was a bit on and off when it came to me. Sometimes he’d love talking to me, other times he would just glare at me and walk away. I wonder which moron let him stay around? I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s pretty strong and is nice most of the time by the looks of it, but it’s a lot of trouble to deal with someone who’s lost his mind. 

I pushed myself out of bed and emptied out my pockets on my bedside table, which consisted of a rusted revolver, a pen, a lockpick, a little switchblade, and a few rubber bands. I picked up the switchblade that I’d owned since before the affliction broke out and inspected it for a moment, extending the blade with a press of a button. It was a little bit rusty from one of the many instances in which I’d stabbed someone and forgotten to wipe all the blood off, but otherwise it was still in good condition. 

I looked over at my door and craned my arm back before throwing the knife at the wooden panels like it was a dart. For the smallest second I wished someone had chosen to walk into my room at that exact moment. I’d be lying if the thought of Isaac losing both eyes hadn’t occurred to me before, no matter how terrified I was that I could think those things about him. It’s just… it’d be karma, I suppose, for the last few months of trouble he’s caused me. I really could’ve been halfway across the country by now had I jumped over the wall with Karmin but no, I chose to come back for someone I figured was dead. 

I walked over and pulled my knife out of the door, holding it tightly in my hand. I looked across the room into my mirror, looking at the monster in the mirror. I just suddenly felt like causing some real carnage. I headed downstairs and out into the street, finding a large gathering of people. Isaac and Leo were there, along with Lilith, Destiny, Sai, and Roma. 

“Yeah, apparently there’s some trouble going down about a mile that way,” Lilith explained, pointing towards the side of the base that she typically guarded, “I can hear gunfire and stuff. Surveyors, too.”

“Oh, I’ll go check it out,” Isaac volunteered, and I noticed Leo’s expression fall slightly, “watch how the surveyors behave, y’know?”

“Cool, I’ll go with you,” Lilith agreed, untying her white jacket from around her waist and pulling it on. 

“I’ll go too,” Leo began, but Isaac cut him off. 

“You can’t, you’ve got to stay here, make sure nothing happens. Especially if there’s people so close.”

“Right, I knew you’d say that,” he mumbled, looking down like a child who’d dropped their ice cream cone onto the pavement, “take someone else with you, at least.”

“Oh, bitchboy, you come with us,” Lilith spoke up, looking over at me. I pressed my lips together and walked over slowly, tucking my knife into my pocket. There was a brief pause from the group. 

“Lilith, bring a gun. Just in case,” Leo ordered, tucking his hands into his pockets and looking up at Isaac, concern painting his face. I wanted to pluck his eyes out so he’d stop looking at him like that. Carve his heart out, too, maybe. 

“Yessir.”

“Fine,” Isaac sighed out, “you two go get your stuff together, we won’t be out for long. Meet me at the gates.” The group scattered a bit, and I headed up to my room again to grab my revolver from my bedside table. I glanced out my window and saw Leo and Isaac talking on the side of the road, Leo obviously a bit distressed. Probably trying to beg Isaac to stay and for him to go in his place. I’d like that to happen, really. Give me a chance to deal some damage. Rage boiled in my veins as Leo stood on his toes to give Isaac a farewell kiss, and it wasn’t a feeling I was quite used to yet. Leo stood and watched as Isaac headed down the street, looking so terribly forlorn, like he’d drop dead of worry and loneliness before I could get to him. 

For a split second, I realized the one thing that would bring him more pain than death. So,  _ so _ much more pain. It would be beautiful. 

I turned and walked back outside onto the street, heading the same way Isaac did. Leo was gone at this point, probably gone off to be sorry for himself or something. I gazed up at the clear sky, the sun a bit less hot than it was earlier. The shadows had gotten longer, giving me some shade to walk in as I followed the road for a few minutes. I found Lilith and Isaac at the gate, Lilith carrying what I believe used to be Leo’s gun. He never used it anymore. Loser couldn’t say no to Isaac. Didn’t seem to think for himself anymore. 

“Right, good, lets go,” Isaac mentioned as I approached, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket. He slotted them into the rusty keyhole of the large metal gate, twisting them around roughly. When the lock finally clicked, he pulled the gate open and urged the two of us through and out of the safety of our camp. In the distance I could hear rapid gunfire.

“It’s been like that for the past hour, barely any breaks in the firing,” Lilith mentioned, taking the lead. We stayed close to the buildings on the edge of the street in case someone unwanted decided to come this way. It didn’t take long for us to find the source of the noise - a small suburban subdivision with a surveyor in the centre and gunfire coming from both sides of the street, from inside two different houses. They were firing at each other, which made me think it was probably some soldiers and a group of rebels, perhaps. I followed Lilith and Isaac into a nearby alleyway, and they pushed me back so they could see what was happening better. 

“That’s odd,” Isaac mentioned, “the surveyor is just standing there. It’s not even firing its laser at either house.”

“Maybe it’s two groups of soldiers fighting?” Lilith offered, but Isaac shrugged. 

“That seems unlikely. Neither of us have ever seen that happen before.” We watched for a few minutes, the surveyor tearing up the once grassy lawns of the houses and it wandered aimlessly. The gunfire didn’t cease, and I started to wonder where they got so much ammunition. I started to get a little bit anxious when the surveyor started walking down the street towards us, it’s long, metal limbs sparking against the concrete. One of its legs didn’t seem to be working, and it walked funny. Probably got caught in the crossfire. 

“See, look at that. Hydraulic is broken. It’s stabilizer is probably taking up most of its power, that's why it’s not scanning the area as well,” Isaac explained, looking curiously at the robot. 

“Oh, so it won’t see us?” Lilith asked, but Isaac shook his head quickly.

“Don’t test your luck.” 

“Yeah, probably not a very good idea,” the former guard decided, leaning against the stone wall next to us. The surveyor continued down the road, continuing to get closer to us, which concerned me even more. I could hear its laser beeping idly from this distance. 

“Fuck, I should’ve brought a fragmenter. This is bad,” Isaac mumbled, backing into the alleyway further. I glanced behind us to notice a large pile of rubble behind us, blocking our way out. “Uh, everyone crouch down, don’t move a muscle.” I dropped down to kneel on the pavement in the shadows. Isaac started chewing on his nails across from me, a habit he’s had since I first met him. I figured Leo would’ve gotten him to stop by now, since he’s so great and wonderful. I bit my tongue and tried to stop myself from lashing out in my new state of rage. Lilith sighed angrily next to us. 

“It’s going to be too high up to shoot the tank on top,” she mentioned, slinging her gun over her shoulder so she could run if the need arised. 

My heart jumped into my throat as the surveyor came into view, dragging its broken limb behind it. Sparks followed behind the metal limb, and it almost might’ve been pretty had it not been coming from a death machine. The beeping of its heat seeking laser suddenly started beeping faster, and Isaac jumped up. 

“Fuck, run,” he said quickly, with a strange lack of emotion in his voice. He slipped out of the alleyway and ran right past the surveyor like a fucking madman. I swallowed down the fear I thought I had lost the ability to feel and ran after him, following his every step as he ducked into another alleyway down the road. The surveyor creaked behind us, but not towards us. Isaac glanced back and gasped a bit. “Lilith, no,” he mumbled, but when I looked out, I saw Lilith run into another alleyway across the street. The surveyor stopped for a moment before turning in a slow circle. Isaac turned and pushed me into the nearby wall roughly. “Fucking go!” He encouraged, pushing past me and taking off down the dark alleyway. I growled back at him, holding my hand against the elbow I had hit against the wall. Fresh blood poured down my skin.  _ Oh no. No, no, no, that’s not good.  _

I chased after Isaac for a while before he stopped to take a breath between two buildings. I found myself unable to breathe. I felt like I didn’t even need to, like I was on the brink of death anyways. 

“Fuck, that was close. I should’ve listened to Leo, I’m so stupid,” he cursed to himself, pulling a hand through his hair. He reached into his pocket with his other hand and pulled out a small, silver plated pocket watch, checking the time quickly. Wait, no. He didn’t check the time. He checked to see a small slip of paper folded up inside. He pulled it out and unfolded it, and I caught a glimpse of the barely legible message written with a pen that was nearly out of ink.  _ I love you, don’t forget that.  _ He smiled to himself and huffed out a long breath that made my anger return in full force. 

I reached into my own pocket and gripped my switchblade tightly. I flipped the blade out and I can’t even remember what happened next. Just blackness. Black like the blood of the afflicted. 

_ Leo Smith, spring 2158. _

I paced along the middle of the road slowly, following along the faded lines, like stepping off of them would mean Isaac got hurt out there. It had only been maybe 45 minutes, but I was only getting more and more worried. I took a deep breath and stepped off the faded white line and onto the black pavement. In the distance, I heard another gunshot, and I swallowed down my fears. The three of them weren’t stupid, they’d stay out of the way and run if anything happened, I knew that. I was just worried, that’s all. How could I not be? Isaac was out there far too close to gunfire than I’d like and I was stuck back here.

I walked over and sat down on the curb roughly, holding my head in my hands. I was just miserable. I always got like this when I was away from Isaac and I hated it. And he wonders why I never want him to go anywhere without me.

“Hey,” a voice said, and I didn’t look up as he sat down beside me. 

“Mmph,” I mumbled, glancing up at Michael. 

“It’ll be alright,” he assured far too calmly, patting my back. I sat up properly and sighed. 

“I know, I know,” I told him, “I just wish he wasn’t so damn curious about everything. Be a lot safer if he just stayed here and let me go instead.”

“I guess you’ll just have to get used to him never listening,” he mentioned, looking up at the sky. 

“Oh, he listens most of the time. He just gets excited about stuff and you can’t hold him back at that point. And don’t get me wrong, I love when he’s excited, I just… I wish it wasn’t about such dangerous things sometimes.” Over the past few months, Michael had changed an awful lot. Maybe someone said something to him, or maybe he’d just had a change of heart, but he’d just totally dropped his grudge against Ize and I one day. He came over to both of us, called us aside, and said he wanted  _ me  _ of all people to give the group direction. I tried to tell him that I wasn’t interested, but he refused to listen. He just stepped down and someone had to take his place, so I did. He’d also apologized to Isaac for all the tension between them, and Isaac, being the (mostly,) forgiving person he is, accepted his apologies. They still weren’t on great terms, but they didn’t hate each other and I was very glad of that. 

Michael currently had just about the same role around camp as Carson. And by that I mean neither of them really had a special talent that we really needed - cooking, engineering, electrical, etc - so we just told them to help out with scavenging or doing little jobs around. They made themselves useful for the most part, and I could respect that. I had learned to forgive Michael, but definitely not Carson. 

Carson was a different story. He really,  _ really  _ didn’t like me. He didn’t seem to like Isaac much either, but he acted way differently towards me. Just so much spite and rage for some reason, and it had been like that since he first realized that me and Ize were stuck together like glue. He scared me, to be honest. He’d definitely lost something in his head over the past few years, some sort of self control, maybe. I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist, but something was definitely wrong with him. 

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it with the lighter I had stolen from an Anarchist a week or so ago. I took a long drag that burned at my lungs but it made me relax nonetheless. I glanced down the street when I heard footsteps, and my pulse raised when I noticed Lilith walking down the road. My whole body went cold when I realized it was  _ just _ Lilith. I pushed myself to stand and held my cigarette between my lips. 

“Where’s Isaac?” I asked as she walked over. She seemed out of breath and her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat. 

“He’s fine,” she assured, taking a breath, “there was just a surveyor, we got split up. Him and Carson are still together as far as I’m aware.”

“A surveyor?!” I blurted out, taking my old gun back from her. I was planning on heading straight out there and finding him, but I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be easy. 

“Relax, it was broken. Leg all fucked up, it could barely walk. Hell, it didn’t even get a chance to fire at any of us. They’re fine,” she repeated, pulling her jacket off and wrapping it around her waist. 

“Oh. Are they coming back, then?”

“I’d assume so. There wasn’t much to see out there,” she said, shrugging. 

“What’s going on out there, with the gunshots?” Michael asked behind me. I took one last long drag of my cigarette before dropping it on the pavement and stepping on the end of it. 

“Oh, there’s a little subdivision down there,” she began, “there’s gunfire coming out of two houses, right across from each other. Don’t know who they are, but there was a broken surveyor in the middle of it all, just meandering around. It wasn’t trying to attack either side so who knows.” 

“Two government squadrons going at it?” I asked, a bit confused. 

“Hopefully,” she mentioned, beginning to walk down the road, towards the hotel, “I’m gonna take a breather, change into something comfier. Gotta find some batteries too, my hand died while I was out there.” I watched her walk down the road, adjusting her robotic hand, for a moment before shifting the rifle hanging over my shoulder and heading the opposite way down the road. 

“Woah, woah, woah, no,” Michael warned, grabbing my arm, “they’ll be back soon, you don’t need to go find them.”

“But -”

“Don’t,” he cut me off, letting go of me and taking a step back. I pressed my lips together and looked down the road longingly. If I ran, he couldn’t catch me. I might’ve been shorter than him but I knew I could do it. Something stopped me from leaving, though, and I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was the part of me that knew Isaac could handle himself out there, that he had for years before I was even a thought in his head. I sighed and put my hands into my pockets, heading over to the bar silently. Michael didn’t argue, or say anything for that matter. He just let me go. 

When I got into the bar, it was empty. I figured Anthony was in the back room, like always, so I called out to alert him of my presence. 

“Hey Anthony!” 

“In here,” he responded from the back of the building like I expected. I wandered back behind the bar and peeked into the next room, seeing him wiping down the counter with a white rag. 

“Need any help with anything? I need something to distract me,” I mentioned, leaning against the wall. My gun felt a tad awkward hanging from my shoulder, as I hadn’t carried it with me in a long while.

“Umm… you could sweep up for me I’d you’d like,” he suggested, “are they still not back yet?”

“Lilith is,” I told him as I grabbed the broom by the back door, “said they got split up, Ize and Carson are out there still.” I shivered as I said that. I didn’t like to think that it was Isaac and  _ Carson _ , of all people. Something in my bones just ached with ‘something bad is going to happen and you won’t be there to stop it’. Of course, I knew he’d be fine. He had to be. This wasn’t even by far the most dangerous thing he’s done, anyways. I started awkwardly sweeping the tile floor, making sure to get around each corner of the counters and oven and cupboards. 

“Oh no, that’s not good,” Anthony noted, scrubbing at the counter some more. 

“Michael and Lilith both said they’d be back soon,” I said quietly, trying to believe it myself, “but if the sun starts setting and they aren’t here, I’m going out to find Isaac.” 

“Just Isaac?”

“Oh yeah, fuck Carson. I’d gladly leave him out there,” I chuckled, trying to lift my spirits. 

“I figured that’s what you meant,” he laughed with me, moving over to the sink and washing his hands off, “do you need a drink, by chance?” He continued, quieter than before. I paused my sweeping, looking down and pressing my lips together. 

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” He dipped out of the back room and returned shortly with a bottle of whiskey that I’d already drank half of the last time Isaac left camp without me. He handed it to me and I popped the top off, knocking back a mouthful of it. The sweet burn of it made me forget for a while, and I went back to sweeping the floor up some more, wishing the alcohol would have a bit more of an affect on me. Anthony and I chatted about random, inconsequential things and I felt like time was passing slower and slower by the minute. 

I pushed the back door open and swept the pile of dust I had collected out into the alley before I heard some bickering down the road. As I listened closer, I realized it wasn’t the voices of anyone I recognized. 

“Uh, hold on, do you hear that?” I asked Anthony, and he peeked out into the dark alley. I handed him the broom and walked out into the street, following the sounds down the road. Michael had clearly heard it too, and met me in the middle of the road. I held my gun up and made sure it was loaded as we walked down the street, looking for whoever it was. When we reached the gate that faced towards the Syndicate’s camp, that’s where we found a small group gathered just outside. The metal door at the side swung open slowly and in stumbled none other than Isaac himself, followed by a group of… Anarchists?

“Oh, Isaac!” I sighed out in relief, lowering my gun as I jogged over to him. I paused when I realized he was holding his stomach tightly. His hair was stuck slick to his forehead, like he’d dragged himself face first through a puddle.

“ _ Don’t _ ,” he growled, looking up at me with a terrified yet angry expression. His anger definitely wasn’t directed at me though, I could tell. 

“Fuck, what happened?” I asked, trying to take his hands away from his stomach, but he stumbled back from me, trying to keep his distance. 

“Listen to me,” he ordered through gritted teeth, “don’t touch me. Talk to these guys and go find that motherfucker Carson, I’ll be fine. Michael, come with me,” he continued, limping down the street. The immediate fear and worry made me sober up quite a bit, and I turned to look at the three Anarchists standing a few meters into our territory. 

“Well?” I asked them quickly, turning in a small circle to try and calm myself down. I just wanted to hug Isaac and make sure he was okay but he wouldn’t even let me near him. At least he was home safe. Todd would take care of him. 

“We found him in an alleyway near our base, we recognized him and he asked us to lead him back here. Wouldn’t let us touch him, but he kept mumbling about some ‘backstabbing bitch’ who literally stabbed him.”

“What?!” I blurted out. I didn’t think the injury was that bad, I figured maybe he’d tripped and fallen or thrown his back out or something, not been stabbed! “ _ Carson. _ ” It had to have been him. Who else would’ve stabbed someone as perfect, as kind, as amazing as Isaac? Don’t answer that. 

“Yeah, he did say something about some Carson guy. Need help hunting him down?” The same Anarchist said. I assumed he was the one in charge of this little group. I couldn’t see his face past his gas mask, but he was a margin taller than the other two. 

“Fuck fuck fuck,” I mumbled to myself, turning in another circle, “no no, I can’t leave, I need to stay here and make sure he’s alright.” I’m not entirely sure where my anger was at the moment. Too shocked, I guess. Maybe a bit too tipsy for my own good, too. 

“Hey man, he seemed okay. I mean, he walked the whole way back. He wants you to take care of that guy for him,” one of the other Anarchists said. She seemed a bit younger than me, but not by a lot. Isaac had definitely told her to say that before they got here. 

“Fine, bring me to where you found him,” I ordered simply, ushering them out past the gate. I locked the gate with the set of keys I had and jogged after them as we travelled quickly through the twisting maze of streets. Back before the apocalypse happened, it was easy to get around town. It was basically a huge square made up of smaller squares. But now, half those streets were either cesspits of Afflicted, blocked off by crashed cars or broken buildings, or an abandoned government checkpoint had been put in place and forgotten about. 

“It wasn’t too far from here, maybe a 5 minute walk or so,” one of the Anarchists mentioned. One of my shoelaces ended up coming undone, but I couldn’t be bothered to fix it. I had to get out there, find Carson, and get back as fast as possible. No time for tying shoelaces. 

“Right, so a two minute run then?” I proposed, and one looked over their shoulder at me. 

“If you try hard enough,” he said, “it’s up between James Street and Crescent Ave, next to the old gas station. Y’know where I’m talking about?”

“Roughly speaking, yes,” I mentioned, imagining a map of the area in my head. I didn’t drive back when life was normal, but I had gone to that gas station a few times to pick up odds and ends (and by pick up, I mean ‘borrow’). “You guys head back, tell Jack I put in a good word for you.” With that, I jogged past them and vaulted over a rusted old car, continuing down the road until I reached Crescent Ave. It would be rough trying to find Carson in the maze of alleys and buildings, but I wouldn’t go home until I did. I followed along the street to the gas station, and my hair raised on end at the thought of how open this road was. The buildings next to it weren’t very tall, and about a mile away I could see the highway stretching over the main roads below. If you walked down the highway far enough, you’d reach town square - the government’s base of operations. We steered very clear of all of that, always have. Well, Isaac clearly hadn’t in his past, but he never seemed very interested in going back. 

When I reached the gas station, I realized that since the last time I’d been here (we’re talking a few years at this point,) the place had caught on fire, probably caused by the old charging ports sparking or something. I carefully meandered through the rubble and peeked into the alleyway next to it. There was a very obvious, dry patch of blood against the wall and ground, and my heart sank. That’s the last place I’d want to be stabbed, and knowing Carson, Isaac had his back turned and couldn’t even put up a fight. Not that he would, of course; he’d probably try to make some kind of deal or something. His life for some reward. 

I wandered back out to the gas station and looked around.  _ If I had just stabbed an old friend, where would I hide?  _ My eyes landed on a furniture store down the road, and I decided to check it out. It was probably empty inside, considering just after the virus broke out, everyone started rioting and stealing just about anything you could find. After the government left this area, scavengers probably took what was left, but maybe I’d find something of value. I pulled my gun up and held it low, just in case. I wouldn’t fire unless I was shot at, but it could be useful to threaten a certain someone. 

I still hadn’t decided what I’d do with Carson when I found him. I wanted to shoot him where he stood, trust me, but I couldn’t. Isaac wouldn’t like it. I mean, hell, he was upset when he heard that guy Adam got killed, and he’d tried to kill Isaac himself. 

I stepped through the broken glass door into the furniture store and sure enough, it was basically empty. Looked like someone had set up camp here for a while, but they were long gone now. I walked through the building carefully, but I wasn’t trying to be sneaky. I loved the rush of nearly getting caught, but I didn’t really care for that right now. Carson wasn’t sneaky, I’d find him eventually. I reached up and turned on the flashlight that was taped lazily to the top of my rifle, shining it into the corners of the building that the sun didn’t reach. The old wooden floors creaked under my steps. 

Once I’d scanned the building, I deemed it empty and headed back towards the entrance. On my way out, I stopped at the checkout area and peeked behind the counters just in case I found something, but all the registers were empty like I expected. I noticed a little purse dropped on the ground, soaked in dirt and grime. I picked it up and dumped out it’s contents on the counter next to one of the abandoned registers, finding a few old credit cards, a barely legible drivers licence, a handful of hair ties, and, most interesting of all, a ring. A beautiful one at that, silver with what must’ve been diamonds or some kind of imitation crystal embedded within the metal. The younger me would’ve thought  _ oh, I can pawn this off for a good amount,  _ but just standing here right now, I realized why I was here. Who I was here for.

I blew the dust off the ring and looked at it in the pale sunlight spilling through a nearby window, the crystals glittering. I tried to slide the ring onto my ring finger, but it was far too small.  _ That’s too bad.  _ I placed the ring on the counter for a moment and reached up to the back of my neck, undoing the small, silver chain that hung around it. I slipped the chain through the ring and pushed my overcoat open, fastening the chain around a small loop of fabric inside. I dropped the ring into the pocket I usually kept my watch in and made sure it was secure before heading out of the building again.

I spent a good fifteen minutes searching other nearby buildings for any signs of life, but this place had been cleared out ages ago. At this point, I was starting to get a bit worried. Carson might’ve tried to make a run for it, but he knew that I knew the area and that he didn’t, so it seemed unlikely. I looked up into the evening sky as I walked down the middle of the road, trying to gauge how much time I had until sunset. 

“Looking for me?” A voice cut in behind me, and I spun on a dime to point my rifle at him. 

“I am, actually,” I chuckled darkly, pacing in a circle around the blond bastard standing in the road. 

“Put me out of my misery,” he pleaded, looking like a broken child. 

“Why’d you do it?”

“I… I don’t know. I just felt so  _ angry  _ all of a sudden,” he explained quietly, holding his elbow awkwardly, “did he get back okay?”

“‘Okay’ would be doing him a disservice, but he got back,” I told him, pausing to glare at him. 

“I’m glad,” he said, “just let him know what he did to me before you turn me to dust.” He moved his hand away to show a cut up elbow. “Pushed me into the wall of an alleyway, there’s no chance in hell that I’m not sick.”

“What  _ he  _ did to  _ you?  _ You stabbed him!”

“ _ After  _ he did this,” he defended weakly, “look, just kill me. I can’t turn into one of those things.”

“I’m not going to kill you,” I told him blandly, lowering my gun, “drop all your weapons and go lock yourself in a building if you know what’s good for you.”

“No, Leo, I don’t want to become one of those,” he repeated, emptying out his pockets nonetheless. I noticed him drop a bloody pocket knife on the pavement along with a pistol. “And I’ll starve if I lock myself up anyways.”

“What you do now isn’t my problem,” I mumbled, gesturing for him to get back with my gun. I kicked the knife and pistol across the road and they landed by the curb. “Just get out of here.”

“You know I’ll just kill myself.”

“Sobeit. Your blood isn’t on my hands. I’m sorry you have to go through this,” I apologized. I really did feel bad for him, I’d seen quite a few people turn into one of those mindless zombies, and nobody deserved to go through that. 

“Isaac’s going to have it too,” he pointed out in a monotone voice. I shot my gaze to his and pressed my lips together tightly. 

“No he won’t. He’s okay.”

“I’m sorry for the hell you're about to go through. It’ll be worse than what’s left of life for me,” he said quietly, turning to walk down the road. I watched him disappear into a nearby building and felt pressure well in my eyes for a moment. I pushed every thought in my head away and walked over to the curb where the discarded weapons were, nudging them down the nearby storm drain with my toe. I hated to think that that was Isaac’s blood being dragged across the pavement and soaking into the water in the sewers below. 

I left the whole scene and headed back home at a full out run. I just had to get home. The money I’d pay for someone to invent a teleporter right this moment was unimaginable. I fumbled with the keys to the gate outside the base for far longer than I wanted to, but as soon as I got back in, I shot down to the hotel. 

“Hey man! Did you take care of Carson?” Lilith called and I spun to look at her for a moment. 

“Mhm,” I hummed out, “is Isaac -”

“Up with Todd, he hasn’t left Isaac alone for a second,” she assured me, and I nodded slightly, turning to head inside. I went straight upstairs but got stopped at the door to the makeshift medical bay by Jean. 

“Hey, relax, take a breath,” she told me, pulling the gun off my shoulder. She looked very out of place holding an assault rifle, and she sat it down on the dresser at the end of the hall. I raked my hands through my hair and took a deep breath. 

“Is he okay?” I asked quickly, trying to figure out where to put my hands. I settled for awkwardly holding them behind my back. 

“For now, yes. Todd will take care of him, you know that,” she told me calmly, running a hand along my arm. 

“Well, let me see him then,” I ordered a bit timidly. Jean sighed a long sigh and peeked into the medical bay. 

“Hello dear,” she mentioned, nodding towards someone, “Leo’s here, he really-”

“Oh, please let me see him,” I heard Isaac plead, and I couldn’t stop the little smile that broke onto my face. 

“Yes, fine, send him in,” Todd agreed, and I pushed past Jean to find Isaac sitting shirtless in the makeshift hospital bed up against the window. He smiled up at me. 

“Leo!” He cheered. He looked tired and a bit sickly, but he was happy. I jogged over to him and looked him over, noticing the huge amount of gauze and dressing wrapped around his whole abdomen. 

“Oh good lord I didn’t think it was that bad,” I mentioned, “the knife he had wasn’t that big.”

“The incision was only a few centimetres long,” Todd said from across the room, and I wondered why he was completely suited up in latex gloves and a disposable full body suit, “all the gauze is just a precaution.”

“A precaution? You didn’t do any of this when he first came here and his whole face was cut up,” I pointed out, leaning down to press a kiss to Isaac’s dry and very bitten up lips. He must’ve been nervous, considering they were so chewed up. 

“Well, uh, you see…” Isaac trailed off, shifting slightly in the bed. I sat down next to him and held a hand to the side of his face. “Todd? Could you give us a minute?” 

“Of course.” Todd showed himself out and left me and Isaac alone in the dimly lit room. He took a deep breath and held my free hand between both of his. He pulled my gauntlet off so our skin could touch, and I noticed how warm he was compared to me. 

“Listen,” he began, looking at me like it was the last time he would, “I… haha, fuck,” he paused, bringing a hand up to wipe away the tears that were gathering in his good eye. I could feel hot tears already spilling down my cheeks. I knew what he was going to say. 

“I’ll stay with you,” I promised, squeezing his hand, “you’ll be okay, I’ll make sure of it.” I couldn’t stop the broken sob that escaped my lungs and I pulled him into a tight but gentle hug, making sure to keep the padding around his stomach away from me so I didn’t hurt him more. He sniffled into my shoulder and we both sat there for a long moment, crying into each other's embraces. the world was cold for a moment. No fighting, no gunfire, no nothing. Just us, frozen in time. “How long?”

“A week until it gets worse, two weeks after that and I’ll need to be… put away somewhere,” he explained, pulling back slightly, “oh please Leo, don’t let them kill me.”

“Never,” I assured him, running my thumb along his tear tracks, “Todd will have a cure ready in no time. You’ll be right back to normal.”

“I hope you’re right,” he spoke quietly, “what of Carson?”

“I kicked his weapons into the sewer and sent him off.”

“He was sick, too,” he mentioned, looking down with such emotion behind his eye, “thank you for not hurting him.”

“I didn’t want to, for some reason,” I told him, lifting his chin up with a few fingers, “I was so angry at him, but I didn’t want him to be in pain.”

“I’m so proud of you, really,” he said softly, another tear dripping down his cheek. I leaned forward and kissed it away. 

“You taught me well,” I chuckled, “a few seasons ago, I would’ve shot him with no remorse.”

“I know you would’ve. I always wanted to fix that, wanted you to know you did the right thing.” We fell into a comfortable silence after that, acknowledging everything that’s led up to this point. 

“Oh! I found something while I was out there, figured nobody should have it more than you,” I mentioned, reaching into my coat and unclasping the chain inside. I stood up and he watched as I moved to stand next to him. “I know we’ve talked about this before, about how when this is all said and done, maybe we’d move out into the middle of nowhere, live in a small little town surrounded by a beautiful forest, maybe have a dog… or even a few kids, y’know?” He nodded in an understanding manner and smiled slightly. “Well, I mean, you know exactly where this is going,” I laughed, lowering myself down onto one knee. If I told myself even a year ago that I’d be doing this, I would have called myself fucking crazy and checked myself into a mental institution, but being here, right now, it just called to me. This was right. This was all right. Nobody in the world would tell us this wasn’t exactly how it was supposed to be. 

“Holy shit,” Isaac breathed out, shifting to face me better. The smile his lips curved into was wider than any I think I’ve ever seen. 

“It’s going to be too small for you,” I mentioned, showing him the ring. I looped the chain back through it and raised it up to his neck. “What do you say?”

“What do I say? Fucking - yes! You think I’d ever say no?” He laughed. That smile belonged in a museum for everyone to see, really. I wanted to yell out in joy, to tell all the bastards who ever doubted me that I was so close to winning the game of life and they would never feel what it feels like in this exact moment. I climbed up to stand and pulled him into a deep kiss that sealed the deal - the contract made of all the gazes and chuckles and smiles and tears and pride we’d shared in all the time we’ve known each other. The signature: our simplest words. The ink: our tears. Part of me wanted so badly to bite into his lip a little bit too hard, enough to draw blood. If he was going to be sick, I wanted to go through exactly what he was, but I knew I had to be there to take care of him, to stop anything worse from happening. 

We leaned back from each other and I clasped the chain around his neck, brushing my fingers along his skin. It looked beautiful on him - not only the ring, but the chain. That chain had meaning to me, and he knew that. He didn’t know why, but he knew I loved it. The ring was just a symbol that once belonged to someone else, but that chain? My sister had given it to me as a Christmas present one year. It was the last Christmas I spent with her before I ran off. I’d never taken the necklace off since then, but I knew I wanted Isaac to have it. I trusted him to keep it safe more than I trusted myself to, just like with my watch. 

“Are you cold?” I asked, running my hand along his bare arm. His skin was hot to the touch, but I knew that’s not how fever symptoms felt. 

“A little bit,” he said, smiling up at me still. He held his hand over the ring resting against his chest. 

“I’ll go grab you a sweater and send Todd back in,” I told him, heading for the door. I glanced back at him to look him over one last time for the next few minutes, and he just looked so happy despite the condition he was in. I reluctantly turned and headed out into the hall, where Todd still waited. 

“Everything go okay?” He asked, and I nodded vigorously.

“Very.”

“Oh?” He continued, looking awfully confused, “I’ll be honest, I thought you’d take it pretty roughly.”

“These are going to be the best three weeks or so of his life, mark my words,” I assured, turning to head down the hallway slowly, “I’m gonna grab him a hoodie, he’s cold.”

“Right, of course, but you know the rules, right?” He interrupted quickly. 

“Yeah, yeah, no blood, I’m not stupid.” That wasn’t something I’d have said a few seasons ago. Isaac has clearly worked wonders on my brain since I met him. 

“I’m going to check his gums twice a day,” he mentioned as I headed down the stairs, “ _ Leo _ .” I paused and turned slowly to look back up at him. “You need to take this seriously.”

“I am, trust me. I’m just a little tipsy and overwhelmed at the moment,” I explained, “now, I told him I’d grab him something to warm him up and I’ll be damned if I leave him waiting.”

“Right, of course.” He headed back into the medical bay as I jogged down the stairs, dipping into our room for a moment. I dared that melancholy feeling to come bite at the backs of my legs, but it stayed away for a little bit longer. I grabbed a dark green hoodie out of our dresser and headed right back upstairs. I knocked slightly before opening the door, finding the room the same as it was before I left, aside from Todd sitting at his desk across the room. He was probably doing tests or something. I liked to think that Isaac being sick would help so much with the cure, that maybe it would be done before he even reached stage 3. 

“Here you are,” I said, helping him pull the sweater on. He moved stiffly, repositioning himself in the bed. 

“Thank you,” he responded quietly, smiling a completely lovestruck smile at me. This whole time, I didn’t know this was what it felt like to be looked at like that. I’m honestly really glad he’s gotten to feel that way since I met him. “Can you do me a favour?”

“Of course.” He always asked if I  _ could  _ do something for him like he didn’t know I would without question. I love him so much for always giving me a choice, but even after telling him a thousand times that he doesn’t need to ask me to do something that’s simple, he won’t stop. I reached up and pushed his unruly hair out of his face, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

“Go grab my computer,” he requested, and I frowned slightly, pulling back. 

“No.” It hurt me to say that; I didn’t want to disappoint him, but he needed to rest. 

“Please? I’ve gotta finish up with that surveyor, I’ve only got three weeks to do it,” he mentioned, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, making me crouch down awkwardly next to him. 

“Ize, no, just please rest, it’s all I ask,” I pleaded, sitting next to him on the bed. 

“Leo’s right,” Todd mentioned from across the room, “I don’t want you working, you’ll feel worse.”

“But - I’m so close,” he claimed, and I couldn’t stop the snort that escaped my lungs he punched my arm lightly, “oh haha, very funny,” he continued jokingly, and I’m glad I could bring a smile to his face. 

“But seriously, just take one day,  _ one  _ day, to get your energy back,” I requested hopelessly, taking his hands in mine. 

“I’ve never had more energy than I do now. Adrenaline, I suppose. Please Leo?” He begged, and I couldn’t stop myself from making the joke.

“Who knew all I had to do to get you to say that was not let you do your job,” I laughed slightly. He chuckled a little bit too, reaching up to pull my goggles off my head. I’d forgotten they were even there, the familiar feel of the buckle digging into the skin above my ear or the strap keeping them around my head being fastened a little too tight being disregarded in my states of panic and joy throughout the day. 

“Leo,” he sighed, shaking his head slightly, “what am I ever going to do with you?”

“Lie yourself down,” I urged quietly, pushing him over gently. He huffed out a breath and did as I asked reluctantly, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I’m going to keep asking, y’know?” He mentioned, “I know you’ll give in eventually.” I hated that he was right, but maybe I could get him to sleep sooner rather than later. I moved to sit on the floor next to him and slid my legs under the bed so I could rest my head on the thin mattress. He looked over at me with a relatively blank expression, though I could detect the smallest hint of a smile touching his lips. I reached over and rested a hand on the side of his face, trying to make him relax a bit. I knew he usually fell asleep pretty quickly whenever we’d curl up together in bed, so I hoped this worked a little bit. I wished this bed here was a bit wider, but I also didn’t want to hurt him by accident. He was probably still in pain from the stab wound, so I didn’t want to risk it. 

“It’s not going to work,” he assured quietly, running one of his own hands through my hair. 

“Hmm?” I responded, watching his eyelid fall slightly. I gently pulled his eyepiece off and he rubbed his free hand against the faint red line pressed into his cheek. 

“Hm,” he mimicked, resting his head in my hand, “you’re a dick.”

“You love me,” I pointed out. I still couldn’t quite believe that, but goddamn I was lucky. 

“I do.” I sighed loudly and pushed myself to stand up, my legs tingling with numbness. 

“I’ll be back,” I told him in defeat, turning to walk out the door. 

“Leo, no,” Todd warned, spinning in his office chair. 

“Oh please, you know I can’t say no to him,” I chuckled, dipping out of the room and heading downstairs. When I got out the door, Robbie ran up to me, looking a bit frantic. 

“Is Isaac okay? We’ve all been so worried!” He admitted, twisting his hands together nervously.

“He’s okay,” I assured. For a second I thought it was true, considering how happy and smiley he’d been, “uh, Michael?” I called, and he wandered over from the small group he was with. I gestured for Robbie to leave, and he reluctantly did, still looking a bit paranoid. 

“Everything alright?” Michael asked as he reached me. 

“Do you know?”

“That Isaac’s sick?” I nodded in response.

“Did you tell any of them?” I continued, nodding towards the group. 

“Not yet, no. I didn’t know if Isaac wanted them to know,” he reasoned simply, pressing his lips together. 

“Well I’m sure they’d rather find out now instead of realizing he’s sick when he sneezes up black sludge,” I pointed out, “go tell them.” I headed off into the workshop quickly so I didn’t have to witness whatever reaction they were going to have to Michael’s words. I headed over to Isaac’s desk and grabbed his laptop off of it, tucking it under my arm. I crouched down under the desk and unplugged it, taking the charging cable with me. 

When I got back outside, the group of everyone aside from Anthony, Lilith, Todd, Jean, and Isaac, obviously, swarmed me. It was silent, nobody asked anything, they were just there looking on curiously. 

“Yes?” I asked a bit timidly.

“Well… how do you feel?” Roma questioned hesitantly, but I knew she meant well. 

“I’m fine? There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“I think she meant emotionally,” Robbie pointed out.

“Emotionally? I’m fucking ecstatic, really,” I chuckled, pushing past them all. 

“What? How? We figured you’d be… well, destroyed, really,” Des mentioned. 

“He’s alive, that’s all I need. Todd will get him right back to normal soon enough,” I assured, trying to convince myself of that still. I continued off into the hotel, dead set on my mission to bring Isaac his dumb little computer and let him work until he couldn’t. I didn’t want him to keep wearing himself out, but if it’s what he wanted to do, I wouldn’t stop him. I never could say no to him in the first place, and now I just wanted to do every single thing he wanted before he couldn’t do it anymore. 

I entered the infirmary with a little knock, and Isaac looked up and smiled. I placed his laptop on his lap gently and crouched down next to the bed, plugging the charging cable into the outlet. I stood back up and pat Isaac’s head gently, leaning down to press a kiss between his eyebrows. 

“Need anything else?” I asked quietly, stepping back slightly. 

“Just stay,” he requested, his voice cracking a bit. He looked away from me, flushing a bit, and opened his computer up. “Please.” I tilted my head and couldn’t help but think he was just so goddamn adorable all the time. I pulled up the small, rickety stool that Todd probably sat on when he was doing tests on Ize, sitting down next to the injured man. 

“You thought I’d leave you?” I leaned against the edge of the bed and brought a hand up to play with his hair gently. 

“No, just - don’t, please,” he mumbled, giving me a worried gaze that told me how he was really feeling. 

“Never,” I assured him, scratching his head. He leaned into my hand and turned his attention to his computer. He opened some program that I couldn’t even begin to try and comprehend, strings of code lining the screen. The room fell silent after that, other than Isaac’s quick tapping on the keyboard and the idle sounds of Todd’s equipment he was using on the other side of the room. I sighed out and the pit in my stomach just continued to grow. 


	8. Blood, Tears, and Toxins

_Isaac Patel, spring 2158._

It’s been a week and I’m getting worse by the day. I have this headache that comes and goes, making it impossible to work; all my muscles ache and my joints are getting stiffer; there’s this constant ringing in my ears; I can’t sleep; my skin is getting sickly yellow — I hate the way everyone looks at me now. Everyone had gotten used to the scars, they wouldn’t affect the others. But this? Everyone looked at me like I was going to stab them and leave them in an alleyway to bleed out. 

Leo didn’t though. He was constantly with me, always helping me walk and bringing me things I needed and trying to help calm my pain. He was currently sitting against the leg of my chair in the workshop, and I typed away numbly on my computer. He was probably asleep, considering he’d spent the last day and a half caring for me without sleep, so I didn’t bother him. 

Good news, though - I think I’m getting somewhere with the surveyor. My program is almost done, but I have no idea if it’ll work. Maybe it’ll turn it on and put me out of my misery. After all, a surveyor was meant to kill me in the first place. Wouldn’t have gotten into this mess had it done its job. 

But had I died then, I wouldn’t have met Leo. He’s brought me a hell of a lot of joy and fulfilment despite the situation our lives have been put in in the past few years. I leaned over the side of my chair, getting a bit dizzy as I moved, and pressed a kiss to the top of Leo’s head. 

“Thank you,” I whispered to him, patting his head gently. He hummed out and looked up at me. 

“For what?” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. 

“For just being you; being here,” I told him, looking back at my computer screen. I huffed back a breath and looked at the line of code I had down, trying to figure out what I was writing before. 

“Oh, come on, you know you never have to thank me for that,” he chuckled, running his hand against my calf. I found it a bit hard to hear him past the high pitched ringing in my ears but my heart felt warm at his words. “If anything, I should be the one thanking you.”

“Stop being so humble for one second,” I told him, my fingers resting idly on my keyboard. “Just let me tell you how grateful I am that you’re in my life.” He shifted so he could sit on his knees facing me, a look of pure love on his face as he waited for me to continue. I’m sure that’s how some people saw us, really, and I don’t know if I liked that - Leo always on his knees, practically worshipping the ground I walk on, never letting me show any gratitude. “I’m not good with words, you know that, but - I really don’t know what I’d do without you, y’know? I wouldn’t be here to begin with. Wouldn’t _want_ to be here without you.”

“The feeling is very mutual,” he smiled up at me, standing on his knees. He laid his hand on the side of my face and pulled me into a gentle kiss, an action that was sadly a bit dangerous now. One split lip or bleeding gum and Leo would be in the same condition as me. He pulled back from me and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose, pulling a gleeful little giggle out of me. 

“Boys?” Someone called from the door, and I looked up to see that it was Jean. 

“What’s up?” Leo asked, moving to stand up next to me. 

“Dinner is ready if you’d like any.” Leo looked to me to see if I was feeling well enough to eat, and I nodded slightly, pushing myself to stand up. Everything went dark and fuzzy as I moved and my headache returned in full force, causing me to growl and hold my hands to my head. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Leo told me, his hands landing on top of mine. I leaned into him and he whispered a few words of assurance to me as my vision cleared. 

“Fuck,” I mumbled out, taking a deep breath. Leo ran a hand down my back and picked me up carefully in his arms, carrying me out of the building. 

“You’re getting worse,” Jean observed. I shut my eyes tight to block out the setting sun and the smell of the saltwater attacked my nose, making my headache even more. I tried to bury my face in Leo’s shoulder, looking for a shield from everything that was happening to me. 

“Ah, you don’t say? He was gonna get better, huh?” Leo asked a bit sarcastically. I mumbled in agreement against his shoulder. He brought me into the bar and it was quiet, so I wasn’t sure how many people were there. Everyone tended to be quiet around me, knew it would make my head hurt more. Whatever, those condescending bastards had nothing nice to say anyways. 

Leo sat me down on a chair and I leaned my head against the cool wood of the table, groaning slightly. Leo sat down on the other side of the table and gently stroked my head for a long while. I looked up when there was a soft touch on my back to see Anthony looking down worriedly, so I sat back and ran a hand over my face, giving him room on the table to set a small plate of food down. He only gave me a portion of what the others got since I couldn’t get down more than a few bites anyways. I whispered out a ‘thank you’ to Anthony and he nodded slightly, walking away. Glancing around the room showed me that just about everyone was here aside from Lilith, who was probably heading back from her post at the edge of camp now, and Todd, who hadn’t stopped working for days at this point. I liked to think he was getting close to having a cure, but that probably wasn’t true. It takes months to develop a cure and he’s only had me as a test subject for a week. 

“Eat, Ize,” Leo encouraged quietly, the silence in the room so goddamn awkward I wanted to die. It was because of me. It never used to be quiet when we’d eat, but now, nobody said a thing. Des would glance over at me with a pitying look in her eye or Roma would look over, completely terrified of me… I picked my fork up and twitched uncontrollably, which scared me. The twitching always got me - it was pods of the virus in my body pressing up against nerves, which creeped me the fuck out. Like the headaches, I was getting the twitches more and more recently, and they’d just get worse from here. My right hand continued to shake after the violent twitch and I dropped my fork on the table. Every eye in the room was on me and it drove me crazy. 

Everyone here made me so paranoid. Well, Leo didn’t, of course, but everyone else. For my whole life I just slipped between the cracks and went relatively unnoticed, and then I came here and only Leo really paid me any attention, which was a blessing in itself, but this? Everyone is giving me the very wrong kind of attention. For a second I thought it might be nice for all those bastards to be in the same state as me, sick and broken and paranoid beyond compare, but then I snapped back to reality. _How could I think that?_ _They don’t deserve anything of the sort._

I tried to pick up my fork again with both hands this time, but I couldn’t close my right hand’s fingers anymore. I growled in frustration and stood up, getting a head rush but I tried to ignore it. I kept my head down and walked out of the building, my hand shaking in front of me. 

“God, why are you doing that?!” I asked myself, shaking my whole arm. It made pins and needles go through my hand and I hissed at the feeling. 

“Isaac, love, calm down, it’s okay,” Leo said behind me, touching my arm. He looked rather confident, but behind his expression I could see his worry. “Take a breath, talk me through what’s happening.”

“I can’t - my hand, I can’t move it, I don’t know why,” I told him, bringing my hand up so I could blow on it. Still just pins and needles. I felt a hot tear run down my face and my vision blurred from the gathering moisture in my eye. 

“Okay, uhm, relax,” Leo began. “Go see Todd, I’ll be up in a minute, alright?” I nodded slightly and stumbled off to the hotel, fear and confusion and pain mixing together in my head. Everyone else thought they were scared? Try knowing you’re turning into some monster. “Oh! Lil, hey, take him to Todd!” Leo called the former guard over, and she jogged up to me. 

“Yeah, ‘course, c’mon buddy,” she encouraged, putting her makeshift, robotic arm around my back and leading me away. “It’s okay.” Lilith was different than everyone else. She didn’t care one bit about my sickness, she just helped me out. She had told me before that she wasn’t worried about me because she knew I’d be okay in the long run, and I liked to think she was right. She claimed she owed me from when I saved her life, that she wanted to try and save mine in return. I was so grateful for her just being here. “What happened?”

“Hand, can’t feel it,” I answered, trying to calm down as we entered the hotel. She helped me up the stairs and my joints popped with each step. 

“Well shit, that’s not good,” she mumbled, patting my back gently. “You’ll be okay, Todd’ll get you all fixed up again.”

“Hey, I uh - this just popped into my head but it’s important to me,” I began, and she looked on curiously. 

“Go ahead,” she urged, offering a small smile. “I’m all ears.”

“When I’m gone, take care of Leo for me,” I requested, and her whole expression softened. “I’m more worried about him than myself.”

“Aw, ‘course man, I’ll keep an eye on him until you’re back,” she assured me kindly. 

“And don’t let him drink until he dies, I know he’s got a problem already,” I mentioned, shaking my hands in an attempt to regain some feeling. Still none, just stinging, like when I wake up and Leo’s fallen asleep on my arm and I can’t feel it anymore. 

“I’ll do everything I can, I promise.” She pushed the door to the infirmary open and Todd turned from his desk in the corner of the room. 

“Headache?” He asked, moving to stand up and walk over. He gestured for me to sit on the small makeshift hospital bed. 

“No, my hand suddenly went numb and it won’t stop shaking,” I explained as best I could as I sat down. The plastic sheets crunched underneath me and Lilith watched from the door.

“Oh? Describe everything that happened before and after,” he ordered, pulling some white gloves on. He walked over to me and took my hand in his, and I hissed slightly. 

“Uh, well, I got a headache and Leo carried me down to the bar and sat me down, told me I should eat, and when I tried to pick up my fork, I twitched pretty violently and my arm went numb, like pins and needles. I got all paranoid ‘cause everyone was watching so I got up and left, Leo told Lil to bring me up to you,” I explained, and he poked and prodded my forearm. 

“Right, pinched nerve,” he observed, massaging his hand along my arm and up to my shoulder. “Sadly I don't know a lot about chiropractic but I’m sure I’ll be able to feel a bump from the expulsion pod.”

“Oh, god, don’t call it that,” I groaned, a shiver of horror going up my spine. Leo pushed past Lilith carefully and walked over to me. He was flushed red and looked pretty upset. He handed me a cup of water. 

“Drink something please, you haven’t since this morning,” he encouraged. I brought the cup up and took a small sip, my stomach turning as I swallowed. 

“You look pissed off, what happened?” I asked as Todd prodded at my shoulder. 

“I don’t think anyone’s gonna bother you anymore,” he said vaguely, taking the glass from me. 

“Leo…” I sighed out, twitching a bit. 

“Don’t tell me I’m in the wrong because it pisses me off so fucking much seeing them all act like that around you,” he growled, dragging a hand through his hair. “And I _know_ it makes you upset, you don’t deserve it.” I reached up with my free hand and pulled him down so I could press a kiss to his forehead. 

“Thank you,” I chuckled, patting his head gently. “But really, don’t start making enemies.” Todd pressed down at the bottom of my shoulder blade and a jolt went down to my numb hand. I yelped out both in surprise and a bit of pain, but the feeling in my hand began to return. 

“There, was that it?” The doctor asked, leaning back from me. I nodded and squeezed my fingers closed just to make sure. I felt a tickle in my nose and I frowned. 

“Fuck, hold on,” I warned, bringing my arm up. I huffed in a breath and sneezed into my elbow, a sharp stinging going through my nose. I pulled back from my arm and froze. Todd gasped and put his hand on Leo’s chest, pushing him back from me. 

“Don’t move,” he ordered, and I could feel something that definitely wasn’t mucus slide down my nose. I pressed my lips closed and it continued down my chin. The sleeve of my white hoodie had a thick, black substance soaking into the fabric. I whined with my lips pressed closed, holding my breath. 

“It’s okay, you’re fine,” Leo assured, and Lilith moved closer to observe. She placed a hand on Leo’s arm to keep him in place. Todd took the cup from Leo’s hand and spilled the water out on the floor quickly before holding it under my chin. He brought the arm that wasn’t a biohazard up and put my hand on the glass. I held it there and a drop of the vile fluid fell into it. 

“Lil, grab me that metal box over there, don’t open it,” Todd instructed, carefully peeling my hoodie off of me. He was careful not to touch the infected part and folded it up. Lilith brought the metal box over and sat it next to me on the bed. Todd popped it open and it was full of used medical supplies. He dropped my sweater into the box and shut it. “God it just keeps coming,” he noticed as the cup slowly filled up under my chin. I groaned and squeezed my eye shut. “You must’ve popped a pod.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Leo offered, and Lilith nodded behind him. 

“Uhm… yeah, grab that roll of plastic wrap there,” Todd directed, gesturing towards the counter. “And… Lil, have you got a hair elastic?”

“I do, here,” she said and Leo jogged over to the counter. Todd took the elastic from Lilith and Leo handed him the plastic wrap. 

“It’s slowing down,” Todd observed, looking at the cup in my hand. The ringing in my ears got louder and I felt a pressure against the back of my eyes that nearly had me drop the cup, but I couldn’t let myself do that. “Paper towels.” Lilith grabbed the doctor his paper towels and he set the plastic and hair tie on the bed next to me, ripping off a generous amount of paper towel. 

“Hey, you’re alright, Ize, you’ll be okay,” Leo assured me quietly. I started feeling very light headed and my body forced me to inhale through my nose. I gained no oxygen, instead I felt the thick black fluid drip back down my throat. I opened my mouth and huffed in a much needed breath, some of the fluid slipping past my lips. My tongue involuntarily lifted and pressed against the roof of my mouth, trying to stay the fuck away from whatever biohazard was trying to kill me. 

Todd carefully wiped a paper towel under my nose and over my lips, picking up as much fluid as he could. “Spit,” he encouraged, holding the paper towel under my lips. He must’ve not wanted to contaminate the contents of the cup. I gratefully spat out into the paper towel, trying to empty out my mouth. He dropped the used paper towels into the metal box. He used a few more to wipe my chin off and took the cup from my hand. He put a few layers of plastic wrap over the cup and secured it with the hair tie. 

“Breathe, love,” Leo encouraged, brushing my hair away from my forehead. “You’re okay.”

“Could you two give us some privacy for a moment?” Todd requested, and Lilith nodded slightly. She headed for the door before realizing Leo wasn’t following. 

“Leo, bud, you need some dinner, you didn’t eat,” she mentioned, and he sighed out a little bit. He reluctantly turned and followed her out. When the door clicked shut, Todd looked over from his desk, where he’d brought the cup. 

“You’re progressing fast. Faster than I’ve seen before. Your immune system is worse than most,” he said, his tone darkening a bit. I sighed out and stood up on shaky legs, picking up the metal box. I brought it over to the doctor and he gestured vaguely at an open space on the countertop. 

“Well I never really ate properly, especially in the past few years,” I suggested, returning to the bed. I laid myself down and held my hand over my eye to block out the light. I tried to will away the aches in my body and head but nothing happened. If anything, the thinking made it worse. “I take it I’ve got less time than I imagined?”

“At this rate? Five, six days maybe.” My heart broke at that. Two weeks to less than one and I still hadn’t finished the surveyor. Still hadn’t said goodbye. 

“Fuck,” I uttered out, a little sob breaking past my lips. “Please tell me you’re at least making progress on the cure. ‘Cause, let me tell you, I’m not too keen on dying like this.” 

“I am, I promise. I’ll die before I let you live the rest of your life like that,” he assured across the room. 

“And more importantly? Don’t let anything happen to Leo. Please,” I begged him, lifting my hand up so I could watch his reaction. “He’s probably down there drinking already, more than likely starting a fight.”

“Of course. I’m sure Lilith is already on it,” he assured. I dropped my hand back down and sighed out, unable to find a comfortable position or thought in my head. I laid there in silence for a long while, unable to sleep but also incapable of speech or movement. I just wanted to fizzle away, or at least feel Leo’s gentle hands in my hair of his quiet whispers of assurance. 

After what felt like an eternity but, based on the colour of the sky outside, was only about a half hour, the door to the room opened rather roughly and I looked up to watch none other than Leo, of course, _of course,_ pinching his nose tightly as a stream of blood dripped down his chin. For a moment my brain went to the worst possible reality, that his blood wasn’t bright red but blacker than the void. Based on my whole inky-nose situation earlier, I feel as if my fears were relational. Behind Leo came Sai, who was clearly only there to stop Leo from lashing out at Des, who followed into the room last. 

“Oh, good fucking lord,” Todd groaned, looking up from his desk. 

“Take care of her, I’m fine,” Leo growled, nodding towards Des. Her hair was a mess and her elbows were scraped up pretty badly. Knuckles were bruised, had what appeared to be a black eye developing. I took up the laborious task of sitting up in bed and I sighed out as I took in the context clues. 

“Leo, what did I tell you about getting in fights?” He turned and gave me a slightly apologetic look before deciding to stand his ground. He pulled a few paper towels off the roll and held them to his nose as he gestured wildly towards Des and Sai. 

“Des fuckin’ said it! She - you saw, Sai, you saw - fucking dragging your name through the mud like you’re less than human,” he basically spat. He walked past Des and Todd, who had climbed out of his seat to inspect Des’ wounds, and stopped by my side. “Like she wasn’t all buddy-buddy with you a few weeks ago. And don’t even say you started hating each other after Lilith because I _know_ you forgave her.” He reached up and pulled his goggles off his head, dropping them down onto the table next to the bed. The right lens was cracked, and I hated that this time it wasn't on purpose. 

“Leo,” I groaned, shaking my head. I took his free hand in mine and he leaned down slightly so I could whisper to him. “I don’t need you getting the shit beaten out of you because of a few words you’re probably taking too personally.”

“Too personally? Ize, she’s acting like we need to put you down. I’m not fucking letting that fly,” he mumbled, nudging me to scoot over. He sat on the edge of the bed once I’d made enough space for him. “Anything said about you matters to me. It’s my job to stand up for you.”

“Shh, no it’s not,” I spoke calmly. I ran my hand down his back gently. “I know you’re angry, I know you’re upset, but you can’t be doing this. It’ll get you killed.”

“I can’t help it.” He looked away from me and hung his head in shame. I knew he hated when I scolded him, even when I was being as kind as I could. I knew he would always fight for me, that it wasn’t something I could ever change, and a part of me appreciated that so much. The other part of me wished he would just turn his back on me for his own good, but thank someone that would never happen. 

“Let’s go for a walk,” I decided, nudging him to stand up. “There’s something I want to ask you anyways.” He nodded silently and helped me out of bed. He wrapped his free arm under my shoulders so he could support some of my weight. 

“Be careful, come back in no more than an hour,” Todd mentioned as he tended to Des’ generally minor wounds. I offered a little nod and I noticed that Sai hadn’t looked at me the whole time he’d been in the room. _Whatever, best not to point it out to Leo._

Leo led me out of the room and carefully carried me down the stairs, leaving me to hold the reddening paper towel to his nose. I hated to admit it but he looked sexy as fuck like that, and it only got me even more overwhelmed knowing he was like this because he was fighting for me. He set me down on the creaky wooden floorboards of the bottom floor of the hotel and we wandered outside together, sticking close to the buildings. We stayed as far away as we could from anyone else, trying to just focus on each other. 

“What’s on your mind?” He asked, running a hand down to the small of my back. I tried to ignore my pounding headache, to just appreciate his presence while I still had it. I took a deep breath and looked down at him. I felt such pain in my heart and my throat clenched up as I spoke my next few words. 

“No more than six days,” I croaked out. His pace slowed a bit and I watched his lip tremble as he looked at me. He tore his gaze away and looked at the dusty sidewalk. 

“That’s okay. It’ll be okay. I promise,” he said, his voice shaking slightly. 

“Look at me,” I encouraged, halting at the edge of a small, boarded off building down the road from the hotel. We wouldn’t be heard or seen here unless someone was stupid enough to follow. Leo brought his beautiful green eyes up to mine. I reached up to the back of my neck and unclasped the chain that hung around it. My heart broke as I held the necklace and the ring looped through it up to Leo’s neck. “For safekeeping,” I assured him, and he let me secure it. “I expect you to return it when I come back.”

“You wouldn’t be able to stop me if you tried,” he chuckled weakly, tucking the ring under his shirt. I reached into the front pocket of my jeans and pulled out his pocket watch, which I slid into his own pocket. “Is that what you were looking to ask?”

“No,” I admitted. I figured it was best not to overthink my next words, that Leo would accept them however he wanted no matter how I phrased it. “Look I - don’t take this as crazy. I just - if I end up dying, whether it’s from this or far in the future, I don’t - I don’t want to go alone, y’know?”

He gazed at me for a moment, taking in my words and the meaning I had behind them. “You know I’ll go with you,” he whispered, dropping his bloody paper towel on the ground. His nose still bled a little bit but neither of us cared. “I would even if you didn’t want me to. I’m willing to risk the chance that there’s an afterlife I can spend with you than to live the rest of my life without you.” I felt pressure grow in my eye and hot tears blurred my vision. 

“It’s settled then. We’ll go together, whenever that may be.” I choked out a sob and he took my face between his hands, pulling me down into what I believe was the most desperate kiss ever shared in the history of the universe. His blood and my tears offered a concoction that, in a fairytale, might’ve released me from the curse plaguing my body. I didn’t care that it was blood, I only cared that it was Leo who had stood by me this whole time. Our lips popped as we parted, sighing out in harmony. 

“How about we just keep a simple question for this?” He proposed, making eye contact with me. I rested my forehead against his and looked on expectantly. “Something like ‘are you ready?’ If we both answer yes, it’s time. Pull out our pistols and count to three?”

“Beautiful,” I whispered, unable to think of any more words. The thought of Leo being as devoted to me as I was to him mixed with my headache and my overwhelmed state from the kiss we had shared left me speechless. 

“Are you?”

“No,” I answered immediately, brushing a hand over his hair gently. He leaned his head into my touch and closed his eyes.

“Good. Nor am I.” He reached up and wiped his sleeve over my mouth, from the bottom of my nose to my chin. “I love you forever and always.”

“And I love you until the ends of time and space.” I leaned my weight against him and he lead me back down the street and into the hotel. He got me back up to the medbay and helped me get comfortable in bed. Des and Sai were no longer here, just Todd working away silently at the other end of the room. 

As Leo pulled a chair up to the side of the bed, I eyed up my laptop sitting on the table next to me. “I need to work,” I decided, and he reluctantly handed me my computer. He ran his sleeve against his mouth and most of his blood was wiped away. 

“You’re tired.” He lifted my eyepiece off my head and set it down gently next to his discarded, broken goggles. I opened up my laptop and powered it up, humming slightly as he played with my hair. 

“I’m not,” I assured him. My head hurt, yes, but I didn’t feel tired. Adrenaline rush, probably. He let out a sigh and rested his head against my arm. His curly hair tickled the inside of my elbow slightly but I ignored it, instead basking in the warmth of his skin against mine. 

“I know you can take care of yourself. Just please listen to your body eventually,” he requested, and I reached over to pat his head gently. Silence hung between us and I got to work, trying my best to focus on the task at hand. I _could_ get the surveyor done, theoretically, in a few days. There would be glitches and coding errors, though, and nobody here knew how to fix them. Whatever, I can fix them when I’m better. Just to have the surveyor up and running before I got too sick would be an achievement in itself. 

Leo’s breathing evened out against my arm eventually and I kept working away long after that. I kept working after Todd left to get some rest too. I can’t even remember if I got any sleep to be honest. After a while, I started to get paranoid. It felt so much like someone was watching me, even though Leo was the only one in the room with me. I tried my best to ignore it, but the feeling just wouldn’t go away. I wanted to wake Leo up, to tell him what was wrong, but he needed to sleep. Besides, he was there to protect me anyways, and if something was truly wrong, he’d already be awake. 

I hit the spacebar one last time and I blacked out. 

_Leo Smith, 5 days later._

I took another sip of whiskey right out of the bottle that I’d been nursing for the better part of two hours now. Everything was numb, cold, dreary, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. There wasn’t anything anyone could do, really. I laid my head down against the bar, listening to Anthony work away idly in the next room over. I just wanted to be with Isaac right now, to tell him everything I was thinking, to run my hands over him one last time, but Todd had kicked me out earlier, something about Isaac being too paranoid. Right, ‘cause he was paranoid of _me_. 

He’s been waking me up in the night more and more recently, complaining about shadows and weird spots he could only describe as those floaters you get in your eyes when you look at the sun for too long. The last thing he’s scared of is me. If anything, me being around keeps him in check. He’d started crying earlier when Todd directed me out of the room, a silent cry but a cry nonetheless. I was so tempted to knock Todd’s lights out at that moment, but he didn’t deserve it. 

Todd cared about Isaac, much unlike most people here. Des, and Sai, and Robbie, and Roma, and Jean… they’d all claimed they were Isaac’s best friends before in the past, yet now they’re either terrified of him, or want him gone. I’d dealt with a lot of snakes in my life but goddamn these bastards were fucking vipers. 

I’d asked Isaac about it before, whether or not he’d be interested in leaving this place and heading out to the Syndicate or the Anarchists instead. He politely declined, no explanation given. Just a simple ‘no, we belong here.’ 

I gazed at the golden liquid in my half finished bottle of whiskey. The colour reminded me of Isaac’s eye too much, and I buried my face in the crook of my arm. Alcohol is flammable, isn’t it? I should burn this place to the ground. What am I saying, that’s ridiculous. This is still home, after all. Burning something sounded enticing though.

I sat up and reached into my pocket, fishing out a lighter and a cigarette. Anthony didn’t want me smoking in here, but I couldn’t find the will to care. I lit the cigarette and took a long drag of it, followed by a mouthful of whiskey. 

The front door of the bar opened and I couldn’t be bothered to look over my shoulder to see who it was. “Hey, uh, you guys might want to come see this,” Lilith beckoned behind me, and my mood brightened just the slightest bit. Lilith was always nice to be around, as compared to literally everyone else aside from Isaac, of course. I forced myself to stand and Anthony walked out of the back room, glancing at the cigarette balanced between my fingers. I took one last drink of my whiskey and slipped the bottle into the pocket of my jacket. 

I followed Lil outside and Anthony walked behind me. Curiosity grew inside me, pushing away my darkest of thoughts for the moment. I froze when I rounded the corner of the workshop down the street, my gaze skating across the blurry horizon of the ocean and falling on the tall hunk of scrap metal waltzing around the rocky and grassy edge of the beach. 

In front of the robot, none other than Isaac himself paced backwards, the surveyor following his movements. Isaac let out a laugh of victory and jumped slightly, clapping excitedly. 

“I fucking did it!” He cheered, reaching a hand out and lowering it down slowly. The surveyor’s hydraulics hissed and it lowered itself down immediately. My heart swelled with pride at the sight of it all - Isaac’s joy, his accomplishment, the robot working perfectly from what I could tell. I took one last drag of my cigarette and dropped it on the ground, stepping on the end to make sure the embers were snuffed out. 

“See? I told you you could!” I laughed with him, taking a wobbly step forward. Lilith followed me over happily, admiring Isaac’s work as well. Everyone else stayed as far away as possible, scared of both the man and his robot. Isaac’s smile made my heart glow and he moved as fast as he could despite his locked up joints so he could lunge at me in a tight hug. I stumbled backwards a bit but managed to support his weight, my hands splaying out against his shoulder blades. Behind him, Lilith ran a hand along the side of the surveyor. 

“I can’t believe it works,” he sighed out, pressing a kiss to my cheek. 

“I knew you’d do it,” I hummed happily. He reached into my pocket and pulled out my bottle of whiskey like he knew I’d hide it there. He popped the top open and knocked back a mouthful before hiding it away in his own pocket. 

“I’m keeping this,” he decided, wiping his mouth off with his sleeve. “No more for now.” He twitched slightly and turned to look at his robot again. He leaned down and grabbed a palm-sized rock before moving to stand in front of the surveyor and holding the rock up. “Cain,” he began. He’d started calling the surveyor Cain a while back, since its serial number was C41N which looked very similar. The robot made a beeping sound, and Isaac raised his free hand, the robot responding by standing upright. It stood a good few meters taller than Isaac, but they bore a striking resemblance to each other somehow. Both tall with skinny legs and moving in a stiff yet graceful way. “Fire at this.” 

Ize pulled his arm back as far as his joints would allow (which was only about 90° at the elbow,) and he tossed it across the beach, away from everyone who was observing. The surveyor beeped ominously a few times before its Gatling gun fired a few rounds in quick succession at the rock before it even hit the ground. It was frightening to think that robots like this were around the city programmed to shoot us like that. 

“Incredible,” Isaac sighed out, and I was just so overwhelmingly proud of him. Since the day I met him he’s gone on about these damn robots and how he wanted to rig one up to protect people and not kill, and now here he was, standing in front of months of work that had finally come together. 

For the next few hours, I watched Isaac test out his new robot companion, Lilith observing along with me. Everyone else drifted away and it kind of pissed me off. Not even a single word of praise from anyone. For ages it’s all been ‘keep it up Isaac, you’re gonna save us all with this surveyor’ and now suddenly… nothing. Selfish. I’ve never seen a group of such selfish people in my life. And of all the people who deserved to be treated like this, Isaac was not one of them. Isaac didn’t seem too bothered, at least. He calmed down from his excitement high after a little bit, and his pain and paranoia seemed to return, to my dismay. 

“Hey, I think it’s time you had a rest,” I mentioned, and Lilith nodded beside me. I brushed my hand against Isaac’s arm and he twitched in response. 

“I don’t - I’ve - not yet, no.” He tapped on the side of the robot and it beeped once. 

“Come on, man, it’ll make you feel better,” Lilith encouraged, and Isaac sighed. 

“I - I’m not ready to, is all,” he claimed, but he sounded very nervous. He glanced around like someone was staring at him before he moved to cling onto my side. “Want to spend all the time I’ve got with you.” 

“Aw, babe, you’ve - you’ve got lots of time,” I told him. I mean, he seemed alright earlier. I could tell he was in pain though but I couldn’t do anything about it. It broke my heart more than anything ever had, that he was suffering and I could do nothing but watch. Lilith looked at the ground for a moment before quietly walking away, giving us our time alone. He looked down and shut his eye tightly. 

“I’m leaving tonight. I can’t - I can’t risk it. Can’t risk you getting hurt.” My world crashed in on itself for the umteenth time this week. This didn’t need to happen, it never should’ve happened. For the first time in my life I wanted him to shut his mouth and just do as I say, and I hated that. I would never stoop so low to even insinuate that he should do exactly what I told him to. And the worst part? He would probably listen. So all I could do was plead with him, not in an attempt to dissuade him per se, but to try and tell him how much this was destroying me. 

I had told him before that I hated that all I seemed to be doing was thinking of myself, of my own feelings when it came to him, and not Isaac himself. He was quick to assure me that he knew I was only concerned about his safety, and that my emotions were just part of my worry, but I should know better. I should know by this point that me being a sad, depressed, useless drunk is making Isaac feel worse, but here I am still falling apart. But… what else can I do? Isaac is in every way my heart — without him, I’m gone. The blood stops pumping and the world goes dark. 

My life has always been a puzzle, and it had been finished for quite a while in the past few seasons with Isaac's help. Then someone came and pushed the puzzle off the table and it shattered into a thousand pieces. Now I’m just lost and don’t even know which piece to pick up first. I’m clearly scrambling for the ones that Isaac has placed but they seem to be stuck to the floor, like trying to pick up a coin off a countertop. 

“Please don't,” I whispered. I couldn’t think of anything else I could say. My whole body just ached with _don't go, please._

“I have to. I feel worse than I ever have, Leo, you know I’m going to end up getting hurt or hurting someone else,” he explained, leaning his head down into the crook of my neck. “I know you don’t want me to go but we’ve talked about this already. I have to. It’s best if we do this now before things get worse.”

I lifted his chin up with two fingers so I could see his face. “I know,” I uttered out, and when I blinked, a tear rolled down my cheek. 

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” he begged, resting his forehead against mine. He placed his shaky hands on my hips and we rocked back and forth slowly. His grip was barely there, clearly outlining how weak he was. “You’ll come talk to me every day, I hope.” 

“You know I will.” I took a deep inhale of his scent, trying to savour every moment. “I just - this shouldn’t have happened.” 

“It’s not your fault it did. And there’s nothing we can do about it now,” he mentioned quietly. “I’ll be okay eventually. I’ll be with you.” I locked onto his lips and shared one of the last kisses I would for a long time with him. 

“Are you ready? ‘Cause I am at the moment,” I mumbled against his chapped lips. 

“No, Leo, not yet.” 

“Damn,” I chuckled weakly, giving him a chaste kiss. “It’d be very romantic though, you’ve gotta admit. Everyone walks out at the sound of gunshots only to see the both of us upholding our promises to each other. Like our final vows.”

“Someday we’ll show them,” he promised, gazing straight into my soul. “Not yet, though. I’m not giving up yet.”

“Good. I’d like to fuck you one last time before we die,” I joked, and he laughed a little bit. 

“You can have me all you want when I’m better,” he assured. I was too upset to be able to fuck him now anyways. He reached up and stroked my hair back from my forehead gently. “Let’s go lock me up. I feel no need to say goodbye to anyone else. I’ve already said goodbye to Lilith and Todd, that’s all I needed.”

“Already?” I croaked out. He pressed his lips together and nodded slightly. 

“I’m as ready as I’m gonna be. Come help me,” he whispered. He took a step back and looked at his surveyor. “Cain, go back to your docking station,” he ordered and the robot immediately obeyed, heading back into the workshop. He smiled a little bit in response and he led me down the road, past the workshop and bar. He wrapped his hands around my arm and we walked in silence to the emptied out factory at the end of the road. A few days ago, Sai and Roma had helped me go through the building, pulling out any loose nails and removing anything Isaac could possibly hurt himself on. 

We stopped at the big metal doors facing the road. “Change your mind,” I wished quietly. He sighed and locked me in a hug, one that was very gentle yet so powerful. 

“I’m sorry. I won’t.” He ran his hand along my back gently and I mewled into his chest. 

“I’m not ready,” I told him brokenly. “I don’t want to say goodbye yet.”

“I know, I know,” he cooed, rocking me slightly. I let out a choked sob and gripped his shirt tightly. “It’ll be easier if you let me go now. You don’t need to say goodbye. I’ll still be right here.”

“It’s never going to be easy,” I huffed out, dragging my hands down his face gently. I traced my fingertips along a few of the many thin, completely healed over scars carved into his skin. He was always so strong; so brave. He’d nearly been killed by a surveyor and yet he dedicated all his effort into working with one. 

“It would be far worse if I wasn’t myself anymore,” he pointed out. I sighed out in defeat. 

“I guess so.” He stepped back and I helped him nudge the large doors open. He stepped into the dark building and turned to look at me, leaning against the edge of the door. 

“Come here,” he beckoned, holding his arms out. I latched onto him one last time. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too,” I responded, my throat beginning to hurt from how hard I was trying not to cry.

“Here, one last one.” He dipped his head down and our lips made one final contact. I couldn’t help but sob against his lips. He brought a few fingers up to my mouth and hushed me quietly. “Shh, shh, it’ll be alright.” He hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the dark room behind him. He frowned and looked back at me. 

He pulled me to sit down on the sidewalk facing him, his body inside of the factory and mine just outside. I couldn’t take my hands off his face, like if I did, I’d never see him again. He leaned his head into my hands and reached into his pocket, pulling out the bottle of whiskey he’d stolen from me. 

“Let’s get hammered,” he chuckled, popping the top open and taking two big swallows. He handed me the bottle and I knocked back as much as I could. It burned my throat but I couldn’t help but laugh with him. 

“God, you really are my soulmate,” I smiled. I didn’t really believe in all that soulmate junk until I met Isaac. I mean, he’s my perfect counterpart. There’s no doubt that there’s anyone who belonged with me more than him. I mean, our chemistry was just perfect. He had the same humour as me, the same wants as me, drank the same as me, loved me as much as I loved him. 

“No doubt about it,” Ize agreed. We passed the bottle between us until it was empty and we couldn’t help but laugh and celebrate with each other. What we were celebrating was beyond me, all that mattered was that we were together. We’d always be together. I asked him three times if he was ready to end it. He said no every time. I was honestly kind of glad he said no at the moment. He was strong, he would get better. He had to. 

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “Alright, don’t complain,” he began, his words slurred. He set the empty whiskey bottle; his revolver, which only had one bullet in it; and his metal eyepiece on the ground before moving to stand up on shaky legs. “Let’s just get this door closed, that’s all,” he explained, stepping into the cold factory. My mind was too numb to disobey at this point, and I helped him push the door closed. My heart sank as it thunked shut and there was just silence for a long moment. “You’ve got the key. Lock it, Leo.”

The way he said my name never failed to bring me to the surface of the emotions I was drowning in. Since the first time he’d said it, I hadn’t been the same. He always pronounced it perfectly. He said it differently than everyone else, yet it was exactly how it was meant to be said. It’s like he adds a hidden ‘h’ to the end, but he didn’t have any distinct accent. His family was a long line of Canadians after all, and you could barely tell that somewhere in that bloodline he had middle eastern DNA in him. It was from his father’s side, he’d explained once, but he’d never figured out how far back the heritage went. Nobody alive in his family at the time he was born had any sort of accent, that’s for sure. Maybe it was just the gravelly sound his voice had that made him pronounce my name like he did. I could barely notice the change in the beautiful melody itself. 

I tumbled back into reality as I felt a little gust of wind brush against the back of my neck. I fished into my pocket for the key Isaac had mentioned and reluctantly locked the door, sealing the deal. He wasn’t coming out again until Todd had something to fix him. I slid my back against the door and sat hard on the ground, hanging my head. 

“Thank you,” he said, his voice muffled from the metal between us. Silence stretched out again and Isaac cleared his throat slightly. “I can get used to this. It’s not so bad, really. Kind of dark is all, but that’s okay.” I rested my head against the metal door and got lost in the scratchy, slurred melody of his voice. “Leo? You still there?”

“Hm? Yeah, ‘course I am. I’m not going anywhere,” I assured him. I looked up at the sky, where a few stars were beginning to be visible. “I miss you already.” 

“I miss you too, love,” he responded. I’d never felt so heartbroken before. I know he would never _try_ to hurt me, and that he was hurting far more, but this was just such a raw, emotional situation. Nothing I’d ever experienced before. I wouldn’t wish this feeling upon my worst enemy. 

“Try to sleep, it’ll make you feel better,” I told him. I heard him shift against the stone floor inside and I wished I could bring him a blanket or something. He’d be able to strangle himself with that though, and we didn’t want to risk that. I couldn’t let Isaac kill himself. I’d do it for him, that saves him from the fear. Besides, he wanted to do the same with me. Never once had he ever wanted to harm someone, let alone kill them, but I was different. He’d take my life so we could die together. Might be a sick thought for most, but it was the most romantic, most powerful action I could imagine. 

“What’s your favourite memory of us?” He asked, and based on where his voice came from, he’d laid down on the floor. 

“Favourite? They’re all my favourite.” I raked my mind for any moment that stood out in particular. 

“Leo,” he chuckled, sighing out a bit. 

“Right. Um… how about… remember that one contract we took for the Anarchists? And we managed to get in by pretending you were an electrician?” I smiled as I thought about that day. 

“Oh yeah, and I hooked some wires up so they’d start a fire once we left,” he said, clearly just as fond of the memory. He even chuckled a little bit. I yearned to see his smile. 

“And we spent the night in an empty apartment a few streets over, watched the fire rage all night,” I recalled. We’d sat on the dusty, rusted balcony of said apartment, curled up next to each other with our backs against the cold stone wall. It was windy out that night, and we couldn’t tell if it was snow or ash from the nearby fire in our hair. 

“It was a beautiful sight,” Isaac said, shifting against the stone floor. I placed my hand on the door and for a moment I imagined his hand was right on the other side. “I’d never seen such a big fire before. If even a small campfire, to be honest.”

“Neither had I,” I agreed, closing my eyes and imagining the fire. “And to think it was a bunch of snotty aristocrats harbouring government soldiers. Makes the thought of it all so much sweeter.” 

“I’m just glad nobody got hurt,” he admitted. “I might’ve started the fire but I was only looking to damage property, not people.”

“I know, I know,” I chuckled quietly. “You knew nobody would stick around. It only brought good for everyone else in the city. Remember, Mark said a group from the Syndicate caught wind of the news while they were out on the other side of town, miles away. Lots of celebrating for that. All for what you did.” 

“You helped me too, y’know? And nobody other than the Anarchists knows it was us. Just our little secret,” he said quietly. 

“Don’t sell yourself short, love. You could’ve done it without me,” I pointed out, reaching over to pick up his discarded pistol. I fiddled with the trigger for a moment and turned the gun so I could look down the barrel. I stared down it for a moment before turning it around and popping the chamber open so I could pull the bullet out. I set it on the concrete and cocked the gun. 

“I wouldn’t have had the balls to do anything of the sort, you know that,” he claimed as I toyed with the gun for another moment. I turned it and held it between my eyes, not hesitating for a moment as I tested out the trigger. It clicked as the hammer shot forward but had no bullet to hit. I let out a shaky breath and my pulse thundered in my ears. “I know what you’re doing. Don’t get any ideas.” 

“I won’t, I promise. Just wondered what it might feel like to stare down a gun’s barrel,” I assured him. I set the firearm down and leaned my head back against the door again, trying to relax as much as I could. “What’s _your_ favourite memory of us?” I returned to him, changing the topic. 

“Oh, easy. You proposing obviously, best day of my life so far,” he chuckled, shifting a bit. I think he sat up to pull his shoes off, maybe use his sweater as a pillow. 

“Really? Best day of your life? The same day you got stabbed _and_ sick,” I reminded him, though it was heartwarming to know he was so happy about the idea of staying with me until the end of time. 

“My whole life, Leo, I never thought I’d find someone I’d want to marry, let alone who would want me just as much. I figured I’d get sick eventually, or have a knife fight with the wrong person. I didn’t expect you to want to marry me,” he explained, a happy lilt to his voice. 

“Wait, you didn’t think I wanted to keep you forever?” I was almost offended for a moment, but I was more concerned that I hadn’t shown him enough love for him to believe that I loved him more than anything in the whole universe. 

“No, no, no, I definitely did, I promise. I just figured marriage of all things wasn’t that interesting to you,” he explained. “I mean technically there’s no government we need to register under as married so marriage isn’t really a thing anymore but really you can’t blame me, Mr. Leo ‘I’ve never wanted to hold hands with anyone before I met you’ Smith.”

“It’s more of a sentimental action, in my eyes. A promise. And you know better than anyone that I want to experience everything under the sun with you.” He sighed out contentedly behind me. 

“I know, I know. I want to as well. And I very obviously love the idea of us being that devoted to each other,” he giggled. Our conversation paused there as I let out a yawn, and we just relaxed in the knowledge of each other’s company. Sure, we couldn’t touch or see each other, which was what we were so used to falling asleep doing, but it was enough. He was happy for the time being, and that’s all I needed. 

“I love you,” I whispered, shutting my eyes. I curled my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them. 

“I love you too. More than you could ever imagine.” Then —true silence. We couldn’t even hear distant gunfire tonight. Just quiet, like the government had finally called a ceasefire or a stalemate and maybe we could go back to mingling with others without the fear of being called rebels and getting pulverized. I finally nodded off to sleep for a little while. 

* * *

Lilith woke me a few hours later with a nudge to my shoulder. She could clearly tell that Isaac was on the other side of the door and wasn’t planning on coming out. She crouched down and tried to nudge me to stand up. “C’mon man, let's get you into a warm bed,” she encouraged quietly. I groaned and pushed her off. 

“Can’t,” I mumbled, looking back at the door behind me. I put my ear up to it but couldn’t hear anything. “He might have nightmares again, I can’t leave him alone in there.” 

“Right,” she sighed out, moving to sit next to me. She set her rifle — the same T91 assault rifle I’d been using for years but had found no need for it anymore — in her lap so it was easily accessible if she needed it. “I understand. I’ll stay out here with you then, just to make sure nothing happens.” She was quiet after that, but I was glad she came to check on us at least. I knew Isaac had told her to keep me in line while he’s unable to, and I really did appreciate it. Whether I’d accept her help was still up in the air, but I was glad to know that someone cared. 

I looked over at her for a minute. She didn’t look very tired, which probably meant she’d had a nap earlier so she could wander the camp's borders until dawn. It surprised me at first, her eagerness to protect us all, to watch over us. Maybe it was just habit from years of monitoring the streets just to live to see another day, but it had clearly changed to simply be because she cared. 

“Have you ever looked at someone and thought ‘yep, that’s the one I want forever?’” She tilted her head and looked back at me. She took a moment to think. 

“I don’t think so, no,” she decided, nodding to confirm. “Nothing like what you clearly feel.” 

“It’s a beautiful feeling,” I told her. I looked down at my hands, which had a bunch of little indents in the palms from where I’d been leaning against them on the concrete. “Y’know, I was just like you not that long ago.” I felt like an old man when I said that. 

“Oh? How so?” She turned a bit to face me, curiosity lining her face.

“I never understood why people would want to be devoted to each other,” I began. I swallowed and my ears popped slightly. “I’ve spent my whole life running away from people who cared about me because I decided I didn’t want the baggage, and yet… god, that was such a stupid mistake.”

“You just needed the right person,” she pointed out. That didn’t make it right, what I’d done to everyone else. What I’d done to my family. 

“I dropped out of highschool and moved across the city at 16 to join a money laundering scheme in which I got involved in a lot of gang stuff. I had friends, I had a family, and I just left them.” I was guilty. Maybe I could’ve given those people a fraction of the love I’d given Isaac and I could still have them. 

“You must’ve had a reason,” she mentioned, clearly interested in figuring out a bit more about me. The alcohol from throughout the day loosened my lips too much for my own good. This is the kind of subject I’d only talk to Isaac about. For a moment I wished he’d pipe up from the other side of the door and tell me to think about it for a second. 

“I was never very smart,” I told her, figuring that was a decent enough way to start. “Barely passing any of my classes once highschool came around. In fact, I was failing math that semester, so that was a big factor as to why I dropped out. My mom wasn’t very happy to hear that I wasn’t showing up at school and was instead hanging around with shady people instead, dealing meth to kids I had gone to school with. She told me it was a horrible example for my sister and she was so right,” I explained. My throat tightened at the thought of my sister. I pushed her out of my mind for a moment. “I told my mom to go fuck herself and I spent a few nights in a motel. When I went back home, turns out my boyfriend at the time came looking for me and apparently my mom wasn’t… wasn’t very happy I wasn’t exactly straight, y’know? It wasn’t horrible, but she just glared at me like I wasn’t human. I packed my bags that night, went out and sold my phone, and took a taxi to the coast. Next thing I know, I’m twisted up in a money laundering scheme and I’m making more money than you could imagine. I had no reason to go back.”

“...I’m trying to understand,” she said quietly. “You’re the complete opposite now. Selfless, loving, only looking to take care of other people. What happened?”

“Isaac did. I really can’t explain the details of it, I just… changed. Ask anyone, I became a new person when I met him.” I smiled a bit as I thought about how Isaac has made me change for the better. I’m a good person now. And sure, that doesn’t forgive what I’ve done in the past, but at least now I can see that I did something wrong before and I won’t do it again. “The first few days we knew each other I was clearly still trying to figure out these new feelings. It’s like a weight had been lifted and Isaac didn’t even like me. Sure, I just wanted to fuck him at first but now that I look back at that whole ordeal, that was me just being in denial about my feelings.”

“Hm. Well I’m very glad you’ve become the person you are,” she smiled kindly. “If you think about it, had you never left your family behind, you never would’ve ended up here, with him.” I looked up at the dark, cloudy sky and connected those two very obvious dots. I smiled a bit. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” I agreed. I nodded a bit to assure her of it. “I’d trade everyone for him.”

“He deserves you,” she whispered. I looked back down at her.

“He does. I don’t mean to sound… ah fuck, what’s the word,” I paused shutting my eyes as I thought. “Like… full of myself? Goddammit there’s a better word for it.”

“...Egotistical?” I jumped a bit at the scratchy voice echoing through the door behind me. 

“Shit, you scared me,” I chuckled, looking over my shoulder at the cold, metal door. “But yes! Egotistical is the word I was looking for! I don’t mean to sound egotistical but I’m the only person in the world who can take care of him properly.”

“Very true,” Lilith said.

“Mmm… I don’t want anyone else,” Isaac mumbled, and it dawned on me that he was awake. Awake and sleepy and adorable and I… couldn’t hold him, or stroke his hair away from his face, or place a hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat, or… I’ve got to try and forget for now. There would be a better time, when it was just the two of us, to think about something like this. Even this topic was a bit too sappy to discuss with Lilith but the whiskey and emotions wanted me to just talk, and my only thoughts revolved around Isaac. 

“Go back to sleep, darling,” I told him softly, knocking my knuckles against the metal door gently. 

“My back hurts,” he groaned, shifting around on the concrete floor. 

“I know, I know, you’ll be okay if you just rest,” I assured him. 

“Would you be willing to drink some water?” Lilith offered. She could probably tell he was drunk and water was definitely a good idea. 

“I can try…” he trailed off. I moved to stand up and my legs shook a bit, the blood rushing back into them. 

“I’ll go get that for you,” I told him, rolling my shoulders back. My joints cracked a little bit as I did so. 

“You sure? I can go get it,” Lilith mentioned. I held a hand up to her. 

“No no, it’s fine. I’ve gotta stretch my legs anyways.” With that, I headed down the street and took a breath of the cool spring air. I felt oddly calm, somehow. Maybe I was too tired to be upset and worried. I walked into the bar down the road and shuffled through the dark room, avoiding tables and chairs. Once I went into kitchen in the back room, I flailed my hand around above me until I found the pull string for the light. The bulb turned on and stung my eyes a bit as they adjusted to the light. 

I went into the fridge and pulled out the pitcher of boiled and filtered seawater, finding a glass to pour it into. It was a small glass, since I knew Isaac wouldn’t be able to drink a lot. I worried he was getting dehydrated. In fact, I knew he was. 

I picked up the glass and turned the light off before carefully escaping from the maze of the building. I took a sip of the water and found it to be very refreshing. I didn’t even realize I was thirsty. When I looked back at the cup I found that I’d emptied it. 

“Fuck,” I mumbled, turning 180° and walking back into the bar. I repeated my steps and this time I actually got the glass back to Isaac and Lilith. I fished in my pocket for the key to the door and I handed it to Lilith, along with the glass of water. She watched as I took a few steps back and gazed into the sky. 

“Alright Isaac, back up from the door so I don’t hit you,” she warned, plugging the key into the lock. I heard the door open behind me and I resisted the urge to run over, push past her, and grab Isaac as tight as I could. “Here, drink slowly.” 

I hope Isaac understood why I couldn’t look at him. Of course he must, he’s smart. He probably isn’t looking at me either. I waited until the door closed and Lilith beckoned me back over. She sat the half-full cup down on the ground next to the discarded gun, whiskey bottle, and eyepiece.

I sat down where I had before and took the scrap metal ring in my hands. It had a rather sharp edge along the part of the ring that connected to the red, opaque plastic and I wondered if it ever bothered Isaac. Surely not, he could fix it easily if it did. He’s had this for ages anyways, and never added anything new to it. It was the same exact eyepiece he’d made all those months ago. I was right, red really did suit him. 

I shifted awkwardly and tried to get comfortable, but to no avail. I ended up laying down on the cold concrete, my head near Lilith’s leg. She patted my shoulder and slid down so only her shoulders and head were against the metal door behind us. She let out a long sigh and watched idly as I ran my hands around the metal ring I was holding. 

“Isaac?” I asked quietly, my eyelids drooping closed. I rolled onto my side so my face was right near the door. I was never able to sleep on my side before, but I could do it now. I had to, I had to stay as close as I could to Isaac. 

“Hm…?” He mumbled, clearly right on the other side of the door. He must’ve only been a few inches away from me. 

“You okay in there?”

“Could be worse. I’ll be alright, don’t worry,” he assured me tiredly. “Now, we both need to sleep. Lilith’ll keep watch.” I looked up at said woman and she nodded slightly, a little smile touching her face. 

“I love you,” I reminded him, sleep pulling at my mind. My fingers closed tightly around the eyepiece in my hand. I reached up with my free hand and laced my fingers through the chain around my neck. I slid my fingers down the cool silver until I reached the ring that the chain was looped through. I pressed my palm against the ring so it pressed against my chest. 

“I love you too. Now sleep, please,” he said, clearly begging to sleep himself. I let out a long breath and closed my eyes for good this time. 


	9. Fire Rises From the Ashes

_ Lilith Cronan, 1 week later. _

“What?” I asked when I noticed the scrutinizing look I was receiving. It was from Sai, which caught me off guard. He’d always been pretty nice to me up until recently, which begs the question — what did I do? I raised my hand up to my eyes to shield them from the bright sun, but it filtered through the gaps in the metal armature and still made it hard to see. I felt my shoulders tense up a bit at Sai’s angry gaze. 

“What did he say to you?” My jaw went slack and I raised an eyebrow at him, completely confused. 

“Who?” 

“Isaac,” he said like it was obvious.  _ What? Isaac hasn’t spoken in days.  _ “What did he say to make you like him so much?”

“Pardon?” I adjusted my rifle hanging over my shoulder and couldn’t help but scowl back at him. He scratched his beard out of agitation. 

“And Leo, too. They’ve done nothing but cause trouble recently, and yet you still stand by them.” Why was he asking this? This is completely out of nowhere. There’s been radio silence from both Isaac and Leo all week, so why did he suddenly think now was a good time to antagonize me? Especially considering those two are incredible guys and there is no possible way I’m in the wrong. 

“They haven’t caused any trouble. Haven't caused  _ you  _ any trouble, at least,” I pointed out bitterly. I widened my stance to hopefully seem a bit more intimidating. “In fact, last I checked there’s a certain robot wandering around the edges of camp protecting us and giving me a break. And let me think, where exactly was Leo yesterday? Oh yeah, a mile away bringing medical supplies back for Todd. What’s your fucking problem?”

“...right. Well, sure, maybe they’ve helped out a little bit, but now Leo’s impossible to deal with and Isaac could kill us all. They’re causing everyone stress,” he claimed. Behind him the shadow of another person who was walking past paused and turned to look over at us. I couldn’t see them because of the blinding sunlight. 

“Did I just hear what I think I did?” Ugh, it was Destiny. Y’know, I suppose she isn’t so bad compared to everyone else at the moment. She appreciated Leo and Isaac still at least. Or she was too much of a coward to voice her concerns. “You oughta stop bringing those two up. It isn’t any of our business anymore.”

“I’m just upset that we’re spending resources on feeding them each day and they’re barely contributing anymore,” Sai mentioned. I opened my mouth to argue but I couldn’t be bothered to repeat what I’d already said. 

“What?” Des began but I just shook my head at her. 

“Don’t even try, he’s helpless,” I sighed. I took a step toward her and she began walking away from Sai, beckoning me after her. 

“I know I’ve done some shitty stuff to both of them before but they sure as hell don’t deserve all of this,” she said guiltily, raking a hand through her chestnut coloured hair. 

“We can at least agree on that.” We walked down to the water, my boots slipping once we got off the pavement and into the sand. I let out a long breath and dug the toe of my once white boot into the wet sand. “Damn us. We shouldn’t have brought Carson back in the first place.”

“We should’ve kicked him out as soon as we realized he was causing Isaac problems,” she decided, but it was far too late for that. 

“Knowing him, Isaac probably wouldn’t have let us,” I chuckled weakly. In the back of my mind I could hear a voice saying  _ ‘remember, she shot you, you hate her,’  _ but I ignored it for a moment. I was just glad we were having a normal, genuine conversation. 

“Fair, fair,” she laughed along with me. “Too good of a heart, that one.”

“You’re telling me.” I smiled fondly as I thought about the day I met all of these people. I’d been shot and none other than a man who looked like he’d crawled out of a pit of saw blades was right there to help me, to bring me as far away from that place as we could get. I finally escaped the purgatory that was being a guard and found real purpose here. 

Not to mention, Leo’s also saved my life before. I don’t remember a lot of it, but I know he and I had been out exploring the area and got ambushed by an Afflicted. I ended up with a nasty scratch on my hand by the time Leo had shot the poor bastard. We both knew it was infected so we managed to come to an agreement that, yep, the arm needed to go. I don’t remember the process thankfully but he sawed it off with Isaac’s old hunting knife and he carried me back here to Todd. 

“Oh, there you are,” a soft voice said behind us. I turned to see the sorry sight of Leo standing up the hill from us. What interested me was that his goggles sat on his head now and he wore his nickel-free bracers. He seemed ready for an adventure for the first time in a long while. “I’m gonna go see if the Anarchists have any work for me, you should come.” 

“You seem rather peppy,” I mentioned, smiling a bit. I was glad to see that he didn’t appear drunker than a sailor. Or drunk at all, for that matter. He almost had a determined spark in his eye. “But yeah, ‘course I’ll come with you.”

“I’ve gotta distract myself somehow,” he explained vaguely, nodding for me to follow him. I heard Des follow behind me as I scaled the hill and followed Leo down the cracked road. There had been quite the earthquake a few days ago, which had left not only our base, but the whole city in even more disarray. We’d probably faced the worst of its effects though, considering we’re closest to the ocean, but thankfully there was no tsunami wave to devastate us all. 

“Can I come?” Des asked eagerly, but Leo shook his head. 

“Sorry, but I’d actually like you in particular to stay,” he told her kindly. “I don’t trust that these bastards won’t take the chance to put a bullet through Isaac’s skull, so could you just make sure nothing happens? Please?” He got desperate by the end of his request, and I could tell he was truly worried. I couldn’t really blame him, to be honest. I didn’t trust anyone here either. 

“Yeah, ‘course. Go have some fun out there,” Des said, patting Leo’s shoulder gently. He pressed his lips together and looked down. 

“Fun is the last thing I want to have right now,” he mentioned sadly, scratching his arm above his bracer. 

“Oh, sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Leo assured, nodding to confirm his feelings. “It’s just that… well, I don’t really want to have fun without Ize, you understand. I’ll save that for when he’s better and he can enjoy it too.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” I commented, tilting my head a bit. He huffed out a breath and the tiniest hint of a smile touched his lips. 

“Right. Let’s head out, then.” Leo turned and walked down the road, towards the factory. I nodded to Des before following him along silently, like I was his personal guard; his guardian angel. I  _ would _ protect him to the death, so I suppose it’s fair to see us like that. “So yesterday when I was down at the Syndicate, Mark mentioned that apparently that earthquake the other day caused some gas lines down by the Ashworth residence to burst and that it’s the perfect opportunity to lay waste to that place.”

“Wait, we’re gonna go commit arson?” I was a bit surprised at how entertaining that sounded. “That sounds like fun, y’know? And you’re against that at the moment.”

“Oh, hopefully you’ll have fun,” he began. He looked down at his gloved hands for a moment. “It’ll hurt like a bitch for me though. Some good memories of Isaac and I… I’d just like to see the building one last time before it’s gone, is all.” I didn’t respond to that, but I thought it was charming that Leo was so… sentimental, at least when it came to Isaac. 

When we passed the factory, I stayed at the road while Leo jogged up to the locked metal door. He placed his hand on the door and rested his forehead against it for a moment. “I’ll be back soon, I promise. Try not to get too lonely.” No response, to Leo’s never ending dismay. He pat the door gently before sighing and turning to me. 

We didn’t exchange any words as we walked to the edge of camp, finding the surveyor idling by the gate. Isaac had left a small list of commands that the surveyor would respond to, but we’ve only been telling it to monitor the borders and return to its docking station in the workshop to be refueled. Nobody wants to accidentally fuck it up, despite most of the camp’s dislike of the man who fixed up the robot at the moment. 

Now that I think about it, all of those people — Sai, Roma, Robbie, Jean, and Des (somewhat, she seems to be coming around,) — are screwing themselves over by having such a poor disposition towards Isaac. Why, when he’s better, would Isaac want to help these people? I won’t be surprised if he and Leo decide to bail once Isaac’s in good enough condition to, and I’d happily join them. I bet Michael and maybe even Anthony would too. They were both pretty nice to be around. 

I’m not entirely sure what had happened, but Michael used to be quite the dick to me. Then, one day, just nothing. In fact, he started being nice, not only to me, but to Isaac and Leo. I wonder what someone had said to him, but his immediate change in behaviour made it seem like he’d been threatened. Not to mention, he practically stepped down from giving out orders and Leo just naturally took over. Or maybe it wasn’t natural, maybe it was him who told Michael off. But surely he would’ve told me? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I’m just curious. 

Leo used his keys to unlock the gate at the edge of camp, but paused as it swung open. He looked over at me, then down at the keys in his hands. It was actually two sets of keys looped together by their key rings. He used his teeth to pull the ring open and he separated the keys. 

“Here. No sense in me keeping two sets, seeing as Isaac won’t be using his any time soon,” he said, handing me the keys. Oh, I remember now. Whenever we went out scavenging or exploring, we’d have to find either Leo, Isaac, or Michael so they could unlock the gates. I slipped the keys into my pocket, but kept my fingers closed around them. 

“Thank you,” I spoke with a smile. “I’ll keep them safe.” He chuckled weakly. 

“You do that.” He almost sounded sarcastic, but I could tell there was a hint of… pleading? Like he needed me to keep these keys in perfect condition so they could go right back to Isaac when he was ready. 

Leo turned and walked through the gate, leaving me to lock it behind us. Once the three large locks were latched shut, I turned and picked up my pace to catch up with him. I avoided the rubble littering the road as I scanned the area. 

“Wow, this looks like even more of a hell-hole than it did before,” I mentioned, wandering over to the side of the road where a familiar rusted SUV had been crushed by the caved in wall of a nearby building. I’d gotten to know this area damn near perfectly during the months I spent sitting in the building just inside the gate with a tranquilizer gun, but it looked nothing like it used to now.

“At least there wasn’t a lot of damage to the camp itself,” Leo pointed out. He pulled his goggles down over his eyes and his hair flailed out in a poof of curls, no longer withheld by the tight leather straps of his eyewear. His hair was beginning to get a bit overgrown, since he only really liked to let Isaac take a pocket knife to it. Not to mention, I never really thought he’d be able to grow a beard but he’s got the beginnings of one growing out. Again, the lack of self care. “Sai and Roma are good for one thing,” he mumbled. 

That was a fair enough point. They might be backstabbing assholes who turn their backs on their friends as soon as they face hardships, but at least they held up their end of the work around camp and did their best to keep the area structurally safe. 

“Hey, remind me if I’m wrong, but the Anarchists are hold up in the old Samsung building right?” He nodded to confirm. “Right, so… isn’t that building made of glass? Surely it ain’t very stable for earthquakes.”

“Actually it’s been fine for years. I mean it was built with the knowledge that we get earthquakes sometimes, so it's pretty secure,” he explained. 

“Oh that makes sense,” I commented. We fell silent after that, simply navigating the streets and observing the damage to the already fallen city. We could hear a few Afflicted trapped in a collapsed building, but we guiltily moved passed without being able to offer help. We both recognized that those were people, and I’m sure Leo felt a special kind of hurt knowing that, if Todd took long enough with a cure, Isaac would be like those mindless zombies. He probably already was, but we didn’t want to admit that. 

I started to feel a little hungry once we were only a few streets away from the Anarchists’ headquarters, seeing as it was getting relatively late and I hadn’t eaten since noon. “It’s gonna be a bitch to get home,” I mentioned as Leo boosted me over a large pile of rubble that had fallen onto a rusted moving van. The debris and abandoned cars blocked the whole road, but I think that was done purposefully. The cars were, at least. I think the military might’ve used it as a blockade when the breakout first started. “It’ll be dark by then.” 

“Well, assuming you aren’t opposed to the chance of encountering rotting corpses,” he began, but he paused as he grabbed my hands. I hauled him up onto the roof of the van. “We can catch the body transferring train, it brings us pretty close to home.”

“Ehhhh… I think I’ll pass on that one,” I chuckled, wincing a bit at the thought of everything that entailed. “Surely the Anarchists will just let us spend the night, no?”

“You can stay if you want to come back in the morning,” he told me as he hopped off the van and onto the other side of the blockade of rubble. “But I’ve gotta get back tonight.”

“Right, of course,” I remembered, “I’ll escort you then, make sure you get back in one piece. The dark won’t be that bad.”

“Thanks. The company will be nice.” We finally approached a large plaza, where I could see the tall, glass sky rise reaching up to touch the pink clouds. It glittered in the setting sunlight, giving off an almost surreal energy. Like Leo had said, the building was in surprisingly good condition for being made of mostly glass. Just a few shattered windows from what I could see. 

Leo lit a cigarette as I followed him up to the front doors of the building, where two Anarchists stood guard. I never expected them to constantly wear gas masks. “‘Ello sir! Been a long time since you came around,” one of the guards greeted happily. Leo offered a small little smile and nodded as a hello. 

“Heard something about a plan to burn down the Ashworth residence tonight,” he began, taking a drag from his cigarette. “Mind if we join?” 

“‘Course not! Go on in and talk to Jack, he’ll give you the details.” Leo nodded for me to follow him into the building, and I stuck close to him as we made our way up a few flights of stairs. I was surprised at how many people were here. At least 50 from what I’d seen, but surely there were even more. The way Leo spoke about the Syndicate also made it seem like there were quite a lot of people there, too. It’s crazy, how I spent years being a guard, working for the government, and yet nobody ever found anyone out here. 

We reached the 5th floor and Leo led me through a typical office space. Honestly, it was the most normal looking place I’d seen in ages. That’s not an insult towards our base, but it had become a little eccentric there, for lack of a better term. Not to mention, the people in our camp were pretty strange too. These people… they were normal. Normal citizens. We had a gang member, a poor soul who’d lost his mind, and a robotics genius at our disposal, just to name a few. And me, even. I went from a loser who was only into playing the trumpet in highschool, to being thrown in a quarantine zone, to becoming a guard, to finally becoming a rebel. 

“Hey Jack,” Leo greeted as we reached the back of the room, where a large desk sat. On the wall there was a large, fully detailed map with sticky notes littered all over it. In front of it stood a rather scrawny man with black hair and a short black beard. He turned and smiled as he saw Leo. 

“Ah, long time no see,” he said, walking over to us. He nodded to me and I returned the gesture. “Come to cause some trouble?”

“You know it,” Leo chuckled weakly. I knew that would get to him, seeing as everyone always saw him and Isaac together as the troublemakers. “This is Lilith,” he continued, gesturing to me. “Lilith, this is Jack. He runs this place. Or, well, as best as you can run a bunch of arsonists.”

“Nice to meet ya,” Jack said. He turned his attention back to Leo. “How’s Isaac been faring? I heard what happened, my Anarchists who had found him seemed pretty worried.” There was a long stretch of silence and Leo pressed his lips together. 

“He’s… he’ll be okay,” Leo mumbled. He pressed his palm to his chest gently. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“I understand. I won’t bring it up again, I apologize.”

“You  _ don’t _ understand,” he cut in bitterly. He caught on his words and looked down miserably. God, the poor bastard. Just a single mention of Isaac’s condition and he falls apart. I can’t blame him. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I — give me a distraction, it’s why I’m here.” 

“Here, let me get you two some gas masks and a few molotovs. We’ll head out as soon as it gets dark,” Jack changed the subject. He walked past us and we followed him down a few levels. 

“Oh, did Billie ever find that Uranium Processor?” I frowned a bit in confusion. We had a Uranium Processor, and clearly these people didn’t. They didn’t have the building powered, at least. Leo made eye contact with me in a way that made me think  _ oh, we have it. We have the one he’s talking about.  _

“No, sadly not. She searched that building for a good hour, avoiding alarms and stuff that apparently you and… that you set off,” Jack said, dancing around his words a bit. Leo pressed his lips together tightly. I knew he was a bit offended that Jack wouldn’t even recognize that Isaac existed now, but he was at least trying. 

“Yeah, that was our bad,” Leo mentioned, taking a long breath. He finished off his cigarette that he’d clearly forgotten was hanging between his fingers and had burned down to the end, putting the remaining end in his pocket. “The alarms, I mean. Accidentally tripped one on the top floor.” 

“Right, that’s okay. I didn’t expect everything to go perfectly anyways, but Billie was pretty upset that you had caused problems,” Jack commented. He adjusted the sleeve of his black long sleeve shirt. 

“Yeah, um…” Leo began, “think you could keep her away from me? She doesn’t like Isaac and I know she’ll say some stupid shit about him.”

“‘Course I can.” We entered a large room that had been retrofitted into some sort of supplies room. Jack led us over to the left side of the room where a bunch of gas masks hung on the wall. He tossed one to each of us. 

“What, are you planning on sending us into the building?” I asked, examining the black mask. 

“It’s more to hide your identity than anything,” he explained. I suppose that’s a decent reason. I mean there are a lot of government officials out there searching for even a single Anarchist. 

Leo wandered a few steps away and looked out the huge window across the room. It looked out onto the street and the buildings across from it which also looked in surprisingly good shape. “Has it occurred to you that this could be a huge government ploy to bait a bunch of Anarchists out?” Jack turned to look at the shorter man, opening his mouth to speak. He shut his mouth and thought for a moment. 

“My men are smart, they could outrun a group of soldiers.”

“You know they’re dead set on finding your people, Jack,” Leo reminded in a monotone voice. “I’m not saying we shouldn’t go, but be aware that there’s a chance we could be marching right into a turret.”

“Huh… I see why the Syndicate likes you,” Jack chuckled. Leo frowned a bit and turned to him. “You take in the whole picture. I must admit, I’m a tad ashamed I didn’t think of the danger surrounding this.” 

“I haven’t done a job for the Syndicate for ages. Makes me wonder why they even help me out anymore,” Leo thought, clearly getting a bit confused at the realization. 

“Maybe they trust in Todd’s ability to make a cure?” I suggested. Leo shook his head. 

“They’ve got doctors. Speaking of which, you should help me convince him to work with the Syndicate, ‘cause, y’know, we need that cure asap.” 

“What, he’s against it?” I was a little surprised. Surely Todd knew that any help was good help. There’s a reason why his one man team hasn’t made much progress over 4 years of trying to create a cure. 

“One, he doesn’t trust ‘em. Two, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s a tad… headstrong, for lack of a better term,” he explained vaguely, “like he doesn’t want to share the victory of creating a cure.” 

“Well that’s stupid,” I mumbled, tucking the gas mask I held under my arm. Jack moved over to a group of Anarchists surrounding a pile of crates. 

“Throw together two extra bags of molotovs,” he told them quietly before returning to us. “Don’t take offence to this, but you’re sounding especially… intelligent, today. Observant.” Leo snorted slightly. 

“I’m making up for the lack of brains in my life at the moment,” Leo said, a sad little smile touching his lips. “I want Ize to come back and think ‘wow, fuck, he’s smart now.’” 

“Leo, man, you know he thinks you’re a clever bastard,” I reminded him, but I worried for a moment that it would get the wrong kind of response. No, Leo was strong, and he liked talking about Isaac. In fact, a few nights ago, in a drunken state, he’d cried to me for hours, begging me not to let him forget about Isaac. Poor guy thought that was really possible. He wanted people to remember him. 

“I know…” he trailed off. He chuckled a bit and it instantly grabbed my attention. “Still not used to that, is all.” He reached up and touched his chest again. It was a gesture I’d never really seen him do before, but he seemed to be doing it quite commonly now. It’s like he was touching his heart whenever he thought of Isaac, and that was adorable. 

“Alright, well,” Jack started, “just waste an hour or so around here. We’ll gather everyone together come dark and we’ll head out.” He wandered away with purpose in his stride, probably going off to organize some plans or something. 

I followed Leo as he walked across the room to the large glass window he kept looking out. He moved to sit down on the tile floor and I sat down next to him, setting my gas mask on the floor beside me. He pulled his goggles off his eyes and placed them on his forehead where they typically sat. 

“Do they know about our surveyor? Maybe when Isaac’s better he could give them instructions as to how to do the same with other surveyors?” He raised his eyebrows and looked over at me. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it, taking a drag before answering. 

“That was the original plan,” he said, blinking slowly. “But Isaac ended up a bit turned around and forgot to write things down and now he’s sort of got to reverse engineer his own programming to figure out how he did it. He was telling me he just wanted to do it again on a new surveyor, do it right the first time instead of starting over halfway through. He’d also have all the time in the world to work on it.”

“Right, that makes sense. I’m sure he’ll remember the basics of how he did it the first time anyways,” I assured him, “he’s a smart man, he knows what he’s doing.”

“You’re telling me?” He looked down and smiled to himself. “Everything I’ve ever seen him do, whenever I watch him think, it’s like he calculates every outcome in his head before he does something. I want to be like him someday, y’know? Perfect in the most imperfect way.” He placed his cigarette between his lips and clasped his hands together in his lap, lacing his fingers between each other and squeezing the leather of his gloves gently. 

“I don’t know if you know it, but I think everyone wants to be at least a little bit like him,” I pointed out softly. He took his cigarette out from between his lips. “He was everyone’s favourite before all of this mess happened.”

“He never wanted that, y’know?” He closed his eyes and swayed back and forth slightly, getting lost in his own world. He tended to do that whenever he talked about Isaac and the man himself wasn’t around. “He's told me before that he only ever wanted my eyes on him, only cared that I thought he was amazing in every way.” He leaned forward and took an idle drag from his cigarette. The collar of his shirt dipped forward and his necklace fell out from underneath it. Attached to the silver chain was an expensive looking ring, one I hadn’t noticed before. He reached up with his free hand and closed his fingers around the ring. “I can’t believe he picked me. And I never will, for that matter. It’s all a fairytale to me.” 

“You proposed to him?” I clued in. Something in the back of my mind said  _ hey, they haven’t even known each other a year yet,  _ but I really thought that yes, that was the right choice. I’d never been too interested in love but what they had was purer than a child’s giggle. He smiled up at me and wiggled happily. 

“I did,” he said, like he couldn’t even believe it himself. “I really did.”

“Where’d you find the ring?” I figured every single piece of valuable jewelry would’ve been found and kept to sell for something else. Definitely not just sitting around where Leo might randomly come across it.

“In a furniture store near the highway when I went searching for Carson,” he told me, his eyes scrunching up at the fond memory. “Brought it back home, couldn't stop myself from giving it to him that night.” 

“I’ve never seen anything like what you two have,” I chuckled, watching him toy with the ring. He brought it up to his mouth and pressed a little kiss to it, probably hoping to telepathically communicate it to Isaac. 

“I wonder when my luck’ll run out,” he mentioned as he slipped the ring back under his shirt. “‘Cause I must have had the luck of a thousand men at this point.” I kept it in my mind, but I thought for a moment that maybe he’d gotten all the luck from every sorry soul out on the streets wasting away slowly. Then again, he only  _ thought  _ he was lucky. Luck didn’t bring Isaac to love him, and I’m sure he knew that. If you really thought about it, Leo wasn’t really all that lucky at all. He’s told me about a lot of shit he’s gone through in the past, and that wasn’t lucky. Even now, his purpose was to sit around camp all the time until we needed supplies, then he’d go out for a few hours and lug boxes back home. He’s also lost his best friend for the time being, which is awful for his mental state. He just thought he was lucky because he wasn’t used to being so happy. 

He dragged the end of his cigarette against the tile floor and put the end in his pocket before lying down. He put his forearm over his eyes and sighed. I shifted to turn my back to the window, instead looking around the large room. For the next long while, I simply observed the people in the area. Leo wasn’t asleep, just quietly… reminiscing, probably. He looked a little sad. It could be worse, I suppose. 

At some point an Anarchist came and set two bags down beside us, each filled with three Molotov cocktails. Or, well, the parts to them. The flammable rags were separate from the bottles, which were each capped off. There was a box of matches too. I’d never really played with Molotovs before but I’m sure Leo knew how to use them properly. 

Once it was pretty dark out, the energy around the building started to pick up and Leo and I made our ways down to the bottom floor. I followed his lead as he put his gas mask on just to blend in better with the crowd. His hair stuck out wildly from where the straps of the mask pushed the curls up. He’d looked pretty damn cute if he wasn’t so sad looking behind that mask. His shoulders hunched forward a bit too. Clearly the long stretch of silence gave him too much time to think. 

We joined the large group near the front doors and Jack managed to pick us out in the crowd. At first I didn’t recognize him past his own mask, but his voice made me remember. “You two should stick with me,” he said. I mean, I wasn’t against it, but I’m not sure why he thought we needed to be around him. Maybe he just wanted us to get home safely or something. 

It was raining a bit outside, but just a drizzle. Jack directed groups of about ten Anarchists to split up and take different routes to the street we were headed to. I wasn’t familiar with the area, but it seemed like Leo was. He took just Leo and I with him, making us the smallest group. A few Anarchists looked over at us like they didn’t trust us with their leader. 

I tapped Leo’s shoulder to grab his attention. “So how do you guys know each other?”

“We met in grade school but didn’t really talk until long after I joined the Syndicate,” Leo explained softly, like he wasn’t sure he could talk. “We caused some trouble together a few years ago, that’s why the Anarchists and the Syndicate work together sometimes.”

“Sometimes being the key term,” Jack cut in. I noticed he walked with rather lazy and loose movements, as compared to Leo’s tired yet stiff ones. 

“That’s ‘cause I told them all you suck at giving head,” Leo chuckled, resting his hands in his pockets. “Which is true.” 

“That was years ago,” Jack laughed with him. 

“Damn, you’ve clearly changed a lot,” I pointed out. I tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear. “Sounds like you used to run around a lot.”

“‘Course I did,” he laughed softly, “it was my only source of happiness back then, really. What else was I supposed to do to pass time anyways?”

“Also, no wonder I’ve heard Isaac chat shit about Jack, he can probably sense you’ve got a past,” I joked. 

“Isaac doesn’t like me?” Jack almost sounded offended. He probably didn’t like the idea of his main connection to the Syndicate’s boyfrie —  _ fiancé —  _ hating him. 

“Well, you pissed him off a bit back when we first came down here,” Leo said plainly.

“How? What did I say?” 

“I think he was trying to tell you not to send Billie to the Ashworth residence with us, that risking her life to find a Uranium Processor wasn’t worth it. You wouldn’t listen.” Leo seemed a tad nervous talking about it, but I think it was only something I was picking up on. It was nearly undetectable to me, and I knew Leo’s emotional ticks well. Better than most, I’d say. 

“Y’know why I wouldn’t listen, Leo?” Jack’s sudden change in emotion caused me to unconsciously grab onto my rifle’s shoulder strap. Just in case. He turned quickly to look Leo in the eye through the glass eyes of his mask. “Because I’m not stupid. We needed that Uranium Processor.” Jack grabbed a fistful of Leo’s shirt, but he faltered as he felt the end of my rifle press into his hip. Everything was silent for a long moment, just the muffled hiss of our breathing apparatuses and the quiet raindrops hitting the asphalt. Jack sighed and let go of Leo. I lowered my gun in response. “You’re lucky I like you. Fair is fair. You and your friend got to it first, and I can’t argue with that.” 

“What can I say? Once a conman, always a conman,” Leo chuckled, smoothing down his shirt. He seemed unphased. “And that applies more to Isaac than me.”

“And I didn’t tell anyone that I knew you had it,” Jack admitted. He seemed to soften up a bit. We continued walking along. “Because I know you’re good with people. You’re good at leading. And if you’ve conned your way into being my number one recommended leader, sobeit.”

“ _ What? _ ” Leo almost sounded baffled. Almost. I could tell part of him was glad he’d snaked his way into another position of power. And I had to admit, I was glad. There were… what? 11 of us? 12 maybe? Having another… what?  _ 100  _ people working for the same cause would be game changing. 

“It’s true.”

“Well. Don’t die yet then. I’m too busy wallowing in pain to deal with an army of angry rebels.”  _ Leo…  _ I hated that he was in pain. He was my best friend, and he didn’t deserve it. I’ve already gone over how I feel about his situation too many times, it hurts my brain at this point. There was no response from Jack as he continued down the road. Leo looked to me for a moment, and past his mask I could see the weight in his eyes. I think he wanted to say something, but figured I already knew. He dragged his feet as he turned and followed the Anarchist leader along. For a moment I wondered how his worn down, grey Converses weren’t falling apart at the seams. Even my boots were getting in pretty rough shape and they were work regulated; made to last. 

I was tempted to reach up and rest my hand against Leo’s back, but I knew that would probably make things worse. He only ever stood close enough to Isaac to be in touching range, and usually sent a glare to anyone who so much as elbowed him jokingly or brushed against him accidentally. He’d always been like that with everyone but Isaac. It wasn’t something I completely understood — being practically allergic to touch but when it comes to Isaac it’s nothing but tight hugs and arms around the shoulders or waist — but I wasn’t going to ask. Or care, for that matter. What kind of asshole would see that someone doesn’t really like to be touched by anyone but their significant other and tell them they’re weird for that? It’s none of my business what Leo feels comfortable with.

I looked up at the dark grey sky covered with storm clouds and hoped the rain wouldn’t get too bad. I doubt it would impede a gas fueled fire, but I didn’t want to have to escort Leo him me in both the dark and the rain. Not to mention, it’d be a pain in the ass to climb some of the roadblocks in the streets while they’re wet. I also didn’t want Leo sitting out in the rain all night so he could talk to Isaac. Last thing we needed was Leo with the flu. 

The walk to the fabled Ashworth Residence was quiet, but energy buzzed in the air. The few other groups of Anarchists that were on the same street as us chatted together excitedly as Jack turned to Leo and I. 

“Alright, just find a sheltered place a decent ways away from the building,” he explained briefly, “just in case there’s an explosion. Try to stay hidden.”

“Will do,” Leo spoke quietly, looking down at his reflection in a puddle. “Don’t come looking for us after, we’ll be heading back home for the night.”

“Okay. Don't get lost and stay safe,” Jack concluded. He fished into his bag and pulled out a Molotov cocktail before jogging away, toward the towering manor. 

“Here, I know where we should go,” Leo beckoned, leading me down the street and to the back of the building. We reached a menacing, ornate fence with spiked bars at the top but Leo proved it wasn’t all that complicated to get over uninjured, seeing as he could just grab on between the vertical posts and hang onto the horizontal bar near the top. He reached between the posts on the other side and boosted me up so I could get into the backyard with him. 

The glow from inside the manor reflected off the lenses of his gas mask and his goggles on the top of his head. Before I could gage the expression on his face, he turned to look up at a large, stained glass window on one of the upper floors of the building. It was quite beautiful, mostly reds and yellows with some sparkles of blue creating an intricate pattern. 

“It’s beautiful, don’t you think?” He reached up and pulled his gas mask off, letting the pastel coloured light caress his face. The light rain streamed through his hair and down his face, disguising any tears that could’ve been present. 

“Very much so,” I responded. He turned his gaze away from the window and looked at me for a long moment. His eyes were full of bittersweet melancholy. In the distance we heard a window shatter in the wake of an explosion and we knew our welcome had come to an end. 

I watched as Leo pulled a Molotov out of his bag. He opened the bottle and jammed a rag into the top, leaving the end hanging out, and took his lighter out of his pocket to ignite the end. He looked at the bottle for a minute and smiled softly. “You told me it’d be a shame when this window inevitably got broken,” he said to himself. He definitely wasn’t talking to me, so I can only assume his words were directed to Isaac. He took a few steps forward to build up momentum and threw the Molotov at the beautiful window. I shielded my eyes as it shattered into a million bits as the flame ignited the alcohol and the gas in the building. 

Leo handed me his lighter and the rest of his Molotovs, which told me his goal was complete. I watched for a moment as he wandered forward into the pile of broken glass at the edge of the building as I prepared myself another Molotov cocktail. He crouched down in the debris and fished out a palm-sized piece of red glass. He examined it before putting it in his pocket. He moved to stand behind me as I tossed my Molotov into a window on the first floor. It was actually extremely relaxing, in a way. Destruction at its finest. 

I faltered when I heard machine gun fire on the other side of the house. Leo dropped his gas mask on the cobblestone ground. “Fuck. Time to go,” he decided, grabbing my arm roughly. He dragged me over to the fence again and urged me over it quickly. The gunfire didn’t cease, but I could see the dark figures of Anarchists running away along the edges of the streets. “I told them! I told them, didn’t I? Told them it was probably a trap, and now look what mess we’ve gotten into.”

I boosted him up over the fence from the outside and he landed hard next to me, hissing as he hit the ground. He tried to stand up as best he could but he shook his head and clenched his teeth. “Shit. Here, I’ve got you,” I assured him as I dropped the bag of Molotovs I was carrying. I wouldn’t need them anymore. I threw Leo’s arm over my shoulder and he leaned against me awkwardly. 

“My ankle,” he groaned, hobbling along on one leg as I urged him forward. 

“Broken?”

“Hopefully not.” I got us to a relatively safe space between two buildings down the street and I felt along the wall with my metal hand, making sure there were no sharp extrusions. I leaned Leo against the wall when I found it to be smooth and I got him to lift his leg up for me. I couldn’t see in the dark, but I could probably feel if there were any broken bones. I rolled his pant leg up and squeezed his ankle gently with my flesh and bone hand. He kicked slightly and growled a bit. 

“Doesn’t feel broken,” I told him quickly, setting his leg back down. I supported his weight again and pulled him out of the alleyway. “I don’t know where we are, you’ve gotta give me directions.”

“Right… uhm,” he began, looking around in the slightly illuminated streets. The manor was now engulfed in flames just down the street. It served as a beautiful sight, that was for sure. “We’ve gotta go back that way. How about… keep going down this street and turn left at the next intersection. We’ll cut over a few blocks and then head back, put some distance between us and that turret.”

“What about the road blocks? You can’t climb like this,” I pointed out, leading him away from the manor nonetheless. 

“I’m not totally useless, I wouldn’t see why I couldn’t climb a couple feet,” he defended. Oh whatever, we’d figure it out when we got there. The rain fell harder now. Things were just getting worse and worse. Soon enough we’d get struck by lightning. I wished I was stronger for a moment so I could pick Leo up and carry him the rest of the way, but I knew he was too heavy for me. He probably wouldn’t make it easy anyways, I doubt he’d  _ want _ to be carried… but I feel like I owe him that much. I mean, he carried me all the way back to Todd that day I had my arm severed, and that wasn’t a short walk. 

“How could I let this happen?” I was more so talking to myself, but Leo was quick to answer. 

“You didn’t? You didn’t do anything, and we’re only here because of me,” he told me, a little bit of aggression in his tone. Maybe it wasn’t aggression towards me — in fact, it probably wasn’t — but it upset me. Leo had been nothing but sad and in so much emotional pain in the past month or so, and now this? Knowing him he probably wishes he convinced Jack not to come out here. Not to mention, Jack dying would be pretty bad for Leo’s sake at the moment. Jack was Leo’s friend, and the last thing he needed was more death and loss in his life. 

Leo mumbled street names to himself quietly as we traveled the rain-slick and crumbling streets. We had better not be lost because there isn’t really anywhere we can stay to see the light of tomorrow morning. An abandoned building? Nope, high chance we’d find an Afflicted. Alleyway? Same problem, plus the chance of being found by some not so kind people. Leo was unarmed and hurt, it was dark, the rain was loud… my head hurt. My head really hurt. I just wanted to close my eyes, drop Leo on the ground and run away into the darkness. 

...But Leo needed to get home. Leo needed to be sat against that factory door as soon as I could get him there, not just for his sake but for Isaac’s. I mean, we didn’t know if Isaac knew what was happening anymore, and the last thing we wanted was for him to feel abandoned. 

It was eerily quiet after maybe a half hour of walking, just the pitter patter of rain and Leo’s heavy breathing. He had started putting more weight on his ankle, so I wasn’t all that worried about him. What did worry me was that everything looked the exact same. Every building, every car, everything. Leo didn’t say anything about being lost though, and all I could do was trust him. 

I recognized where we were when we found a particularly tall roadblock, one that Leo didn’t seem too daunted by. He directed me to climb up onto the top of a crushed moving van and he hopped awkwardly to reach my outstretched hand. He hauled himself up with his honestly surprising amount of upper body strength, but the real problem arose when he went to jump down on the other side of the barricade. 

“Hm. Well this is kinda shitty,” he mumbled from atop a pile-up of cars. I had jumped down to the other side of the barricade and stood a good two or three meters below him. 

“I can try to catch you,” I offered, and he took a moment to think. 

“I can’t really see you.” I could just barely see his outline against the dark sky, but I’m sure I blended in with the pavement. I jumped up and slapped my robotic hand against the car he stood atop. 

“Sit down on the edge and slide down. I’ll be sure to catch you, I promise,” I assured him. I could hear him awkwardly move to sit on the car and I reached up and felt around until I could feel his leg. I tugged on his pant leg gently and he took a breath before sliding down. I supported his weight as best I could and he hit the ground far more gentle then he would have without me. “You good?”

“Yeah, thanks,” he mentioned softly. He brushed his pants off slightly even though all his clothes were soaked through with rain. “Let’s get home, it’s not far now. I need to make sure someone gave Ize some food.”

The trip back was quicker now, Leo seeming far more comfortable on his ankle now. I could tell he still had quite the limp but he was clearly dead set on getting home fast. It was late and I was both hungry and tired, so he was clearly in the same situation. He also needed Todd to take a look at his ankle but knowing him he’d never mention it. He wanted all of Todd’s focus on a cure and his ankle would definitely be a distraction, even if it wasn’t all that bad. 

Leo fumbled around with his keys to get the gate open, but once he could finally get through he was practically gone. I could hear him limp off quickly over the sound of the rain and I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. I used my newly aquired keys to lock the gate back up and I took my time looking for Leo. I think he had gone down to the bar to either check the time or see if Anthony was still awake. My best guess was that it was around 11 o’clock but I really had no idea. To be honest, I didn’t really trust Leo’s pocketwatch but it was the best gage of time we had, even with power. He assured me that he had wound it every morning for the past 10 years. 

I walked down to the hotel building and headed inside to my room. I quickly changed my clothes, climbing into some warm and dry sweatpants and a t-shirt. I pulled on a black cardigan overtop, grabbed an umbrella, and headed back outside. I found Leo exactly where I thought I would — sat in front of the metal factory door that separated him from the greatest thing in his life. He was talking to Isaac, never receiving a response but continuing on anyways. He didn’t pay me any attention as I silently walked over and held my umbrella overtop of him. 

I tried not to listen to his one-sided conversation with Isaac, but it was mostly Leo just retelling the day’s events and crying over how much he missed Isaac. What was most shocking was the loud  _ thunk  _ we heard from the other side. There were no other sounds, just that. Leo spent a good half hour trying to calm Isaac down but he didn’t sound agitated at all. Practically silent, other than the sound of his shoes dragging along the concrete floor. He was still alive, at least. 

I practically had to drag Leo away so he could get enough sleep to do the exact same thing tomorrow. 

_ Isaac Patel _

Quiet. So quiet. Too quiet. Need sound. Any sound would be nice. Nice? Being alone used to be nice. But now it’s cold and dark and silent. Laughter. Laughter was good. I wanted to laugh. But what makes me laugh? When was the last time I laughed? Can't remember. Never happened then. 

“Isaac?” Isaac. That’s me, I know that. But it doesn’t feel like me. Isaac, the boy genius who was always good in school. Isaac, the absolute dumbass who couldn’t pick between causing trouble and getting an education. Isaac, the man who has nearly died on numerous occasions throughout his nearly three decades of life. Isaac, the frenzied bastard who managed to program a surveyor for our own uses. 

“Well, Lil and I went down to the Anarchists’ today.” Anarchist. Anarchy? Are we in anarchy? I’m not good with law. Does that fall into law? Civics? Who cares? Who would ever fucking care? Why would I care? Government doesn’t even exist anymore. And when it did, it didn’t do much.  _ Oh? You’ve hacked into our databases? Go to the nicest, most beautiful prison for a few months, then go back to university and work for us.  _

The virus practically saved me. No more school, no more debt, no more rules, happy, good man, good good man, my man. Only had to worry about getting shot. Or stabbed. Or sick. God, I hope I don’t get sick. That would be very bad. Very very bad. No more Leo. No more Leo would be very bad. Wish I knew why I couldn’t see him. Wish I could tell him I miss him. But surely he knows what he’s doing? He’s so so  _ so  _ clever, he must be keeping me safe. I’ll wait for him, always waiting. 

“That earthquake caused some gas lines to burst down at the Ashworth residence, so we went and burnt the place to the ground.” Ashworth residence? Good place. Good for us. Uranium Processor. Happy Leo. Happy everyone. But also Billie. And Jack. Bad people. Both had had their hands on Leo. But Leo was mine? But Leo had a life of his own… a life without me before. So sad, he’d said. So sad and lonely before me. How dare I let him feel that way ever?

Pain. Bad pain. Bad bad bad everything hurt ouch mom please help me I miss you something isn’t right why won’t you sing to me anymore? Fingers hurt, bend in wrong ways. Tastes like iron. Hot iron. Why was there iron inside of me? Get it out get it out get it out out out out out —

“Ize, love? You okay in there? Sit down, you’re moving a lot.” Sit. Sit down. Yes, good boy. Good dog. Do as master says, don’t let him down. Ground cold. Ground hard. Why would Leo let me hurt like this? But he must know it’ll make me better. Leo knows best. Always makes me feel better. Knows how to make me happy. Why won’t he hug me? Warm hug, strong arms. Safe, so safe. Always safe. Safe from the dark. 

Why do the shadows move? There are no shadows. But they move. Move too much. No shadows with no light. But shadows? Shadows dance around me and poke me in the sides until I hurt too much to move. Why would Leo put them in here with me? They must be helping. Leo wouldn’t do anything but help. 

“There, nice and calm.” Calm? Yes, be calm. Must be calm, Leo says so. Itchy. Itchy arm. The shadows poke me but I must be calm, must be still. Scratch. Scratch, please. Fingers burn, fingers hurt, fingers don’t work. 

Bones crumble. No bones. Bones? Inside me? Gross. Why do they sound so  _ loud?  _ Why are they taunting me? Get them out. Don’t belong. But bad pain. Bad bad pain. Leo said sit. Leo said be still. Leave the bones. If bones were so bad he’d get rid of them. 

God, what was that awful sound? The shadows tap on the walls, tap and tap and tap and no sleep never any sleep. Windows were breaking. Give me air, I’m running out. Can’t breathe, can’t feel. How do you breathe? Breathing burns calories, must keep calories. Breathing is a burden. Sleep is a waste. 

“Y’know that stained glass window you loved? I brought you back a piece.” Glass? Glass in my eye, tearing and scraping. But such a pretty colour. Worth the pain, worth the loss. Blue glass. Yellow glass. Red glass. Red red red glass. Red like tomatoes. Red like apples. Red like my hands, like my vision. Red like the hair wrapped between my fingers. Too tight, too tight, get it off, it stings. But too hard to grab. Too small. Fingers don’t work. Joints collapse under pressure. 

“You told me you’d hate to see that window broken. I hope you can forgive me.” Forgive? Always forgive. Forgive but don’t forget. Forget for Leo? Would Leo forget me? He promised he wouldn’t. Leo never lies. Not to me. Couldn’t lie about the small things, definitely wouldn’t lie about the big things. Leo loves me and I love him. Always forgive him. Would he forgive me for getting stuck in here? For leaving him alone out there?

“Do you remember when the power went out when we were in the Ashworth residence and you grabbed my hand?” Hands. Always the hands. His hands. His hands against mine, on my hips, on my back, everywhere they belonged. His hands weren’t like mine. Mine were boney and stiff and cold and clammy. My nails were gross. Always too short. Jagged and bleeding, bleeding, bleeding, so much blood on my hands, bursting from the cuts my bones made. Attacking from the inside. 

Leo’s hands were soft. Soft yet strong. Warm and comforting. Put his warmth into my body, get rid of the cold. Why would he ever want to hold my hands? Always touching me, keeping me close, even though I look like I’ve crawled out of hell. Leo looked healthy and strong and confident. But he called me his angel? He doesn’t even believe in angels. But he believes in me. Believes I’m as good as I possibly can be. Can't get better. But I want to be better? Maybe Leo doesn’t want that. Doesn’t want me to change. But Leo knows change is good, he isn’t stupid. Maybe he’s lying when he says I’m perfect? But Leo doesn’t lie. Leo is a liar but he doesn’t lie to me. Maybe he’s tricking me? But Leo wouldn’t trick me. Leo is a conman but he wouldn’t con me. 

“I barely even noticed, y’know? Then after the fact I felt so stupid for not savouring the moment.” Savouring the moment. That’s all we ever do, is savour the moment. Savour the other’s company. I’m savouring this moment. No other goodness in my life but Leo. I only ever wait for him to come and talk to me. Food wasn’t important. I didn’t need to drink anything. Just needed Leo. 

Why why why was this door between us? Open it! Open it and let me see your smile, your eyes. Let me through, let me hold, let me talk. The door doesn’t fight back. Doesn’t do anything. Sends the shadows after me, lets them chew on my fingers and bite at my legs. Everything hurts. Leo would make the pain stop. He tells me to sit down, to go to sleep. I have to listen, can’t say no. 

Close my eyes. Sleep is good for me. But dreaming is a flaw. My subconscious is weak. But Leo’s voice is so soft, so calming. “Sleep, my love, it'll all go away if you just sleep.” Go away. Yes, make the shadows go away. But Leo will go away too. I’ll dream about the shadows, not about Leo. But maybe I could dream about him… but dreaming is obsolete. Dreaming is a waste of my precious energy. But there could be a beautiful golden field in my dreams, beautiful flowers and a happy Leo. Leo, standing next to me, smiling wide. His freckled cheeks scrunch in joy. Maybe he’d drape his jacket over my shoulders and hold me against his side, stroking his hand up and down my arm. 

Or maybe we’d be in a nice, white tiled bathroom. Warm bath water, gentle hands scratching my scalp, soap bubbles being blown at each other. Quiet giggles and sighs of relaxation shared between us, maybe some pretty smelling candles illuminating the small room. The kids are asleep, tucked into their beds and night lights turned on. The dog’s been out and has taken up its spot at the end of our bed. It’s a Friday night, no work for tomorrow. Time just for us, for our beautiful family. 

I like that one. Dreaming isn’t obsolete tonight. Just for tonight. Leo will be back in the morning. Maybe I can tell him about my dream?


	10. It’s Always for Him

_Destiny Wilker, autumn 2158._

  
I tried my hardest to eat breakfast but, like every morning, I just felt so _uneasy._ It never felt right sitting at our table in the bar, Robbie across from me, without Leo and Isaac there. Even Robbie looked upset, and it had taken him quite a long time to understand why Leo was so upset and why Isaac wasn’t around anymore. 

Leo. He was out at the Syndicate right now, trying to keep himself busy with chores. His depression had really picked up when it started to get colder and autumn started to set in. He and Isaac had met last autumn, and I kinda figured he’d get worse this time of year. 

Isaac was… bad. Quiet, but violent. We had to bring a bright light to shine in his eyes when we brought him food and water. Not to mention, we never got anything we gave him back. Hopefully he wasn’t eating anything inedible. 

I looked up when the door to the bar opened and Lilith walked in. Y’know, I hate to admit it, but I like her. She was good. She cared about Leo and Isaac. She walked over to Robbie and I and leaned over to whisper to me. 

“We need to do something for Leo, I’m worried,” she said quietly. She grabbed my spoon out of my bowl of soup and took a bite. I was about to jokingly retaliate but no, now wasn't a time to joke around. “Anything, really. Just make him smile once, at least.”

“Absolutely,” I agreed immediately, “but… what? We can’t… anything that’ll remind him of Isaac is out of the picture.” She kept eating my soup which made me worry not only about Leo but about her too. Why was she so hungry? I’d seen her eat breakfast earlier… or at least she had her bowl with her when she’d gone down to visit Leo down by the factory.

“I was thinking we could go and pick up our supplies from the Syndicate for him next time,” she offered, crouching down next to the table. Her thigh muscles flexed under her tight, grey work-pants. She rested her head against the table and looked up at me. Her golden hair was a knotted mess. 

“Hmm… but he needs the fresh air and exercise.” 

“Yeah… but he’s always hammered and that’s not the safest,” she pointed out. He’d gotten exponentially worse since we heard that Jack had gotten gunned down halfway across the city. How he’d gotten there or why he was there in the first place was beyond anyone. I didn’t really know the guy but Lil had told me about how he wanted Leo to take charge of the Anarchists when he was gone. Nobody had come asking for help yet though, and Jack had been dead for a good week or so. Leo was probably dreading the day he had responsibilities again. 

The door to the bar slammed open and none other than Leo rushed in, a bit of a limp to his gate. He’d been like that since he messed his ankle up down at the Ashworth residence, and Todd blamed its severity at his lack of care for the injury. “Guys holy fuck, holy _fuck,”_ he said desperately. He looked up at me with… _hope. Hope in his eyes._ He stepped up next to Lilith as Anthony joined us by the table. Leo slapped a newspaper onto the table. 

Silence. 

Just silence. 

A sob. 

A gasp. 

_A CURE HAS BEEN FOUND, SEPTEMBER 12, 2158._

Lilith grabbed the paper and started reading aloud faster than I’d heard anyone talk before. “Doctors working in Norton University discovered a cure to the Affliction on Tuesday, September 12th. The cure is being mass produced and will be sent out to quarantine zones in the coming days. Doctors from the university say it also prevents future infection… blah blah blah… long live Norton… I — holy fuck.”

“Gather everyone up, I have to go tell Isaac,” Leo rattled off faster than a gun could fire. He spun on his heels and zipped out of the bar faster than I’d honestly ever seen him move. Lilith grabbed Anthony’s arm and dragged him along out of the bar as well. Robbie stared at me from across the table. 

“What’s… huh?” He looked lost. Probably too much energy and confusion for him to completely process. 

“A cure. For the virus. We’re… okay. We’re okay, Robbie.” I felt a tear slip down my cheek. Everything was going so fast. A cure. We’d been waiting… what? Five years? Six? And now it’s here? This must be fake. It has to be. I left my soup where it was and stood up, chasing after Lilith and Anthony. 

“Okay? Cure… for Isaac? Will we get Isaac back?” I turned before I reached the door. I smiled. 

“We’ll get Isaac back.” I beckoned him after me and headed outside into the cool morning’s air. Lilith must’ve gone into the hotel, but it didn’t take long for everyone to join us back outside. Leo came sprinting back to the centre of the base practically jumping with excitement. 

“I’m gonna get my fucking husband back,” he cheered in a sing-song voice. It warmed my heart to hear him say that. He’d told me all those months ago, before he and Isaac had even a glimmer of their future together in their eyes, that he was in love with Isaac. He wanted to be with him but had no idea how to go about telling him. And now here they are, practically married and dreaming of a white picket fence around their house and their future children playing in the garden. Sure, I’d been an asshole before because I was scared of what was happening with Isaac, and sure, Leo gave me a black eye because of it, but I still loved those two. They’re good people. I want to be like them someday. 

“Leo.” Todd looked upset. Serious. Too serious. No joy. The air buzzed with joy and relief from everyone, but not from him. 

“Oh good lord are you telling me your ego is so big that you’re not going to accept that someone else — a team of doctors with equipment and resources — beat you to the cure?” Leo’s enthusiasm dropped as Todd sighed and hung his head. 

“The cure isn’t for us,” he pointed out. Another stretch of silence; a bad silence. An uncomfortable silence. We were lifted up then dropped all the way back down. We were rebels. We were harbouring an infected. We weren’t paying our taxes. We weren’t working. In every way, shape, and form, we were criminals. 

“Shit…” Lilith trailed off sadly. She looked at the newspaper she still held in her hands. “We should’ve realized that…” I looked around at our shambles of a gang. 

There was Michael, our original leader, the man who brought most of us in and accepted our help. He looked on in despair.

There was Sai, the broken hearted, quiet man who had lost his wife during the first year of the Affliction. He looked on in anguish. 

There was Todd, the doctor who was slightly too headstrong and proud. He looked on in disappointment. 

There was Jean, the woman who claimed to be a therapist but had, in reality, only been to school for a year for psychology. She looked on hopelessly. 

There was Roma, the mechanic who had been escorted around by a tradesman for a few years and finally escaped to this junkyard. She looked on in desperation. 

There was Anthony, the aspiring chef with a heart of gold. He looked on in misery.

There was Robbie, the poor kid who’d found himself in a quarantine zone and ran off because it drove him mad. He looked on in confusion. 

There was Lilith, the former guard who had kindness shown to her and she gave it right back in return. She looked on in sorrow.

There was Isaac, our missing link and absolute genius, the man who made us believe in a future. We’d get him back, we’d make sure of that. 

...And there was Leo. Leo Smith. The misfit who gave us the means to survive. The cheeky bastard who had two gangs watching our measly little backs. The man who’d gone from kill-on-sight to refusal-to-kill. The same man who had never been all that interested in love yet now had the greatest man in the world sharing his heart and soul with him. 

Leo James Smith who looked on with… determination? _Determination._

“Lil, Des, pack your bags and grab your guns. I’ve got an idea.” Oh boy. What have we just gotten into? He turned to begin to walk away, but Lilith piped up. 

“You’re really willing to do that?”

“Do what?” Leo paused his walk but didn’t turn to look at the blonde girl. 

“I know you, Leo. You told me how terrified you were of quarantine zones,” she recalled. Oh? Was that really Leo’s plan? I thought he wanted to break into the university but… yeah, he’s not that stupid. But Lilith was right — Leo had a practically unspoken fear of quarantine zones. Couldn’t stand the idea of doing the same thing every single day. Hated the thought of having to work fairly for his money. Refused to accept that he’d be paid a dollar an hour at most. 

“I don’t ask that you go into the quarantine zone with me,” he said, sounding a lot more serious. “I just ask that you escort me. Union QZ will do. I’ll be there for a few days at most. Just have to sneak in and blend in. Mug someone for their sample of the cure.”

“It’s a one time injection, didn’t you read the paper?” Todd looked uneasy. _Very_ uneasy. I couldn’t blame him, really. If Leo was caught he’d be executed in the blink of an eye. 

“Mug a doctor. And admin. Anyone,” Leo decided. He finally turned to look at us. “I’ll figure it out or die trying.”

“For Isaac?” Leo smiled over at me in response. 

“For Isaac. Everything is always for him.” He pressed his palm against the ring hanging under the collar of his shirt. “Now, Lilith? Destiny? You with me or am I doing this alone?”

“You couldn’t stop me from coming if you tried,” Lilith agreed eagerly, “in fact I willingly volunteer to go into the quarantine zone. I can claim I was kidnapped.” 

“No, no, no, we’ll need that for later,” Leo declined, “besides, Ize is mine. He’s my responsibility and I’m dead set on being the one to save him.” Lilith sighed jokingly in defeat. Leo was so different than when I first met him. Give up his life for someone who seemed so unsavable? A year ago — Over his dead body. Now — So willing, so eager. 

“I knew you’d say that. And Des?”

“I’m by your side,” I decided at that moment. I hadn’t really even thought about it, but Leo was so dead-set on his goals. Not only that, but Isaac was my friend. I owed him this much. 

“Thank you,” Leo said honestly. He looked around at the silent crowd. “Well, if you have any objections, state your case.”

“This is a bad idea,” Jean began, but Leo cut her off before she could go into detail on what was very obvious. 

“Overruled — fuck you. Anyone else?” Everyone else backed down. They knew they were risking losing _four_ — Leo, Lilith, Isaac, and myself — of their most capable and intelligent friends. No, not friends. Coworkers? Yeah that’s more like it. Either way, they also knew, no matter what they said, that Leo would never back down. Lilith wouldn’t turn her back on Leo. I might’ve been awful to Isaac when he got sick but I’ve changed. I know what I did was wrong. The others knew this was my way of fixing that.

“What, you’re packing up and leaving right now? You’re drunk and can barely walk,” Roma pointed out, almost a tad condescendingly. She had always been so, so kind to everyone but she seemed very… angry about Leo’s very obvious alcohol problem. 

“Yes, we’re leaving now. We’ll swing back around to the Syndicate and pick up some extra stuff,” Leo explained briefly, “also, I’ll have you know that I’m sober and my ankle is in decent condition. Most I have to worry about is a headache.” Leo wasn’t stupid, like most people tended to think. Hell, I was guilty of thinking that too sometimes, but he was clever. He wouldn’t go out alone into the streets when his ankle was particularly bad and he was drunker than a sailor. He wasn’t asking to get killed. In fact, he’d made it very clear to Jean that his death was off the table, planned or not. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, time is of the essence.”

“You can’t just leave without a solid plan,” Sai claimed. Leo just snorted. 

“That’s never caused problems before,” he pointed out. He put his hands in his red, plaid jacket’s pockets and hunched over a bit. He was clearly itching to get going and I felt the same. “And I find it kind of funny that now you’re practically begging us to stick around when all you’ve done is shame us for, y’know, sticking by Isaac. Our friend, no? He was _your_ friend too, but you choose not to remember that.”

“That’s not —” 

“Stop.” Leo’s expression was blank but I could tell he was biting at the bit to dig his claws into Sai. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back if Sai started going on about how much he ‘cares’ about Isaac. No, we could very easily tell that he’d always been a tad jealous of Isaac. Sai, as our resident technician for years, had been outshined in the blink of an eye by Isaac. That probably explains Roma’s distaste for Isaac too. Isaac was a better mechanic than her, no doubt about it. They both seemed to think Isaac being here was all Leo’s fault, and therefore Leo was a bad person. Makes so much sense. Assholes. “Just stop.”

“Let me state my case,” Sai insisted, and Leo sighed out a growl, pulling his hands out of his pockets so he could thread them through his hair. His goggles that were still broken from when I’d gotten the shit beaten out of me by him months ago hung around his neck now. 

“Sai, if I started dragging your wife’s name in the mud I don’t think you’d be very happy,” Leo spoke lowly. I know he wouldn’t stoop that low; to speak ill of someone he a) didn’t know and b) wasn’t with us to defend herself. “You’re a smart guy. Stop treating Isaac like he doesn’t matter because it’s tearing me apart just like it would if we treated your wife like that.”

“Stop talking about her.”

“Will do. Y’know why? ‘Cause I respect how you feel and I understand that I have no right to talk about anyone but the assholes who keep talking about my best friend in a way I keep telling them not to.” Hell. Fucking. Yeah. Isaac would be so goddamn proud of him I swear. And what made that whole statement better? Leo still calls Isaac his best friend. That’s just so pure in my mind. “Anyways, fuck you all, and goodbye.” 

Leo disregarded any of the few protesting words and headed off towards the hotel. Lilith and I weren’t too far behind, and I couldn’t help but feel genuinely excited. It wasn’t very often I got out of the camp for a breather, let alone spend some time with Leo and Lilith. Not to mention the chance of getting Isaac back. I was desperate to apologize to him for everything that’s happened since I shot Lilith. Sure, Isaac had told me that he had learned to forgive me, but I had never quite repaid him for that. 

I yearned for the day that I could see Leo smile a genuine smile, full of pure joy, as he sat next to a happy and healthy Isaac. I think his lack of enthusiasm and energy around the camp was really what had everyone so uneasy. Maybe I’m just speaking for myself. 

Leo stopped us at the bottom floor of the hotel. “I’d say pack a couple of changes of clothes and… Lil, you’ve still got a stockpile of those sleeping darts, right? We could use those,” he suggested. Lilith nodded in agreement before he continued. “I’ll meet you two at the gate over that way.” He gestured behind him towards the gate opposite to the factory. It would take us in the direction of the Syndicate’s hideout. “I’m gonna grab some of Isaac’s old rewriting things, see if I can figure out how to make them work. Uhm… Des, can you run these over to Michael after you’re all packed?” He fished into his pocket and handed me a small ring of keys. Keys to the gate, I assume. Made me wonder for a moment why he must’ve had two sets of keys but whatever. 

“‘Course. Meet you out there.” Then, we all divided up to go scavenge through our belongings for what we might need. I pulled my backpack out of my closet, throwing in a few sets of warm clothes. I also grabbed the flashlight off the top of my rifle, but I left the gun next to my dresser. My gun wouldn’t fire sleeping darts. I tossed a hairbrush and a pocket knife into my backpack as well before I tossed it over my shoulder and headed back downstairs. 

The group of sad sights had dispersed and the center of the camp was now empty, which felt a tad surreal. Roma used to like working outside. Leo and Isaac used to be found sitting on the edge of the road right next to the beach during the evening. Michael usually spent most afternoons down at the shoreline fishing for dinner. From what I could see, he was nowhere to be found, so I popped into the bar to check around. 

“Just feed him every afternoon, that’s all I ask,” Leo said to Anthony as he packed a few bottles of alcohol into his backpack. He’d given up on trying to work odd jobs for more whiskey and now just drank what we’ve had in the bar for ages. I remember him always complaining about having to drink rum or vodka way back before Isaac was even a thought in our heads, but he’d clearly learned to not mind vodka because of Isaac’s tastes and just didn’t care about the taste of anything anymore. 

“I will, don’t worry,” Anthony assured him quietly, making eye contact with me across the room. 

“You should eat before we leave, Leo,” I piped up. I could tell he wasn’t eating much anymore, and that worried me. Especially now that we had a long trek ahead of us, he’d need all the energy he could get. He sighed but didn’t look up at me. 

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” he agreed reluctantly, reaching up to scratch his scraggly beard. Anthony’s expression lit up and he told Leo to stay right where he was while he grabbed him a bowl of soup from this morning. Oh. Oh I know what was happening with him and Lilith now — disappearing in the mornings with full plates and bowls of food and returning with nothing, yet still clearly being hungry. He chuckled weakly and turned to look at me. “I’ve been worried Isaac hasn’t been eating all of what we give him so Lil and I have been giving him ours just to make sure he’s getting _something_.”

“That’s very sweet of you but you’ve both gotta eat too.” He looked down and noticed the keys dangling from my hand, the key ring looped around my finger. He looked back up to my eyes. 

“Michael’s in the workshop grabbing those rewriting tools, go see him,” he practically ordered in the softest tone I’d heard from him in a long while. I wanted to stick around and watch with my own eyes to make sure he ate, but I could trust that Anthony would keep track of him. I nodded slightly, pressing my lips together, and headed back outside. I made my way next door and popped into the workshop through the open garage door. 

“Oi, Michael, Leo told me to bring you these,” I said once my eyes landed on the man. He turned but kept his gaze down as he placed a rewriting tool into a small bag, which clearly also held a few more of the devices. I’m not entirely sure why he was being so gentle with them, as I’d seen Isaac toss them around like they’re indestructible, but I’m sure Leo would appreciate the care in his actions. Leo was always careful with anything of Isaac’s. I mean, I’d watched him pull apart Isaac’s eyepiece so he could take the plastic lens out and replace it with a piece of glass he’d found somewhere, and he spent a good two hours slowly unscrewing screws and carefully, ever so carefully, bending the metal. He handled anything Isaac made with the same care as he would the man himself. Well, that is, other than when they were throwing each other around jokingly. 

I kinda missed watching them try to kill each other. A particularly vivid memory was of one in which Leo had practically jumped on Isaac’s shoulders because he claimed he ‘wanted to see what it looked like from a giant's perspective’. Of course, Isaac wasn’t too keen on throwing his back out and he practically launched Leo into the ground, but he was quick to practically baby Leo because he was worried he’d hurt him. Once he realized Leo was mostly unscathed, he started teasing him about how he must’ve felt at home so close to the ground. I don’t even know if they were dating at that point but it was pretty damn cute. 

“Bring them here,” Michael said, knocking me out of my thoughts. He had moved across the room to pack a few smoke bombs and an old can of probably expired pepper spray into the bag as well. I walked over and handed him the keys. He exchanged them for the bag. “Good luck out there.” 

“Thanks. Watch your back,” I responded. I peeked into the bag, noticing a particularly odd device I hadn’t seen before. It looked like a knife sharpener, but it had a button on the handle end. Must’ve been of Isaac’s making. 

“Trust me, I will. Leo threatened to kill me if anything happens to Isaac while he’s gone,” he told me with no humor in his voice. 

“Yeah, sounds like him,” I mentioned as I turned and left the workshop. Y’know, now that I think about it, Michael isn’t as bad as he used to be. I wasn’t a huge fan of him when I first showed up, and then Isaac and Leo’s distaste for him turned into my own distaste, but now he was seemingly a decent person. What had happened, I’m not sure, but I wasn’t complaining. 

I took my time heading over to the gate we were leaving through, even though it wouldn’t affect how long Leo would take to join us. I found Lilith sitting against the metal gate, messing around with a battery pack. 

“What’re you doing?” I asked as I sat down next to her. I leaned my head back against the gate and took a long breath, trying to figure out what was truly happening. I was still sure that the cure was a hoax. 

“Making sure these batteries are charged,” she explained, “I don’t want my hand dying on me.”

“Did Roma ever manage to fix it when it got that rain damage?” Lilith hadn’t noticed the damage at first, but she had started complaining that the robotic limb wasn’t responding immediately a few days after Leo had messed up his ankle. 

“Nope. Hey, at least I’m right handed,” she commented as she put the battery in her hand back into her backpack. I heard it clink against a bunch of other battery packs. She dug her flesh and bone hand into her hair and sighed. “I wonder what would’ve happened had I gotten sick.”

“Leo and Isaac would’ve taken care of you like you guys take care of Isaac now,” I immediately responded like it was obvious. I mean, surely she knew that. 

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” she chuckled weakly. She dropped her hand into her lap and hunched forward. “I’m kinda glad you shot me, y’know? I still hate you but I wouldn’t have met those two without you.” I knew she didn’t mind me anymore. In fact, I knew she thought of me as a friend, even if she wouldn’t say it blatantly. 

“I’m glad I did too, and I’d happily do it again,” I teased light heartedly, trying to brighten the mood. Her smile and shake of her head made my world light up a bit. She was happy, Leo was feeling decent, everything was okay for now. 

We both looked up when we heard the hissing of hydraulics and the _thunk_ of heavy rubber pads against the concrete near us. The mighty surveyor that had clearly been keeping any scavengers out waltzed towards us on its gangly legs, peering over the side of the gate for a moment. Once it had scanned the area, it continued on along its path, heading back towards camp. Leo passed it on its way back, and his look of pride said it all. 

I’d never seen him look at that surveyor like it wasn’t the most amazing machine in the world. He had never really been able to grasp the concept that _his_ Isaac was the one who was smart enough to do this. He’d asked me before why Isaac would ever choose to be with such a numbskull but there was an obvious answer to that and I think he knew it. He always had, in my opinion, but it just took some getting used to. His whole life he’d been seen as the dumbass and then this absolute genius shows up and tells Leo that he thinks he’s clever. That would probably send anyone’s heart racing. 

I honestly felt a little bad for being one of the people who thought Leo was genuinely dumb as a brick. I had just been listening to what other people say but he really wasn’t stupid at all. It’s a good thing Isaac showed up, not only for his sake but for Leo’s sake as well. For Lilith’s sake. For Robbie’s sake. For Michael’s sake. For my sake. For everyone’s sake. What does sake even mean?

“Can you believe that?” Leo asked as he neared us, pointing back over his shoulder at the surveyor. He seemed a lot more rejuvenated than before but that could be adrenaline. “Incredible. If Ize told me he could fly an airship I wouldn’t doubt him.”

“You’ve said that a million times,” Lilith chuckled, pushing herself up to stand. She brushed her pants off and stretched her arms up, groaning happily. “I mean, we could always bring it with us.”

“I’ve read the instructions Isaac wrote out a million times, he talks about how it might not work properly outside of its mapped out area,” Leo explained, scratching behind his ear. “We’ll also be gone longer than a day, so it’ll definitely run out of oil and I’m not too keen on lugging a bunch around with us.”

“Fair, fair,” Lilith responded. She pulled a ring of keys out of her pocket — visually the same as Leo’s set he’d given to Michael — and plugged them into the gate’s lock. Oh. Huh. I guess Leo trusted Lil enough with a set of keys to the base. I admit, I was a little jealous, but Lilith was trustworthy. She pushed the gate and held it open for Leo and I to walk through. She locked it behind us and Leo reached over to take the small bag of Isaac’s gadgets from me. He peeked inside and pulled out that funny, thin knife sharpener device. 

“Oh perfect,” he said to himself, turning the device in his hand. 

“What is it?” Lilith walked a little faster to catch up with us, looking at the little machine curiously as well.

“I’m not sure what Ize calls it but I’ve seen him use it a few times before,” he began, carefully dragging his gloved fingers along the metal. “You put it in a keyhole and press this button.” He pressed said button on the handle and a rectangle of thin metal popped out at the top along the side. “These little prongs come out, but only to fill up the keyhole. Works as a skeleton key.” He turned it between his fingers until the sunlight bounced off the metal. He smiled slightly before pressing the button again, the metal prongs (which I had at first thought were one solid piece of metal,) retracted. He didn’t return it to the bag he’d gotten it from which now hung around his elbow, but instead ran his fingers along the device ever so gently again. He fell silent for a long while, simply admiring the invention. It definitely looked like Isaac's handiwork. Maybe a little outdated compared to his work now, but definitely familiar. 

Despite not really paying attention, he led the way to the Syndicate’s encampment, clearly knowing the way like the back of his hand. The journey to the Syndicate wasn’t all that eventful, and Leo put away his skeleton key thing back into the bag of rewriting tools and knocked on the door leading into the Syndicate’s factory residence. 

“Name?” A voice on the other side of the door asked. 

“Leo James Smith.”

“What’s your favourite colour?” I chuckled a bit at the silly question but it seemed to have worked for as long as they’d been using it. 

“Blue. No, green, sorry,” Leo responded quickly. The door’s latch opened and he pushed it open before glancing back at us. “Wait here.” 

“Mark threw together a bunch of things you might need, go and see him,” the Syndicate member told Leo quietly. 

“I hate that he knew I’d be back.” The door closed between us and Leo and it was unsettlingly lonely without him. Lilith and I waited awkwardly in the streets, glancing over our shoulders every so often. I think it was because this area was so unfamiliar. I mean, I don’t think Lilith has ever been here before, and it’s been ages since I was down here. I practically jumped out of my skin when the city’s warning system went off, just like it did every afternoon. The nearest announcement speaker must’ve been a few blocks away because it wasn’t super loud, but the message was annoying as all hell. ‘Check in with city guard officials every day or face termination.’ Yeah, they seemed not to care very much about finding people who ran off. I mean, we never saw guards or even surveyors passing through this area. Nobody even checked for signs of life and little did the government know, there were thousands of people around here. 

“I don’t think they are even aware these messages are still relaying after all these years. It’s been the same recording since the beginning,” Lilith mentioned after the message had stopped repeating. “I met the guy who had recorded it once, said that he hated hearing it every single day. Drove him crazy.”

“I heard they still constantly play warnings like that in the quarantine zones,” I recalled, but I don’t know how much truth was in that statement. “I mean, when I was young, I spent maybe a few months in a QZ and it was always so loud throughout the night because every half hour they’d blast a warning about curfew. I just hope they’ve stopped by now for the sake of the people.” 

“I wish I could tell you if they had but I got relocated to guard the underground facilities after only a week or so,” she told me. She actually seemed glad that she hadn’t been locked in a quarantine zone and I really couldn’t blame her. “Hadn’t been let back in since then.”

“You’d think it would drive the admins mad,” I thought, but they probably had some sort of noise blockers. I can only assume there’s constant protesting or gunfire or other awful sounds in quarantine zones.

“Who knows.” We waited a few more long minutes until Leo came back outside carrying two rather large bags of stuff. 

“Alright, Mark said we could steal a couple of bikes they’ve got back here,” he told us, handing a bag to each of us. Mine appeared to be full of blankets and some bottles of water. 

“Mark seemed awfully eager to help you,” I observed. I never really quite understood Leo’s relationship with the Syndicate. He was quick to say that the people in the gang really didn't like him but they seemed to respect him at least a little bit. 

“I told him I’d be bringing back extra samples so the Anarchists’ doctors can reverse engineer it,” he explained simply. Lil and I followed him down a nearby alleyway, keeping as much distance from the walls as possible, and we found a small parking lot with some junk in it. 

“The Anarchists doctors, huh?” Lilith dropped her bag of stuff — food, I hope — on the ground and carefully navigated through the rubble to grab one of the clearly barely used bicycles. 

“Don’t kid yourself, you know Todd can’t do it on his own,” Leo chuckled slightly. I think he felt a little bitter that Todd had practically promised a cure for Isaac and then very obviously lied about the progress. Leo had double standards, that was clear, but it didn’t change the fact that he felt let down. Isaac might’ve lied a lot about his progress with his surveyor but that wasn’t a matter of life or death. He also managed to succeed in the end. 

Lilith lifted one of the bikes over the gutted parts of the factory the Syndicate inhabited and Leo grabbed it from her. I noticed that her metal hand stayed locked around the frame of the bike for a few seconds longer than I’m sure she meant to. I hadn’t noticed her complaining about it a whole lot but I sort of expected to hear some complaints at some point. 

Once Lilith had dug up three bikes and they were all free of rubble, we found that some of the tires were flat but there wasn’t much we could do about that. The tires themselves had holes in them but they would serve us well enough. We brought them back out around the front of the factory and Leo went searching in his backpack for a minute. He pulled out a map that was in surprising condition and held it so both Lilith and I could see. 

“So we’re here,” Leo said, pointing at the edge of the map, near the eastern coast. “Union QZ is up here-ish. There’s electric gates here, here, and here… we’ve got to get through at least one of them so I say we steak out somewhere along this road and watch whatever security they’ve got around it. Ize told me he’s used his rewriting things to shut down an electric gate before, so hopefully I can figure out how to do that, otherwise we’ll have to find another way in.”

“Looks like it might take us a good 4, 5 days at the least to get there and back,” Lilith observed. That honestly didn’t sound all that bad. 

“Oh…” Leo trailed off, lowering the map and looking down the street. “Oh.”

“What?” I started to feel a great urgency at his sudden worry. He leaned against the bicycle he’d claimed as his (the one with both wheels pumped up — we’d all decided it would be best for his ankle,) and sighed. 

“Jack had the same idea. That’s what he was doing so far into the city,” he mumbled, folding the map back up. He scratched his short beard as he tucked it back into his backpack. “That doesn’t bode well for us. Jack’s a smart guy, he wouldn’t walk out in the line of fire.” Ah, poor guy. Leo, that is. Still referring to Jack in the present. 

“I mean now that the cure is out I’m sure they expected rebels to come running to steal it,” I pointed out a little timidly. 

“Jack knew… why didn’t he come tell me? Why did nobody come and tell me?” Leo stopped leaning against his bike, moving to pace along the street. The hunk of metal fell onto the ground. Leo laced his fingers through his unruly hair and growled to himself. “They all knew I would go get it for them, I don’t understand.”

“Leo…” Lilith chased after him, leaving all of her bags on the pavement. “Leo, Jack wanted you alive.”

“I made it very clear that I’d die for that cure,” Leo said sadly, “I bet he’d still be alive if I had gone with him, I —” Leo groaned and held his head in his hands. “Ugh, fuck it, let’s just go, we’re wasting time.” He spun on his heels and walked sluggishly back over to me and our supplies. I wanted to say something, anything to him, but I couldn’t think of anything that would make him feel better. I moved to sit on my bike and stuffed the bag of blankets I had been given under my arms. Leo sat on his own bike and searched through his backpack once again for a bottle of rum, which he took a good three or four disgusting mouthfuls of. He winced as he brought the bottle away from his mouth.

“You need to stop,” Lilith practically ordered. Leo put the top on the bottle and looked at her. “I know you feel sick but ask yourself — is Isaac going to be happy to see you like this? Because if you don’t start trying to change now you’re going to be drinking like that the first day you get to see him again. And probably ages after that too. If you start to lay off now maybe you’ll be marginally sober when we get him back.”

“You think I don’t know that? Think I haven’t thought about that every single day, every single minute?” He pressed his lips together, quite the guilty look on his face. His words were laced with anger, though. “I’m fucking trying. I’m _always_ trying. It’s like telling a near-30 year old who walked himself to school every morning as a child because his parents were always working and couldn’t give a damn about him to forget the route from home to school. It takes time to forget, to change.” He jammed his bottle of liquor back into his bag and threw it over his shoulder roughly. He pushed down on the pedals of his bike with his good ankle and rode off down the dusty and cracked street. 

Oh Leo… he wasn’t talking about himself. No, that was obvious. I always… always sort of imagined that Isaac had a perfect childhood but I suppose that was rude of me. Leo clearly hadn’t either and I could tell he was mad at the whole world for being so unfair to Isaac. 

Lilith looked over at me sadly before riding off after Leo. I pushed awkwardly on my pedals and had to work to get my flat tires rolling. I’d definitely have sore legs come the night but it is what it is. I eventually caught up to Lilith, but Leo was quite a ways ahead of us. 

“Let’s not start fights with him, okay?” She looked over at me like I was accusing her of murder. Almost as if she wanted to keep fighting with him. “He’s already hurting enough, we don’t need him thinking we aren’t there for him.”

“I’m just worried about him,” she claimed, and I totally understood that. Hell, I felt the same way, but this wasn’t the way to go about telling him that. He knew we were worried as is. 

“It’s like when you’re on your way to do something around camp and someone tells you to do it. You don’t want to do it anymore,” I tried to explain. She huffed out a small sigh and looked away. She didn’t look like she was denying my words, but she clearly didn’t want to talk anymore. I felt somewhat similar, as my legs were starting to burn and I wanted to focus on where we were going.

It was slow going for the next few long hours of traversing the streets. We had to stop a handful of times and either turn around or hoist our bikes and Leo himself over a blockade. Leo seemed to know roughly where we were going, but I think he was just following the map. Occasionally at crossroads he’d get off his bike and wander around the nearby street looking for legible signs or significant landmarks. His limp was obvious now, the hours of pressure against it making it worse and worse. Not to mention, that alcohol from earlier was clearly affecting him still. He hadn’t really drank much else since then, at least.

“Maybe we should stop for a while,” I suggested as he wandered back to Lilith and I and his discarded bicycle. He had lit himself two cigarettes, curious enough. He wasn’t chain smoking yet that I knew of, but I’d seen him smoke two at a time a few times now. Maybe they just hit more? I’m not sure, I don’t smoke. 

“It’s not even sundown yet,” he mumbled past his cigarettes as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his watch. He popped it open and a little slip of paper fell out, fluttering slowly to the cracked asphalt. Leo scrambled to grab the note before it blew away in the breeze and he held onto it like it was his child. He glanced at the time before tucking the paper back into the watch and shutting it. 

He climbed onto his bike and pulled the map he’d been following out of his bag. Lil and I pushed our bikes next to his awkwardly and watched him drag his gloved finger along a route he’d clearly figured out earlier. The metal covering his forearms was still new and shiny after the season of wear. Before we put Isaac away, he had managed to bend some scrap metal from his surveyor into new gauntlets, nickel free this time. Leo treated them like they were made of diamonds yet as fragile as paper. 

“You’re hurt,” I pointed out. He simply shrugged and inhaled his cigarette smoke. 

“I want to be around here by the end of the night, that’s about halfway,” he said, pointing at the map again. “Then tomorrow we can get right close to the quarantine zone, sneak in the next morning optimistically.” His necklace slipped out from under his shirt’s collar and the ring looped around it glistened in the midday light. His grey shirt was loose, but not nearly as loose as his plaid jacket. Actually, it was isaac’s jacket. Or maybe it was Leo’s at one point but Isaac was the only one I ever saw wearing it. I found it quite adorable normally, as their wardrobe was all shared. Leo’s clothes were Isaac’s and vice versa. Now, though, this jacket he wore — it was sad. Sad but sweet. 

Leo had Isaac’s wallet, too, which held nothing of significance, but I’d seen him pull Isaac’s earrings out of it a few times just to look at them in silence. There was also a nose ring, an eyebrow ring, two snakebites, and a little silver ball that I couldn’t determine where on his body it went. Either way, his amount of old piercings surprised me a bit. Isaac never wore any of his other piercings and it sure made him look a lot less harmless than if he did. Isaac was a troublemaker, that I knew. A pacifist, sure, but a troublemaking bastard through and through. I didn’t like to label people with piercings and tattoos as scary or edgy in any way, but Isaac somehow managed to fit into both that definition and a dorky, science and math oriented genius. He was cool. Isaac was fucking cool. Isaac was just the epitome of an awesome and amazing guy. 

“Well, fine, but if you end up unable to walk tomorrow it’s your fault,” Lilith mumbled. She was achy and tired and probably wanted a rest herself but she wouldn’t say that. She didn’t want Leo to feel like he was wasting time. I mean, her and I wanted to get to that quarantine zone just as much as Leo, and time was of the essence. 

The sooner we got to the quarantine zone, the more chaotic it would be. People would probably be fighting for the first doses of the cure, rioting even. Leo would have the best bet of staying hidden when the guards were busy controlling the people. Something dawned on me. 

“Hey Leo,” I began as we continued our bike ride down the empty street. It was eerily empty and I almost expected it to be bustling with people looking for the cure. “Can you make me a promise?”

“Oh boy, what’s the lecture about this time?” He asked, pedalling as slow as Lilith and I were. The large bags under Lilith and I’s arms were getting in the way of our legs pushing along the flat tires and god it was annoying. 

“No no, nothing like that,” I assured him, “just don’t try to make friends with the people in the quarantine zone. We’ll get them out in the future. Your main goal is that cure.”

“Trust me, I know,” he assured softly past his nearly burnt out cigarettes. He touched the ring that still hung outside his shirt. “I don’t care about anyone but him, you know that. You _know_ that. I need to be back by his side as soon as possible. That’s why I need you to just keep moving along with me.” 

“Of course. We both understand.” Lilith nodded in agreement, raking her messy golden locks out of her face. Leo pulled both of his cigarettes out of his mouth and looked at what was left. His eyes lit up and he _smiled._

“Oh! Oh I have an idea!” He dropped the cigarettes on the road and we continued past them at a decent pace. Both Lilith and I leaned forward, intrigued by his outburst. “Fuck, this is totally an Isaac idea, too! When we get to the edges of the quarantine zone, we should light some of the old buildings on fire. That’ll distract the guards by the gate and we’ll either figure out a way over the wall or we’ll disable the electric gate.” Lilith and I met gazes and nodded. 

“That sounds like a pretty good idea,” Lilith agreed, “but we’ll have to see what the situation is when we get there, don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“Right, ‘course,” he remembered, calming himself down. His mood dropped pretty quickly after that but it wasn’t as bad as he was earlier. Just quiet reminiscing. It seemed to be all he ever did, but it clearly helped him through the day to think of Isaac. 

I wondered for a moment if I’d ever have someone to love as much as Leo and Isaac love each other. I mean I’d met my fair share of people, but nobody ever really clicked as _that’s it they're the one._ When I’d first met Leo I found him pretty hot but he wasn’t my type. Isaac was off limits once I realized Leo was head over heels for him. I even thought I might be quite into Robbie for a time but I really only cared for him as a friend and he was pretty hard to handle sometimes. Todd was married, Michael was a definite ‘no’ at the time, Anthony wasn’t my type, Sai neither. Well, there was Roma, I didn’t mind her, but she was just a friend. 

There was Lilith, too. I liked her, I was sure of that, but there was never anything romantic between us. Sure, plenty of sexual tension, but neither of us were interested in a stronger relationship. We had our fair share of arguments anyways. She never clashed with Leo or Isaac, but she was quick to bite back at me. I couldn’t really blame her, she still wasn’t completely over me shooting her and it’s up to her whether she ever will be. Overall I had too few people in my life to find someone good for me. Oh whatever, I’d gotten through how many years? I’d be fine. 

I just envy Leo and Isaac a bit. Not in a malicious way, but I just wish I had that too. They were just constantly in their honeymoon phase and it didn’t seem to be wavering even now in the hardest times they’d ever faced. I suppose Lilith was nearly dead twice now and Leo and Isaac each did their part to save her, just like Leo was doing with Isaac. There was nothing more than friendship between them and Lilith. Those two were just good guys. Genuine good guys. Maybe not in the past for either of them, but now? They were good to each other, at least. I’m sure they’d screw over a stranger in a heartbeat for the other. 

In the distance, maybe a few hundred meters down the road, an old checkpoint approached. Leo regarded it for a moment but we continued forward, hoping maybe the metal gate was unlocked or we could pass somehow. After we passed only two or three small condominiums, Leo stopped his bike abruptly and jumped off. “Run,” he warned, throwing his bike on the ground and taking off towards the edge of the road.

Lilith and I mimicked his movements immediately, all three of us running in opposite directions. I nearly turned back around to drop the bag of food Lilith had dropped but a gunshot had me backing off. Lilith and I were a few buildings apart on the right side of the road and Leo was crouched down behind a ditched car opposite me. He held his ankle awkwardly and my immediate worry was that he couldn’t run, or that if he could he’d end up with an actual broken ankle. 

“Come out if you know what’s good for you!” Someone down the street called. I sure as hell wasn't listening to someone who fired shots at us, so I kept quiet and pressed my back against the alleyway wall. I peeked around the edge just in time to watch one of the many — too many for us to overpower — scavengers fall to the ground, a sleeping dart sticking out of his arm. Lilith had her dart gun on her thank god and she was quite the shot. Gunshots fired back at us and I could hear Lilith call out to them. 

“We’re unarmed! All we have are sleeping darts! We mean you no harm!” Lilith, the idiot, was dressed head to toe in her old guard uniform. It was strong fabric and warm, so I couldn’t blame her, but I’m sure these obvious rebels wouldn’t take too kindly to her if she stepped out from cover. 

“Come out,” we were ordered, and I made eye contact with Leo. I could see his chest heave with a heavy sigh and he slowly limped out from behind the car, hands in the air. I followed his lead, keeping my head down and barely being able to look at the practically army sized group pointing guns at our heads. Lilith kicked her gun out into the street before she crawled out from behind a dumpster, and I was glad she was smart enough to ditch her jacket. Her grey gun harness/suspenders combination hung around her waist and she held her bare arms, shivering slightly. “Wow you’re a sad looking crowd. Who’s in charge?”

“That’d be me,” Leo immediately responded as the group of rebels moved closer to inspect us and our discarded belongings in the middle of the street. “We’re just trying to get to Union.”

“Seems that’s the reason everyone’s been passing through recently,” the man said. He was clearly the leader, maybe a cowlick taller than me. His black, curly hair was braided back in tight cornrows and he wore a brown bomber jacket. He pushed his rifle over his shoulder and offered his hand to Leo. Leo ignored it and tried to stand tall as best he could. “You’re hurt.”

“I’ll be fine,” Leo spoke hesitantly. Not hesitant because he doubted himself, but because he didn’t trust this man. I was ushered into the middle of the street along with Lilith by a few of this man’s lackeys. “Just let us be on our ways, we aren’t here to cause trouble.”

“Are you with those Anarchists folks who passed through a week or so ago?” 

“We’re acquaintances,” Leo told him vaguely. He lowered his hands down and limped over to Lilith and I and our bicycles. “And we aren’t working with them. We’re just here to steal a sample of the cure from Union, there’s doctors in the Anarchists and Syndicate that can probably reverse engineer it or something. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.”

“Hm,” the unknown man thought for a moment, “come along, we’ll take you through. Grab your things.” Leo, Lil and I all shared passing gazes that said ‘I don’t trust this’ more than anything. As we picked up our bicycles and bags of supplies, Leo leaned in and whispered to us. 

“How much do you bet that these are the bastards that got Jack?” My pulse immediately raised and I just wanted to turn and run. Leo pushed his bike along though, and Lilith and I couldn’t do anything but follow. Another rebel took our gun. And a few more carried the unconscious rebel back into their camp.

“What are your names?”

“You don’t need to know that,” Leo mumbled. I didn’t like how much he was standing his ground, to be honest. We should be rolling over and obeying this guy’s every word if we wanted to get out alive. When we reached the checkpoint gate down the road, I noticed Leo’s eyes glued to the key the leader used to unlock the gate, and that made me worry. Leo was a good thief, I knew that, but I didn’t want him to risk it. We had Isaac’s key thing anyways, didn’t we?

Damn Isaac and his pacifist ways. And damn Leo for believing in it too. Before he met Isaac he would’ve laid waste to this camp in a heartbeat. In fact, he could probably do it on his own. Leo knew his way around a gun. Or he used to, at least. He taught me how to use one after all.

This encampment was far more populated than our. I’d say it was smaller than the Syndicate though, but I wondered why they risked being closer to the centre of the city. It was too open here. It was like our camp — the streets leading into the area being blocked off — but the buildings were too spaced apart and the intersection in the middle was too big. A surveyor was tall enough to peek over the checkpoint anyways. 

“Your tires are flat, let us fix them,” the man offered, and I was tempted to accept but Leo held his hand up. 

“No, that’s okay,” he cockblocked Lilith and I’s poor legs. “Thank you for the charity.” I didn’t really blame him, we didn’t want to spend more time than we needed to here.

“You’re in a hurry, clearly.” I watched Leo break out the puppy eyes and my worry skyrocketed. Was this a last resort of sorts? Or was he just going to guilt trip the man?

“My best friend is sick, has been for a long while now,” Leo told him sadly. He looked down and his hand raised a bit to touch his ring but he must’ve decided against it. Last thing he wanted was for that to be stolen from him. “We want to get a sample of the cure not only for him, but for all the afflicted rebels someday.”

“Ah, the knight in shining armour story,” the man chuckled, “how charming.” Leo bit his tongue from arguing with him. He wasn’t doing it for the glory, we knew that. “Y’know I’m usually quick to put an end to intruders but I’m curious - why are you unarmed? Or, well, why do you only have sleeping darts?”

“We aren’t trying to be the bad guys. Enough people are dying as is and we know the military is shooting on sight,” Leo explained, a weight being lifted from his shoulders. Lilith and I felt the same, clearly. We weren’t dead yet and there didn’t seem to be a plan to kill us at the moment. “We used to be fighters but the lack of killing hasn’t changed what happens in our lives. Helps us sleep better at night I suppose.” 

“Interesting,” the man remarked. Looking around it made me think about how these people were the same as us — a mismatched gang of ordinary people forced to fight for their lives. The Anarchists and in part the Syndicate were just like that too, yet I found them just as threatening. How many people here would actually spill blood? 

I could see the other barricade opposite the one we entered through and dread filled my heart. Might as well give us hope, no? In the small gaps between Lilith, Leo and I, I took their hands anxiously. Leo didn't respond, his hand staying limp in my grip like I thought it would, but Lilith squeezed back in reassurance. Lilith leaned over slightly and whispered to me while Leo bought us time by talking to the man. 

“If you get out alive and we don’t, go back and kill Isaac,” she directed, and I frowned and glared at her. 

“ _What?_ ” Surely she didn’t just say that? Lilith cared about Isaac, didn’t she? And yet she just asked me to kill him? She looked like a different person for a moment — the guard I shot all those seasons ago staring straight back at me. I pulled my hand out of hers in disgust. 

“That’s what — Leo, he — he won’t tell you himself but just fucking do it, Isaac wanted that,” she explained vaguely and I missed half of her whispered words. I buffered for a moment but my next words were interrupted. 

“You can keep anything you want, just let us go,” Leo begged quietly. He reached up to his neck, unclasping the chain and my heart dropped. He pulled the ring off of it and handed it to the man. “You bring that to the Anarchists or the Syndicate and they’ll do you a favour.” 

“Is that so?” The man inspected the ring, holding it up to the clear, blue sky. 

“Mark my words.” Leo pulled his hand from mine and squeezed his fists into balls. I grabbed his wrist and glared at him. He looked like he was about ready to punch the man for even touching that ring. Leo had so many other things he could’ve given him but no, he picked that. 

“Fine, get out of here. I’ll let you pass through on the way back… if you make it that far,” the man accepted. He dropped the ring into his pocket and Leo swallowed hard. 

“Thank you,” Leo choked out. We watched as the man unlocked the door to the gate and he ushered us through. It shut loudly behind us and there was nothing more after that. Leo walked on autopilot down the street a few meters before Lilith stopped him. 

“That was your ring, what the fuck were you thinking?”

“Isaac doesn’t give a fuck about the ring. It’s the chain that matters anyways,” Leo mumbled, hooking said chain back around his neck. He grabbed his pocket watch, opened it, and handed me the note in it. “He just wants me home alive.” I unfolded the note and in rather shaky yet still legible writing it read _Nothing but you matters, lose everything else first._

“Leo…” I began but he held his hand up to stop me. 

“I told him he could bring it to the Syndicate or the Anarchists. If he does, they’ll recognize it and they’ll shoot him dead. I’ll get it back someday,” he told himself. He pulled the note out of my hand, folded it up neatly, and put it back in his watch. 

“Uhm, they took the gun too if that really matters all that much,” Lilith mentioned as she climbed back onto her bicycle. Leo sat on his and inspected his map again, pulling out a red pen to scribble on it. He circled the area we were in and wrote ‘somewhat hostile gang’ in the middle. Or I think he did, I couldn’t really read his printing. I thought maybe he’d get neater with his writing after watching Isaac write so much — I could actually read his writing — but Leo’s chicken scratch never changed. Maybe Isaac found the illegibleness cute and Leo decided not to change the way it looked. 

“Yeah… just gotta hope we don’t need it again,” Leo thought. He pulled his jacket off after he put his map away and he handed it to Lilith. She hesitantly took it but once she did she was quick to wrap it around her cold arms. The man took a small drink out of his bottle of rum, put it away, and pushed his bike forward. His ankle was even worse now but he ignored it as best he could. At least only his elbows were exposed to the cool air, his gloves coming up to the tops of his forearms.

“Let’s forget this happened. We need to keep going,” Lilith said, standing on her pedals to get the flat tire to move. I sighed and we kept going like we hadn’t just been hit by this roadblock. At least Lilith didn’t have to carry the gun anymore. I blocked out what happened for the next few long, painful hours. 

* * *

I practically cried when we finally stopped. I think all three of us did, really. We found what looked like an empty street and took up residence in a small building with three apartments in it. Lilith and I, despite our burning leg muscles, managed to carry Leo to the top floor after we hid our bicycles on the first floor. 

The apartment we decided to stay in was very small, and the kitchen was practically gutted, but it would keep us hidden and relatively safe. It was dusty, but there was a leather couch and a bed — the bed frame was broken but the mattress was intact. Lilith spent a good half hour inspecting the couch and mattress for ticks but found it to be nothing but dusty. I put together some food and tried to make Leo as comfortable as possible. He was clearly in a lot of pain from working his ankle all day, but he didn’t say anything about it. 

It took some convincing to get Leo to eat, but Lilith happily scarfed down the half-loaf of bread I’d given her. We also had a load of granola but we’d save that for another time. We each drank a quarter of a water bottle based on how I rationed things out. After our water was gone for the night, I started to realize how lucky we were to live right on the shore. We had all the water we needed so long as we boiled and cleaned it, and we had all the fish and crab we needed. 

After Leo had eaten half of the bread I had given him and smoked two cigarettes at the same time, he climbed up onto the couch, his back facing us. I hoped he could fall asleep quickly, but his ankle probably ached like a bitch. He’d have a hangover tomorrow too which didn’t bode well for any of us. I dug into the bag from the Syndicate that I had been carrying all day and pulled out a blanket for each of us. I carefully draped the heaviest one over Leo, making sure he was all covered up. I also put one of the two pillows we had under his ankle to support it. I almost felt a little guilty for doing all of this — this was definitely Isaac’s job. It was a good thing Leo was mostly asleep because I definitely didn’t want to get an emotional response out of him. It’s like earlier when I grabbed his hand, he clearly didn’t like that too much. I wanted to apologize but I really had no reason to.

Lilith took the jacket Leo had lent her off and carefully stuffed it under the man’s arms, where he hugged it tightly. She turned and piled the rest of the blankets on the broken bed, along with our single pillow. She took the right side of the bed and left room for me, but I wasn’t quite ready to sleep yet. I moved to the window and looked out at the street for a long while. 

It was quiet out in the streets tonight. I always thought that the closer you got into the city, the more chaotic and loud it would be. The more fighting you’d see. From our camp by the shore you could see the loom of fires in the distance closer to the inside of the city, but from here it was pitch dark. The sky was starry tonight and I wished my companions were in a decent enough condition to join me. 

I remember a long while ago, before I found myself on the coast asking Michael for a place to stay, I’d sit out in the little condo I’d called home once upon a time and look up at the sky for hours. The surveyor would pass by every evening and it was just tall enough to peek into my room. I would draw the blackout curtains when I heard the robot passing and fear for my life as it left. Eventually I found it to be too hard to find supplies and figured my best course of action was to leave my home and search around for someone I could pay with work and receive some food and a roof to stay under. 

Thank god I picked the right direction to walk in that day. The Anarchists were a little too far for me to end up there, but had I run into the Syndicate I probably would’ve ended up being executed on the spot. Maybe even by Leo himself. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of the cool autumn air. It was peaceful for just this moment. Tomorrow would be tougher than today for all of our bodies, but could also be even more dangerous. The closer to the quarantine zone we got, the more surveyors we’d find. We only saw two or three today, but I’m sure we’d see plenty more. Maybe we should’ve brought a gun to deal with those… but we did have some of Isaac’s shrapnel bomb things with us which were made specifically to be used on the surveyors. 

I was knocked out of the moment by quiet sniffling behind me. I chose not to bother Leo and to let him bask in his melancholy alone. He would just get angry if I talked to him, as that had happened multiple times before. I think when he got sad like this he just wanted to imagine Isaac was with him. I couldn’t wait to see his face when they were back together again. That’s what all of this was for — Leo and Isaac. They both meant a lot to all of us as is, but Lilith and I felt like we owed them this much; to bring them back together in the end. 

I stepped away from the window and, as quietly as I could, climbed into bed across from Lilith. I wrapped myself tight in my blanket and rested my head on the edge of the pillow we shared. Our backs pressed against each other and the warmth was comforting.

“Hey Lil,” I began, not turning to look at her. She hummed in response. “Why’d you tell me to kill Isaac earlier?” My words were barely audible but she seemed to have picked them up. 

“Leo said to…” she yawned and shifted a bit, the joints in her spine popping. “Some kind of deal he and Isaac made. Help ‘em uphold it.”

“Oh.” With that, I decided I knew enough. Lilith didn’t want me to kill Isaac just because. Leo didn’t want Isaac to live in a world where he didn’t exist. Or maybe it was the other way around, that Isaac didn’t want to live if Leo was dead. That was probably the one. It wasn’t really any of my business to be honest. I closed my eyes and let out a breath. Leo fell silent after a while and I could finally fall asleep to the creaking of the rickety building in the wind. 


	11. Union

_Leo Smith, autumn 2158._

Every beat of my heart made my head throb and my stomach turn. Everything always hurt when I woke up. Tended to be the reason why I stayed awake as long as I could most nights. I could feel my pulse in my ankle and my joints popped as I rolled to look for my bag. I rolled too far and landed on the rotting hardwood floor, my eyes feeling like they were about to pop out of their sockets. 

“Shit, you good bud?” I held my hand up in response to Destiny’s worried tone. Last thing I wanted was for people to start trying to baby me. I reached for my bag and blindly felt around for a bottle of anything. I couldn’t see not because it was dark, but because everything was just so _fuzzy_. Knowing my luck I just gave myself a concussion. 

“Fuck off,” I grumbled, my voice hoarser than Isaac’s and my throat burning. I heard her walk over and I was just about ready to flail my arms out to push her away. 

“Here, drink this,” she offered, taking my hand and putting a bottle in it. I flinched away when she touched me, my skin aching at the simple contact. I pushed myself up a little bit, resting my head against the side of the couch. I brought the glass bottle up to my lips and braced for the sting in my dry throat, but after two or three gulps I realized it didn’t burn at all. Must’ve lost the ability to feel anymore. I couldn’t even begin to worry as the bottle emptied and I dropped it on the floor next to me. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and gently rubbed my fingers against my eyelids. 

When I opened my eyes I could see relatively clearly but my head still hurt like a bitch and the edges of my vision were dark. I looked at the bottle next to me and was honestly somewhat relieved to find that it had once been full of water. 

I tried to fix my clothes, noticing my shirt was riding right up my chest and I was tangled in my red flannel jacket. _Isaac’s_ red flannel jacket. I clutched it in my hands and ran my fingertips along the once-soft fabric. I buried my face in the jacket and sighed, trying with all my brain power to just simply _imagine_ Isaac was hugging me back tightly. Or maybe not tightly. Maybe as gently as he possibly could. Maybe it would barely even be considered a hug and we’d just lean against each other, unable to do anything else. Anything, please. I’d do anything to just see him from a distance, or hear him speak a single word, or to simply know he was okay. 

I pushed myself to stand far too quickly and I nearly passed out from how light headed I got. I rubbed my temples as I gained my balance and looked over at Lilith and Des, who were playing a game of cards with each other on the bed. I pulled my pocket watch out of my jeans pocket and popped it open to check the time. I paused as I reread Isaac’s simple note to me. ‘ _Nothing but you matters, lose everything else first.’_ I don’t know when he wrote it, but it was clear by how shaky his writing was that he was very sick. I held the note out of the way and looked at the time, simultaneously winding the small gear at the top of the watch until I couldn’t anymore. It was around 10 o’clock. 

“Why the fuck did you let me sleep so late?” I mumbled, closing Isaac’s note away in the watch. I put it back in my pocket and walked over to the small window looking out onto the street. It was cloudy so I couldn't really gauge how much time we’d have until it was dark. “I already told you I wanted to get to Union by tonight.”

“You needed the sleep,” Lilith reasoned. She unplugged her hand from the battery pack she had. I bit my tongue and decided arguing wasn’t worth it. “But if you really feel all that energetic then we can leave as soon as you’d like.”

“Yes, let’s. Now, I mean,” I directed. I sure didn’t feel energetic, and my ankle hurt like a bitch with every step, but I had to power through. No pain was worse than losing Isaac. No pain wasn’t worth having him back at my side. I moved to the middle of the apartment to the couch and picked up all of our belongings, packing everything into their respective bags. I debated a sip of alcohol but figured I’d be able to hold out until noon at least. 

It took longer than I wanted for them to be ready, and there was far too much talk about making me eat something. I’d probably throw up anything I ate so what was the point? I managed to limp my way down to the first floor of the building and we continued our journey across the city. It was rather quiet for a few painfully numb hours, and that gave me a lot of time to think. 

My mind danced around a particularly relaxing memory of Isaac and I, of course. It was rainy out, but the horizon was still visible through a break in the clouds. Isaac had come looking for me, a huge smile cracking across his face. He was just so excited to watch the sunset with me in the rain and god it melted my heart. We stood at the shoreline for a good hour, long after the sun had gone down, huddled close together under a small umbrella. Isaac ended up holding the umbrella upside down to fill it up with water and we simply danced in the rain together in the dark. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world at that moment right then. 

Isaac eventually grabbed the now full umbrella and threatened to drench me with it, but that was quickly forgotten about when the thunder started rolling across the sky. Isaac was absolutely mesmerized by the sound like he always was, but I was far more interested in him — his joyous smile, his hair drenched and sticking to his forehead, his face turned up to the sky. I’d taken his hand and we shared such a pure kiss that I’d never forget. Of course, Isaac was a bastard through and through and he ended up bringing the umbrella up above us and we both got hit by a tidal wave of cold rain water. It had us both laughing though, and that was all that mattered. 

I also couldn’t stop thinking about one time when we were sitting in the workshop, slacking off like usual, and Isaac told me that he was absolutely _fascinated_ by how I thought. He’d told me about some vague memory of once hearing about a philosopher’s retelling of the first recorded supernova ever observed, and all that I could really think about was how scary it would be to not understand stars like we do and just see one explode in the night sky. Doomsday would be my first thought. 

Isaac admitted his first thoughts were about the star itself and how it no longer existed, but that he thought it was so interesting that I thought of the people first. I didn’t really understand it, but he pointed out how he always thought about the facts and the physics but I thought about the emotions of the people. For a moment I thought that my point of view was kind of stupid and lame — I mean, I don’t really give a damn about other people — but Isaac’s expression and interest in _my_ thoughts, _my_ opinions, it just made my heart well up with pride. Isaac really does think I’m clever… and he’s right, I am. I really am. I was so blind before I met him. 

I had to focus once we got closer to the quarantine zone. We even ended up abandoning our bikes in a place I marked on our map so we could sneak past the more frequently appearing surveyors and guards. We actually ended up incapacitating a young guard, taking their government-issued jacked to replace Lilith’s. We all knew Lilith being able to present as a guard would come in handy at some point, so keeping the uniform would be a good idea. 

We had to run from two surveyors, one of which actually detected us, and god those things are intimidating. Having lived on the coast for so long, I never really saw surveyors. Sure, as a kid when I lived closer to the city center they patrolled the streets scanning for criminal records so they could follow ‘dangerous’ people, but I’d never been up close to one that was threatening my life. Isaac’s surveyor didn’t scare me. Maybe it was because I trusted Isaac’s abilities as a programmer, especially when he’d done it all himself. I probably would’ve been cautious had he actually gone through with fixing up the original coding. 

I drank to keep my legs moving. My right leg burned from compensating for my left ankle and my left leg was practically useless now. Damn me for not letting Todd take care of the injury. Isaac’s going to be pissed when he sees me so messed up. Or maybe disappointed. I don’t know what’s worse. Oh who am I kidding? Isaac wouldn’t be all that upset at my idiocy. He’d just be happy I'm alive. 

Lilith and Des seemed in pretty rough shape too. Maybe not as bad as me but I could tell that riding a bike with a flat tire sucked all the energy out of them. I felt bad for making them ride the broken bikes for so long but I wouldn’t be able to even push the pedals down.

An electric gate stopped us in our path, and I realized I had totally forgotten about figuring out Isaac’s rewriting things. Lil, Des, and I hid in an alleyway, the two women watching what the guards were doing as I turned a mangle of wires encased in metal in my hands. There were two loose wires with plugs on them, and surely those were meant to plug into something? I peeked past Lilith’s shoulder and spotted a small box next to the gate itself — a keycard scanner of sorts maybe. My guess was that if I popped that box open and unplugged stuff I’d —

“Oh fuck,” I blurted out. Everything just dawned on me suddenly. “These keep the wall of light firing at registered bodies, we don’t need that. If I tear the wires out of the keycard insert and electrical box surely it’ll just shut down?”

“It’s our best bet,” Des agreed, scratching the back of her head as she watched the guards. “We’re incompetent with Isaac’s stuff, we’d probably kill ourselves by accident.”

“Well, get comfortable ‘cause we’ve got about an hour until dark,” Lilith mentioned as she moved to sit on the ground. I grabbed her arm before she could complete the movement. 

“We are _not_ staying in an alleyway,” I decided aggressively. Alleys were good places for the virus to fester, and both Isaac and Carson were prime examples of that. Sure, there probably weren’t any Afflicted getting into these alleys, but I’d much rather not take the risk. Neither of the girls put up a fight and we snuck into a small suburban house down the street. There was a good vantage spot of the electric gate and I was convinced to eat a little bit as we waited for nightfall. I even got a few winks of sleep in. 

When I woke up I found a few nasty bug bites on my neck and ankles where bare skin was showing. I honestly forgot about the beetles for a while since they never really showed up at the shoreline. Thank someone for that, they were gross little bastards and more annoying than a particularly untameable cowlick. I almost felt bad for the residents here considering the pests were few and far between in cold weather. My guess was that the quarantine zone was still running off them but I really couldn’t be sure. Not until I got in there, at least. 

“Hey Leo,” Des began, and I looked over at her from the window I was peering out of. I offered her a little hum and she sat straighter in the rickety wooden chair she’d claimed. “You talk to people far more than I do — do people who escape the quarantine zones nowadays really come out as sick as they say?” I thought about that for a moment. I’d heard rumours about a particular group of escapees a mile or so out from the Anarchists’ headquarters, some of the Anarchists themselves had run into them, found them to be a rather nice group of ruffians but a little off. Worse than Robbie, some said, but Robbie wasn’t all that troublesome. What was clear though was that they’d gone into a quarantine zone sane and came out the opposite. 

“I can only assume that’s the truth. No reason to lie about it,” I told her. Every single rebel already feared the quarantine zones as much as they feared an airship or a surveyor or even an armoured vehicle full of bloodthirsty soldiers. There was no need to come up with some story that quite the handful of people could back up. 

“What do you think they’re doing in there?” Lilith was lying on the floor, her golden hair splaying out on the wooden floorboards like a halo. He had one of her ankles propped up on her other knee. “The admins, I mean, to the people. Something clearly isn’t right.” I honestly wished she knew more about the quarantine zones than she did. She was a soldier after all, so she should know, right? It was probably for the best that she’d been drafted, she might not be the woman she is now had she been stuck in there. Then again, she wasn’t from Union. Or she didn’t talk about the zone like she recognized it, so I can only assume she’s never been here. Maybe it’s just Union doing whatever they’re doing? Surely not. 

“Who knows. Could be nothing,” I tried to think, but no, that wasn’t possible. People don’t lose sanity over a few years of living in a clean and safe place. “My guess, though? Experiments. Why not experiment on the weak?”

“It would explain why no rebel doctors could find a cure,” Des mentioned, “well, other than the lack of equipment, but the government is under the pretence of ‘everyone can die in the search for the cure’. We’ve seen they have a pretty shitty moral compass.”

“A tad off topic but what’s the plan when we try to… take back the city, for lack of a better term?” Lilith was sitting now, looking over at me as I leaned against the windowsill. “From what I’ve heard, most large groups of rebels are pretty against violence. Maybe not as much as you but we don’t want to be as horrible as the government has been.”

“Who knows,” I told her honestly. I really had no idea. I mean, it didn’t concern me, really. It wasn’t my plan to come up with. I would just follow the lead… 

But I am the lead, aren’t I? Our tiny group of rebels looked to me for direction now. The Anarchists were probably lying low and leaving me be until I got Isaac back but lord knows I’ll have them breathing down my neck soon enough. The Syndicate always tended to follow my orders ever since Mark… did what he did to Conan. 

I honestly forgot Conan even existed. Speaks volumes about how good of a friend I was to him. Conan, my only real friend in the Syndicate for years. I’m talking maybe a decade. We’d gone to high school together, faced the beginnings of the riots together, ran off and hid together. He was a son-of-a-bitch, though. I liked him, sure, but only because he was all I had. I could tell he always had that ‘oh, you’re into me you creep’ kind of energy to him, but that was all but true. Couldn’t be less attracted to anyone, to be honest. Either way, he got rather jealous when he realized Mark liked me better than him. It was a status thing, really. 

Conan introduced me to the Syndicate back when I was maybe 16, 17 years old. The man had already been working with them for a year or so before me, and he always figured he’d make it to the top in no time. Conan wasn’t a thief though. He wasn’t a conman. He was a dick, but he never put his money where his mouth was. 

Stealing was my forté and Mark could see that. I’d steal just about anything of value and bring it back to Mark without anyone knowing the object was even gone. Made quite the profit off of that. In fact, the fences loved me. I made my money as a thief and I was damn proud of it. 

Conan on the other hand was only good for getting debts repaid. You sent him out, and an hour later he’d be back with owed money from some poor bastard who’d been threatened badly enough. Other than threats, Conan was useless. Picked fights with other Syndicate members — which, sure, we all did, but it seemed like Conan was always in fights. Always getting people injured and hospitals weren’t an option for a gang of criminals. 

And of course there was the day he’d accused me of stealing from his mother. One of the unspoken rules of the Syndicate was that family was off limits from anyone. No scams, no conning, no nothing. Being accused of breaking that rule usually meant you’d be going home with a broken nose you’d have to fix yourself. ‘Course, Mark liked me. Mark trusted me. Mark was so sure that Conan was wrong that he sent Conan home for the day. Mark was wrong. 

I’d stolen a pair of diamond and gold earrings knowing full well I couldn’t fence them off without being caught. It was for the fun, for the glory. I’d thrown the jewelry into the ocean that night. 

Conan got a good three or four blows with a crowbar on me the next morning. Broke a rib or two but I couldn’t do anything to fix it. Mark heard the commotion outside our original headquarters and nearly shot Conan on the spot. He held his gun against Conan’s head until I was able to stand, then ushered us into the closed off alleyway that entered into our little group of buildings. Syndicate members owned the three buildings, kept up the facade that they were lived in and typical homes. Behind these buildings the Syndicate did their dirty work, their planning, their fencing. 

Mark had Conan on his knees in the middle of the square and executed him on the spot. Was I guilty then? Not one bit. Conan had frankly treated me like garbage simply because I was good at my job. Was I guilty now? Absolutely. Conan wasn’t innocent but he was in the blurry territory of being right. I’d stolen priceless heirlooms for the fun of it and he knew. Oh well, what’s done is done. The incident had made it clear that I was one of the most trusted people of Mark’s and that I was to be listened to; protected. It all worked out well for me in the end.

I noticed Lilith and Des were still debating the topic of what we’d do come our time to rise up. They spoke about maybe accusing the government officials of war crimes if we could get some proof, maybe getting the soldiers (who are people just like us, mind you,) to turn on them. There was also the idea of getting in contact with cities outside ours, but Carson had been pretty sure that there was nothing but wasteland outside The Wall. ‘Course, I couldn’t just believe that at face value. What did wasteland mean? There were grassy fields outside the city limits that the highway cut through. Surely that can’t be considered a wasteland? A wasteland is dead. 

“Didn’t Isaac have some sort of genius plan?” My gaze shot up at the sound of my partner’s name. For a split second all I could think is _hey, that’s what I call him, not you,_ before I realized that no, that was his name. His beautiful, gorgeous, perfect name. As I kid I’d probably think it was a strange name, with the double ‘a’ and all, but now? I never wanted to hear anyone else’s name, or hear anyone but him say my own. “Leo?”

“Hm? Oh, I mean, sorta,” I responded, my brain buffering for a proper answer. “Said something about messing up whatever network the surveyors are hooked up to, take out the radio towers. That’d make everything a whole lot easier for us in some sort of… invasion? I don’t know the right word.” Isaac would probably know the right word. He always knew. He knew everything he needed to know and more. There were very few times that I’d asked him a question and he’d admit he didn’t know the answer. To be honest, I found it kind of… whimsical, almost, when he didn’t. And what was even more fairytale-like? When I knew something he didn't. I loved to teach him things, it was one of the greatest feelings in the world. It’s like teaching Einstein something. Maybe I’m just biased, nobody knows everything. Nobody knows a fraction of the knowledge in the world. I just can’t help but think that Isaac knows everything.

“Hm, that’s not a bad idea,” Lilith commented. She clapped as she stood up, but her clap was quiet and just sounded like tapping plastic. “Anyways, let’s get down to business. You good to run?” I pushed myself off the windowsill and put some weight on my ankle. It ached, the pain radiating through my whole leg, but I could run if I really needed to. 

We headed outside silently and I handed Des one of Isaac’s shrapnel bombs. We’d already come to an agreement that Lilith and I would get through the gate and Des would follow if she could. If not, she had our map and we told her she should start heading home without us. She made her way across the clearing in the plaza that housed the gate and we waited for the explosion. In my left hand I held a crowbar and in my left a small pair of pliers. 

The second the explosion went off, a ball of light followed by the sound of metal raining down, the five or six guards stationed at the gate moved towards it slowly. Des would keep them distracted as Lilith and I ran over to the gate and I popped the electrical box open. Lilith had taken the crowbar from me and she was attempting to smash the keycard reader to bits. I had no idea how dangerous (or maybe not dangerous at all,) it was to take pliers to live wires but I started cutting every wire I saw. It only took two or three snipped wires for the gate to shut down. 

I lunged to run through the gate as soon as it shut off, not too keen on being seen and shot at, but Lilith grabbed my arm. She threw her crowbar through to test the gate’s electrical field and nothing happened, but that wasn’t all that reassuring. It was usually heat that triggered the scanners to check for Id and there was no way to tell if that scanner would go off. Lilith sighed and stepped through, clearly prepared to die for the cause. I held my breath for a fraction of a second longer than I usually do as she stepped past the metal Tesla coils. 

She took a deep breath as she passed the gate unscathed before grabbing my arm and dragging me through. For a second I worried my goggles resting around my neck would spark and make my head explode, but all that fear was unneeded. The fear that we did need was the fear of being gunned down, and we dipped into the black shadows before moving as quickly as we could down the street. 

“That seemed too easy,” Lilith thought, and I felt similar. Why was this place so unguarded? Well, I suppose the electric gates are meant to be impenetrable, and it leads to what would surely be a heavily guarded quarantine zone, but it shouldn’t have been so easy to break the current. The thing about Isaac’s rewriting tools was that they could be assumed to be faulty wiring until the gates were investigated. Lil, Des, and I all knew that the alarms would be sounded as soon as the guards realized we’d broken through. Not to mention, they’d sound the alarms anyways because someone clearly caused the explosion. I just hoped Des made it out alive. I hadn’t even properly said goodbye.

I never get to say proper goodbyes, it seems. I never got to say goodbye to my father, or my mother, or my sister… never said goodbye to Conan, or Jack, or hell, even Isaac. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone back at camp even though I knew this mission had a high chance of ending in my death. Maybe I shouldn’t have told Isaac that I’d be back soon. I couldn’t let myself break that promise, but I really had no control over what happens next. 

Lilith and I broke into what appeared to have once been a grocery store at one point. It wasn’t huge, but it would serve as cover and Des would recognize it as a good place to hide too if she managed to get through. 

“Sit down, rest your ankle,” Lilith ordered, and I sat myself down on what I think could be deciphered as a fallen and crushed shelf. It smelt bad in here, half-decade old food being left to decay. Lilith pointed her flashlight up at the ceiling towering above us and groaned as a bunch of bats flew out of the light. Broken neon lights hung dauntingly from the ceiling like stalagmites threatening to crash down on us any minute. I held my hand over my mouth and nose just to make sure I wasn’t inhaling black mould or asbestos or something nasty like that. 

Lilith moved around the small area around me, looking around at the rubble. I opened our one remaining bag from the Syndicate (we’d left the other one full of blankets with our bikes back a few miles,) and I pulled out two granola bars. I tossed one to Lilith and I realized that we’d left Des with virtually nothing. She’d fare out there alone, I know, but hopefully she could get back here. 

I peeled open my snake and managed a few measly bites. My stomach still turned and my head ached too much to finish it. I left the half that was left in my pocket so I could finish it later. I packed one extra one in my pockets along with that one, along with a green glass bottle of water. 

Lilith returned to my side and sat down roughly on the rubble next to me. The metal sheet we sat on bowed under our weight and threatened to slip off of whatever was holding it up. Her knee rested against my own and I couldn’t stop myself from turning away from her. Isaac was the only one who should ever sit that close to me. I knew Lilith wasn’t trying to make me uncomfortable as there really wasn’t much room to sit but it still hurt. All the more reason to get going, right?

“Alright, well, can you wait here for me?” She looked up and nodded as she chewed her bite of stale granola. “I’ll be back by noon at the latest,” I continued, pulling my watch out of my pocket. I handed it to her reluctantly, the chain slipping between my fingers. “Leave without me if I’m gone longer, it’s not worth the risk of waiting.”

“Yessir. Good luck, friend,” she wished as I stood up, testing my ankle unconsciously. I shouldn’t have to run in theory, but it was good to be able to. I made sure I had Isaac’s key tool with me and raised my own flashlight up to guide my path. I stopped once I got a few steps away and turned back to her. 

“And please promise me you won’t let him live alone.” I didn’t need to specify who I was talking about to anyone. Even if I couldn’t do the deed myself, I knew Isaac wouldn’t want to someday get the cure and learn I’d died ages ago trying to get it for him. She nodded solemnly and I knew she wouldn’t deny my request. It was Isaac’s request as well, after all. 

With that, I left for good. Again, me with the lack of goodbyes. I made my way a few blocks over, trying to dream up a good plan. There would be guards, I knew that, but I wanted in the front gate. If it came to it I could throw a frag grenade at the guards, but even if it wouldn’t kill them it would still be something Isaac wouldn’t be too proud of. I could try to climb the outer wall but that would take a very nicely placed pile of rubble and hopefully a lack of barbed wire. But if I went that way I was sure not to be caught, and remaining undetected was my only way out of this. 

My heart jumped into my throat when the sirens started going off above me. My immediate reaction was that I was about to have dynamite rain down on me and destroy my home and kill my neighbors. Of course, the sirens were warning the quarantine zone that someone had broken in which also didn’t bode well for me but it didn’t mean imminent death. 

I kept myself as hidden as I could and made my way to the few meter high wall surrounding the zone. I started moving around the perimeter in search of a way over the wall which was thankfully not topped with barbed wire. Luck must’ve been on my side because that earthquake a while back dealt some real damage here. A small townhouse on the inside of the wall had crashed through and left me with some precarious rubble to climb over. Just had to hope I didn’t twist my ankle again or fall into a broken window or get my leg stuck under an old furnace or get cut on a rusty pipe or inhale some noxious gas or trip and knock myself out or… yeah. 

I took a breath and began my climb, my gloves giving me some much needed grip. I got distracted a few times with swatting flies and beetles away from me but managed to stay focused on the task at hand. A few bugs never got me down. Or, well, one particularly nasty bug really put a hole in my life and is trying to kill my best friend but y’know, that’s besides the point. Once I had climbed past the wall I noticed a slight problem. It was quite the drop below into the quarantine zone but it was too late to back down now. I sat on the edge of the pile of bricks I was on and slid off onto the dead grass below, landing on my good leg. 

It had been quite some time since I properly saw real grass. Sure, there was some dry, grass-looking plants growing out of the concrete near the beach but here was actual grass. It was dead, sure, but it was grass. I had this recurring dream of giving Isaac some flowers and seeing this grass gave me a little hope that maybe someday I would. I always kind of wanted to grow a flower garden myself, as dumb as that might sound. I’d never been given flowers before.

I slipped behind a nearby, still standing townhouse and peeked through the alley between that and another building to see what was going on. I was immediately confused. Yes, the alarms were going off, but so many normal people were outside in the streets, and they didn’t look like they had been asleep recently. What made my blood run cold though was that for every person I looked at, they were irreversibly injured somehow. Some were missing limbs, others had mouths _seared shut,_ others burned by fire or acid by the looks of it. We should’ve known. Of course, of _course_ they were guinea pigs. No wonder people escaped the zones mangled and crazy. I felt sicker than I had all day. This was worse than catching the virus. 

If they were experimenting on these poor people then why, _why_ would they give them the cure? It didn’t seem safe. Well… maybe they were only giving soldiers and admins the cure… they wouldn’t risk having them die. Guards were running around the streets trying to organize things and usher citizens into buildings but they all seemed shell shocked. Couldn’t blame them, half of them couldn’t see anyways. Another half probably couldn’t hear. 

One man standing under a streetlight (which had familiar little red bugs banging against the glass as they burned alive) had a tube coming out of his throat and into his stomach for some reason. Maybe the admins or the doctors had torn his throat out just to see what would happen? I thought we had a war where all of that was already figured out. This is what happens when they don’t teach history to kids because it ‘ruins our reputation with other countries’. Didn’t want our future generations to grow up thinking ‘wow, these countries suck and they just did something bad, let’s kill them all’. Our government really did suck from the get go; it’s like that all over the country. 

All I could do was watch as a guard took a baton to a disobedient citizen’s head. The poor person never ended up getting back up. A few surveyors marched through the area but, curiously enough, they all appeared broken in some way. Officials couldn’t get enough of mangling people that they started tearing apart robots, huh? My heart bled of everyone in here, minus the soldiers and the admins, of course. I also don’t understand how a doctor could let this happen because I knew they had at least one doctor, if not many here. 

I snuck behind buildings and observed my surroundings, looking for something that could be considered a medbay or office or anything of the sort. It occurred to me that these people were living in these townhouses that clearly had no power rooted to them or were clean or even remotely safe. Maybe people were missing limbs because they got tetanus off exposed metal supports? Or maybe they were getting sepsis from something, who knows. The doctors do, but they wouldn’t be giving out tetanus shots to people already on their last breaths. 

A chorus of people started chanting about being hungry and I felt honest to god fear at the sight of them becoming erratic. Some started screaming about their children being taken away too, and that broke my heart. It was well known that all children were put into a particular zone near the middle of the city but I can only assume they’re being used for labour. 

I found a rather impressive looking military tent near the back of the zone. I honestly was under the impression that the zones were much bigger but Union could just be an exception. With the distraction of the rioting citizens I snuck into the tent and was relieved to find it empty. 

“Lady Luck be on my side,” I whispered to myself at the sight of a few medical cots. The thief in me was drawn to the cupboards and I started rummaging through, not needing to worry about the noise I was making due to the sirens combined with the screams. Screams of pain, now, which made my head hurt and stomach turn but there wasn’t anything I could do for them now. Maybe in the future, if they lived that long. 

I filled my backpack with vials of what looked like some kind of painkillers and anything I thought Todd might find useful. I found a particularly interesting lockbox and sighed out of relief that I had Isaac’s skeleton key device. I pulled it out of my jacket pocket and analyzed the tool before pushing it into the keyhole of the lockbox. I pressed the button on the handle and I heard a click, which signalled me to turn it like a typical key. The box popped open and inside was the pièce de résistance. Or maybe it wasn’t. Can't be too sure to be honest, I’m no doctor. Either way, it was locked up pretty tightly and I grabbed all of the vials. I locked the box back up just to keep the heat off my tracks for a little longer and got the hell out of that tent. 

I dipped back into an alleyway and observed the carnage out in the streets for a moment. There were quite a few people — I couldn’t tell if they were soldiers or citizens — collapsed on the ground. I snuck into a rather abandoned looking townhouse so I could just watch for a while, see what happened. See what horrible atrocities occurred. 

I stepped through a gutted kitchen and into what might have once been a dining room and froze. There was a man sitting at a small table but I wasn’t sure if he’d seen me yet. It was dark in here after all, only the spotlights in the streets illuminating the edges of the man’s figure. 

“I know you’re there,” he spoke in a gruff voice. He didn’t seem to be trying to intimidate me though. Just a rather old fella. 

“I’m not here to hurt you,” I told him quietly. My eyes adjusted to the dark and I could see his coily hair and rather impressive beard. I was almost kind of jealous of his facial hair but I still had no idea if Isaac would be at all attracted to the decent beard I’d managed to inadvertently grow. “In fact I’m unarmed.”

“You’re from outside, aren’t you?” He pointed at the chair across from him and I moved to awkwardly sit at the table. The lack of a glint in his eyes made me notice his lack thereof. I was bombproof to empty eye sockets but I felt bad for the poor soul. One eye wasn’t life changing, but both eyes was. 

“Yessir. Came for the cure,” I admitted. I propped my ankle up on my knee and rubbed it gently between my first finger and thumb.

“Figured. Take it all, boy, we’ll never get it anyways,” he said sadly. He had his face turned away from me but his ear towards me. 

“Hold in there a little longer, we’re on the edge of revolution,” I assured him. He shook his head. 

“You’re young, I can tell,” he observed. Well, young wasn’t completely accurate but maybe for him 30 was young enough. “Lead your revolution all you’d like, and I hope you succeed, but people in the quarantine zones don’t want to be saved.”

I knew what he meant. They wanted death over living with the memories of this and I couldn’t blame them. “I understand…” For a moment I wondered if suicide wasn’t an option for them, that that would be so much better than any of this, but I wouldn’t ask. It wasn’t truly any of my business. 

“You’re the first to make it into the zone,” he mentioned, clearly not interested in debating the previous topic. “Who are you here for, boy? It takes something important for motivation like yours. You’re injured, too, yet you pushed through.” Oh boy please don’t let me get emotional. 

“My partner is sick, I’m more here for him than for the well-being of the rest of the rebels,” I explained vaguely. If I went into more detail I knew I’d act up and I really didn’t need that right now. 

“That’s mighty sweet of you,” he chuckled weakly. I doubt he’d laughed in years. “I’d love for you to tell me your story but I suppose you’ll be in your way soon.” I pressed my lips together and stood up, moving to peek past dusty curtains. The commotion outside had seemed to have calmed down by now but there were plenty of guards still out. I was lucky they weren’t looking around inside for an intruder since it didn’t appear anyone had penetrated the wall. 

“I’m afraid I must,” I apologized. I can only imagine someone to talk to would mean the world to him, but I had to get home to Isaac as soon as possible. I also had to check on Lil and Des too. The faster we leave, the greater the possibility that Lilith and I will run into Des on our way back, assuming she didn’t manage to get through the gate. Again, all assuming she’s alive still. I chewed the inside of my cheek at the thought. 

“Thank you for giving me your time,” the man said behind me, and I smiled a little bit to myself. I’m glad I could give him a little bit of calm in the storm. “Before you go — what’s your name?”

“Leo,” I told him. He chuckled a bit before waving me away. No more words were exchanged as I moved back to the window I had hopped through and escaped through the back alley. It was far colder now than it was earlier and I awkwardly pulled my jacket around my arms, making sure I wasn’t losing anything in my pockets. I wanted to stick around and observe some more but Isaac was far, _far_ more important. 

I hadn’t noticed that the sirens had stopped going off, but when I realized it just made me all that more anxious. Either they’d given up or caught someone. Hey, at least that meant the guards in here wouldn’t be paying extra attention to dark corners and such. I found it rather easy to get back to that collapsed building, other than having to avoid a surveyor. This one appeared to have a broken lense over its detection laser which might’ve saved my skin for all I know. 

When I got back to the collapsed escape route I looked back into the zone’s main center common area. I swallowed at the sight of three or so citizens tearing a soldier limb for limb as another soldier backed up in fear. Despite holding a loaded rifle, they were too scared to fire at the attackers. I realized in that moment that quarantine zone citizens were more dangerous than the Afflicted. The zones were more sick than the outside. 

Who let this all happen? Which one of the bastards with too much power for their own good said ‘y’know what? Here’s a bunch of defenceless people who are relying on us to save ‘em! Let’s torture them’? I’d happily spill whoever was involved in all of this’ blood. What was even scarier than me being willing to spill blood? The fact that Isaac would too. I feared the day he’d be driven to bloodshed. 

I climbed over the wall and as I cautiously jumped down I heard three gunshots behind me. I didn’t feel bad. I continued along back to the grocery store in silence, taking my time to save my ankle from further trauma. I lit myself a cigarette to calm my heart which was threatening to beat so hard it bashed my ribs to dust. 

I got back to the grocery store with relative ease, the guards clearly having moved on. Or maybe they were inside, examining the body of my friend. I entered through a large, broken window and turned on my flashlight once I got into the innards of the building. I didn’t want someone passing by and seeing the light from the outside. 

“ _Lilith,_ ” I whispered, but there was no response. I covered my nose and mouth with my elbow after dropping my cigarette on the floor. Glass crunched under my boots but at least that would mean she’d hear me coming. I pointed my light at the ceiling and flickered it on and off a few times, scaring the bats off. Across the building I saw some responding flashes and I headed off that way. 

“Leo?” I heard after a few minutes of traversing fallen shelves and mould infested paths. I rounded a corner and found Lilith sat in the exact spot I had left her, a sleeping Destiny leaned against her. I sighed in relief and Des roused as Lilith moved to stand. She went to pull me into a hug but stopped before she made contact. She understood I didn’t want to be touched. She tilted her head as she looked at me. “Well?” I gave her a smile and opened up my bag to show her the vials of what was hopefully the cure to her. I wouldn’t tell her that I wasn’t sure about their contents. 

“We’re good, we did it,” I assured her. Destiny wiped her eyes and moved to stand with us, smiling as she looked into my bag as well. Lilith frowned a little bit. 

“You look sad,” she observed. I scratched the back of my neck and nearly gagged at the stench. I sighed and both women grew even more concerned. 

“They’re… it’s bad in there. Very bad,” I told them vaguely, “they’re — the admins, the doctors, the soldiers, who knows who’s in charge — they’re experimenting on the people, by the looks of it. Lots of missing limbs and burns and… it’s awful.”

“Oh no…” Destiny mumbled, looking down. Lilith pressed her lips together. 

“When I was leaving I watched a few citizens tear a soldier apart.” I nearly vomited at the thought of what I had witnessed. It hadn’t really occurred to me at the time but imagine having something that might have once been a person rip your stomach apart and start eating you alive. This wasn’t right, but no matter how many times I thought it nothing would change. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

I took a breath and my senses were attacked by something different. Lilith seemed to notice it too and she turned in a circle to look around. “Smoke? Oh shit, look.” She pointed across the store where quite the array of oranges was illuminating the roof. My immediate thoughts were that we had been caught but then it dawned on me. 

“Ahm… yeah that’s my fault,” I admitted, already beginning to move out of the store. “I dropped my cigarette back there. Let’s get out before people start noticing.”

“Hey, it might make getting back through the gate easier,” Des mentioned sleepily. Her sluggishness and my limp left us moving slower than intended but we managed to maneuver our way back to the disabled electric gate. We stayed in the shadows for a while before another soldier came running up to those near the gate. 

“Oi! There’s a fire down the road! I don’t think we’re alone here!” With that, quite a group of guards went running along with that one, back towards the burning building. That left us with three and the alarm going off again. I groaned and pulled out a frag grenade of Isaac’s making which he himself admitted didn’t always work. Something about just having to rely on the small piece of flint and the metal shrapnel sparking once you threw it. At least the sirens would mask the explosion and/or the sound of a dead bomb hitting the ground. 

I teetered back on my good leg and launched the bomb off towards the group of guards, turning my back to the explosion. Both girls seemed pretty surprised at my action but it did manage to work, all the remaining guards falling to the ground, injured. I grabbed Des by the arm and dragged her half-awake ass over to the gate, Lilith in tow. We passed through unharmed and booked it down the road we’d originally come from. I eventually had to stop since my ankle was really acting up. 

“I didn’t say it before but I’m glad to see you’re both okay,” I admitted, checking my pockets and bag to make sure I had everything I needed. I looked over to Lilith and she was already handing me my pocket watch back. 

“The feeling is mutual, man,” Lilith chuckled as I snatched my watch back, almost a tad jealous she had been in possession of it. Destiny also agreed, but she seemed pretty tuckered out still. My guess was that she’d run pretty far to get away from those guards from before and then circled back around to rejoin Lilith. 

“Can we stop for the night? We’re far enough away I think,” Des said, looking longingly up at a nearby office building. We thought that was probably a good idea seeing as I was hurting and Lilith was hungry. I remembered my granola bar in my pocket and I finished off the remaining parts. I gave the other untouched one back to Lilith and she scarfed it down. I drank some water as I dug through my belongings and we scoped out the nearby office building. 

I drank what was left of my rum before going to sleep on the hardwood floor with my companions. I had about four different nightmares throughout the night revolving around dismemberment and maiming and my life had I gotten locked in a quarantine zone. Today did not change my fear of the zones for the better, that’s for sure. I woke up tired and hungover like always and we spent the next day travelling home, avoiding a particularly large encampment of thieving rebels. Who cared about the ring? I was so close to having my Isaac back. 


End file.
